The Road to the Capital (3)
The carriage rattled noisily along the road to the capital. Outside, dark clouds had gathered at some point, casting a gloomy sky that looked ready to unleash rain at any moment. Eryk stared at those heavy clouds with a furrowed brow when he suddenly felt a burning sensation.
It was the feeling of blood being drawn out—the same horrific sensation he'd experienced as a child from a single vampire. It spread from his neck and collarbone throughout his entire body. Hot. Chilling. But then there was the sensation of moist, cool lips. It completely paralyzed Eryk's thoughts.
"Hah... puha...!"
Valentine was breathing roughly as she indulged in his blood. It was starting to make him dizzy. At this point, he didn't even need to force her head down anymore—she drank on her own. Watching her, Eryk frowned. Images of his family flashed before him. His father, mother, and younger sister screaming, wailing, shedding tears. Those scenes were still vividly burned into his eyes.
But at the same time, the small woman right in front of him came into focus. Her face was etched with exhaustion from all she'd endured. A strange scent of cigarettes tickled Eryk's nose. This woman who wriggled so desperately, filling her hunger. Looking at that precarious flame of life, Eryk furrowed his brow.
Was what I'm doing truly the right thing?
At the same moment, an indescribable tenderness welled up inside him.
"...Valen...tine."
Suppressing the creepy sensation, he called out to Valentine, who seemed to have lost her reason as she greedily drank his blood. She looked up at him with trembling pupils even as she continued making those wet sucking sounds. He'd thought she'd completely lost her mind and was simply enjoying the blood, but—
"...Are you afraid, officer?"
"...!!"
Valentine's hands were shaking. It was as if she was trying her hardest not to press too close to him. She seemed to be making every effort to keep her body away. Her trembling eyes and hands proved it.
"I asked if you were afraid."
"......"
Valentine lowered her head without a word and stared at him. Even then, she was still tending to his bleeding wound.
"...Is the blood... enough?"
When Valentine didn't answer, Eryk frowned and asked again. The response that came was—
"I'm... sorry."
"......"
"...I'm sorry. Without any restraint... to dare drink my superior's blood."
Seeing Valentine apologize like that, Eryk couldn't say anything. Her breathing was ragged, perhaps from entering an awakened state after drinking blood. Her hair was a tangled mess, and she could barely control her own body. Looking at her, Eryk felt—
...Damn it. My heart.
His heart rate was shooting up like crazy.
Eryk realized that the emotions he'd been suppressing—pity, guilt, and the hatred beneath them—were starting to show their faces. To stop them, he tried to treat Valentine harshly again, but—
"...Haa... haa."
"......"
The small vampire was trembling, not knowing what to do. Eryk couldn't do anything about it. What should he say? How should he comfort her? Had she been hurt by his forceful methods of trying to keep her alive? He couldn't understand himself for forcing her to drink blood when she felt such extreme guilt and pain every time she did.
"If... you're feeling dizzy, please tell me......"
Valentine said this while looking at him with concern. Seeing her like that, Eryk sank into deep guilt.
...What the hell have I been doing?
How terribly had he treated this fragile, small person all this time? What had he done to a being who was consumed by pain every time she drank blood?
But the words of apology wouldn't leave his mouth. There was no way to resolve his guilt. The massive hatred, the vengeful spirits of his family, the screams of his comrades all sealed Eryk's lips. It felt like a lock had been placed on his mouth. That's why the apology wouldn't come out.
So instead, Eryk decided to explain to Valentine why he'd acted that way.
"Major, I told you. After the war ends. That I'd kill you then."
"...Yes?"
Eryk glared at her as he spoke. The moment he did, Valentine's usual blank expression had already shattered long ago, revealing a rich array of emotions. The expressions on that beautiful face were fear. And guilt. And melancholy.
Seeing her like that made irritation surge through Eryk. Why did such a small child have to suffer so much?
"What that means is, until the war ends. Don't die."
"...I... remember the order."
"...Good. That's fortunate."
For a moment, silence filled the carriage. Eryk was the one who broke it.
"Major, I hate vampires."
"......"
"I have no intention of apologizing for what I've done to you so far."
At those words, Valentine's eyebrows trembled. Her usual poker face was nowhere to be seen.
"...However, my request that you not die until the war ends is sincere."
"I... see."
Valentine answered with her head lowered. Watching her, Eryk struggled to hold onto his hazy mind.
"I have no intention of dying either... I'll struggle desperately to survive even after the war ends. I want to live out my later years in a quiet place, carrying the share of my fallen comrades as well."
As she said this, Valentine gazed out the window. Eryk couldn't understand what there was to see in that gloomy view outside that made her stare at it so intently.
"...I'm changing the order."
"......"
"Until the war ends, please... survive."
"Isn't that the same as before?"
Looking at Valentine as she said that, Eryk spoke with a blank expression.
"...It's not an order. It's a request."
"...?"
"Please. Live for me."
"......"
Valentine looked at him as if she couldn't understand. And Eryk himself couldn't understand what he was saying. He simply turned his gaze away from her and stared at the raindrops that had begun to fall, pattering against the carriage.
"...I'm sorry for forcing you to drink blood."
"You're apologizing for that?"
"Shut up. Weren't you hurt?"
"...No... I, thank you."
As she said that, Valentine also turned to look at the rain beating against the window.
"I mean it."
Valentine, who had somehow returned to her blank expression, said this. It was a frighteningly cold, emotionless face. Only then did Eryk realize why her blank face had always irritated him.
"...You know, I really don't like it when I can't read your expression."
"...I'm sorry. As I said before—"
"Survival strategy. I know."
Eryk let out a small chuckle as he said this, then glared at her.
"Can't you stop doing it in front of me? It feels like I'm about to say something harsh."
"...It's not something I can control, so it might be difficult."
Watching Valentine as she spoke, Eryk continued.
"Is there something even a soldier can't do?"
"...No, sir."
As she said that, Valentine touched her face, trying somehow to change her expression. Seeing this, Eryk was startled and quickly added that he was joking.
"...You really do have a way of making every single action of yours get on my nerves."
"......"
"Well, that's just like you, so stay that way."
Eryk asked for forgiveness from his family in his heart. He shed tears for his comrades and begged their forgiveness.
...Someday, I will definitely kill her with my own hands.
Please, just until then, allow me to enjoy this small bit of happiness. Praying like that, he simply stared blankly at Valentine as she leaned against the window, gazing at the rain.
"...I wonder why."
Inside the carriage where Eryk had fallen asleep. I stared blankly at him and muttered to myself.
He was definitely, definitely an annoying man. He was the one I needed to be most cautious of. So why was only Eryk's blood so sweet?
It was terrifying. When his large hand had forcefully pressed my head down, demanding I drink. Even while drinking, I was so afraid I would lose my reason. That's why the palm of his hand that kept pushing the back of my head whenever I tried to stop was so frightening.
I didn't even have the strength to resist due to lack of nutrients. So I had no choice but to indulge in his blood. And the more I drank, the more I found myself getting drunk on Eryk's blood. I was afraid of myself, losing my reason and turning into a monster.
Just as I was slowly losing consciousness, I heard Eryk's voice.
"...I asked if you were afraid, didn't I?"
Because I was afraid, my body reacted, and my reason returned. I looked at Eryk, who had saved me. Red bite marks remained around his mouth. I'd stopped the bleeding, but that sweet scent of blood still lingered inside the carriage.
"...Hold it together, Valentine."
I wrapped my arms around myself as I said this. I'd drunk quite a lot, yet for some reason, just looking at Eryk made my body itch. Convinced that I was craving blood again, I turned to look out the window.
The scene outside was a complete mess. Not a single blade of grass could be seen on the barren ground as raindrops fell like the heavens shedding tears.
"...I'm sorry."
I whispered this to the souls sleeping in that ground. Please, please forget the smell of gunpowder and blood there, and be happy.
"Whether ally or enemy... may all those who were brainwashed and suffered find peace."
As I said this, I stared blankly out the window. The rattling of the carriage. The sound of rain hitting the windows. The cigarette scent clinging to my clothes. The smell of gunpowder embedded in the earth. The sound of my racing heartbeat. Eryk's soft breathing. They filled the entire carriage.
How long had it been since the war began that my heart felt this calm? I stared blankly at the man who had made me strange. Staring blankly at this truly annoying man, I whispered.
"...Thank you, Eryk."
To my annoying superior, the one I couldn't stand to look at, I whispered with my heart full of dislike. He probably wouldn't hear it in his lifetime. Thinking that, I smiled faintly. Though the face reflected in the window was blank, as if hiding my true feelings.