The Juttak Bestows 'Cola' Upon Us (2)
Another peaceful day in the Eokgal. In this empty space, a pointy-eared woman lay sprawled out, rolling around idly as she scrolled through the gallery posts.
As usual, she made a post.
They shitpost every damn day, these humans dare to ignore me, and they even argue back against what I say! Humans really deserve to die~eyoung!
The one operating as 'Jokgan Hak-salja' in the Eokgal was a certain shit-stirring gallery denizen. With her signature '~eyoung!' speech quirk, she frequently showed her human-hating side.
At a glance, it seemed like she harbored some deep resentment. But in reality, it wasn't true hatred for humans.
"Haa, there's really fuck-all to do. If I don't pull some attention like this, there's nothing..."
It was just boredom.
Of course it was. Everyone else in the gallery was probably the same as her. This place was truly empty—nothing to do but gallery shit.
"Kyaaaaang!! So frustrating!!! Why the hell did I press that button back then!!"
Her name was Silvia. Born in the World Tree's forest on the Typan Unified Continent, she was once called the greatest elf in history. Her mere existence had kept humans from daring to encroach on the World Tree's forest. She was known as the guardian of the World Tree, dignified and renowned.
But naturally, she had her own hardships.
Elf lifespans were impossibly long. Their days felt like human years.
That was the problem. Already burdened with an eternal life, she had to play guardian forever—endless tedium in the World Tree's forest, constantly summoned by wrinkly elder elves. As the continent's protector or whatever, she was stuck handling all the annoying crap, living a busy life.
That's when she'd started hating humans—they were the biggest pains in her ass.
Now, she was just numb to it all. As long as this persona killed the boredom, fine. But if she had to pick what she hated: humans, and old wrinkly elves.
Silvia lay flat on her back, staring blankly at the sky, muttering.
"Just 100 years. No, 1,000 years of rest—that's why I pressed it. Who knew it'd turn out like this..."
It promised eternal idleness, nothing to do but chill. So she'd pressed it—and ended up here.
She figured "lifetime" for humans was about 100 years tops. No eating, no shitting, no bodily functions here. Only gallery posting. Without this attention-whoring, she'd go insane for sure.
"Haaa... So fucking bored. Even for an elf, 200 million years is too much...!"
She was having her usual boring day when—
Juttak 'Kim Eok-bung' has entered.
She bolted upright.
"Oh, what? A Juttak showed up?"
When was the last time she'd seen one? So long ago, time had blurred it.
"Right, no time to waste."
So glad you're here~eyoung! But Juttak, what's your race~eyoung? You're not human, right? Not human, not human, definitely not human?
Replies poured in instantly after posting—all trash-talking her. Silvia watched with utter indifference. Like she'd said, this attention-whoring was just to kill boredom...
"Hah, what the fuck! You wrinklies are the ones ruining elves. Who's dragging who down?"
Forgetting she was over 200 million years old, she gleefully trashed other elves.
Still pissed, she tried baiting the new Juttak.
She expected a reaction from the Juttak, but got nothing but silence. Disappointed, her face fell.
Then—
The Juttak Market has been reactivated.
◈ Price: 6 coins each
The market for trading goods between gallery users and the admin. Even she, who'd been around a while, hadn't heard this in ages.
"Cola, huh? What's that?"
Come to think of it, a previous Juttak had sold weird stuff before. Juttaks came from worlds unlike their Typan Unified Continent—and each from different ones.
"Probably the same this time. What was it last? They vanished quick, memory's fuzzy."
Oh yeah, some weird talisman. Supposed to bring luck or something. Rare chance to buy, so most grabbed it—but mostly useless junk. She'd bought one 30,000 years ago, carried it around, then lost it. Same end for most.
"Edible this time? Curious, but not dying to try..."
She checked the posts right away. Others must be buzzing too.
And there it was.
(Glistening Cola's Appearance.jpg)
This doesn't make sense. Whether humans or some higher being made it, this is revolutionary. That sharp carbonated sting flowing down your throat with one sip. The unique sweetness and refreshment as it hits your stomach. The rich aroma filling you up. Meant to just sip once, but it's almost gone already. Even my first elixir wasn't this good—tears won't stop. What life have I lived till now? My potions were trash. Compared to this greatness, mine were sewer water. From now on, I'll call this Satan's Phlegm. Thus, the Juttak is a god. Worship. Cola. Or rather, the Juttak.
An over-the-top praise post for cola—no, the Juttak. He rarely posted; usually just comments. For him to gush like this...
It sparked interest in cola.
"...That good?"
She eyed the cola on the floor. Red and white surface, mystery script in the middle—probably "cola."
"Ah, cold."
Pressing it to her cheek brought long-forgotten coolness. Gripping it chilled her hand.
How good could this tiny thing be? Looks-wise, meh. But that post nagged her curiosity.
"How do you even eat it? Post first."
Eokgal's hot topic cola! I bought it too~eyoung! Jealous? Tough, can't share~eyoung! But anyone know how to eat it~eyoung?
No one spilled how to eat it—just ruined her mood. If you're jealous, just say so.
She fiddled with the cola, pondering, when—
"Hm? In that guy's pic, the lid's open?"
Like the photo: pull the tab on top, hole appears.
Chiiiik— pop!
"Ooh! Awesome! I'm a genius!"
She puffed up proudly.
Chiiiii— Bubbles popped like boiling lava.
Expectations high, she peered in slowly.
"...What. Looks like sewer water? Really that good?"
No hype. Color sucked, couldn't imagine the taste.
"Ugh, can't back out now. Gotta try."
She brought it to her lips, sipped slow—real slow.
Gulp— gulp—
That moment.
"......!!!!"
What was this sensation? Body floating, euphoric high. Tingles from head down spine to heels. Stress vaporized. Just pure body bliss. Slumped, mouth agape, grinning like an idiot.
"Hehehet..."
"Kuhuh. Hehehe... Tasty..."
Meanwhile, watching this, I was speechless.
"...Well, shit."
I'd spread dopamine. To folks locked here for thousands—no, tens of thousands of years, clueless about it. Just wanted to introduce it. Hoped cola would bring a sliver of joy. Ignite the dull gallery.
That's all.
(Juttak holding cola amid raging bonfire logs.jpg)
This fucking cola—more?? Holding breath till you give more ffs
"We're fucked."