Hero, Are You a Spice Wimp?
The sound of sizzling meat filled the air—*chiik—! chwaaaa—!*
Karina was still calmly chewing the first piece she’d put in her mouth. I quickly stir-fried extra portions for the rest of the hero party. On the scorching hot stone slab, the boar meat coated in vivid red sauce danced wildly. The moment the intense spicy smoke billowed up, the entire hero party inside the dungeon started coughing.
“Cough! W-what is that smell?”
The silver-haired saintess, Elin, teared up and pinched her nose. The red smoke wrapped around her, stark against her pure white holy robes.
“Is it poison gas after all?”
The bespectacled mage, Seria, raised her staff warily.
“Please calm down. As I explained earlier, this is simply part of the cooking process.”
I wiped away my sweat and answered with a straight face. Lucy, still on my lap, clearly hated the spicy aroma—she had already buried her head deep inside my robe.
[Daon. My nose hurts. I think I’m going to sneeze.]
‘Hold it in. If you sneeze and human words come out, we’re finished.’
I desperately patted Lucy’s back while carrying the finished extra dish to the table. I called it “Hellfire Boar Stir-Fry.” It was my ambitious creation, loaded with the otherworldly “flame herb” that was even spicier than Korean green chili, with an explosive boost of umami from Taste of Magic powder.
“Here, everyone please help yourselves. It’s a stamina dish from my hometown.”
*Yeah, eat up and drop dead,* I screamed internally.
The four women stared down at their plates. A brief silence fell, as if they were overwhelmed by the violently red color.
“The color is… quite intense.”
The blonde female knight, Karina, picked up her fork. She swept her golden hair behind her ear and boldly took another piece of meat.
“I’ll eat well. This kind of thing is all about momentum.”
*Om nom nom.*
Karina’s expression changed subtly. At first it was a curious ‘hmm?’ but after the second piece, her brows gradually furrowed. Soon her entire face turned beet red.
“Ugh…!?”
“Leader? Are you okay?”
The delayed heat finally hit her. Instead of answering, Karina frantically searched for a water cup and gulped it down.
“Haa… haa… What is this? It feels like my mouth is on fire…!”
Yet even as she said that, her fork never stopped moving. The explosive savory flavor that followed the burn, combined with the boar meat’s signature chewiness, was completely addictive.
“It’s spicy! But… it’s delicious!”
Seeing Karina’s reaction, the rest of the party cautiously began eating too.
“Haaa! Water! Please give me water!”
“This… it must be stimulating the pain receptors to release endorphins in the brain… slurp— ha—”
“……”
Everyone started breathing fire from their mouths. The thief, Luna, ate in complete silence, but her hands moved so fast they were almost invisible.
Success. They were completely out of it. The spice had blown their minds so thoroughly they seemed to have forgotten all their suspicions about me. I cheered inwardly and went around refilling their water jugs.
That was when the problem started.
[……]
A murderous aura rose from my lap. Lucy had poked her head out and was staring holes through the meat the heroes were devouring.
[That’s my meat.]
‘Huh?’
[That’s my dinner. Why are those things eating it all?]
Lucy’s claws sank deep into my thigh. It hurt. I couldn’t even scream—I just broke out in a cold sweat.
The Demon King’s mood had soured. She believed her possessions (me and the meat) were being stolen.
‘J-just be patient. I’ll make you something even tastier later.’
[No. I’m hungry right now. Give me some too.]
Lucy let out a loud, irritated “Nyaah—!”
At that moment, Elin—who had been panting from the spice—lit up.
“Oh my! Is the kitty hungry too?”
The silver-haired saintess picked up a piece of meat from her own plate. She even carefully rinsed the sauce off in water.
“Here, kitty. Say ‘ah~’.”
Elin held out the meat. Lucy’s red eyes narrowed.
The Demon King, accepting meat from a mere human—and meat that had been washed in water and stripped of all flavor? Her pride would never allow it.
But if the rejected saintess felt awkward, the atmosphere would turn awkward too…
*Chomp.*
“Huh?”
Before she could stop herself, Lucy snatched the meat with drool practically flying, nearly swallowing Elin’s fingers along with it. She chewed for a moment, then spat it out with a clear ‘disgusting’ expression.
“Ah…”
Elin looked hurt.
“I guess it wasn’t tasty…”
[It’s bland! What am I supposed to taste if you wash all the seasoning off!]
Lucy screamed inside my head.
The mood grew strange. Karina wiped her sweat and chimed in with interest.
“What a picky cat. Does she take after her owner?”
Her blue eyes turned toward me.
“Don’t cats usually avoid seasoned meat that humans eat?”
Sharp. I answered calmly.
“…She’s a bit special. I’ve been giving her gourmet training since she was young.”
I picked up the largest, best piece of heavily sauced meat from my own plate and brought it to Lucy’s mouth.
“Here, Lucy. Ah~”
Lucy opened her mouth wide and accepted it as if she’d been waiting. Even though it was covered in fiery sauce, she chewed and swallowed with an expression of pure bliss.
“Goodness… a cat eating something that spicy?”
Seria adjusted her glasses in shock.
“It doesn’t seem like a demonic beast… so she really isn’t an ordinary cat.”
“Haha, what can I say? As long as she’s cute, right?”
I naturally stroked Lucy’s head to change the subject. Of course, she tried to bite my hand.
“By the way, what brings you heroes to this shabby dungeon? Did you come for a subjugation quest?”
At my question, Karina set down her cup. Her eyes grew serious.
“It’s more of an investigation than a subjugation.”
“An investigation?”
“We received reports that the monsters in this area have been acting strangely lately. It’s as if… they’re all hiding in fear of some enormous presence.”
She stared straight at me.
“Does anything come to mind, Mr. Manager?”
My heart pounded. *That ‘enormous presence’ is currently sitting on my lap eating meat and grooming herself, you know?*
“Hmm. I’ve just been doing cooking research here. As for the monsters going quiet… maybe they smelled my food, got hungry, and lost all their energy?”
I threw out a ridiculous joke.
Silence fell.
“Pfft!”
Karina burst out laughing.
“You’re funny. Hungry and lost their energy? Hahaha!”
She laughed heartily and smacked my shoulder hard. Her armored gauntlet hurt like hell.
“I like you. Good cooking skills and plenty of guts.”
She stood up.
“Alright. We’ll pull out for today. No monsters in sight, and no suspicious demonic energy readings either.”
Of course, Lucy had been meticulously hiding any demonic energy.
“All that’s here is delicious food, a weird mage, and a cat.”
“You’re leaving?”
I tried to look as disappointed as possible, but inside I was cheering.
“Yeah. My stomach’s full and I worked up a good sweat, so I feel refreshed.”
Karina pulled a pouch of gold coins from her pocket and set it on the table.
“This is for the meal and a tip. I’ll come again next time. Make it a little less spicy then, okay?”
“You’re… coming again?”
“Why? Don’t want me to?”
The blonde knight winked.
“When you find a good restaurant, becoming a regular is only natural, right? The saintess says she wants to come back to see the cat too.”
“Yes! I want to come see the kitty again!”
Elin waved at Lucy, her silver hair swaying. Lucy turned her head away in annoyance.
“Take care, Mr. Manager. Your name was Daon, right? I’ll remember it.”
The hero party had stormed in like a hurricane, annihilated the boar meat, and vanished like a hurricane.
The moment the dungeon door closed, I collapsed onto the sofa.
“Haa… I feel like I aged ten years.”
All the strength drained from my body. So this is what it feels like to walk a tightrope between the Demon King and the heroes. Every single day was shortening my lifespan.
Then the red cat on my lap went *poof* and transformed into a person.
“Hey.”
Lucy grabbed me by the collar. Her face was extremely close.
“Yes, yes, Lady Lucy.”
“You smiled at them earlier, didn’t you?”
“Huh? That was just my customer service smile?”
“And when that silver-haired wench tried to touch me, why didn’t you stop her? Do I look like a joke to you?”
“I gave her meat to stop her. And you ate it anyway…”
“Shut up!”
Lucy shoved me down onto the sofa. She climbed on top of my lower body. The hem of her red dress brushed teasingly against my legs.
“I’m in a bad mood. Places that should only smell like me are now mixed with the stench of random humans.”
She sniffed at my neck.
“The hero’s smell, the saintess’s smell… it’s disgusting.”
Her red eyes gleamed with possessiveness.
“I need to erase it.”
“E-erase it? I’ll go wash up right now.”
“No.”
Lucy grinned, revealing her fangs.
“I’ll just cover it. With a thicker, stronger scent of the Demon King.”
She lowered her head. Hot breath brushed against my neck.
“Tonight’s dinner won’t end with steak. Daon, you’d better prepare yourself.”