New Clothes Are Best, Old Friends Are Better (3)

The house was a wreck. The stone floors and furniture still dripped with disaster-class buffs, but Yuria's arrow barrage had left them cracked and shattered all the same.

"Ugh... my chair."

The floor, in particular, was so densely packed with arrows that from a distance it looked like a flower field of fletching. Dorothy's magic had scorched some patches and left others slick with meltwater from ice that had already thawed. In short, the place was a disaster. Cleaning it up and putting it back together would take days.

Even so, the cleanup could wait.

"...You're really not going to kill them?"

"...Yeah."

No matter how thoroughly I explained the danger my former party members posed, the Demon King showed not the slightest intention of killing them. Not even when I pointed out they might come back if we just let them go.

Which meant we needed to restrain them, at least for now.

"Got any rope?"

"N-no!!! Why would you leave me behind and make a choice that extreme—"

"What are you even talking about... I'm trying to tie these idiots up."

All four of them were sprawled unconscious on the floor, faces swollen like they'd been bitten on the cheek by a cobra. It'd be a problem if they got up and came at us again.

"Mm. It's fine. Don't worry about that."

The Demon King cast the same weakening curse Dorothy had used earlier—on all four of them. She'd picked it up just from watching how Dorothy gathered her mana.

"They won't be able to use magic for a while."

The Demon King's mana was far stronger than Dorothy's, so of course the same curse hit harder. They'd all been reduced to mana eunuchs, just like me. Their arms had been turned into parrot wings, too... and we'd confiscated all their weapons. That should be enough to feel safe.

That's when it happened.

"Hah... Dongha... not there..."

Nine woke with a disgusting moan, and the rest started opening their eyes one after another.

They locked eyes with the Demon King, who had been watching the idiots in silence. Each of them reacted in their own way.

"...I-I can't gather any mana at all!"

"Kh, my bow... no, before that, my hands! What is the meaning of this... Dongha! Have you thrown your lot in with the demons after all!"

"Dorothy. Your arms didn't turn into parrot wings. Scratch my back for me. I can't reach it now that these are wings."

Just listening to them chatter was enough to make my irritation spike. This was probably the first time their party had been wiped, so they hadn't grasped the situation yet.

I jammed the Killer Ray Robot's button and fired a beam at Rebecca.

"KYAAAAH!"

The smell of grilled dried squid from a highway rest stop filled the air.

"That was a demonstration. All of you shut your mouths. Hands up."

"Why... why am I always the demonstration..."

Rebecca grumbled in an aggrieved tone, so I shot her again. I swung the robot's red eyes from Rebecca onto the other three, and they all fell into unison, raising their arms—or rather, their parrot wings—just as ordered.

"From now on, you do exactly as you're told and get the hell out quietly. Before I actually kill you."

I meant it. Everything these bitches had done to me. The fact that they'd hurt the kind Demon King. Not a single one of those things was something I could just let slide. When they'd been unconscious, I'd thought more than once about just killing them then and there. But that wasn't how the Demon King did things. This was her home, and in her home, we followed her way.

"...From now on, we do this the Demon King's way. Try anything stupid and I'll put a beam right through your forehead. Your call."

"You heard him? Kihihit."

"...Dongha. Do you even understand what you're doing right now? Consorting with the king of the demons—"

The beam incinerated the pointed wizard hat that was Dorothy's trademark.

"Answers in short affirmatives only."

"Yes!"

"Alright. Then, by the book..."

I stepped aside, and the Demon King walked forward from where she'd been watching. As usual, she reached into her pocket for the coin tied with string, about to wipe their memories—

"Alright. Everybody strip."

Ah. Right. She'd promised to make them clothes if they came.

"What?"

"Huh?"

"Excuse me?"

Three of them jumped at the Demon King's order.

"...Iiiit! Strip already. I promised my friend!"

The Demon King dashed over and grabbed Dorothy's robe.

"W-what! Dongha! What on earth did you promise her!?"

Dorothy's face went pale.

"Dongha! Even if you were curious about an elf's bare skin, this is too far! Has your human heart vanished!?"

Yuria's face went pale too.

"If someone's going to undress me, I'd rather it be Dongha."

Nine's face flushed red.

Like I give a damn, you morons. Whether these bitches got kicked out naked or not was none of my concern. Still, my eyes were precious, so I turned my head to avoid the strip show.

"Kyaaah! Please don't... did you see this coming?"

"That's our win, then?"

Dorothy's suddenly cold voice made me look back.

The former party members were already gone. They'd vanished along with motes of light.

"Ah!? They're gone!"

"...No way."

I'd only ever heard rumors. It was a banned item, illegal because of how often it got used for crime.

Damn it.

I'd let my guard down. Dorothy was the young lady of a rotten noble house. She must've had something stashed away in the family vault. And I'd never imagined these always-cocky, always-arrogant idiots would have prepared an escape route like that, no matter who they were up against.

"We have to go after them! The activation range on that thing isn't that wide!"

"R-right!"

If we let those bitches go, they'd run around telling the whole world how strong the Demon King was. And that would be the end of everything.

The Demon King and I sprinted for the entrance. Then we heard voices from the doorway.

We rounded the corner and found the escaped party members right at the entrance. Wait, they set their escape point here? That's a three-centimeter drop.

But as we got closer, the other three were surrounding Rebecca and raining curses down on her.

"You fucking idiot! There's a limit to how stupid you can be!"

"I can't stand this! I am done! You ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠rock-brained bitch!"

"I sincerely hope you catch some wretched disease and die! Is that imbecilic intellect of yours hereditary?"

What were those buddy-buddy morons even fighting about.

The Demon King blinked over to the noisy idiots, and all four of them jumped out of their ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠skins. The arrogance from a moment ago was gone without a trace; they dropped to their knees and put their hands up again.

"D-Dongha... please don't do this."

"Save it. Hand over that teleport item from just now."

Dorothy immediately pulled a ring off her ring finger and handed it over. Right—she'd been knocked out early, so her hands hadn't been turned into wings.

"Hey. Empty your items, you fucking bitches."

They still hadn't accepted their situation, moving sluggishly instead of snappy. I fired another beam at Rebecca, partly to set the mood, and that got them dumping their items in a hurry.

They were big shots, all right—the loot was packed with quality. The proportion of daily necessities had dropped sharply compared to when I'd been their Luggage Porter, though.

The Demon King, who'd been sweating bullets chasing them a moment ago, was now beaming as she brought over a wooden box, as if none of that had happened. The party members dumped everything they had into the box before another beam or a forehead flick could come flying. I'd check the contents later, after we sent them packing.

"That's everything? If I search you and find anything, that's one forehead flick per item."

"...Sorry. I've still got one more."

Nine, with sad eyes, pulled the wooden doll I'd made for her from her chest and placed it in the box.

"Who do you think you're pulling the heartstrings on?"

Nine tried a clumsy emotional appeal, so I shot Rebecca with another beam.

"KYAAH! No! Baek Dongha! Nine was the one who pulled out the doll! Why are you doing this to me when I was just sitting here!"

"Who told you to just sit there?"

"GYAAAAH!... *sniff*..."

Rebecca shed tears. So what.

"...Alright. Now strip, get your memories wiped, and get out."

The Demon King had been looking at them with clear distaste this whole time. She had a good eye, just like my friend should.

"...Th-that's..."

Dorothy hesitated, fidgeting. The worry on her face was unlike her.

"Spit it out."

"We can't leave anymore."

"...What?"

"Exactly what I just said. The entrance is blocked. We can't get out. Because of this blockhead twin-tailed bitch."

Dorothy glared at Rebecca with resentful eyes, then pointed toward the door. An angel-shaped totem, as if carved from opal, was planted there. A translucent barrier surrounded it.

I walked over and tapped it. It felt like thick bulletproof glass. The totem, of course, didn't budge.

"Let me try."

The Demon King clenched her fist and punched it.

...Whoa.

It was the first time I'd seen her throw a punch. The sound was so loud I thought the whole tower might shake. With punches like that, her character in Iron Fist must've been an absolute nightmare to go up against.

But the barrier didn't break. After that, the Demon King threw all kinds of disaster-class magic at it, but the barrier and the totem remained perfectly intact.

"...It's no use. A barrier raised by that totem will not disappear for a set duration, no matter what. It's an incredibly rare item..."

Dorothy, who'd gone pale at the Demon King's punch, spoke carefully.

What. What incomprehensible bullshit. Then again, this kind of trolling was usually Rebecca's handiwork.

"Why did you plant this? Don't even think about lying. Confess."

"...Well."

The whole sorry story of these morons went like this.

A man named Daniel had prophesied that they would die here. They'd been confident they would win, but Daniel's prophecy had nagged at them just a little. Dragging a bunch of backup along from outside, though, wouldn't do much for the strongest hero party's pride. So, just in case, they'd prepared a single emergency escape route.

They were so strong they never had a real opponent even when they fought half-assed, so of course the plan was sloppy as hell.

Anyway, the real problem was that they'd cooked up this garbage plan among themselves, leaving blockhead Rebecca out of it. Same as always.

"N-no! I thought you'd brought the totem so the Demon King and Dongha couldn't escape! I figured you'd forgotten, so I planted it at the entrance for you..."

"You absolute moron."

"KYAAAAH! Stop!"

Rebecca, hit by the killer ray, rolled around on the floor.

"S-stop it! The burnt smell is going to soak into the carpet!"

"You. You only lived because of my friend. Remember that."

So that meant we had to stay with these people a little longer?

...Ugh. I really, really don't want to.

"How long does the barrier last?"

"Well... a few days, but... I'm not exactly sure..."

Still on their knees, Nine, Yuria, and Dorothy put on their most pleasant smiles.

"W-well, nothing we can do, Dongha."

"Since it's come to this... I suppose we shall impose upon you for a few days."

"We'll stay quietly and then leave. Dongha."

"...Hah. Fuck."

I felt nauseous. My hand kept drifting toward the button on the back of the robot. I just wanted to blast them all to death.

...No. Hold it together. Leave it to the Demon King's choice.

"...What do you think of them?"

"I hate them. I hate them so, so much. More than the girls in Little Farm Village!"

"You heard her? Wipe your memories and get the hell out."

"That is to say... there is no way out, is there..."

Yuria tapped my shoulder with her hand... no, her wing. I slapped it away in disgust. A feather came out and drifted to the floor.

"What do you mean there's no way? Go out the window. You've even got wings. Flap hard. Or make a parachute out of a tablecloth. Not that I'm lending you one."

I said it, but it was a perfectly decent method. This way the Demon King wouldn't have to kill them herself, and she wouldn't have to see the bodies. More than anything, I was offering to put the trash back in the dumpster. What was the problem?

The three of ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠them, hearing my suggestion, immediately put on awkward smiles and tried to change the subject.

"Kyahaha~ as expected of you, Dongha. You're too funny...!"

"This is the stuff. The other new recruits just don't have this flavor."

"Dongha has become even more of a clever little thing while I wasn't looking. Haha."

The idiots forcing those smiles slowly lost them, their faces going stiff. They were starting to realize I was dead serious.