Loner's School Life
Two months had already passed since my discharge from the hospital and holing myself up at home. When Mom saw me bursting into a nosebleed while wearing my school uniform, she seemed to think my body was reacting first because I wanted to go back to school. Things flowed that way, and before I knew it, I was pushed into a counseling session with Dad. In the end, we decided I'd return to school.
Even now, as I prepared for my first day back after the trouble with my brother, I stared anxiously at the girl's school uniform hanging on the rack, my expression full of doubt. It felt like my relationship with him was drifting further apart with every passing day. Even during normal family chats, the moment I got close, his face would harden coldly in an instant. Lately, I was the one avoiding him first because his reactions scared me. That icy gaze of his was terrifying. It affected me more than I expected. When he was nearby, I couldn't even voice the things I wanted to say. Amid my fading confidence, worry started to creep in. Will I be okay at school? Will I get looks like his again? The fear kept my hand from reaching for the uniform on the rack.
"Sua? You all ready?"
Dad's voice, thick with concern, came from outside the door. It was still early for heading to school, but because of some personal procedures, I had to go in earlier than usual today. I hesitated at the sound of his voice but eventually gave in, taking the uniform off the rack and laying it on the bed.
In the end... I have to wear it...
"Ugh..."
I lacked confidence for my first day, but more than that, my hand wouldn't go near the brand-new bra I'd bought but never worn. Not knowing how to put it on was one thing, but the bigger issue was the prickling discomfort at the thought—like it stung just behind my back. The mental resistance to wearing it sober was huge. Compared to the women's underwear I was already wearing, its shape felt glaringly alien. Staring at it, I even wondered if it would fit my body at all.
If it rubs my chest, it'll hurt! And school's starting next week anyway! You think I can go braless?!
Why did Sis's shocking words pop into my head right now, of all times? With a serious expression, I picked up the bra in front of me.
...How the heck do you even put this on?
This was tricky. Panties were simple—just step in and pull up—but this was different. I'd never worn anything like it in my life, so of course the method felt awkward.
Arms through, hook it over the chest?
I went with that simple idea, slipping it on however felt right.
Then close it like this?
Mom and Sis had kindly explained it beforehand, so I at least remembered the basics in my head.
"Eek! Uwugh!!"
But trying it for real, I forgot how and struggled. The hook on the back was out of reach, so I twisted awkwardly, grunting.
"Eek?!"
I lost balance while fumbling for the hook and fell backward, banging my head on the bed corner. It hurt like hell.
"Kyaa! Hic, heeek!!!"
In my underwear, I writhed on the floor, clutching my head and moaning.
"Why are you taking so long... What are you doing?"
Sis barged in without knocking, and I scribbled my message on the whiteboard to show her. The throbbing pain made tears flow nonstop.
Being a girl is hard.
"So what you're saying is... you don't know how to put on a bra?"
I nodded seriously.
"Puhahaha! Oh man, my stomach! Ahahaha! That's why you're squirming around in your undies? This is gold!"
I was dead serious, but Sis laughed so hard tears streamed down her face as she clutched her belly. My half-naked struggling must've looked hilarious.
"Haa... s-sorry. But this is straight out of a manga for me too. Experiencing it for real is kinda funny."
Not funny...
Somehow, even preparing for my first day felt off-kilter. Can I really adapt at school?
"Don't be nervous... We've handled the basic procedures first."
Dad gave a light smile as he sat me in a chair in the middle of the teachers' office. Apparently, it's pretty rare for parents to teach their own kids at the same school. There's this thing called superfici prohibition or whatever, and legally it's not easy. But I was an exception. From the moment I got gender transformation disease, I'd already been getting special treatment. What Dad and I didn't know was that the disease is so rare, there's a special provision for accommodating patients.
To think I'd really end up at Dad's school...
I still couldn't quite believe it, sitting blankly in the chair, watching Dad fiddle with papers while exchanging light morning greetings with his colleagues. It was the first time I'd seen him at work. At home, he was just an ordinary dad, but seeing him here in the office like this made me think, Yeah, he really is a teacher.
"Teacher, is that your daughter sitting there?"
"She looks too young for a high school uniform, doesn't she? She's really seventeen?"
"......"
"Ahahaha... Embarrassed? Why so quiet?"
My body trembled slightly. Cold sweat trickled down as I desperately averted my gaze. I was terrified they'd react like my brother, on the verge of tears. I could handle family fine—except him—but strangers? No way. Even though I'd stubbornly insisted to Mom and Dad that I could do it despite their worries...
"Hic..."
My vision blurred bit by bit, breathing grew hard. My head spun like motion sickness, nausea surging. I must've looked anxious just sitting there, because Dad finally stood up from sorting papers.
"Teacher, maybe that's enough... Sua?"
I grabbed Dad's sleeve first. I didn't want to trouble him here.
I can't speak.
"Ah... R-right, sorry about that."
At my response, the teacher grabbed the attendance book in a fluster and hurried out. The room fell quiet in an instant.
"I heard your kid was sick, Teacher..."
Teachers who'd been watching from afar started gathering around Dad, one by one. I felt their pitying glances flicking toward my face. Please don't look at me like that. Outside family, I couldn't trust anyone.
"Sua, right? Your dad doesn't talk much about home."
"He's the quiet type outside of work."
"......Isn't saying that in front of the kid rude?"
Dad, silently sorting papers, shot them a look. That one line shifted the mood; the teachers apologized and scattered to their tasks. Dad at work carried real weight, unlike at home. His crisp, efficient movements even reminded me of my brother somehow.
"I Seol Teacher. Please take good care of Sua..."
"Oh, this is the kid you mentioned? Kim Sua, right?"
A young female teacher preparing work in the corner approached, repeating my name. From the vibe, she seemed like my homeroom teacher, so I nodded quietly.
"You're really his daughter? How could he keep such a pretty girl a secret!"
Her bright smile and self-paced energy felt just like Seo Yeon Sis.
"I Seol Teacher... As I always say, save personal talk for outside."
"Ahaha, is your dad that stoic at home too?"
The question bounced to me, now naturally sitting beside Dad. Not knowing what to say, I wrote the first thing that came to mind.
He's kind.
Too scared to meet eyes, I hid my face behind the whiteboard as I showed it. Dad's eyes widened in surprise.
"S-Sua..."
"What do we do! She's too cute!! Your wife has British blood, right? So Sua, you're a quarter mix?"
She seemed to know a bit about our family, asking me directly. Well, with my Eastern features and blue eyes, it was bound to intrigue.
"I Seol Teacher."
"Ah... Got it! No more personal questions."
At Dad's short call, I Seol Teacher paused like she'd caught his hint, then slyly took my hand.
"Eek...?!"
Why grab my hand all of a sudden? Her baffling move drew a short whimper from me.
"I'm your teacher here, but outside, call me unnie like a big sis!"
With that, I Seol Teacher led me to the classroom where we'd spend the days ahead together.