The Dream of Starting a Business, With a Necromancer

The hero party left in a panic after getting a taste of the spicy stuff. But then Lucy got all jealous(?) and exploded, and now she's on top of me. She's saying she'll "get rid of the smell" and won't let go—what the hell does that even mean? Am I gonna survive today?

The storm of time passed, and night grew deep. Lucy had drunk a little of my blood... okay, actually quite a lot, and once she was satisfied she turned back into a cat and fell asleep. I clutched my anemic head and collapsed onto the bed... or rather, the stone floor.

'The real problem is what comes next.'

Karina had definitely said they'd come again. That meant this dungeon had become a target of interest for her group. Could I really stay hidden as just a simple restaurant? And how long could I keep Lucy's true identity a secret? On top of that...

"Ugh, please..."

Despite my quiet wish to live peacefully, the situation kept getting more tangled. Now it wasn't just the heroes—other adventurers chasing fame would probably show up too.

Right then, a new notification popped up in the gallery.

But my scream was buried. The old-timers in the gallery had already latched onto the idea of a "dungeon meetup" and were setting a date.

The hero party's return visit. The ancient fossils of the Mage Gallery's offline meetup. And a jealous Demon King on ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠top of it all.

Was my isekai life really going to be okay like this?

A few days passed after that.

After the hero party left, I did some thinking. Since the dungeon's location is already completely exposed anyway, wouldn't it be better to just step into the light? Instead of hiding and getting hit with a subjugation force, if it becomes famous as a "dungeon food destination" and turns into a tourist spot, they probably won't touch it recklessly. Plus, I need money to cover Lucy's food expenses. The ingredient costs are no joke.

I replied immediately.

"Haa~ Daon. I'm bored."

Lucy rolled around on the sofa, whining. The hem of her red dress slipped down, revealing her pale legs, but that wasn't important to me right now. My bank account and gold pouch were running dry.

"Lucy-nim. Don't you want to eat meat?"

"I do. But you said we're out of ingredients."

"That's what I wanted to talk about. We need to make some money."

Lucy's eyes widened into perfect circles.

"Money? You mean those shiny pebbles? Why do we need that? We can just take it."

She pointed out the cave entrance.

"There's a village down there. Luden Village, was it? If we go there, kill everyone, and raid their warehouses, we'll have enough meat to last a lifetime."

Lucy casually suggested a massacre. As expected of the Demon King. Her way of thinking was on a whole different level.

"Lucy-nim. You don't understand the basics of economics."

I explained seriously.

"Look. If we raid the village, we'll get meat for now. But what happens when that meat runs out? If all the farmers are dead, who will grow the wheat? If the ranch owners are dead, who will raise the cows? Where will we get the flour and milk for cake?"

"Uh...?"

Lucy's pupils shook violently.

"Then... I can't eat cake anymore?"

"That's right. ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠You'd have to chew on dry jerky for the rest of your life."

"I absolutely hate that!"

Lucy shot up from her seat.

"No way! My cake! My whipped cream!"

"Exactly. So we have to coexist with the village. Let the villagers work hard at farming and raising livestock, and we'll pay money to buy from them. That's the sustainable gourmet lifestyle."

"Su... sustainable gourmet..."

Lucy nodded, seemingly impressed by the difficult words.

"Fine. I'll allow it. But you handle all the annoying stuff. I'll just eat."

Permission granted. Now the problem was execution. It was impossible for me to handle cooking, serving, calculations, and cleaning all by myself. There was an Ogre Mage, but if that big brute tried serving, he'd smash the customers' heads instead of the plates.

I remembered the comment the Necromancer had left in the gallery.

It was tempting. This was the dream of every evil boss.

Ding!

"Alright, I'm learning them."

I opened the skill books. Strange knowledge flooded into my mind—the principles of separating bone from flesh, injecting dead mana to move the joints.

"Time for a test run."

I gathered the scattered remains of adventurers who had died long ago in a corner of the dungeon. I even mixed in some bones left over from the ogre's meals.

"Rise, my slaves!"

Crack. Crunch. White bones assembled themselves on the floor and stood up. Five skeletons in total. Blue light glowed from their empty eye sockets.

"Krrraaa..."

"Whoa, it actually worked?"

But ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠there was a problem. They were way too scary. The visuals ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠looked like you could see internal organs between the ribs. Customers would faint before they even got to eat.

I followed the Necromancer's advice and gave the skeletons a bath. Then I used dark magic to create black maid uniforms and butler suits and put them on.

"Attention!"

Clatter.

The five skeletons lined up in a row. Their white bones were polished clean. On top of that, neat uniforms. They even wore super cute lace headbands.

"......"

It was grotesque, yet somehow stylish. Was this the 'gothic horror' aesthetic?

"Good. From today on, you guys are the hall serving team."

Skeleton Number One clacked its jawbone in response. It couldn't speak, but it seemed to understand.

Serving was solved. What remained was the most important part—the kitchen.

No matter how much MSG magic powder I used, my professional cooking skills had limits. If I wanted to make pasta, stew, and desserts in addition to steak, I needed a real expert.

"Lucy-nim."

"Yeah?"

Lucy looked up from devouring her cake.

"Where's the public cemetery near Luden Village?"

"Cemetery? It's over that hill over there. Why? Are you hungry?"

It seemed Lucy thought going to a cemetery was about the same as going to a buffet.

"No. I'm going scouting."

"Scouting?"

"Yes. I need to recruit chefs who possess a culinary soul that even death couldn't separate."

The night grew deep. The moonlight was unusually bright. Lucy and I—in her cat form—sneaked into the public cemetery on the outskirts of Luden Village.

[It's creepy. Smells like dirt.]

Lucy grumbled from my shoulder.

"Be quiet. You'll wake the guards."

Using the information I'd researched beforehand, I scanned the tombstones. The Resurrection of the Dead skill the Necromancer hyung taught me wasn't just about making zombies—it was high-level necromancy that called forth the souls of the deceased to form contracts. There were penalties, of course, but with Demon King Lucy by my side, I didn't have to worry about safety.

"Found it."

An old, moss-covered headstone.

The legendary chef of Luden Village. Fifty years ago, he served the king and was unfairly driven out for the crime of "the soup being cold," then died of a broken heart. A tragic genius. His grudge was surely tied to "perfect cooking."

"Please rise, Chef."

I pressed my staff against the headstone and poured in mana.