The Juttak Bestows 'Cola'
The 500-Million-Year Button. One of the topics that once set internet communities ablaze.
Press it once, pocket 10 million won each time. In exchange, spend 500 million years alone in an endless void.
After those 500 million years, your memories reset, and you return to reality. Insane, right? Torching half a billion years for pocket change. Who in their right mind would actually do it? You couldn't stay sane that long anyway.
Press and you're an unpaid slave Juttak for 5 years straight. Tactical nukes raining down—you get collateral with everyone, no thanks, even get flamed for sucking. Anyone up for it?
Everyone's reaction was negative. Even the Juttak didn't deny it was unpaid slavery. Hell, they were threatening suicide right now. No wonder it baffled me.
"What's wrong with being a Juttak?"
The view before me now. Dual monitors with five tabs open, deep in gallery browsing.
"Irresponsible even as a Juttak. Tsk tsk."
History Gallery, Plant Gallery, Humor Gallery, Insect Gallery, Baldness Gallery, Bald Treatment Gallery, Bald Meds Gallery, and more. To meticulously read every daily hate post, dual monitors weren't optional—they were mandatory. Sleep around two hours a day, drop at least three hate posts per gallery. If anything, more Juttak-like than a real Juttak. Just another day in the life of a gallery addict.
I was combing through galleries like always when it hit.
Congratulations! You have been appointed manager of the 500-Million-Year Button Gallery.
Will you accept the manager position?
"...What the hell is this? 500-Million-Year Button Gallery?"
A bizarre ad popped up on screen, crammed with black-suited dudes jamming buttons like some miracle sword scam. Dead center: a guy passionately shoving a button—the exact red one from that hate post.
Press instantly to become an unpaid Juttak for 500 million years!
No hunger, no need to earn money, just gallery surf—no one complains!
20 billion-year unpaid slave coupon—jealous of 200-pull gacha? Gifted to you!
Exclusive offer just for you!
[Press button to accept.]
[Warning! Irreversible once pressed. Duration adds per press.]
"Suuuck... this is kinda tempting?"
Gallery whenever I want, no grinding for cash, and they make me Juttak too? 500-Million-Year Button Gallery—even I'd never heard of it as a gallery vet, but it pulled me in. Something familiar about the name.
Crazy bastard who'd take a gig burning 500 million years unpaid, just dodging tactical nukes?
Squish. Squish. Squish...
That bastard was me.
Welcome to the 500-Million-Year Button World.
Presses: 50
Term: 25 billion years
"Oh, fuck."
"...Where the hell am I?"
Disorienting as fuck. One press and I dropped into this weird space. Or rather, my eyes snapped open here.
"No way that was real?"
Real or not didn't matter. The vast expanse before me left me staring slack-jawed. Endless white walls everywhere, horizon unbroken in every direction. The sheer whiteness made my head spin after a bit.
"...Nothing at all. No exit obviously, but is there an end?"
You never know. So I tested: sprinted full tilt, wandered aimlessly, took a breather and walked more. Same result.
"Fuck, really trapped."
Upside: no fatigue. No hunger, thirst, or sleepiness.
Welcome to the 500-Million-Year Button Gallery.
You are this place's manager.
Please set your nickname for use going forward.
Familiar yet alien messages floated in the air. Difference: I was the manager.
"Too freaked out, forgot. Pressed for lifetime gallery access."
Nickname first. Gotta be careful picking a highnick. Simple reason.
This fucker's hair thick enough to crochet lol
Scared of the tens of millions of us baldies here, you dog?
Stuff like this—could get stabbed anywhere, anytime. And honestly, kinda unfair. Just studied baldness a bit, gave advice, showed my own hair when asked.
"Gets more bullshit the more I think."
Not even bald-specific. Any gallery, right? Not trolling like "Bet you don't have this~" or scissors flex "Never seen this density?"
"Anyway. 500-Million-Year Button Gallery, so Eokgal it is?"
Safe choice. Nothing else popping to mind.
Welcome, Manager Kim Eok-bung.
Entering 500-Million-Year Button Gallery.
And boom—a dead-familiar rectangular window. The classic gallery interface I'd seen a million times.
Don't judge a gallery by its first glance. Scope the posts first.
Finally fuck unpaid slave showed up!!!
How many tens of thousands of years!!!
"What the hell is all this?"
Tens of thousands of years since last Juttak? Elves? Roleplay?
Greetings hehe
"Whoa fuck!"
Right after loading, some massive thing(?) filled the screen. Clicked the pic—zoomed succubus selfie from Cheongsun Garyeon. Pink hair, black horns sprouting from head. Looked nothing like human. No cosplay.
White background in pic matched mine. Probably trapped here too.
Plus, as a connoisseur who'd devoured every jerk-off pic out there—Gordon Ramsay of smut, smut sommelier, smut master—that shot sent shivers(?) down below. Potent stuff.
Back on track. Self-proclaimed elf earlier, dwarf pics, Other races were scattered around. Were they really non-human?
Head spinning.
Photo saved.
"Save for now and move on."
Not for later viewing. Purely situational recon. Yeah.
If you've followed so far, you're gazing at Hwa-kyung realm.
Next, circulate qi along meridians as this lady teaches...
Tons more posts like this. One thing clear: folks here weren't normal. They felt more like other races than humans.
Glad you're here young!
But Juttak, what race young? Not jokgan right? Not jokgan right? Not jokgan right?
TL;DR: Eokgal Packed with humans and all sorts of other races. Trapped here for their reasons, gallery-surfing to stave off madness. Posts standard gallery fare. Desperate dopamine grabs.
But one massive issue screamed out. As a multi-gallery highnick spending days gallery-deep, I clocked it instantly.
What Eokgal lacked.
"Dopamine. No dopamine."
Scrolled lying on the floor. "Dopamine" here? Just gallery infights or spicy selfies from elves, succubi, dwarves(?). Not true dopamine. Felt like overhearing grannies and gramps bickering at a senior center.
No real sources in this void. Best they could do: trash-talk.
"Come to think, status windows always pop in these."
"Nice, works. Solid. So just these three for now? Juttak Shop first."
Opened shop: hundreds, thousands of items scrolling. Food, daily goods, books, even guns and weapons.
"Lemme see... what can I snag with my points?"
Points: 15
Dunno point accrual, but 15 on hand. Hit top-right category—affordable stuff listed.
Dopamine's essence? Thrill of the new. Familiar works too, but pales next to novelty. Whole different league.
Think: if these are real other races, never touched modern stuff. Never sipped humanity's obesity incarnate, 'Cola'.
Yeah, this.
Purchased 5x Groceries Cola (250ml).
Points held: 15 → 0
"Bought at 3, sell for ~6?"
Dopamine from first cola sip? Beyond imagination. Like early humans tasting fire-roasted meat.
Market tab. Felt neglected forever. Last post 30,000 years ago.
Groceries 'Cola (250ml)' listed in Juttak Market at 6 points each. Total: 5.
Juttak receives full proceeds incl. fees.
"Phew, done. Lie back, wait for the ping."
How long passed?