I Will Bitik Too!
I was going to bitik too! "I'm going to reincarnate... I'm going to reincarnate...!! I'm getting the hell out of this shitty reality...!!!" The man was already drowning in madness.
"Hurry up...! Come on and get me out of this dogshit reality! You promised...!! You said you'd reincarnate me!" Listening to him, it was hard not to wonder if this lunatic had been huffing some serious copium. Did he actually think he was the protagonist of some manhwa?
"You said you'd even give me the cheat I wanted...!! Hurry up and send the reincarnation truck! Make me a popular stud already!!" I'd already given up on trying to talk sense into him and just watched as he kept muttering like a madman.
"......"
But no matter how long we waited, no reincarnation truck appeared. Ha, what the hell was I thinking... There's no reason to listen to a crazy weeb like him. I felt pathetic for even entertaining the slightest "what if?" for a second. This junkie-wannabe had clearly given up. Still, I couldn't just let a person die, so I pulled out my phone to call the real police on 112.
But right then, a voice completely different from his previous muttering rang out—thick with wild excitement.
"It's here, it's heeeere-!!!!! It's real!!! The reincarnation truck is actually here-!!! Hahahahahaha!! Sayonara to this fucking world!!! Goodbye forever!!!" He was screaming the most weeb shit imaginable at maximum hype. It was impossible for him to get any more excited than this.
"No way..." Even though I told myself it couldn't be true, I turned my head in the direction the man was staring. And what came into view was...
"A truck..." It was a truck. An utterly unreal truck scattering rainbow-colored sparkles like when you pull a 5-star, SSR, or UR in a subculture mobile game. That very truck was barreling straight toward us from far away.
"Is that... seriously the reincarnation truck...?" My brain felt like it was short-circuiting. A million thoughts flashed through my mind in an instant. Is this a prank? Then is that CGI? No, that's bullshit, there's no way. But then how is it glowing like that? Could it actually be possible? Maybe the technology exists now. So is this all staged? Is that crazy excitement just acting? If so, this guy's Oscar material. He totally fooled me. Pranks these days are next-level. Damn impressive.
"No, snap the fuck out of it...!! There's no way that's real!" That was clearly an unrealistic truck. There's no way something could scatter light like a movie effect in real life. Therefore, that truck did not exist in this world. In the end, I decided to believe it really was the reincarnation truck, just like the man said. And that reincarnation truck was rushing here to reincarnate him.
The moment I fully processed the situation in those few seconds, something suddenly flashed through my mind.
"Listen well. Next month, a tremendous opportunity will come to you."
The words the shaman grandmother had told me resurfaced. The very story I'd dismissed as a scam just moments ago. Why was it coming to mind right now? It was as if... this was exactly that moment.
"It will be an incredibly, incredibly huge opportunity. So massive that even if you gathered every bit of luck in your life, it still wouldn't be enough."
"Whether you seize that opportunity or not is entirely up to you. When the moment comes, you will have to make a choice."
"It will undoubtedly be a difficult choice. It may even demand a tremendous sacrifice."
"Huge opportunity... moment of choice... tremendous sacrifice..." The shaman grandmother's completely unpredictable words... at this very moment, they began to take clear shape, like scattered puzzle pieces coming together.
"So that's what it was."
I finally understood what the "opportunity" the shaman grandmother had mentioned truly meant. Not a single thing she'd said had been a lie. Far from being a scammer, every word had been accurate.
"She really was a genuine shaman..." A colossal opportunity, and an equally colossal sacrifice. And a choice that wouldn't be easy... Yes, it was definitely not an easy choice, but I had already made my decision.
Before I knew it, the reincarnation truck, wrapped in beautiful rainbow light, had drawn right up to us.
"Hahahahahaha-!!! It's finally over with this unfair world!!! Farewell, you pathetic sekai!!! Sayonaraaaaa-!!!!!"
"Don't raise your voice like that."
"What?"
THUD!!
"Gwaaah-!!"
The man was screaming at the top of his lungs in a frenzy. I crept up behind him without him noticing, then rammed my whole body into him and shoved hard. Caught completely off guard, he tumbled and rolled across the ground several times. By then, the reincarnation truck was already right in front of us.
Now, standing in the truck's path wasn't the man—it was me.
"Ugh...!! You, you son of a bitch-!!!"
I swept back the bangs that were slightly covering my eyes. Then I looked down at the fallen man and spoke.
"The long days of humiliation are over. From now on..."
"You fucking bastard-!!!!!!!!!!"
"I wish you a long and healthy life."
With those final words, I said goodbye to this world.
"........"
"........"
When I came to my senses, I found myself standing in some majestic temple-like place. And right in front of me was an old man who looked like Gandalf, staring at me with an utterly dumbfounded expression. We had a staring contest for a while without saying a word. For me, it wasn't so much a staring contest as it was me awkwardly keeping my mouth shut because I couldn't find the right timing to say hello.
After several dozen seconds of that, the old man finally spoke.
"Haa... This is completely unexpected..."
"..."
"Does this mean I broke the contract...? No, no. The contract was clearly just to send the reincarnation truck, so I didn't break it. Anyway, I fulfilled the contract. Yes, I did."
Contract? I couldn't quite understand what the old man was muttering about, but it seemed he'd made some kind of deal with that guy. Well, too bad for him, but the reincarnation chance had come over to me. First come, first served, after all.
Someone seeing my situation might ask: Why didn't you both just get hit by the truck together? Who knows if it would reincarnate both of you or just one? When your life is literally on the line for a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, why take that gamble? That's why you should've watched your mouth. Running it about reincarnation trucks and whatever is exactly why this happened. If that bastard had just kept his mouth shut a little, this probably wouldn't have happened.
Well, thanks to that, it's turned out pretty great for me.
For now, I decided to ask about something I'd been curious about since earlier.
"Are you a god, by any chance?"
"A god? Hmm, I could be, or I might not be."
What the hell is that supposed to mean? If you're a god, you're a god. If not, you're not.
"Whether I'm a god or not is up to how you choose to see it."
I flinched. ...What? Did he just read my mind?
"That's right."
"..."
Isn't that cheating? But if he was a god, I figured it was possible. Actually, whether he was a god or not, if he had transcendent abilities, that pretty much made him a god. Anyway, that was a trivial matter to me. The important thing was that I was going to reincarnate.
But what if he won't reincarnate me because I cut in line on the reincarnation truck?
"Don't worry. Once payment has been received in advance, reincarnating you is the rule."
I couldn't read his thoughts at all. But what did he mean by receiving payment in advance? I hadn't given this old man anything.
"You did. You gave me your life."
Life...? Does that mean the reincarnation truck took my life?
"That's right. Did you think the reincarnation truck just rammed into people for no reason?"
"It wasn't like that...?"
This was actually a bit shocking.
"Of course not. In exchange for receiving the life of the contract's target, I grant reincarnation."
So that's how it works. That means I've already paid the price for reincarnation.
"Yes. Now, tell me what you desire."
"Huh? What I desire?"
"To put it simply, the things you people call cheats or perks. You can just think of it as a wish."
"Huh...? For real? You're not just reincarnating me, but giving me that too?"
It was hard to believe. Wasn't this way too good to be true just for me?
"The energy of life is far greater than you think. Granting one wish is well within reason."
The moment I heard that, my heart began to tremble. Did that mean I could finally fulfill my lifelong wish?
Like a revolving lantern, my entire unlucky life flashed before my eyes. The times I'd repeated to myself that luck would come someday while deep down I'd already given up... Especially the scenes of suffering from gacha hell. And... the devilish bastards who got off on bitik and stabbed daggers into my heart... The moments I had to memorize their usernames just to avoid their bitik felt like phantom pain.
"The me who shed bloody tears while watching your bitik, whose heart was torn to shreds... that version of me no longer exists."
From now on, I will show you bastards what true bitik really is..!! I will stand in your heavens!!
"Is the prologue over? Wrap it up and just tell me what you want already."
"...Ahem. Since you read my mind, you probably already know what I want."
There had only ever been one thing I wanted since long ago.
"Luck. Overwhelming luck that no one can even come close to! Absolute luck so ridiculous that even the bastards who bitik will writhe in jealousy and die!!!"
"...I see. Understood."
He was looking at me with a somewhat pitiful gaze, but I didn't care. As long as I could bitik, everything was good!
"Tsk, you poor thing... I'll specially send you to a world you'll like. Be grateful."
Oh, then of course I should do a flying dogeza and thank him. As that thought crossed my mind, my consciousness began to fade.
"Live a happy life this time."
Right before losing consciousness, I thought I heard those words.