Like Taking Candy from a Baby (2)
"Uncle Willai."
At Isaac's aegyo, Rillai's eyes went wide with a seismic tremor of the pupils.
No, of course they did. There was no other way.
Isaac…!!
This was the child his eldest brother had left behind. To Rillai, the seventh son and youngest of the house, the firstborn was the brother who had carried him on his back and raised him. His eldest brother and sister-in-law had been like parents to him.
And ten years ago, he had lost them both.
He had regretted it, and regretted it, and regretted it again. Why, of all days, had he skipped going out to greet his brother and sister-in-law that day? He had known they would be passing near the demon lands. He had known the Skeleton Demon King was relentlessly hunting the Saintess. What had some stupid after-feast mattered so much? What had sulked him into skipping a birthday celebration?
So when word came that the couple had vanished without a trace, his heart had collapsed. And when he learned they had a child—and that the child was even alive—he had seen light and hope for the first time since.
The moment he actually saw the squirming, milk-drinking infant Isaac, he had thought: I would gladly lay down my life for this child.
Besides, Rillai had been cursed by the Skeleton Demon King—his body healthy, but a child forever beyond his reach. So he had raised Isaac like his own son.
No—like his own son, times ten!
And that child, the one he loved so much it hurt to even look at him…
"Uncle Willai. Grandpa hates me and he's punishing me. Isaac can't ever go home again, can he?"
How could anyone's eyes NOT pop out of their head, hearing that?!
Huh?!
Fatherrrr! How can you make a child say something like this?! And you call yourself a grandfather, huh?! Isaac might be a prodigy, but he's still a ten-year-old! Is picking a fight with a baby your idea of a grand time?! HUH?!
He wanted to march straight to his father and grab him by the col… no, no! No! He wanted to go argue his case this instant, but he held it in.
"No, Isaac, it's not like that! Grandpa is the head of House Eshua, so he's only stricter with his own family. Do you know how often Grandpa talks about our Isaac? Hm?"
Watching Rillai fidget and fuss, Isaac chuckled to himself. Heheheh.
Yes yes yes, my beautiful Rillai! Blink and die for me! Nephew-doting for the win! Doting idiots are the best kind!
Though by the looks of that answer, there's still some reason left in him. He hasn't completely lost his mind.
'Can't be helped, then.'
[Master?]
Isaac quietly covered his face with a hand. Even after becoming human, no tears would come—so he sneaked in some eye drops instead.
And then—
"Uncle. What do I do? Grandpa told me to leave…!"
"What? LEAVE?!"
Rillai's expression froze solid.
After everything, now he's telling a CHILD to get OUT?!
At that reaction, Isaac gave a sly little smile. Sure, what the head of House Eshua had actually said was 'pack up and come stay home with us,' but hey. He hadn't technically lied, had he?
Then Isaac twisted the knife.
"Grandpa said I don't have the qualifications."
Rillai seized Isaac by the shoulders, aghast.
"No qualifications?! Did Grandpa truly say that to your face?!"
"Yeth."
Well, in truth, when the old man had asked what Isaac wanted, Isaac had demanded liquor, and been told he didn't have the qualifications (the age) for it yet. But it's not a lie if that's what he heard, right?
Isaac lied through his teeth without a drop of shame.
"Uncle… I don't have the right to stay at the See, do I?"
He even made his shoulders quiver ever so slightly, playing at crying.
"…I can't even pass the Blue Faith's Pentagon. So I can never become a fine high priest like you, can I?"
He knew perfectly well Rillai was a holy knight—but he deliberately said priest. A little slow on the details made it sound more childlike.
And sure enough, Rillai's face became the face of a man watching the sky fall—no, the face of a man who had lost his nation. The way he'd gone deathly pale, mouth hanging open and flapping wordlessly, said everything about how far his sanity had crumbled.
Which meant it was time for the finishing blow.
"Isaac's dream was to pass the Blue Faith's Pentagon, become a proper priest, and hunt down the demons with you, Uncle—no, to crush the Skeleton Demon King's skull. So now I can never smash his head in, ever?"
THUD.
Rillai finally collapsed. Then, cursing his father under his breath, he grabbed Isaac and held him tight.
"Don't you worry. Your Uncle will fix ALL of it!"
"Weally? Weally weally?"
You'd BETTER fix it, you bastard.
"Yes! That pathetic Pentagon? I'll make it so our Isaac can pass it with his eyes closed! What's there to be hard about a little thing like that?!"
"Wowie, it weally won't be hawd? Weally?!"
[Master, there's less soul in that face and voice than in a corpse…]
Shove it. Consider it an honor.
But Rillai just pulled Isaac into a crushing hug and wailed.
"Yes, yes, so don't worry your little head! Your Uncle WILL get you through it! So come on, let's go hunt the Skeleton Demon King together!"
Isaac's eyes, hidden against his uncle's chest, curved into crescents.
Heheheheheh. The doting-idiot buff is truly unbeatable.
"Yes, the visitation request. It's been filed and approved."
The Holy See's prison. Isaac had come to the cells where the Fourteen Six Demons were held. The guards were all priests of the Red Faith, and they eyed Isaac with open distaste—but hey, what were a bunch of bottom-feeders like them going to do about it?
"…We have verified the token His Eminence granted you. Visitation will be possible in fourteen days."
Ha! Yes! THAT'S what I'm talking about! The power of connections!
The sight of those gutter-priests pulling moldy sour faces is a genuine treat for the eyes!
But the timeline was the problem.
"It has to be fourteen days? Can't it be any sooner?"
The execution was less than a month away. That was cutting it far too close.
"Planning to show me a severed neck instead? You skipping, chattering chickenheads?"
The Red Faith priests' faces twisted.
Apparently they still carried a deep grudge over what had been done to Naizer, the third son of the Red Faith, leaving him in that state.
"Hah. Under normal circumstances, a visit would be flat-out impossible. You should count yourself lucky we're permitting one at all—"
Isaac gave the Cardinal of Red's token a lazy little wave. His face said: You really planning to flap your gums in front of this thing?
"Five days."
Before the badge that symbolized their supreme leadership, the Red priests swallowed hard and bowed their heads.
"Th… the Demon King's subordinates require security protocols, you see. If one escaped, it would be a catastrophic incident. We need at least ten days—"
"Three days."
"You must give us at least a week!!"
"Today."
"T-tomorrow! Not a moment sooner!"
"Approved."
"Ggh…!"
The Red priests bowed their heads, inwardly seething—what kind of brat IS this? And why did His Eminence have to hand the token to a Blue Faith street-rat child of all people?!
'Calm down. Breathe.'
The Red priests fuming in place all wore faces that said just hold on a little longer, for some reason, but Isaac couldn't have cared less.
'These chickens, dragging out in one day what should take one day.'
He could see them today, sure—but honestly, tomorrow worked out better for him.
Why?
'Because if I take the King title at the Blue Faith's Pentagon today, there's something I gain.'
With that, he could visit his subordinates in far greater safety. The visit would inevitably mean bringing a Heresy Inquisitor along—best not to do anything that could expose his true identity.
'Not that the Blue Faith's Pentagon is any concern. Rillai promised he'd dumb it down for his precious nephew!'
Pwoop!
And so the Sacrificial Offering Festival—the execution ceremony that would draw delegations from nation after nation—was now right around the corner. Isaac had already claimed three King titles, with top marks in every individual assessment, so his participation in the execution ceremony was all but guaranteed.
But to personally lead an execution, or to bring his whole team along, he'd need to keep performing in the remaining Pentagon rounds.
'The messengers of the gods will descend for the ceremony, too. If I want to move freely, the more allies the better.'
In any case, the visitation request was filed. One problem down.
"Now then, let's go see how Rillai fixed up the Blue Faith's Pentagon for me. Puhet!"
He definitely made it stupidly easy, right?
"I see. So Duke Isaac is unable to attend."
At the Imperial Princess's words, Rillai gave her a puzzled look. Their visit to the imperial court to meet the Crown Prince had gone smoothly enough, but apparently someone there had taken quite an interest in Isaac.
"The head of the Blue Faith has assigned him a demanding task, you see. Though I confess, I never imagined Your Highness would take an interest in that child."
"Yes, well, I've had His Highness drilled into my ears since I was little."
What? The Crown Prince? Since she was little?
The source of the admiration was unexpected, and Rillai glanced at the Crown Prince—but the Prince himself looked thoroughly disappointed.
"I was hoping to at least press a seal into wax while I was here. This won't be easy at all."
His thoughts drifted to the young prince he had met only days before—Hiberius, the youngest prince of the Magic Empire. He'd never dreamed a prince of an enemy nation would come crawling all the way into the Hella imperial court.
And hadn't that lump of audacity, that puffed-up brat, said this the moment he laid eyes on him?
"—Is there any law saying a Saint must belong to the Holy Empire? Surely I may escort Brother Isaac to the Magic Empire?"
The gall—trying to poach the Empire's precious Saint. Perhaps he should have had the boy's head removed and shipped back after all.
Between his black hair, leopard-like golden eyes glinted with displeasure, and Rillai smiled.
"Why worry so much? My nephew is a priest, not a mage. He has no reason to ever leave this Holy Empire."
"No, your nephew is a mag—"
"Pardon?"
"Nothing. Never mind. But do be careful. House Berith and the Red Faith both have their eyes on your nephew."
"!"
"The Sacrificial Offering Festival in particular—the one hosting the execution ceremony. The ceremony is famous, sure, but at its heart, the Offering Festival is the day the priests summon and contract with the god who chose them, is it not?"
At the Sacrificial Offering Festival, the top-placing apprentices would each summon a god and contract with one as their representative. Isaac was a top placer too, so naturally he would have to do the same—
"Hahaha. Isaac will be fine. Nothing will go wrong at the Offering Festival."
But the Crown Prince stared at him with utter gravity, as if to say, will he really?
"…Are you truly certain? Even knowing your nephew will draw an 'evil god'?"
PUHAHK!! KHOLGH!!
Rillai, mid-sip of the tea the Crown Prince had poured, nearly choked to death on it.
…Hack! Kaff! That damned personality of his—no, that damned FAITH of his, it's been found out?!
And this Crown Prince bastard isn't even suspicious—he's fully convinced! Convinced Isaac will draw an evil god and become a fallen dark priest!
…Honestly, the rest of the family is about ninety percent convinced themselves, but STILL.
'Damn it, what do I do? Is he going to hand me over to a heresy inquest? Or an execution?'
It wasn't an unfounded fear. Being a dark priest was a capital crime in the Holy Empire.
Rillai's pupils quaked so violently that the teacup in his hand rattled and trembled—but the Crown Prince simply wore his grave, serious expression.
"He will draw an evil god. One hundred percent. The Red Faith is lying in wait for that very day, and House Berith surely is too."
No, you little—! He might NOT draw an evil god! One hundred percent?! That's going too far, seriously!
If this weren't the Crown Prince, Rillai would have decked him.
'Though Brother Goel did tell me, for some reason, not to worry… is it really going to be okay??'
The Crown Prince looked a little wistful.
"Judging by the head of the Blue Faith's actions, your nephew will fall out of the Pentagon. Then he'll simply return to the Eshua Duchy, so I suppose it hardly matters."
Ha! The Eshua Duchy? As if!
"No! He'll be fine! My father's schemes won't work on Isaac. I'm going to raise him to be the head of the Blue Faith—no, the Pope himself!"
Indeed, Rillai had already used his authority to revamp the Blue Faith's Pentagon trials to be absurdly easy.
His precious nephew had asked, after all. He HAD to fix it for him!
Meanwhile, at the actual Blue Faith Pentagon examination hall, the priests were all standing with their jaws hanging open at the easiest exam in history.
"Now, the final task of the Blue Faith's trials is—capturing a magic beast."
"Take down just this one, and you pass the Blue Faith's Pentagon."
Shuri and the Blue Faith priests all looked at Isaac, their chests swelling with pride.
"Ooh! With THIS, it's like taking candy from a baby!"
"Isaac! You can do it! This is it—you can pass!"
"As expected of Lord Rillai! Who couldn't pass this?! Good thing you spoke up, kid!"
Everyone was cheering—but Isaac, the little schemer who had orchestrated all of this, was sinking into despair.
Son of a— Rillai, you chicken-brained bastard.
You said you'd make it easy.
"Don't you worry! Your Uncle will get you through with your eyes closed! I'll set it at a difficulty a newborn could pass!"
No, it IS easy enough to pass with my eyes closed. It's easy, technically. These are the slime-tier beasts that little kids practice on, technically.
Yeah… I'd also just flick my wrist once and it'd be over in a single blow, but…
Having cashed in his doting-idiot buff, Isaac stole a glance at the mass of magic beasts standing before him.
Yeah, so, you see…
…They're skeletons.
"Rattle-rattle-rattle-rattle! (Hooray! It's our King! Our King has come!)"
"Clack-clack-clack-clatter-clack! (Hooray! You came to see us! You came to see us!)"
Can't even speak properly, weak as wet paper—the lowest of the low skeletons. The lowest-tier vermin that priests treat like crippled dogs.
Yeah…. Skeletons.
[So this is kin slaughtering kin.]
SON OF A—!!! DAMN YOU, RILLAI!!!
I'LL WIPE THE ENTIRE HOUSE OF ESHUA OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH FOR THIS!!!