On the Road to the Capital (2)
The words barely made it out of my mouth.
“…Hail… to the… Empire…”
“You look like absolute hell. When exactly are you planning to die?”
Eryk asked while staring straight at me. I tried to answer that I wasn’t going to die, but—
“Ugh…”
Thud!
I collapsed face-first onto the ground. At this rate, I really was going to die.
“Haa… haa… I’m… not dying.”
“……”
Eryk frowned as he looked down at me. The expression on his face—like he’d just seen something disgusting—dug deep into my already fragile heart. After staring at me with clear disdain for a moment, he let out a heavy sigh, bent down, and placed his hand on my fallen head.
“…Lieutenant Colonel… what are you doing…?”
“You’re not burning up. Can you stand?”
“…Yes.”
I answered and tried desperately to move my legs, legs that refused to obey. But no matter how hard I pushed—
“Ugh…!”
Thump!
I only managed to fall over again. My tailbone was really starting to hurt.
“…Haa… Are you really supposed to be a hero? You can’t even stand up by yourself.”
It’s all because of you. I wanted to snap back at him, but I no longer had the strength to argue. My mental state wasn’t healthy enough for that anymore.
“…I’m sorry.”
“…What?”
“I’m sorry… for being trash… for being useless…”
My mind had completely broken. I looked up at Eryk with unfocused eyes and spoke in a hollow voice.
“…I think… I’m really going to die now…”
“Valentine?”
“Ugh…!”
I vomited up the food I’d eaten that morning. The meal had been tormenting me because I couldn’t digest it without blood. Just seeing it made another wave of nausea rise.
“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry… haa… I can’t digest anything…”
“……”
“Ugh… huu…”
I kept bowing my head, desperately fighting back the urge to throw up. My upper body, which I’d barely managed to keep upright, began to sway violently. The dizziness was so bad I thought I might lose my mind—
“…We’re going to be late.”
“…?!”
“What’s wrong?”
“L-Lieutenant Colonel?”
Suddenly Eryk slid his hands under my legs and behind my back. When my eyes widened in shock, he looked at me as if asking why I was so surprised.
“…If we’re late because of you, I’ll be in danger too. So just bear with it for a bit.”
“…Thank y—”
“Don’t assume you’re the only one who hates this position. It disgusts me to the point of wanting to die too.”
I had been trying to thank him, but before I could finish, Eryk looked at me with a face that genuinely screamed revulsion. Thanks to that, the words of gratitude never left my mouth.
Ah, so this man really does find me so repulsive he can barely stand it.
The thought alone drained what little spirit I had left.
“……”
“Well? Answer me.”
“…Yes. Understood.”
I forced myself to ignore both Eryk’s gaze and the stares of the surrounding soldiers, pulling my cap down low over my face.
Eryk was stunned.
Valentine had suddenly turned into a wreck and begun tearing herself apart with self-loathing.
…Did I go too far with my words?
No, I’d spoken the same way I always did. Was her mind so shattered that she was reacting like this? Or had she always been this hurt and simply never shown it before?
I should apologize…
But before Eryk could offer any words of apology—
“Ugh…!! Uweeegh!”
Valentine began emptying her stomach. Her complexion looked slightly better, yet her pupils were trembling violently.
“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry… haa… I can’t digest anything…”
After saying that, Valentine puffed out her cheeks as if trying to hold back another surge of nausea, then collapsed onto the ground.
“Ugh… huu…”
She kept bowing her head over and over. The sight of her desperately checking whether she’d dirtied anything filled Eryk with overwhelming guilt.
He no longer felt any hatred.
Valentine no longer looked like a mere vampire to him.
…Damn it.
Eryk grimaced at the thought. Had he misunderstood her? He could sense her spirit completely crushed. He wanted to tell her it wasn’t true, but after everything he’d done, the words wouldn’t come.
Valentine’s head drooped lower. She could no longer support even her upper body. Her eyelids fluttered as she teetered on the edge of collapse. Seeing her like that, Eryk felt a powerful urge to protect her.
“…Let’s go.”
Eryk, get a grip…!!! Please!!
Ignoring the instinct screaming at him from within, he lifted Valentine into his arms.
Her body was unbearably, unbearably cold. He could feel her thin, frail frame trying to pull away from him as if rejecting his touch. At the same time, Eryk himself felt a strong wave of revulsion.
The moment he held her, the fact that Valentine was a vampire was seared into his mind once again.
Yet even then, he couldn’t let her go.
Hatred was slowly creeping up, but guilt and pity blocked its path. At the same time, something new stirred inside him—something so faint that Eryk himself didn’t notice it.
Then Valentine fidgeted awkwardly, clearly about to offer her thanks.
…If I let her thank me now…
Would he truly forget his hatred and his family? Would he start thinking that vampires deserved to live? The fear gripped him.
In the end, Eryk followed his instincts.
Hurry, push the vampire away…!!
This is the only atonement you can offer your family, your comrades, your subordinates, Eryk…!!
He spat out the words before he could stop himself—words meant to humiliate and torment Valentine once again.
Her head dropped with a dull thud, the thanks she’d been about to speak dying on her lips.
“…Yes. Understood.”
Her voice trembled with something like resentment. Hearing it, Eryk frowned, weighed down by a crushing sense of sin.
When we climbed into the carriage, Eryk gently set me down on the seat beside him. I’d expected him to throw me, so I was relieved. I let out a ragged breath.
The dizziness was overwhelming. If the carriage started moving like this, I had no idea what would happen.
…Someone save me.
The thought that I might actually die this way crashed over me. I didn’t want to die. If only I could drink blood. If only I could eat properly.
“…Please… save me… Anyone… please…”
In my hazy state, I began begging for my life. But no one answered. I was simply dying slowly.
And then the carriage started moving. My dizziness doubled.
How long had it been since the carriage departed?
I kept groaning in agony. No one helped me. Because the only other person here was that damnable Eryk.
I forced my heavy eyelids open and looked at him. He sat with his arms crossed, face twisted in a deep scowl, staring out the window.
…You bastard. You’re the one who did this to me… At least say something if you’re going to help.
A surge of resentment rose inside me. He was the one who had cursed me. Wasn’t he the reason I’d ended up like this? Yet here he was, arms folded, glaring at me like I was some hideous thing he wanted to kill.
The fact that he was the only person who could help me right now was utterly miserable.
“…Please… help me. Please……”
I reached out toward Eryk, begging for help, but—
Rattle!
Thud!
The carriage suddenly lurched violently, throwing my body toward the edge of the seat. I lost my balance and tumbled onto the floor.
“Ugh…!!”
“Are you all right?”
“…Haa… I’m… dizzy……”
I couldn’t get up from the floor. There was no strength in my legs. So I crawled toward Eryk.
“…Lieutenant Colonel… Just once… Please save me just once…”
“……”
Begging for my life from this irritating, hateful man felt utterly pathetic. Tears threatened to spill. My usual emotionless mask had already shattered. The face Eryk was looking at now was probably one on the verge of sobbing like a child.
Still, it didn’t matter. If it could stir even a shred of pity in him, if it could make him let his guard down for even a moment—
I want to live…
I couldn’t die here. Not after coming this far.
I tried to push myself up with my arms, but they only trembled and refused to listen. My arm slipped again. If I fell like this, my chin or face would slam into the carriage floor and it would hurt like hell.
The moment I closed my eyes to brace for the pain—
Grab!
“Eek?!”
A hot warmth spread through my arm as someone’s hand gripped it tightly and pulled me up.
“…Major. Do you want to live?”
The owner of that hand was none other than Eryk. He frowned as he asked if I wanted to live. I nodded desperately at him.
I wanted to live. I wanted to live so badly it drove me insane.
“I want… to live… Please……”
When I answered, Eryk’s face twisted. He touched my lips.
“Sharp.”
He pulled my lip down to check my fangs and let out a mocking laugh.
“So this is what you used to kill so many lives all this time?”
“……”
“…How utterly disgusting.”
With those words, Eryk moved his hand to the back of my head.
“…?!?!”
“Bite.”
“Mmph…! Mmmph!”
“…You don’t want to bite?”
He forcibly pressed my face against his neck. Just before my teeth could pierce his throat, I barely managed to resist.
“…W-What are you doing…!”
“Bite.”
“…Pardon?”
“…If you want to live, bite me and drink my blood.”
The expression on Eryk’s face as he said that looked somehow sorrowful.
“Ugh!”
He pushed my head forward with one strong hand. In the end, my fangs sank into his neck.
…It’s delicious.
For some reason, Eryk’s blood tasted incredibly good. I drank it again.
“Haa…! Hup! Hup…! Delicious…. So delicious……”
I couldn’t think straight. I mumbled incoherently as I sucked on his blood. I don’t remember what kind of face Eryk made while watching me.
But one thing was certain. The moment I drank Eryk’s blood, my heart pounded so wildly it felt like it would explode.