A Loner's Disqualification as a Human Being (2)
The school erupted into chaos because of me. It was only natural, really. A guy who'd just come back from the bathroom staggers into the classroom with blood dripping from his head—nothing could've drawn everyone's eyes like that.
"What happened to you?! Are you okay?!"
I Seol, our homeroom teacher, rushed over to me, her face pale as a ghost. Her voice echoing in my head made it hard to even stand properly. But for some reason, this pain felt almost welcome right now—a relief, even. Better than lusting after the girls in my class.
"What happened to your pretty face?! We need to get you to the hospital right now!!"
I Seol frantically pulled out her smartphone and dialed someone. I wondered who it could be, but the moment the classroom door flew open and Dad came rushing in, it hit me.
"Sua! Are you okay?!"
Dad barreled toward me, panting heavily. He placed his hands on my shoulders, scanning every inch of my body with trembling eyes, looking as fragile as I felt—like he might collapse any second. My head was still dazed and spinning from slamming it against the wall, but I didn't want to worry him more. With shaky hands, I laboriously scrawled on my whiteboard.
I slipped and fell in the bathroom.
"What?! You need to be more careful!!"
"Ehehe…."
I grinned up at Dad like it was a habit now, beaming straight at him. Fake a smile like this, brush it off, and parents—or most people—let it slide, reassured. A cute girl's smile was a weapon that bought trust so easily.
Dad bought my lie hook, line, and sinker. He carefully scooped me up and hoisted me onto his back. It had been years since elementary school that I'd ridden on his back like this. Now that my body was like this, his back felt huge—much bigger than it looked.
"Why didn't you go to the nurse's office and come straight back to class…?"
"Ah… uh…."
Dad's voice was laced with worry, but all I could manage were babyish gurgles. In a situation like this, unable to speak, the frustration of not communicating gnawed at me. I went limp, resting my chin on his shoulder. With every step he took, drops of blood from my forehead splattered onto his shoulder. His crisp suit shirt started staining red.
Ah… That's the shirt Mom gave him when he started his first teaching job…
He'd always insisted on wearing that one, cherishing it. Even stained with my blood, Dad didn't seem to care, just kept walking forward.
"Worried about the shirt?"
My vision blurring, I stared blankly at his shoulder, and Dad noticed. He spoke softly.
I nodded silently, lips pressed tight.
"My kid's hurt—what good's a shirt? Just lean on me comfortably…."
"Uh…."
Hearing him call me "son" while looking right at me, even now—it felt like his way of comforting me through the confusion of becoming a girl. Watching him like that made me feel so small and pathetic for lying… I couldn't lift my head.
**
"S-Sua! Is your head okay?!"
The moment we got home, Mom rushed over, her face on the verge of tears. Dad must've called ahead on the way, because she'd been waiting anxiously. Sure enough, she gently touched my cheek, her eyes welling up.
"Ehehe… hehe…."
"Please… can't you stop forcing that smile and brushing it off?"
"Eh…?"
Her words slipped a dumb sound from my mouth before I could stop it.
"You think we don't notice? Lately, whenever you dodge like that, you flash that smile…."
"……."
I looked back and forth between Dad and Mom in shock. Dad was avoiding my eyes, silent. He'd known too, every time I smiled it away, but pretended not to notice.
What… you guys knew all along?
"Is your head really okay? You said you fell in the bathroom…."
It's just a little cut on my forehead. I'm really fine.
"Really?"
I couldn't meet Mom's eyes as she kept pressing.
"You're not lying again, are you? I'll forgive anything… just tell us honestly…."
"Uh, uhh…!!"
Mom clasped my hand gently, pleading earnestly. Facing her worry-filled face was too much. I hesitated for seconds. But could I really tell my parents the truth?
That's why Yeonseo unnie wanted a private consultation…
Only now did I realize her consideration. Talking sex with parents took guts like no other. And thinking back to the bathroom made my body itch again—I didn't want to relive it. A basic human urge, sure, but way too overwhelming and scary for me.
No way I can say it straight…
"E, ehehe… hehe…."
"……Yeah, it's too hard to talk about, huh…."
I forced a grin, but my eyes twisted it into something ambiguous—not quite a smile, not a cry. Suspicious from every angle, Mom's worried gaze didn't let up.
I'm so tired. I want to rest a bit.
I dodged with "I'm tired," bolting upstairs without looking back. I felt their eyes on my back, but I couldn't turn around.
"Oh? You're back? Heard you got hurt at school?"
Up on the second floor, I locked eyes with Sis at the worst timing.
"Eek!"
No time to think. I flung open my door to escape her.
"Where do you think you're running?!"
But physically outmatched, as she strode over and grabbed the door before it could close.
"Ugh! Eek! Eeeeek!!"
"You… you've gotten so weak…?"
I poured all my strength into shutting it, but she just gave me a pitying look. Staring at the unmoving door, I faced the reality: girl body, weak strength.
"I'm coming in?"
Sis said curtly, then waltzed in without permission, as usual.
This is the worst. Where's my privacy?
Frustrated, I scribbled angrily on the whiteboard. Sis glanced at it, smirked, and pinched my cheeks, yanking them side to side.
"Is that how you treat someone who's worried?"
"Auuuuugh!!!"
Pain shot through my cheeks; I flailed my arms wildly. My sulky reaction must've irked her—her grip had real force. Tears pricked my eyes.
"Were you up late because of my stream yesterday?"
I winced, eyes watering, and she finally let go.
"Uwugh…!"
I rubbed my throbbing cheeks, avoiding her gaze.
"That reaction just now? If I'd shown it on stream, chat would've exploded calling you cute."
What's your business?
"Feisty today…."
Sis scanned my face casually, then flopped onto my bed, rolling around and messing up the neatly made covers—like it was hers.
Ah… I just wanna lie down and rest…
I narrowed my eyes, glaring at her from afar. She caught it, flashed a sly grin, and patted the blanket invitingly. Like, lie down next to me.
She'd always loved skinship—wrestling moves, pranks—but this time, I hesitated, wary of getting close. I backed away carefully.
"What happened at school?"
She nailed it, seeing how suspiciously distant I was.
"……."
"Looks like you didn't tell Mom and Dad either?"
My shoulders twitched at her spot-on guess. She narrowed her eyes, convinced.
"I can at least hear you out? Must be something you can't tell parents."
Could I really tell Sis what I couldn't tell Mom and Dad? I groaned, rolling my eyes, too embarrassed to meet hers.
"Argh! Just spit it out already!"
Unable to stand my agonizing silence, she got pushy. Once she started sulking like that, stopping her was tough.
Fine, whatever!
I gripped the marker with trembling hands.
Sis, have you ever masturbated?
"……Huh?"
It was just a moment. But the silence between us stretched endlessly.