New Clothes Are Good, Old Friends Are Better (4)

"No, no, wait a second. Dongha."

"There's no waiting. Shut your mouth and jump."

Having proposed exile by free fall, I threw the window wide open. The four who'd been kneeling crawled over at once, clinging to me, squawking and begging for their lives.

That was when the Demon King came running and shoved them aside.

"Hey—get off! He's mine!"

She must have shoved them hard; the clinging party members went tumbling and rolling. They were not about to be cowed, though. They scrambled back to their feet and launched into a desperate round of pleading for their lives.

"This—this cannot be! You would drop us from here? We shall die! Without question! Baek Dongha! Have you not a shred of lingering affection left for us?"

"Yep."

"Let's not do this, Dongha. Huh? Don't you know how I feel?"

"Don't want to know. Get lost."

"Dongha. Do you have any idea how much we've missed you? We turned the entire country upside down to get here. We'll give up now, all right? We'll give up and leave, so just a few days. Please?"

"No."

Today the Demon King had been weirdly lucky, and we'd been having a great time playing—until these four came crashing in. We'd fought for ages, and by now it was dawn.

It was all the same pathetic begging for their lives, so I was letting it wash over my sleepy ears—until something I could not possibly let slide came out of Rebecca's mouth.

"Dongha. Think back to the old memories! We had good times, didn't we?"

The rest of the party stared at Rebecca with looks of pure despair. Why would you say something that stupid and ruin it, you moron—that kind of look. But the garbage that had already left Rebecca's mouth was riding the air straight into my ears.

"Hey, Rebecca. The fuck did you just say?"

Rebecca stammered and hit rewind.

"...Huh? That we were good together?"

Wow. I had nothing.

And what, they die if they fall from here?

Yuria, who'd stuck an apple on my head and shot arrows at it. Dorothy, who'd giggled while casting low-odds instant-death magic. Rebecca, who'd crushed me under tens of kilograms of armor every single day until I started to suffocate.

Weren't those all things that could have killed me?

My teeth ground together.

Rage boiled up. I wanted to drag them to the warehouse right now and take all ten fingers off with the crocodile doll. I wanted to drive a ray straight into every last forehead.

No.

Forget it.

Forget it.

What's the point of getting angry at these demons.

It's all in the past.

Even if they got torn limb from limb now, even if they were tied up in a square and stoned, it wouldn't erase a single thing they'd done to me. The satisfaction of revenge is short. The unease of killing lasts.

Right.

I'd been walking down a road and fallen into a manhole. I'd chosen that road myself, and I'd been unlucky enough to land in a filthy place. That ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠was all.

I was out of there now. I'd even taken a shower in clean water.

This was the Demon King's house, and this was the Demon King's victory. If I started putting on airs just because I happened to have the upper hand, I'd be operating on the same level as them.

I'd already explained to the Demon King how dangerous they were. The persuading was done. Don't load it with personal feelings. Leave the killing, the dropping, or the sparing to her—she'd handled everything just fine so far.

I turned to the Demon King. Her expression, for some reason, was not good.

I asked her one last time.

"These guys are incredibly bad. Like a hundred of me, maybe?"

"Whaaat! Then my house will go up in flames!"

"Right. They're trash. If you let them go, they might come invading again someday."

"...Uuum."

"What do you want to do?"

Part of me still wanted to wipe them all out. But I would follow her choice.

The Demon King looked distinctly unhappy, her face drawn into a sulk. Nine, Dorothy, and Yuria read the room at once and hastily shifted their campaign onto the Demon King.

"Rebecca. You keep your mouth shut for now. You're the Demon King, yes? You're so beautiful. Your eyes shine just like Blood Flow Stones!"

"Hmph. Earlier you said I was ugly as squid sundae."

Dorothy: cut.

"What was that movement earlier? I've never seen anyone dodge all my swords. You dodged everything!"

"Sword-freak. Because ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠of you, my Paper Crane almost got torn."

Nine: cut.

They'd just told Rebecca to keep her mouth shut, and yet... Women who'd spent their whole lives looking down on people simply could not do lip service. Flattery, it turned out, was something you had to have practiced. Somehow every word out of their mouths only made it worse.

"Uuum... what to do... I really, really hate you guys..."

The Demon King seemed to hate these four even more than her usual intruders. Maybe because they'd wrecked the house so thoroughly, and because they'd put a wound on her arm.

Even with the three of them laying it on, she still hesitated over what to do with them. And the one who unexpectedly captured that gloomy little heart of hers was Rebecca.

"D-Demon King. You look really good with Dongha, too."

"..."

"..."

"......R-really?"

Huh?

The gloom that had been sitting on the Demon King's face a moment ago smoothed right out.

".....Where do we look good together?"

The Demon King asked Rebecca, fidgeting. I could see the other three entrusting their fates to the pink twin-tailed blockhead they'd been scolding just seconds earlier.

Rebecca, who did nothing but troll all day long, announced with total confidence that she'd finally pulled one off.

"How should I put it! That! Like a fried egg and mayonnaise?"

What kind of nonsense was that. Just go with something normal, like a crocodile and a plover.

And yet.

"...Th-that much?"

The Demon King's pale pink lips trembled. Apparently it was a comparison that hit her right in the heart. They say extreme geniuses and extreme fools have surprisingly good chemistry. Maybe that was it.

She whipped around to look at me. Then she came close.

"Are you okay? They did a whole lot of bad things to you, right."

"...Yeah."

"...But can you stay with them for a few days?"

That question from the Demon King was as good as saying she was going to let those women stay for a few days.

"...You don't want to drop them after all, huh?"

"...Yeah. If they fall, their butts will hurt a whole lot."

She'd been in a bad mood the whole time. She clearly hated the women who'd just been pointing swords at her, trying to kill her. And even so, she didn't want them to get hurt. At the same time, she was worried about my trauma.

...Wasn't she too kind?

Who on earth. Who had taken a kid this kind, this pretty, this soft, and branded her a demon that had to be killed.

I opened my arms. The Demon King ran into them like it was the most familiar thing in the world.

"I'm good, right?"

the Demon King asked.

"Yeah."

"...B-better than them?"

"Better than if they fused ten times over."

"...Kihihit."

I wrapped both arms around the Demon King. The friend in my arms was cold all over, but her heart was beating. She was alive. Today, too, the Demon King was alive, and she had come into my arms.

Thank you.

A whistle cut the air. Then a round of applause.

Rebecca, who'd been ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠watching us, whistled and clapped. Idiot. The second the mood lightened, she started showing off. I fired a ray beam at her on the spot. She went flopping and rolling around the Demon King's Castle like a fish I'd just pulled out of the water.

After a great deal of deliberation with the Demon King, we settled on the field as the place to put my former party members to bed.

The Demon King's room was out—she said no. The paper house and the study were out, because she didn't want to move anything. The warehouse was out. There were dangerous things in there, like the crocodile doll and the Killer Ray Robot. If those women went crazy and ran amok with a weapon each, we'd have a real problem.

We narrowed it down and narrowed it down, and the most suitable place turned out to be the Demon King's little field.

"H-here? You want us to sleep here? This is a dirt field. Isn't there a bed?"

That was Dorothy.

Had this one lost her mind.

"You fucking—if you want a bed so bad, fly back to your mansion."

I whispered it quietly into Dorothy's ear so the Demon King wouldn't hear. And of course the Demon King saw me doing it.

She came pattering over at a run.

"Ah—yo-you! What did you just say to her? A secret talk? I'm your Secret Friend!"

She dashed up and yanked me away. I gave the Demon King a brief explanation, for whatever that was worth, and turned back to the four.

"Listen well. You begged so much, and the Demon King is so kind, that she yielded this place to you."

I said it clearly, so all four of them would hear.

"That's right, that's right."

The Demon King chimed in.

"Hey. You gonna answer?"

"...Uh. Yeah..."

"That's all the voice you've got? Don't you understand your situation?"

They still seemed to think they were a great noble's daughter, or a sword saint who'd taken a dragon's head. I picked up the Killer Ray Robot I'd just refueled.

"Thank you!! We'll stay quietly!!!"

Now that was a satisfactory answer.

"I've laid a bunch of mana bombs by the door. Because of the curse effect, you lot have the same magic resistance as me, so if you step on them you'll die for sure. Don't get any funny ideas. Even if you don't die, if there's a sound, she'll come right away. She doesn't sleep, you know. If you really want to escape, go through the window."

They all nodded at that.

"And one more thing. The crops here. The Demon King has counted every single one, so don't even think about eating them. Friend. How many are there?"

The Demon King rattled off the crop inventory stored in her head without writing a single thing down.

"You heard that? If even one goes missing, I throw all of you out the window. Collective punishment."

"...Oh, please. Who would eat that stuff..."

Dorothy pouted and grumbled.

"You. Come here."

"...Yes? Ah, I didn't say anything..."

"Come out here."

Click. Click. Dorothy walked out. I made a scissors with my fingers.

And drove them in.

"Kyaaaaaaah!"

Straight into Dorothy's purple eyes. I'd always wanted to try that. Of course there were no personal feelings involved. Really.

"You goddamn bitch. You, who only ever stuff your face with expensive food other people made for you—do you know a farmer's blood and sweat and tears?"

"My eyes, my eyes!"

"Don't be a baby. We're going to bed now, so stay put."

I turned to leave, but the Demon King didn't follow.

"...What's wrong?"

"Them... what about the bathroom?"

"...Why even worry about that. Just tell them to dig a hole, go wherever, and cover it up."

".....That's pitiful."

Haa. Seriously.

"What do you want to do, then?"

Pad, pad. The Demon King walked up to the four and spoke.

"If you need the bathroom, tell me. I'll go with you until then."

She was too kind.

"The Demon King's kind, right? If it were you, would you show this kind of mercy to people who tried to kill you?"

No one answered.

I could understand that. It had taken me a long time, too, to change the picture of the Demon King that the outside world had drilled into me.

"I'll take silence as a yes. Be grateful to the Demon King who even spared trash like you. Then lastly—each of you, three compliments about the Demon King."

"Ehh. N-no. Why would you... that's embarrassing."

She said that, but the Demon King was looking forward to it. The evidence was her bouncing on her tiptoes.

They couldn't think of anything, though, and after a long struggle they barely managed three. I remembered being the same way, a long time ago, when I'd played drinking games with the Demon King.

We left the idiots in the Cabbage Patch and came back to the bed with the Demon King.

Today felt like an incredibly long day.

To think I'd see them again.

They like me? That's why they searched for me?

Bullshit. Even if that were true, nothing could justify what those women had done. I would never forgive them—not now, not ever. I could swear it on the Demon King.

...The Demon King.

Today had been really dangerous.

Those monster-like former party members had clearly been growing the whole time they were traveling, but to think that after just a few months they could push her this far—the Demon King who, last time, hadn't even been able to lift a finger against them.

My guts went cold.

If I'd arrived at the tower even a few months later, those women might actually have killed her.

Thinking that, my heart felt like it was tearing.

Don't. Sad things only get sadder the more you think about them.

But why was the Demon King like this. Restless.

She'd been staring at the ceiling with a bitter face for a while now.

"...You got hurt earlier, didn't you?"

Maybe she wasn't saying anything because she didn't want me to worry.

"...No."

"...Are you lying to your Secret Friend?"

"N-no. Really no. I didn't get hurt."

...Really? Guess I'd guessed wrong.

"...Then what's it about? Would dropping them have been better after all?"

"Uuuuum. No. We can't do that."

We couldn't just go to sleep like this. If we did, the Demon King would clearly spend the whole night agonizing alone over whatever she was bottling up.

"Tell me. What's it about."

"...It's.."

The Demon King turned her head toward where I was lying.

"...Your name is Dongha?"

She must have heard the party members calling me that all day.

Come to think of it, I still hadn't exchanged names with the Demon King.

"...Yeah. Dongha's right. Ah—should I have told you sooner?"

"N-no...! It's not your fault..."

"You call me Dongha too. Then what's your name?"

".....I don't have one."

"Huh?"

"...Hehe. I don't. It's not like there's anyone to call me by it anyway."

Demons like Leviathan were famous enough to have had names since ancient times. But most demons didn't have any particular name at all.

She was probably the same.

And since she erased the memories of everyone who came looking and sent them away, no one would remember her anyway.

Still, I'd thought she would have a name. Like Deoldeori, the one she'd mentioned before.

"...Dongha... it feels weird... hihit."

The Demon King tried my name on, smiling a little bitterly.

"Hey."

"...Yeah?"

This should be all right.

Now there ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠was someone who would call her every single day.

"...I'll think of a name for you."

".....Huh? What did you just say?"

"I'll think about what name would be good for you. Can I give you one?"

"Yes!!! Of course... of course you can!"

The Demon King burst out at full volume. At that level, I wouldn't have been surprised if the idiots sleeping in the Cabbage Patch had sat up in shock.

"A name? A name! Hehe."

"...But it'll take some time. I'm really bad at naming things."

My naming sense was genuinely terrible. The dog I'd raised on Earth had been named Phalanx, and the chick I'd raised as a kid had been named Shockwave.

"It's okay. Take your time. Until then I'll call you Dongha... even if it's just me."

She still seemed unused to my name.

"You don't have to. Just call me the way you always have. When I make your name, call me by mine then."

"Oh, yeah. But what did we used to call each other?"

"...Friend?"

"That's right! We had that!"

The Demon King puffed up like a balloon filled to bursting with happiness, one breath away from popping. She hugged me and rubbed her whole body against me.

Who would look at this cute behavior and think this was the kid who had smashed the strongest hero party with her bare hands a few hours ago.

"So that's why..."

"...They kept calling you by a name only I didn't know... I kept getting jealous. I hated it so much."

That was why she'd hated them especially. The sulky face had been because of that, too.

Still.

".....W-wow, wowaa... that's, that's such a cool thing to say..."

The Demon King's mouth dropped open in wonder. She seemed to love what I'd just said. She smiled wide and trembled all over like she'd been electrocuted.

"I—I really had the best luck today."

...What luck, after going through all that. My friend was too positive.

"...We're good now, right?"

I said it looking at the Demon King's completely loosened face. But her brow furrowed slightly, like it still wasn't entirely cleared up.

"...Why? Is there something else?"

"...N-no."

There was.

"Tell me. You gonna stew over it alone all night?"

"...Th-there's just one thing... it's too childish..."

"You are childish, yeah."

"...I-it's."

The Demon King's request was even more childish than I'd expected. She said it made her strangely angry that I kept looking at the other party members besides her. I'd been listening with a serious face, and then I burst out laughing.

"Y-you said I was prettier! So why don't you look at me more!?"

"I looked at you a lot too."

"...Liar. You looked at the sword one 64 times and the purple-haired girl 83..."

She'd been counting that, too. That was a little creepy. Wait—she didn't lose the fight because she was busy counting this, did she?

"Okay, okay. From now on I'll look at you a lot."

"...Yeah. That's a promise."

"...Am I a little childish?"

"Yeah. As childish as a six-second breeze."

The Demon King's cheeks flushed like an active volcano again. Her cheeks puffed up like balloons, too. It was so cute I teased her for it, and she got all sulky again.