New Clothes Are Better, Old Friends Are Best (2) — Catfight?

"This is my friend."

The four of them stared at the Demon King as if she'd just grown a second head.

"What did you just say? Your friend? Did you say friend?"

"... Y-yeah. Friend..."

Dorothy's eyes went sharp as a wildcat's, and she pressed in hard. The Demon King answered in a voice that shrank smaller with every syllable.

"A friend? A nauseating demon — the king of demons, no less — just called a human her friend?"

"... B-but we are. We really are friends..."

"A girl with something wrong in her head, I see. Listen well. There is not a soul in this world who wishes you alive. Someone like you could never have a friend."

"... Uuuh... I-I mean it... we really are friends..."

This was the same Demon King who had swatted aside flying swords and dragons made of fire without breaking a sweat. Now she wilted under their contempt and hid behind my shoulder.

"Don't mind them. They're as dumb as a bag of hammers."

"... W-we're friends, right?"

The question she had asked me countless times in this castle. The thing she always needed to hear confirmed. I could answer it a hundred times. A thousand.

"Of course we are. Best friends."

The Demon King, who had been shrinking into herself, sprang right back to life.

"S-see! He said we're friends..."

"Shut your mouth, ugly."

Nine's bark flattened her all over again.

"... Uuuh. A-am I ugly?"

All crumpled up once more, the Demon King looked to my former party for an answer.

"Yes. You look exactly like a squid sundae. You've never even eaten squid sundae, have you? You beggar."

"Why tie your hair like that? Borrowing Dongha's words, it doesn't suit you for shit."

"What's that thing hanging off your neck? You look like those kids who walk around in soap-bubble hats. Try-hard cosplayers. Gross."

That's the Paper Crane.

"Those red eyes are disgusting too. I wanna gouge them right out."

"Hey, Rebecca. My eyes are red too."

"Sorry, Nine."

It didn't matter how vicious they got. I had my hands over the Demon King's ears.

"You don't need to hear that. Even if those four fused into one, they still wouldn't be as pretty as you."

The Demon King lit up and pulled me into a hug. The air around us seemed to freeze solid.

"..."

The four of them stared in silence. Then Nine reached back and drew the magic sword from its sheath, leveling the point at the Demon King.

"Disgusting, just as I thought. Let's just kill the demon already."

"Agreed. There's no value in keeping her alive."

"I shall riddle her like a honeycomb. Dongha, stand aside."

"Hey! Get away from Bamtan!"

They were coming.

Coming to kill my friend.

"... I'll go take care of this."

"... Don't lose."

"... Kihihit. Of course I won't."

The Demon King slipped out of my arms, turned her back on me, and walked out to meet them.

It would be fine, right? Just like always.

The fight dragged on.

It didn't end in an instant the way it had before. From the opening exchange, the shape of the battle was already different.

The moment combat began, Dorothy — who had felt that overwhelming tide of mana last time — threw a buff over the entire party that cranked their magic resistance to the maximum. Then she dropped a weakening curse on the Demon King that slashed her mana down to a fraction.

Last time, it hadn't mattered whether they stacked defensive buffs or piled on debuffs. A single spell from the Demon King had punched through all of it.

... Why? How?

This time, the Demon King's attack magic didn't land. They had forced her into a brawl.

Yuria's Swift Arrows came down like a rainstorm, screaming toward the Demon King's body. Each shaft missed by a hair-raising margin and buried itself in the black stone floor.

Last time, the Demon King had dodged on raw reaction speed alone. Now she was hitting her limit. She started using teleport.

She was panting. Hard.

I was losing my mind with worry.

What's going on? You dodged all of this so easily last time.

She tried to catch her breath for even a second. Dodging Yuria's arrows wasn't the end of it.

Nine gave her no room to rest.

"You're watching every single one and dodging? Not bad."

"... Aah..."

To my ordinary human eyes, there was nothing but afterimages. A blade tearing the air with a roar, moving at a speed that existed for one purpose only: to punch through the Demon King's body.

I had lived with her long enough to know. She wasn't playing around. She was genuinely being pushed.

Why?

Why? Why? Why in the world?

She had dodged all of this so much more easily last time.

When Nine's sword and Yuria's arrows had driven the Demon King into a corner, she teleported — right in front of Yuria's face.

... Yes!

In a fight, you take out the ranged attacker first. That's basic. But it's never easy, because the other side knows it too. So the Demon King had deliberately drawn Nine, the vanguard, as far into the corner as she could, then gone after the isolated Yuria. An archer had no close-combat ability to speak of.

"... Hmph. I knew it! Rebecca!"

"Sacrifice!"

The moment Yuria gave the signal, Rebecca the tank threw a protection spell over her. Sacrifice was a skill that took every hit meant for its target and dumped it on the caster instead — a perfect match for Rebecca, whose only real talent was being unreasonably hard.

... Won't matter.

That took care of Rebecca. Last time they'd stormed in, Rebecca had put that same spell on Yuria and eaten the Demon King's slap in her place. One hit had put her at death's door. I still remembered the whole party freezing at the sight of that boulder of a girl — who had never taken so much as a scratch no matter how hard she was hit on the entire journey — going down with a cheek swollen like a snakebite, out cold.

The Demon King slapped Yuria across the face. The sound cracked from Rebecca's direction, not Yuria's.

.... Thank god.

A little of the tightness in my chest eased. In a four-on-one, losing even one person was a massive blow to their fighting strength—

"Aaagh!"

Rebecca screamed.

And that was all.

... She tanked it?!

My heart dropped through the floor.

"Did she just say ow?"

My former party and I were stunned for completely different reasons. They were shocked because, in the entire journey, this was the first time Rebecca had ever reacted like something actually hurt. I was shocked because she hadn't gone down in a single hit the way she had last time.

Rebecca toppled over, clutching the cheek that had taken the blow in Yuria's place.

"... Ugh! So this is what hurting feels like! My brain's rattling around in there."

She was down, but she was only down for a moment. Holding her face. Conscious.

Something was wrong.

Dorothy's mana was stronger than last time. Yuria's arrows were faster. Nine's swordwork was sharper. And Rebecca was even harder.

Those monsters. Had they gotten even stronger in the time since?

... No.

A word I didn't want to think kept clotting together in my head.

Defeat.

Death.

I was more afraid than when Dorothy had cast that low-odds instant-death spell on me. More afraid than when Yuria had set an apple on my head and loosed an arrow. More afraid than when Nine had walked up to me in clothes you could see through.

Much, much more afraid.

"... That attack power is insane. Noted. Everyone stay out of range. We nibble her down."

The look in Nine's eyes changed the instant she saw Rebecca fall. She corrected the party's entire pattern on the spot.

Nine had never said those words and pulled the party back. Not once. And most of the things she'd said them about had ended up dead.

"A monster indeed. Time to change arrows. Poison."

Yuria swapped in shafts coated with deadly venom.

"I'll restrict her movement. Frozen Sea."

Dorothy laid ice magic across the floor, biting into the Demon King's bare feet. It didn't touch her own allies, of course.

"... Demon King."

I couldn't take the fear anymore. I called her name like a child.

"... Yeah."

In the middle of a fight that was grinding her down, she looked at me and smiled. As if to tell me not to worry.

"They're trying to kill you."

"..... Kihihit. I know."

"You kill them too. You have to attack like you mean to kill them."

"... I can't do that."

She'd said no, which meant nothing I said would break that stubbornness. I knew why she insisted on slaps and forehead flicks. The Demon King had never — not once — killed anyone.

Was it some kind of conviction? A promise she'd made to someone?

The truth was, I didn't want to see her kill anyone either. The thought of this kind, gentle Demon King taking a life and then carrying that guilt... I wanted no part of it.

But I couldn't let her die.

They're trying to kill you. And they're garbage the world wouldn't miss if they vanished.

"... You don't trust me, huh? Hehe. Just wait. I'll chase them off in no time."

"Please don't die. If it looks like you're going to, then kill them."

"..."

Blades cut the air. Arrows screamed.

The Demon King was soaked in sweat from head to toe. Her movements had slowed enough that even I could see it.

"... Uuuh..."

She was exhausted.

I clenched my fists. Sweat ran down my palms and pooled in the hollow of my hands.

"... Hah. She really does live up to the name Demon King. Didn't think she'd last this long."

"Right? And the power behind those hits is enormous. One clean shot and you're dead."

"She took a full dose of deadly poison earlier and she's still standing. Remarkable."

This wasn't a game. There were no continues. No coming back.

The Demon King was my friend. The friend I had been holding just hours ago. A living, breathing person who cried when she was hurt and laughed when she was happy — a friend overflowing with feeling.

If she lost, it was over. If she lost, she would die.

I had watched Nine kill people more times than I could count. Monsters, yes. Demons, too. If that ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠black-bladed magic sword opened the Demon King's throat, she would die the way all the others had died. Red blood pouring out of her.

... Die?

My friend?

The Demon King, dying in a fight?

And from now on I would never see her again?

"No."

I was coming apart. The word left me as a quiet mutter to myself. The fight didn't care. It went on.

"Press her before she recovers."

Nine gave the Demon King no room to heal, her blade hunting the girl's heart with obsessive precision.

And then—

"Aah! My Paper Crane...!"

A blade tore through the air.

Reddish drops of blood hit the stone and began to spread.

The Demon King's arm — the one she'd thrown out to shield the Paper Crane — had been cut by the sword.

"P-Paper Crane! Are you okay!?"

She didn't even glance at the blood running down her own arm. She was checking whether the Paper Crane had been torn.

...... Ah...

My throat closed.

The floor where she used to lie on her stomach, drawing pictures with worn-down crayons. The Demon King's red blood was soaking into it.

I couldn't think. I wished it was all a dream. If it had to be like this, I wished even coming to the Demon King's Castle had been a dream.

"Close."

Nine clicked her tongue, looking at a blade tip that had failed to find a vital point, as if she were merely disappointed.

"Uuuh... Thank goodness. It didn't tear."

The Demon King sagged with relief that the Paper Crane was unharmed.

The fight was about to start again.

No.

No.

"WAIT!!!"

I couldn't watch anymore. I shouted.

Nine, settling back into her stance. Yuria, drawing her next arrow. Dorothy, mid-incantation. Rebecca, still tanking the party's damage. The Demon King, turning the Paper Crane this way and that to make sure it was alright. All of them looked at me.

"I'll go back. Stop it. I'm begging you."

"... What?"

"I'll go back to your party. Let's go back to the way it was."

"..."

"I'll do everything you tell me to for the rest of my life. I promise. Please. Just stop attacking her."

"... Dongha? Are you crying?"

"...... I'm begging you. Please."

The ferocious battle cut out as if someone had pulled a fuse.

Nine slid her sword back into its sheath.

"..... Don't forget those words. We're taking Dongha and leaving."

"... Dongha. Come here."

"... Yeah."

Yuria beckoned. I walked toward my former party.

The Demon King didn't turn around. She didn't want to see me — the same person who'd teased her for being a crybaby every day — standing there sniveling.

"... One thing. Just one favor."

All four of them looked at me. I wiped my face and spoke.

"She's just a kid who lives here alone and farms. She doesn't know anything. When you leave, don't go around talking about her. That's all I'm asking. Just that."

"..."

"..."

"... Fine. Everyone keeps their mouth shut."

The other three nodded.

I walked ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠away from the Demon King.

Yeah. That was it, then.

I'd had more fun than I deserved, these past few months.

"Kihihit."

Her laugh came from behind my back.

"My friend's a crybaby."

"..."

She teleported, and then she was standing in front of us, blocking the path to the entrance.

"... What do you think you're doing?"

"You're not leaving."

The Demon King planted her hands on her hips, as inflexible as ever.

No. She was going to die.

"Hey, move. I don't like you anymore."

The lie that had always worked on her didn't work at all.

"Kihihit. Liar. Who'd fall for that? Your nose turned into a strawberry. Hehe."

"If you ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠don't move, I will cut you down. The next time I draw this sword, it does not go back in the sheath until your head is on the ground."

Nine's voice was ice.

"Nine! Just ignore her and let's go..."

I begged her. The Demon King's next words turned all of it to nothing.

"Mmmm, I can't give in this time either."

"That so? Then die."

Nine drew and lunged in the same breath.

There was no sudden twist. Reality doesn't work like a comic book. People don't just get stronger in a flash of light.

The Demon King was driven into a corner all over again, same as before.

"Nngh..."

I made up my mind.

I would fight with her. Scratch those bastards with my nails. Bite their ears off. Whatever it took. We would probably lose. I might die too. But that was better than standing here doing nothing, waiting for her to be killed.

Dorothy was right in front of me, dumping mana in every direction. I could see her ear.

If I was going to bite something anyway... like a crocodile plushie...

!!

A decent idea hit me. No — it was the only idea.

I forced my spent legs to move and ran.

"Huh? Dongha's running!"

"Focus on the fight! We can catch him after!"

I ran for the warehouse.

... This. This is it.

If this could buy the Demon King even a single opening.

I slipped back into the hall and lined up on Dorothy from behind. Whether this killed her or not, I didn't care. Watching her, she barely qualified as a person anyway — but the second I actually thought about shooting a human being, my hands started to shake.

I jammed the button down.

A killing beam lanced out of the light-ray robot and smashed into the back of Dorothy's head. She screamed and went down like a sack of bricks. Served her right.

"What was that?"

"D-Dongha! You used magic!"

The ones attacking the Demon King whipped around, eyes wide. It didn't seem to occur to them that the beam had come out of a toy.

Buffs or no buffs, the reason magic hadn't been landing was the curse on the Demon King. The robot sitting in that warehouse had just become a very effective weapon. The Demon King had modified the thing herself — it hit hard enough to damage even her own body.

"Y-you betrayed us!"

"Fuck off. When were we ever a team?"

I mashed the button and poured beams into those bitches. Never thought I'd see the day I'd be grateful to this godawful robot.

"Rebecca! Get that thing away from him!"

"On it!"

Rebecca came after me in a dead sprint, twin-tails flying. She was so fast I was about to get caught in seconds.

And then—

A bright little chime of magic. The Demon King turned Rebecca's arms into parrot wings.

Not just Rebecca. Nine and Yuria too — both of them flapping parrot wings where their arms had been. Apparently even the Sword Emperor and the Divine Archer couldn't fight with parrot arms.

"Kihihit. That purple girl's magic-blocking buff is gone, so I can turn all of you into parrots now."

With Dorothy out, every weakening curse on the Demon King and every magic-resistance buff on the party had vanished.

Rebecca stared at her brand-new parrot wings, completely blank.

"Die, you rock-headed bitch!"

I put a beam right in that stupid face. Being Rebecca, she only rolled across the floor. Unlike Dorothy, she didn't even lose consciousness.

"W-wow. That's my friend. So, so cheap."

"We're not done. Handle your side."

"Obviously! They do say if you tap a stone bridge before you cross it, a sunny day will come!"

Another proverb I had never heard in my life, mangled beyond recognition. Somehow, the sound of it steadied me.

"Right. I've got this side."

I held the button down and kept firing. Rebecca yelped, hopping as the beams seared her.

"Ow! Ow! Ah, that's hot!"

Once that ironclad shield named Rebecca was out of the way, the remaining two were defenseless.

The Demon King didn't waste the opening. She teleported to Yuria, seized her by the collar, and went to work.

"You wicked little knife-ears! What do you think you're doing shooting my carpet! And what's wrong with my tied-up hair! What's wrong with it!"

Slap. Slap. Slap.

Yuria went down in a heap. Next was Nine. In a close-quarters duel there was almost no one alive who could match her — but taking the Demon King one-on-one with no covering fire from Yuria was too much. She lasted only moments before the Demon King had her by the collar too.

"You're the ugly one! And you tried to stab the Paper Crane, didn't you? Squid sundae? I don't know what that is, but you're more of a squid sundae than I am!"

Slap. Slap. Slap.

The squid sundae line had been Dorothy's, not Nine's. Not that it mattered. Nine's eyes rolled back and she collapsed into a heap. The victory slaps rang out, bright and cheerful.

And it still wasn't over.

"Just you left, huh?"

Rebecca had been eating beams until the robot ran out of fuel, and she was only now getting back on her feet. Unbelievably tough, that one.

"... Hah. Fine. I'll admit it clean. Let's call it here."

Rebecca — whose entire skill set consisted of getting hit in other people's place and lying on top of people who were trying to sleep — started edging backward toward the entrance, all by herself.

"Where do you think you're going, you fucking bitch."

"... Wait, that's—"

"Play track four."

"... What? How dare you—"

"Demon King. Bite her."

"Okay!"

Rebecca danced all the way through the second verse, properly, and after that she took a fair and even round of slaps from the Demon King. She was so stubborn it took nine of them before she finally went out. Technically she'd gone down at five — except she hadn't. She'd been faking. If I hadn't checked, we would have been in real trouble.

The fight was over.

"Kihihit... nice wor— nngh."

The Demon King, beaming, suddenly swayed on her feet. She looked ready to drop any second.

I sprinted to her and caught her up.

"Hey! What's wrong? Hey?"

"..."

"..."

"... Uhohohot... Just kidding. You crybaby. Got you, didn't I?"

I almost hit her. She'd scared the hell out of me.

I checked her over anyway. I knew the healing magic had already closed everything, but that didn't change the fact that she had been hurt.

"You okay? What about the poison from earlier? Anywhere else you're hurt?"

I took her hands and shook them. Her face went faintly pink.

"Ah... yeah. I'm okay. The poison was already detoxed a while ago."

Good. Magic had handled all of it, it seemed. The poison too — already purified, she said.

But her expression was still off.

"... What is it? Is something wrong? Tell me."

A fresh spike of fear. Was there a wound that hadn't closed?

"U-um, so..."

"Yeah. Spit it out."

"When you... when you were leaving earlier... you said you didn't like me anymore... th-that was a lie, right? Right? Right?"

...

And here she'd been saying she wouldn't fall for it...

Yep. This was the Demon King I knew. The one I was so fond of. A total dork.