I Met a Goddess (1)
Tap. Tap. Tap tap tap.
Shaaaa— Shaaaaaaaaa—!
Is it raining outside?
The sound of rain pulled me from sleep. I reached for my phone on the pillow and checked the time. 10:35…. I’d slept plenty. Still groggy, I rubbed my face to chase away the drowsiness, performing the classic cat wash.
Rub rub. Rub rub rub! Meow meow! Meow meow meow meow!
Nothing beats the cat wash for waking up. Feeling much clearer now, I got out of bed and turned on the computer.
Click. Whiiiiir~
Starting the day without a quick fap just feels wrong. I sat down and opened the hidden folder I called “Ibis.”
What should I watch to kick off the morning…? Ah, this one’s perfect.
I dug out my favorite material from my Treasure No. 1 folder, tore off two sheets of toilet paper, folded them neatly, and placed them under the keyboard. Preparations complete.
Slide. Sliiide— I rolled up my shirt to my stomach and pulled down my sweatpants just past my knees.
Emergency faps are best done half-dressed. It’s the golden rule.
Slap slap. Slap slap slap slap— My trusty companion was already throbbing after just a few strokes. The moment I felt it coming, I snatched the folded tissue with my other hand and positioned it in front of the tip.
Spurt. Gush gush—
“Ugh… ngh… haa…”
I carried the cum-soaked tissue to the bathroom, dropped it in the toilet, took a refreshing piss on top of it, and flushed.
Whoosh. Shwoooooosh— Evidence successfully destroyed.
I stripped to shower and caught my reflection in the mirror on the wall. Huh…? Why the hell have I gained so much weight? I fap at least twice a day like clockwork, yet my body still holds onto protein like a damn fortress. I deliberately avoided my reflection, grumbling as I washed up.
This is how my day begins.
Shaaaaaaa. Shaaa—
“It’s really pouring out there…. I’m hungry. Guess I’ll have some ramen.”
I filled a pot with water, opened the cabinet above the sink, and reached for my favorite—Jin Ramen, spicy flavor. …Huh?
Grope. Grope grope grope—
“Dammit… no ramen left. And it’s pouring outside…”
I’d already jerked off, so I needed to replenish my protein. Better head out quick. Even though my eyesight is terrible, I refuse to wear glasses when I go outside. That’s my last shred of pride. Glasses stay at home. I have an image to maintain. I refuse to look like a pathetic nerd! Why did that stupid nickname even have to exist….
Scratching my head, I walked to the entrance, slipped on my sandals, grabbed the umbrella by the door, and stepped outside.
Shaaaaaaa. Plop— Plop plop plop—
Large raindrops hammered mercilessly against my umbrella.
“Ugh, it’s cold. Did I dress too lightly? Ah… I really shouldn’t get wet. If I’d known, I wouldn’t have showered earlier.”
Grumbling, I headed toward the nearest supermarket. I stopped at the crosswalk to cross the street.
A quick glance to the side revealed a little kid holding a clear white umbrella. The child seemed delighted by the raindrops hitting it, tilting their head up with a bright, innocent smile.
Must be nice….
I used to be like that once. Pure. Able to find joy in the smallest things…. Lost in thought, I waited for the light to change.
As I watched the cars pass, something strange caught my eye.
Clunk! Screeeech! Screeeeech—!!
A truck must have hit something because its wheels jolted, then it began sliding on the wet road, veering out of its lane and heading straight toward me. I looked up at the driver in shock.
Huh? Whaaaa—??
The driver’s panicked face, desperately yanking the wheel left and right, finally made the situation click.
“What the hell is that?!”
The realization that the truck might hit both me and the kid froze me in panic for a split second. The child heard my startled shout and turned to look at me with those pure, innocent eyes.
No, no no! Don’t look at me! You need to move right now!
The kid was too busy staring at my frightened face to notice the truck sliding toward us. Acting on pure reflex, I leaped sideways, scooped the child up, and shoved them out of the way.
Screeeech— Screeeeech—! Crash—!!
I have no idea what happened next. Everything went numb. I couldn’t feel my body. I didn’t feel like myself anymore.
Uh… the truck was coming… I pushed the kid away…. Did it hit me?
In my hazy state, I opened my eyes. People were gathered around, shouting and murmuring.
“That… no, this is…!!”
“119…! Hey ma’am! Call….”
I couldn’t make out a single word. The old me would’ve thought screw it, every man for himself and run. But when it actually happened, I ended up saving a kid I’d never met and dying instead. You really don’t know until you experience it yourself…. At least it doesn’t hurt. That’s something.
I wonder if the news will run a story: Self-proclaimed dating master and BJ dies saving a child…. Please don’t expose my personal info…. Wait, why am I worrying about that right now? Sorry, fellow incels…. But at least the guys who got girlfriends because of me shouldn’t badmouth me….
As if signaling that my time had come, my life flashed before my eyes. Every fap session. Every jerk-off. Every single time I’d masturbated. No matter how far back I looked, there was no sex in my life. Fuck, this can’t be—! I can’t die like this…!
“G-gotta… get a… girlfriend…”
In my delirium, a girlfriend I’d never met waved at me from afar.
Is that you, my destined one?
Have you come to greet me? My love, my looooove— The illusion vanished in an instant, as if to say as if.
Yeah, figures.
Damn it…. Dying like this is just too unfair. Too mortifying.
Everyone knows getting hit by a truck sends you to another world, right…? Please… please let me….
“S…ex… seggs… seeeex… s….”
“Where the hell is that ambulance?!”
“I think this guy’s saying ‘sex’?”
Those were the last words I heard from the crowd gathered around me like I was some spectacle.
And then I died.
How do I know I died? Because I’m currently looking at myself. What the hell is going on…?
“Greetings, prospective Transcendent. The lofty will you left behind in your dying moments has been engraved upon the world, allowing you to achieve transcendence.”
The moment I registered the voice, a woman I had never seen before stood before me. What… what the hell? How can a person be this beautiful?! Goddess. No other word came to mind.
Scratch scratch scratch. Blink blink— I rubbed my face roughly and blinked hard. With a much clearer mind, I stared at the woman in front of me.
Whoa… she’s real. Pure. Elegant. Graceful. And in the span of seconds, that beauty somehow became sexy. Seductive. Mature…. The woman before me embodied every possible form of beauty I could imagine.
Her white, form-fitting slim dress clung to a body that proudly displayed an impressive chest. Despite her slender frame, her breasts and thighs possessed a voluptuous, sensual allure that made my balls—which shouldn’t even exist anymore—feel like they were shriveling up.
Wow…. No matter how many times I look, she’s insanely beautiful. Can a person even be allowed to look like that? Well, she probably isn’t a person.
Overwhelmed by the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen, I clasped my hands together politely in front of my crotch as if to hide my reaction.
“Um… prospective Transcendent? Who are you?”
“I am the Will of the World.”
“Will of the World…? Just ‘Goddess’ is fine, right?”
“I am not a goddess, but you may call me whatever you like.”
“Got it, babe.”
“…….”
The goddess’s gaze, which had been expressionless, now carried clear emotion—chillingly cold.
“You said I could call you whatever I wanted, so I just… I’m sorry….”
My pathetic personality hadn’t changed even after death.
“But why did you call me a prospective Transcendent?”
I asked carefully, watching her still-freezing gaze.
“In the moment of your death, your will reached such lofty heights that it was engraved upon the world, allowing you to achieve transcendence.”
I looked back and forth between my crushed body under the truck and the goddess, tilting my head in confusion.
“Transcendence…? Me? Lofty heights…?”
Did I ever have anything like that? Excuse me, I think you’ve got the wrong person.
“Prospective Transcendent, for thirty-six years you maintained your virginity and performed rigorous training of both body and mind without missing a single day.”
“Being a virgin was training…? Ah… it was hard, but… that is… um….”
I scratched my head while answering her.
I had no idea what she was talking about. What the hell does that even mean?
“You were a practitioner who accumulated karma by repeatedly ‘filling’ the body and ‘emptying’ the mind every single day without rest. And in the moment before death, the karma you had built over a lifetime, together with your will for sex, was engraved upon the world, granting you the status of a Transcendent.”
“Ah… filling… and emptying…?”
Wait… is she talking about jerking off?
The goddess crossed her arms, pushing up her already impressive chest as she spoke. I had nothing to say.
“…….”
Fuck.
“Becoming a Transcendent… is that what I think it is? Am I… becoming a god?”
“Correct. However, your status is incomplete due to a contradiction. While your body and soul were separating, the lofty will that even overcame death should have elevated you to the divine throne and granted you a divine name befitting that status, but… you are still a virgin.”
Fuck, that damn virginity is still clinging to me even after death.
“Y-yes… I am a virgin….”
She definitely came to the right person. Haha.
“Originally, the will for ‘sex’ that you cried out as you died should have transcended your status and granted you the divine name of God of Sex. However, since you have never had sex, and the karma you accumulated was not from sex but from self-comfort, the contradiction has limited you. Instead of a complete Transcendent, you have achieved the status of a prospective Transcendent.”
So what? What am I supposed to do about it? Still, God of Sex sounds so damn cool! I should’ve gotten that title—!!
I hid my jealousy behind a calm expression and asked, “Then… what happens to me now?”
1. Virgin God
2. Sex God
3. Dimensional Transfer
“You are given three choices. First, although you should have become the God of Sex through your lofty will, the contradiction of never having had sex means you can ascend to the divine throne as the Virgin God based on the karma you have accumulated.”
Virgin God…? I’m going to become the Virgin God?!
Fuck, why don’t you just write “virgin” on my forehead while you’re at it.