I Met a Goddess (2)
I died a virgin and now they're mocking me for it? What the hell… And even if I become a god, so what? If my divine name ends up being Virgin God, the other gods are going to laugh at me for the rest of eternity. Every time I make a friend up there and they greet me, it'll be all, "Hey Virgin! What'd you do today?" Is that the kind of life I'm signing up for? Goddamn it…
Just imagining my future as the Virgin God made my legs give out. I dropped to my knees with a dull thud. The crushing weight of self-loathing pressed down on me from every direction. I clutched my head in both hands, fingers digging in hard.
No. No no no…
Still… I was a god now. There had to be some perks compared to being human. There were other options. I should at least hear them out. It wasn't time to give up yet.
"Goddess… haaa… If I accept the name Virgin God and ascend, what exactly would be better about it than being human? What kind of life would I live up there as a god…?"
For some reason, the goddess didn't answer right away. She averted her eyes, as if reluctant to tell me.
Huh? Why is she avoiding my gaze?
What was going on? After a moment, she finally looked at me again with clear, steady eyes. There was a flicker of pity in them.
"A solitary divine existence."
"……"
"Prospective Transcendent, the Virgin God title becomes unstable the more you associate with the opposite sex. Should you ascend, you must be extremely careful not to mingle with them. Especially… if the Virgin God engages in sexual intercourse, your divine seat will be revoked. You will lose your divinity and memories and be reincarnated."
"……Ha."
Seeing my face harden, the goddess quickly continued as if making an excuse.
"Five hundred years ago, there was a sage who devoted his entire life to becoming the God of War. Somehow he qualified for the Virgin God seat, but he ultimately gave it up and chose reincarnation instead."
God of War—!! Damn, that sounds awesome!!
I didn't even have a goal in life, but that guy had trained his whole existence for it. The self-loathing must have been crushing… Wait, no. This wasn't the time to be sympathizing!
"Next option! Tell me the next one! Quickly! Right now!!"
"The second choice is the divine name 'Balls God'."
?? Did I hear that wrong?
It felt like my ears were playing tricks on me. I tilted my head and tapped my ear with my palm, then dug into it with a finger.
"What did you say??"
"Balls God. As in, the God of Testicles."
"It sounds like you just insulted me… Did I hear that correctly…?"
I already knew she hadn't actually cursed at me. But still… this couldn't be right.
The goddess gently shook her head at my question.
"It is not an insult. The divine name is indeed Balls God. To explain the divinity: it is granted to one who has repeatedly filled and emptied their balls without rest, training day after day until they reached the threshold of transcendence."
"……"
"To be honest, this is the first time I've seen the Balls God title. So there really was a seat like that… How fascinating."
Fascinating? First time seeing it? Give me back my excitement… I wasn't happy about becoming a god anymore. Not even a little.
Snap—!
The goddess flicked her fingers as if she'd found the perfect match.
"As the Will of the World, I can see that this divine seat suits you best, Prospective Transcendent. While the Virgin God loses their divinity upon sexual intercourse, the Balls God is permitted to engage in it. However… each time you have sex, one hundred years' worth of self-pleasure training karma will be deducted."
Ha—?? One hundred years? No, sex wasn't even the issue here. I wanted love too… In my previous life, even if my girlfriend said she loved me, waiting two years for her boyfriend to finish military service felt impossible. Who the hell would wait a hundred years just to sleep with me?! One hundred years of jerking off for a single round of sex? What would I even watch for a hundred years? Could I peep on the goddess? Just hearing the title sounds like absolute dogshit. And if I get caught, won't I die? Ugh, this really is the most balls thing ever.
"Um… I have a question. If I have to wait a hundred years of masturbation for one session of sex, what happens if I have sex before those hundred years are up?"
"Divinity revocation."
Ah, right. I figured. I really did expect that… But still, this is too much! Why is this happening to me…?
"No way… Excuse me. Whether it's the heavenly realm or the immortal world or whatever, if I go up there it'll be full of gods. Who would sleep with me when my name is Balls God?! No one would touch me!!"
Would you sleep with me? Huh?? Would you do it with the Balls God—!!
Wait. As I spoke, a sudden thought occurred to me.
Maybe…? Could it be? Really? Was it possible?
The thought made my heart flutter with excitement. My dick unconsciously tried to get hard… It twitched pathetically. Shh—! Stay down. Even if you get hard, no one can tell anyway.
"By the way… what kind of rank does the Balls God hold among the other gods? I've never heard of or even imagined a name like this before… Is it actually really powerful or something? Do the others look up to it? Maybe?"
"It is the lowest-ranked divine seat."
"……"
"Ah~!"
Wait, did she just remember something about the Balls God?! Did it finally click—!!
"Its rarity is the highest. Across countless dimensions, no one has ever obtained this divinity before."
"Yeah, I'm not taking it~ Pretty sure they didn't obtain it because they didn't want to. I'm not doing it either."
The goddess narrowed her eyes at me, whether annoyed by my refusal or by my increasingly curt tone, I couldn't tell.
"Then, for the final option, there is dimensional travel."
"Oh… That sounds way better than becoming either the Virgin God or the Balls God! I'd rather live in another dimension. Please explain."
"Dimensional travel is a choice for souls who have reached the threshold of transcendence. They reincarnate as a 100% soul-compatible clone in a parallel dimension to train and obtain a different divine name or rank."
"A clone…? I had clones?!"
"Beyond countless dimensions exist parallel versions of yourself with 100% identical soul composition. If even one of those parallel selves reaches the rank of Transcendent, all the others instantly become mere clones. Only the one who obtained transcendence is considered the '[Original].' The moment the Original reaches that rank, all the scattered parallel clones disappear. Their souls merge into the Original, forming a single, complete soul worthy of transcendence."
As I parsed the goddess's explanation and began to understand, a new worry suddenly hit me. What if I went there, stayed a virgin my whole life again, transcended, and ended up with either Virgin God or Balls God anyway?
"Um, Goddess? What kind of world is this parallel dimension?"
"Parallel dimensions are both the same and different. Given that your will regarding sex has connected you to one of the many dimensions where your clones reside, it appears to be a world where you can fulfill your desire for sex as you wished."
"What?! You can have sex there?! Then… does that mean I can fall in love and date too?! Finally, me too!"
Yes! A huge grin spread across my face as I thrust both arms into the air.
"Ah— Then I have to go! I have to gooo—!!"
But there was a problem. I didn't want to think about it, but I had to ask…
"Goddess… is the clone of me in that dimension… the same as me? I feel a bit… embarrassed saying this, but… you know what I mean, right?"
The goddess nodded as if she had seen straight through my concern.
What did that nod even mean? What exactly did she understand? Should I thank her for understanding? This was bittersweet…
"Currently, all clones across every dimension are on standby for extinction to complete your perfect soul. Among them, the three clones connected to your will in the relevant dimension have appearance compatibility rates of 90%, 50%, and 10%. You may choose one of them."
"The higher the compatibility rate, the more they look like me?"
"Correct. The higher the rate, the less dissonance you will feel when merging with the clone, and the easier the adaptation will be. The lower the rate, the more difficult adaptation may become due to that dissonance. I recommend the 90% clone."
What the hell was she saying? I'd lived with this face for thirty-six years, and every time I looked in the mirror I thought it had to be a nightmare. It wasn't just unfamiliar—I felt outright rejection every single time. Let's think this through… If lower compatibility means the clone looks less like me, then the 10% one would be almost the complete opposite of my current appearance, right?
Wait. This? This right here?!
Suddenly, something clicked in my head like a light switch turning on. I reached a single, brilliant conclusion.
The opposite of ugly is… hand. some!!
I was so happy and excited I had to cover my mouth with both hands.
This was it! This was perfect!
"Whoa… This is it! When a shit car leaves, a new car arrives! The 10% clone! Definitely 10%!!"
I'd almost screwed myself over. If I hadn't realized the other clones were landmines, I would've been doomed. Adaptation be damned—if it was 90% compatible, it'd probably just mean slapping on some BB cream and hair wax and calling it a day. Then if I transcended there, I'd be stuck with either Virgin God or Balls God for sure. No way! I still had a brain, after all.
The goddess crossed her arms, her expression making it clear she found my happy little delusion utterly distasteful. Even her pouty face was beautiful.
"Dimensional travel selected. Clone compatibility rate of 10%. Do you consent?"
"I consent! Send me right now!!"
"You have consented to dimensional travel. I will now transfer your soul to the connected dimension. Please invoke your will, Prospective Transcendent."
"Invoke my will…?"
"Recall the moment of your death. Remember the powerful will that allowed you to transcend the threshold and become a prospective transcendent. When that invoked will connects to the linked dimension, the transfer will occur."
Hooo… I let out a deep breath to calm my nerves. I closed my eyes. Just as the goddess instructed, I summoned the intense personal will that had brought me to the threshold of transcendence.
Girlfriend. And…
"Sex!! Sexxxx!!! SEXXXXXX!!!!!!!!"
With that shout, I felt my body float up into the air. And then……