Is It My Fault This Time Too?
Hey everyone, did I need friends after all?
I seem to be hearing voices too.
And the hallucinations look really detailed.
But it’s not like that. There’s this person I’ve been seeing a lot lately.
The problem is the kid is smart. If they said they saw hallucinations, they probably wouldn’t believe it...
— Tti-hwak-jjit: Better if it were something like that...
— Tti-hwak-jjit: Yeah, that’s about it.
— An-woo-dae-hae: What if they usually look expressionless and then suddenly laugh way too much or say weird jokes?
— Tti-hwak-jjit: They seem a bit blunt, but sometimes when the mood changes they throw out jokes that don’t fit the situation, but...
— Tti-hwak-jjit: But that’s just ice-breaking, right?
— An-woo-dae-hae: Needs a thorough check, but it looks like severe schizophrenia.
— An-woo-dae-hae: They need to take meds and get support from around them.
— Tti-hwak-jjit: 1.
Someone talked about how scary the atmosphere was and they were seeing and hearing things only by themselves.
Honestly at first I was like “They’re just trying to get attention with some nonsense lol” and about to cut ties.
But at the very end it was almost like “Yeah, I get it lol” and I got scared...
Even if I look at it, it’s clearly real. If I didn’t just vaguely say something because I didn’t want to be treated like a mentally ill person?
— Tti-hwak-jjit: Yeah, that’s right.
— Elf-sai-ko-kki-ri: Are they on drugs?
— Tteul-ttae-tteul-ttae-ttae: No, they’re not the type to do that.
— Elf-sai-ko-kki-ri: Haha yeah, drugs are for the rich... our allowed drug is music...
— Tteul-ttae-tteul-ttae-ttae: Kaaaaak
Who’s seeing hallucinations and hearing voices?
Bringing up mental illness out of nowhere is a bit scary.
Not that one of the pros suddenly got schizophrenia, right?
— Tti-hwak-jjit: It’s just a provocative bait rising normally, everyone’s talking about it lol.
— Je-yuk-dong-ga-seu-guk-bap: Yeah, the community always does group venting, and when something interesting comes up they all play with it...
— I-reo-na-se-yo-yong-sa-nim: It’s a prospective pro who got caught and they stopped...
— Je-yuk-dong-ga-seu-guk-bap: What’s a prospective pro? Is it talking about the second team?
— Tti-hwak-jjit: Anyone who’s active or retired pro gamer or all of them are prospective pros lol. If your skill improves you’ll be scouted, who knows lol.
— Je-yuk-dong-ga-seu-guk-bap: Ah lol.
Just yesterday there were three or four a day.
Suddenly something happened and they all vanished?
But that can’t be.
When a streamer goes down the kids bring over to other communities and burn everything...
Why suddenly quiet and worrying?
— Inbang-bom-dae-bom: They made a fan cafe and everyone talks there.
— Vansoo: Oh.
— Tteul-ttae-tteul-ttae-ttae: Oh you want to see it burning? 1.
— Reksia-yeo-wang-nim: Ehehe.
— Vansoo: I’m so sorry...
Re-min’s daily routine was monotonous.
Waking up lazily in the morning, eating, showering.
Changing from pajamas to comfortable clothes, stretching a bit.
Then immediately turning on the stream.
The stream had no fixed end time, but for wrist health and maintaining condition he’d stop around evening.
Especially as a ranged damage dealer, the mental endurance for every single game was no joke.
Paying attention to reaction speed, positioning, and counting the opponent’s dangerous skill timings.
Exhaustion accumulated quickly.
Still, he didn’t focus that much the whole game.
Waiting for match, ban-pick time was basically rest.
Returning to base and returning to lane, no real manipulation.
So he recovered more than average people, a hard gamer who played eight hours a day.
But the accumulated exhaustion was an undeniable type of thing.
Especially as a position that always had to keep nerves sharp.
So by evening the stream ended.
The routine had hardened, even after going out in the afternoon he’d turn it off in that time slot.
Today’s reason was drinking.
Drank during the day so tired and going to sleep early.
His condition already interfered with games, so he showed poor performance in the last three games.
Even if he didn’t shine, it wasn’t that he played badly.
Still, if condition was good he’d have danced better on the tightrope, avoided more skills.
Especially a ranged damage dealer with all stats concentrated in power, the downside was low durability.
Even after nerfs he got less beaten, but items focused on attack stats.
Whether dodging one more skill or not decided the fight, and even tier was exaggerated.
Well, if he could intentionally dodge the opponent’s skill.
That play wouldn’t only show once.
If it accumulated, naturally win rate would come, and that would lead to rank score. Obvious.
So Re-min maintained condition.
So Re-min picked up the phone early and lay face down on the bed.
He’d said stop games and stream, not go to sleep.
Checking game info until sleep, collecting content good for stream.
Of course, while at it, since he’d found something fun lately, watching Noeul’s stream who was steadily streaming.
This wasn’t to learn anything special, just for fun.
Even on the bottom lane they clashed sharply with the opponent sometimes.
But with both ranged damage dealers, fights that ended in brutal back-and-forth were rare.
But Noeul was really aggressive like a crazy person.
When Noeul played defensively, it looked like they’d lose only if the opponent jungler interfered.
Just during game, no matter the time, they were tussling with the opponent or measuring where to dash and fight anytime.
If ahead of the opponent, of course could go aggressive since fighting wins.
Even when behind, kept pushing.
Even died three times to consecutive jungler interference, somehow avenged once and closed the gap, showing unyielding will to reverse.
So viewers of Noeul’s stream couldn’t help but find it fun.
So Noeul’s channel growth trend was quite steep.
At first a few fixed viewers from herself, but only around 100.
After that steadily streaming, now over a thousand viewers.
Re-min who watched Noeul proudly and slipped in chats to play together.
Suddenly worry hit about Noeul’s situation.
No matter how he looked, it was a bit forced to talk about becoming a pro gamer and revealing face.
Because Noeul was so pure, she didn’t even suspect the intent and just took the words.
She said she would, no more could be said.
Re-min just looked anxiously whether viewers were messing around.
If Noeul’s appearance was as distant from pretty things as she said.
Viewers armed with sharp words full of wounds might have come.
But even those people left without a word because Noeul was cute and lovable.
Perhaps just because of a somewhat pallid complexion.
Only a few people doing lewd jokes appeared.
Still, because Noeul’s manager was good, even bad chats disappeared at a speed too hard for Re-min to see.
Even after Noeul finally revealed her face.
Because viewers cherished Noeul, no worry happened for Re-min.
Fortunately Noeul hadn’t touched League of Champions but horror games, could enjoy more comfortably.
“Um, I should probably switch to a general broadcast streamer soon. Long-term, that side seems better.”
Re-min enjoying Noeul’s stream, learning too.
Was it the heavens fearing Re-min’s growth?
In an entirely different direction from Re-min’s worry, a thought exploded.
Noeul started talking about the next-door sister.
Honestly, Re-min wanted to see who she was too.
Noeul praised the next-door sister so much, I thought maybe.
Just barging into someone else’s house without contact.
Well, couldn’t not worry.
“What. Now this... no way.”
But that kind of person wasn’t it.
Or, originally, could they even be called a person?
Caught on camera, said no one else saw it.
Noeul alone calmly talking with the next-door sister.
Re-min’s head raced with stories about the next-door sister like a strobe light.
Right away going to the next door, no such woman as Noeul described.
And when Noeul streamed she sometimes visited.
Of course never heard the voice, but hearing Noeul talk into the mic, it couldn’t be unknown.
But if the next-door sister didn’t exist?
Noeul might have the ability to see ghosts... but...
More likely Noeul had schizophrenia.
Then everything explained.
[...That story, just because we’re playing horror games we tried it. How was it, a bit creepy?]
Perhaps because viewers’ reactions were so negative.
Noeul vaguely said she’d handle it, but to Re-min’s eyes it looked like she was just glossing over because no one believed her.
Noeul’s words were true.
Only that sister was a hallucination that only appeared to Noeul.
It tore Re-min’s chest.
Well, Noeul’s past, imagining it anyway.
Brought up like a boy but because she was a girl, cruelly abused.
Even in such an environment studied hard and went to university.
What returned was violence that blinded the eyes and cut off one foot.
Even with a good friend like Gabi.
But such a friend couldn’t stop the violence.
So when alone, Noeul needed someone she could rely on.
So even while streaming alone, a hallucination shaped like the sister had been taking care of Noeul.
Or not taking care.
Instead, a hallucination that gave voice to the things Noeul wanted to hear.
Still, looking at Noeul going to university or playing games intelligently.
Noeul was a smart kid.
Conversely, it would be hard to accept that what they saw was a hallucination.
Right away digging through the community.
Viewers who passed it saying “Oh, that’s Noeul” on stream.
Or perhaps because they worried Noeul might be harmed, answering with questions wrapping it as their own situation.
Hallucinations and voices that blurred reality and fiction, severe schizophrenia.
But to treat that, the patient had to acknowledge they were sick.
Noeul might not easily do that.
Re-min fell into worry.
How to help such a Noeul.
How to help so Noeul could treat the illness without being hurt.
Re-min couldn’t find an answer.