Han Yeji
I was sprawled face-down on the bed, pen flying, sorting out what to throw away, what to wash up, and what to buy, when Lee Suho — apparently fresh from his shower — called out to me.
"Noona."
He'd called to me while I lay exactly as I'd been all along, still sorting through the day's schedule and sketching out plans, so I answered by lifting my head just slightly off the mattress to look at him.
"Hmm?"
"Ha. First things first — that getup of yours... Could you do something about it, please?"
"Because I've got no clothes on? I figured a rough cover-up with the apron would do."
When I asked what the problem was, Suho pointed under the bed.
"...Well, for starters, there's a boxy tee in the drawer under the bed — same as the one you wore before... Take it out and put it on, please."
"Why? Too much hassle... and honestly, just wearing the apron is secretly pretty comfortable."
"You'll need clothes on when you go out to take the trash down after emptying the fridge, won't you? Or are you planning to stay home the whole time?"
"Ah! Good point."
It was a hassle, sure, but he had a point. However you sliced it, stepping outside in nothing but your own skin was begging to be mistaken for a pervert.
'It's fine at home, I suppose, since there are two men here... no, wait — would it actually be more awkward precisely because there are two men here?'
"Ugh... fine. Okay. Aren't you going to be late, though?"
"I'm the CEO — what does it matter? If I show up early, it only makes the other employees self-conscious."
"Ah... really?"
He wasn't wrong. From an employee's standpoint, nothing on earth is more uncomfortable than a boss who clocks in before you do.
"Also — the gold card on the desk is a credit card I've registered to open both the front door and the building's shared entrance."
"Ooh..."
"Don't use it yet."
"Tch."
And there went my excitement, snuffed out mid-glow.
"It's fine as long as you're staying around the house or the neighborhood. Hmm. But you can't keep rotating that one boxy tee forever... My secretary will drop off some simple clothes you can wear later on."
"Suho."
"Yes?"
At his promise to bring me clothes, I smiled my sweetest smile and said,
"The way I see it, I'll need a few pieces cheap enough to wear once or twice and then toss."
I'd had an ominous premonition that cleaning out hell would leave me drenched in demon blood — which was exactly why I'd told him I'd need clothes I could just change into. Whether he'd roughly guessed the reason or not, Suho nodded.
"...Mm. Understood. Oh, right — I'll tell her to buy underwear and bring that along too. Noona."
"Hm? Once my luggage gets here, wouldn't there be underwear in it anyway..?"
Suho stared at me as if I were a very strange person.
'What now? What could possibly be bothering him this time?'
"Whether that's true or not is beside the point — shouldn't you be wearing a bra, too?"
Following the sweep of his chin as it jerked up and down toward my upper body, my gaze drifted lower and lower.
"Huh?"
By the time my head had bent down a good forty degrees, I spotted the enormous hill blocking my view — and it dawned on me.
'Ah...'
So that was why my shoulders had cracked and ached every time I got up...
And Suho's odd reaction finally made sense, too. However well he knew I was a man remade into a woman's body, there was no helping what the eyes actually saw.
And with me standing there naked except for an apron, no wonder he'd been so flustered.
I could sympathize with where he was coming from well enough — but since none of it had registered in my own body yet, I shut the thought down.
Still, whether or not I ended up buying underwear, I'd at least need to know my size, so I asked Suho.
"But how would your secretary know my size? Even I don't know it."
"You collapsed yesterday, and it was already taken care of."
"Huh?"
"Ah, your three sizes are—"
"Hey!"
I shouted loud enough to strangle his nonsense in its cradle.
Suho, who'd plugged his ears with his fingers for the briefest moment, stared levelly at me.
"What? I didn't take the measurements — the secretary did. They're accurate."
"No, that's not what I—..!"
There was no taking measurements over clothes, which meant he'd had my transformed body measured. Bare.
Goosebumps shot down my spine. I blew up at him — and Suho smirked.
"Quite the fuss, from someone who's been perfectly content lounging around naked until now."
"..."
After seeing Suho off to work, I peeled off the apron, dropped it into the laundry basket, and opened the cupboard.
I sorted through the dishes, and everything still worth washing went into the sink to soak in a frothing swamp of hot water and dish detergent.
"Let the dishes soak for a bit... Meanwhile, I'd better deal with the chipped ones and the ones one knock away from shattering."
I wrapped them roughly in newspaper, stuffed them into a trash bag, and left it by the front door. Then I readied myself to open the gates of hell.
"Mm..."
The hand gripping the fridge handle was trembling.
'The moment I open it, something is going to come pouring out. I don't know what, but it is absolutely going to pour.'
Something vividly red had already oozed out of it, as if the fridge were coughing up blood, so I spread a few sheets of newspaper across the floor in front of it — no sense doing extra cleaning before the gates of hell had even opened.
"Ugh... I really, really hate this."
Mercifully, in a place this expensive, the kitchen corner had its own dedicated food-waste disposal chute, sparing me the special misery of letting scraps pile up until collection day.
"Hoo-hah!"
Taking a deep breath, I stepped back two paces and pulled the fridge door open — and there it was: the pandemonium I'd once seen in an illustration, alive and well in this kitchen.
"Ugh... this wasn't even a question of housekeeping anymore..."
However little interest a person took in housekeeping, this was no barren, empty fridge — it was one that showed you at a glance what he'd been living on...
No — one that laid his entire life, from before I ever arrived, utterly bare. Sigh after sigh escaped me as I worked my way through it.
He'd lived mostly on delivery food, and he clearly wasn't much of an eater. A single bite at the least; about half a portion at the most — that described the vast majority of what I found.
'Eating alone, day after day — had it slowly become too much bother, so he picked carelessly at his food, until the portions themselves withered away?'
Calling Suho to mind and thinking about what his body had been like: he was on the short side, with a thin frame.
Right. There was nothing strange about him eating so little.
And yet this morning, I'd served him a portion sized for the man I used to be — and he'd polished it off without leaving a thing. That was the strange part.
'Was it because it was the first meal anyone had ever cooked for him — did he force it all down out of courtesy...?'
I was midway through the cleanup when the doorbell rang from the entryway.
"Han Yeji... ahem. The CEO's secretary. I've brought clothes for you to wear. I'm coming in."
—Beep. Ri-ring.
Apparently that hadn't been a request for me to open the door — it swung open almost the same moment she announced she was coming in.
In walked a woman in a crisp suit, her voice high and soft all at once.
"Ah... hello... there..?"
"Yes. Are you organizing the fridge, Madam? Shall I give you a hand?"
"Ah, I'd be grateful for the help, honestly — it's absolutely filthy in there... Uh. ...I'm sorry, what?"
I was fairly sure I'd just heard something very strange.
Up to the Noona, I could...
Yeah...
Coming from Suho, who looked for all the world like an adorable little brother, I could just about let it slide.
"Just now..."
"Yes?"
"Sa... Madam..?"
At my question — which must have sounded like what on earth are you talking about — she set an armful of shopping bags full of clothes down beside the entryway and answered.
"Yes. That the two of you got engaged yesterday..."
"That son of a— ahem. You have Suho's contact information, don't you?"
"Yes."
"Dial it for me, please."
I fetched the phone Suho had tossed me and pressed it into her hand.
Her fingers rattled across the screen at a speed that was honestly mesmerizing, and I watched — until she'd placed the call within seconds and handed the phone back, which I snatched away as if reclaiming stolen property.
Phone pressed to my ear, I waited, and waited, for the endless ringback tone to end.
"Yes. Noona."
"Hey!"
—Click.
The call died the instant I yelled. Dumbfounded, I dialed again — and Suho picked up as though he'd been waiting for exactly that.
"Yes. Noona."
His voice, running the exact same routine as the first time, made my blood boil — but terrified he'd cut me off again, I swallowed the fury climbing up my throat and barely managed to ask,
"Why am I engaged to you?! Who gave you the right!"
"Ah... well, seeing as you'll most likely fail anyway once you've wrapped up two or three works, I already told my secretary we're engaged, and that the marriage will go all the way to the registration later. The paperwork's ready, too."
Suho's voice sounded like he was stating the most obvious fact in the world — or like he was laughing at me.
'This bastard... he meant to lock the contract in one way or another from the very start? So that's why he never once refused my revision requests and kept changing everything...!'
"Don't make me laugh! I'm going to see it through to the end! Now hang up!"
My secretary — no, Yeji — who'd been watching me huff and puff all by myself, gave me an awkward smile.
"The CEO does tend to do exactly as he pleases, doesn't he? I completely understand."
"...Yes. By our contract, if I can't manage it, the marriage registration goes through... but this is the first I'm hearing about any engagement..."
"A contract. My, you have gotten yourself into quite a bind. If it were me, I'd sooner have sold my soul to a demon. In any case, your being our Madam to the outside world probably won't change, so you may as well get used to it."
True to her role as the devil's minion, her powers of persuasion were first-rate.
'I nearly fell for it, too..'
"No, wait. First... I, um..."
For someone who had spent years suppressing her feminization with Symptom Delayers, I had no idea how I was supposed to wear the underwear and clothes Yeji had brought.
I opened my mouth to ask her — then hesitated, imagining how it would look to anyone who didn't know I was an ASCS patient: a grown adult my age who didn't know how to put on underwear. A complete dunce.
"Ah — you don't know how to put on a bra, do you? I'll teach you."
"Uh...?"
"I heard you received the ASCS treatment yesterday and went back to being a woman — was I misinformed? That's why the CEO asked me to take your measurements as well, Madam."
The order of events was a little scrambled, but thankfully Yeji already knew everything, which made talking far easier.
"Yes... thank you. Then I'll be in your care."