Even a 36-Year-Old Virgin Can Become a God
Principal Cha Ae-rin was straddling my hips, slamming her thick, juicy ass down with powerful force. Schluuurp— Plop!♥ The warm, sloppy entrance of a woman swallowed my cock whole. Slap— Smack! The sound of her plump rear colliding with my pelvis mixed with wet, obscene smacks—smack, smack, squelch, squelch, squelch!♥
"Ahnng—! Haaahng…!"
"No—!! Ugh—! My precious first experience—!! This is my first time—!! Nooooo—!! Fuck—!! Fuuuuck—!!"
I lay pinned beneath her voluptuous body, desperately shaking my head and begging her to stop….
…What the hell is this situation?
Just two days ago, my daily life had been completely ordinary. I wasn't even a supporting character—I was the kind of person who couldn't even qualify as an extra. That was me.
That day had started like any other. But after that, my life became anything but normal. I had become the protagonist.
I had wished for something special, sure. But I never asked to become this kind of special.
God damn it….
Broadcast starting.
The stream went live. Subscribers and viewers who had been waiting for the alarm poured in all at once. The chat window exploded with activity in seconds.
On screen, I appeared wearing the mask that covered everything from the middle of my nose upward, staring at the chat.
"Hey everyone, long time no see! Sorry. The girl I'm seeing lately is super clingy… She gets anxious that I'll meet other women if she leaves me alone, so she's been stuck to my side almost every day. I haven't had a chance to turn the stream on."
I lowered my head and let out a heavy sigh. Shaking my head, I continued with a voice full of exhaustion.
"It's draining me emotionally too… I have zero personal time, so I ended things with her today."
I folded my arms. The moment I started the stream after so long, someone immediately jumped in with a consultation. I paused for a moment, thinking.
I run a channel called SexTube Love Master under the username LoveBro. True to the title, I act like someone with endless dating and sexual experience, giving advice and counseling to people struggling with the opposite sex.
Whether it was because I was good with words or because my "experienced" advice actually resonated, what started as casual chatter with just two or three viewers quickly grew through word of mouth. Now, a year later, I was a popular BJ who got thousands of viewers the second I went live.
Honestly, it was starting to feel like a burden.
I felt guilty toward the people who took my every word at face value, and that pressure weighed heavily on my shoulders. Forcing myself to act casual, I kept reading the chat and continued.
"Handsome, is your girl pretty?"
I stroked my chin for a moment before answering in a calm voice.
"Hmm… From my experience, if the girl you're talking to is actually pretty, it's better not to compliment her appearance before you start dating."
Chat messages filled with confusion shot up rapidly.
"Don't you think she already knows she's pretty? If she's heard it a million times, she'll just assume you're only interested in her face. The prettier she is, the more effective it is to compliment things other than her looks. If she's beautiful, wouldn't everything she does look good anyway? In that case, try calling her cute instead."
I shook my head.
Not everyone likes being called cute.
"Compliments are their own category. If she sees herself as sexy, calling her cute goes against the image she's trying to project, so it can bruise her pride a little. But if you call an obviously sexy woman sexy? That's just stating the obvious. There's a difference between saying something obvious and saying what she actually wants to hear."
Chat exploded with messages agreeing with me, saying it made perfect sense.
After glancing at the rapidly scrolling chat, I spoke with absolute confidence as if every word came from personal experience.
"In those moments, instead of just saying 'you're pretty,' try something like 'You're beautiful, but I like how straightforward you are too,' or 'You look sexy, but there are times you seem really cute.' Combine what she wants to hear with the charm you actually see in her. It's obvious, but not too obvious. That's the key."
After finally streaming again, I interacted with the viewers, gave advice, and felt a warm sense of pride watching them agree and praise me.
None of them here would ever guess.
My so-called "experience"… was all imaginary.
In other words, women to me were just 2D characters on a screen. The only "dating experience" I had was from visual novels.
Would anyone watching right now ever guess?
A thirty-six-year-old lifelong virgin. That was me.
Sigh… No wonder the more popular I got, the heavier the burden felt.
When I thought about my real life, the sighs came naturally. I'd realized long ago that romance in this life was a lost cause… but maybe in the next one?
My face could generously be called plain, but most people would say ugly first. On top of that, my male hormones seemed to be working overtime—my skin was covered in acne. If my skin had been clear, I might have at least been average-looking. Unfortunately… my skin was ruined too.
Some might think, Can't ugly people date too? Sure, but who would confess to an ugly guy first? I'd have to make the first move, but… I had no confidence.
The biggest problem that had buried my self-confidence in a 100-meter underground bunker was my "tiny thin premature" package. Small dick, thin girth, and premature ejaculation. What the hell, man… How can a guy who's never even had sex know he's a premature ejaculator? You just know. When I'm in good condition, I finish in three minutes just from jerking off. The moment I put it in, I'd probably cum instantly. Being ugly was bad enough, but an 8cm dick? For real? Even if it was 8cm, people say that's enough to do everything, but it's also thin. Short and thin? Come on. Shouldn't the thickness make up for it at least? Damn it. It's thinner than my thumb even when fully hard… I want to cry. I really want to cry.
I don't even have the confidence to approach anyone because of my face, and thinking about my dick makes what little confidence I have completely vanish. Is there any woman out there who could like someone like me? No. Could someone like me even deserve to like a woman?
The only things remotely passable were my height—173cm, which I could stubbornly claim was average for a man—and my clean lips since I didn't smoke. Thankfully there were no pimples around my mouth, so I could show my lips on stream while wearing the mask.
Back when I was in high school, I was proud that 173cm was average male height, meaning I was at least in the middle. These days they say 175cm is the average. Are humans evolving or something? Why does the average keep going up…?
Delusion mode: activated. If I had only jerked off once a day to preserve my protein, maybe I could have grown taller than 175cm. But… I couldn't give up both day and night sessions! To be honest, I didn't just do it twice a day. When a man gets horny, you know? You get it, right?
Lately I'd been busy preparing for employment… and I failed. I got all excited during the interviews saying this time would be different. I guess I just have no shame. I didn't learn anything useful, didn't have any certifications, and even getting a part-time job wasn't easy.
The one thing I could take pride in was how much I'd studied dating. I'd read countless books and absorbed insane amounts of information. Yeah. I knew a lot. You think it's weird to study something like that? There was just so much to learn.
When I saw how much money streamers were making these days, I started a personal broadcast pretending the dating knowledge I'd learned from books was all from my own experience. I figured it might work online. And then people actually listened to my advice, followed it, and got girlfriends? Even though I was a virgin? That's when I realized how insanely detailed my virtual dating simulations were. Honestly, I never thought anyone would actually follow the bullshit I was spouting. But they did. It actually worked…
But how long could I keep lying about who I really was?
The more popular my channel became, the heavier the burden grew. What if people found out that I was actually a basement-dwelling, glasses-wearing, acne-covered, fat virgin? …What if I got sued for fraud?
Because I was scared of getting caught and sued, I couldn't even spend the money I earned from streaming. As more and more people tried to find me online, the pressure grew until I started streaming less and less. I stayed home, pretending to be busy meeting women, pretending to have plans. In this place, everything about me was pure pretense from start to finish.
"Alright! I'll take one last consultation and then end the stream! It's getting late… You know how it is. Now that I'm single again, I've got to go enjoy the night."
Oh, perfect timing. See? All that studying wasn't useless after all. I once read a book that covered various kinks, positions, and techniques. To understand spanking, I had even slapped my own ass. I hit it… and got hit? What else was there…? It hurt my hand and my ass when I did it hard… I don't know. I really don't know.
Still, in this space I was the Love Master. I closed my eyes as if recalling a memory and began packaging a memorable post from an expert on spanking as if it were my own experience.
"For spanking beginners… it's natural to feel that way. You need to change your mindset. Don't think of it as hitting your girlfriend. Think of it as giving her ass stimulation. When you spank her, focus on that moment when her pussy suddenly tightens and grips your cock. If you concentrate on that feeling, before you know it you'll be slapping her ass with both hands."
I glanced at the chat flying up the screen and maintained a calm expression that said this was nothing special to me. Staring at the camera, I delivered my closing line.
"That's what I did."
Did today's consultation help at all? You guys should get out there and date a lot too. Now… it was time to return to reality.
"Thank you all for coming today! I hope my words were helpful! Have a great night and great sex, everyone. See you next time."
Broadcast has ended.
After confirming the camera was off, I removed my mask. The feeling of returning to bleak reality washed over me. Helplessness and emptiness hit me all at once.
"Fuck… I want to date too… If even one person would truly love me, I'd give them my body and soul!! Ha, I want to love. I want to have sex! But not just anyone… that won't do!"
Yeah. No matter how desperate I was, it couldn't be just anyone. After all, I was a thirty-six-year-old virgin. My first time should be with a woman I love! Even a lifelong virgin has his principles.
It wasn't that I hadn't had the chance to have sex. Well, it was true I'd never dated anyone. If I just wanted sex, there were always places like brothels. But once you stay a virgin past thirty, your first time stops feeling like something you can do with just anyone.
I knew that a man's first time didn't have much value, but to me right now, it was everything I had. Being a virgin at this age… as I kept trying to give it meaning, it somehow became my one and only unique value that others didn't have.
Therefore, even if I wanted sex, I couldn't do it with just any woman. I had kept my virginity all this time so I could do it with my future girlfriend… How meaningful was that? If I did it with someone other than the woman I loved, it would be denying my entire life up to this point.
Even if I wanted sex… I had to endure it. So I could do it with the first girlfriend I loved….
Sigh…
Having organized my thoughts, I moved the mouse to open my "Gamauchi" folder to suppress the desires rising within me once again.
Click. Click-click—
"Guess I'll jerk off and go to sleep. Fuck, I hope I at least get a girlfriend in my dreams and have some crazy-good sex."
Slap. Slap-slap— Slap-slap-slap—
I started my vigorous full-body workout while watching porn. To release the desire that had built up and overflowed. For a lively man. For a healthy man. It was the only full-body exercise I did more than twice a day while stuck at home.
"Kimmo~ti~ Ahn, Kimmo-sshi~♡"
Fap fap fap. Fap fap faaap fap fap—
People who call masturbation "wrist exercise" clearly haven't reached my level yet. Having jerked off every single day for thirty-six years without missing once, if I had a title it would be Masturbation Master. If the deep and wide world of masturbation was a fantasy world, I would be the Grand Master. A seeker who walked a straight path his entire life. A great sage who had mastered the principles of the world.
"Aaaahn♡ Kimmo-ti… Ya, yametekk! Yamete kudasaiii!!"
Slap-slap-slap. Slap-slap-slap-slap-slap-slap—
As I continued, sweat began forming at the top of my head and flowed down my forehead.
"Hoo… Hoooo…."
Squeeze. Sqooeeeze. My sphincter repeatedly tightened and relaxed, performing contraction exercises. The reflexive Kegel exercises caused sweat to pool between my buttocks.
Someone who had reached the master's realm didn't just twitch a little when the urge to cum arrived. My toes would curl up, accompanied by intense contractions.
Today as well, I attained enlightenment. For a man, one masturbation session was exercise enough.
Slap-slap-slap. Slap-slap-slap-slap—
Lost in a trance, shaking vigorously, the urge finally hit me. I grabbed a tissue.
Guess it took about three minutes today? Pretty average condition.
As my whole body grew languid and my mind became clear, the moment my reason lost to desire passed. Paradoxically, I would gain a clearer understanding of the world's principles than ever before. This awakened state of mind was what the entire world called "sage time."
Thirty-six years of a life spent solely on the path of day faps and night faps. As a lifelong virgin, I lived these repeating days.
Describing my life was simple. A life that began with jerking off and ended with jerking off. Becoming a cold, rational sage, I fell into a deep sleep and listened to the voice echoing from within.
I want to date. I want to love. I want to have sex. Someday, I too…
At that time, I had no idea.
What kind of life I would end up living from now on….