A New Life
I let out a tiny cry. "Wah." (Fuck.)
I'd been so excited that I'd completely forgotten. But now that I thought about it, this restart started from being a baby.
'Look at these tiny little hands... Even picking a fight with a chick would be tough.'
After living as a fully functional adult, becoming a baby again was so frustrating I thought I'd lose my mind.
I really couldn't do anything.
'My eyes still don't focus properly either, damn it.'
"Goo goo... gaa gaa goo goo gaa!"
"Hmm~? Is our baby hungry~? Hehe."
Frustrated, I'd closed my eyes and was just babbling nonsense.
Then a sweet voice came from beside me, and I felt myself being gently lifted into someone's arms.
When I opened my eyes, what I saw was an incredibly beautiful woman who looked like she'd stepped straight out of a manga.
That's right.
This beauty was my mother.
I'd been completely shocked the first time I saw her.
"Hehe, our cute little Sung-woon~"
She held me close and rubbed her cheek against mine. It felt strangely nice.
Was this what a mother's embrace was like?
It was incredibly comforting.
As I looked up at her smiling face, one thought came to mind.
'Dad's the ultimate winner in life.'
Marrying a woman this gorgeous...
He had nothing left to achieve.
But that didn't mean Dad was some kind of thief. Not at all.
If I had to describe my father in one word, it would be this.
'Alpha male.'
How nice it would've been if I'd looked like that in my previous life... That thought crossed my mind often.
He was the perfect example of a handsome, manly man.
They say it's harder to find a truly good-looking guy than a pretty girl, so maybe Mom had gotten the better end of the deal.
In the end, it was just an insanely handsome man and an insanely beautiful woman who met and got married.
And in that case, the luckiest one of all had to be their child—me.
That's right... From the very first draw in the gacha of life, I'd pulled a 5-star.
Just like how my name literally meant "Five Stars" — Oh Sung-woon.
With this, there was no doubt I'd grow up to be an alpha male.
It didn't matter which parent I took after.
I was going to be a total stud.
"Sung-woon~ Say 'mommy'! Mom~my!"
"Goo goo ga?"
"Hehehe, still too early, huh~"
Rub rub.
She rubbed her cheek against mine so often I was worried my face would wear away.
Still, having such a kind mother was nice.
"Goo goo..."
Nestled comfortably in her arms, sleep came rushing over me.
Maybe because I was a baby, but I got sleepy so easily.
"Hehe, is our Sung-woon sleepy? Should we sing a lullaby~? Lullaby~ lullaby~ our little baby~"
"Gaa..."
'Growing up fast would be good, but being held like this in Mom's arms isn't bad at all.'
With that thought, I drifted off to sleep.
Just as expected, I grew up to be a total stud.
Well, it was an obvious outcome.
Even though I was only five, I was already overflowing with charm.
Thanks to that, I was the most popular kid in kindergarten.
Honestly, at first my shoulders puffed up with pride and satisfaction.
In my previous life, I'd never once experienced this kind of popularity.
But as time went on, it started getting annoying.
Think about it.
What was the point of being popular among these little brats?
I had zero interest in these tiny kids.
Every time I played with them, I felt a crushing sense of self-loathing.
I wanted to grow up as fast as possible.
It reminded me of that manga from my previous life where a detective got drugged and turned into a kid.
Now I finally understood how that guy felt.
'How the hell did he endure it for so long... what a hardship...'
Come to think of it, I reincarnated before I could even finish reading it.
That was truly a shame.
This world was similar to my previous one in many ways, but there were clear differences.
For starters, I couldn't find any of the countless creative works I'd known before.
It was incredibly sad that I couldn't reread my favorite stories, but fortunately, this world had plenty of things just as entertaining.
In fact, since they were all completely new to me, there were even more things to enjoy.
Because my brain was a completely clean slate — the ultimate 'Buying a brain that hasn't seen anything.'
From the perspective of the weebs in this world, it was something to drool over with envy.
While I was lost in these random thoughts, a voice called out from beside me.
"Oh Sung-woon! Today's the day we settle this! This time, I'm definitely going to win!"
That annoying Zoro-looking bastard was at it again.
How many times was this now, damn it...
"Again today, Jo Gong-heon? Just give it a rest already."
"It's not Jo Gong-heon, it's Jo Kwang-hoon!! Jo Kwang-hoon!! Remember my name already!!"
"So what are we doing today?"
"Today it's Kaemon cards!"
"We've already done that like a hundred times, dude."
He always brought whatever game he felt like playing and insisted on competing with me.
There were plenty of other kids, so why was he so obsessed with me?
When I asked, he said it was because he'd never beaten me even once.
So basically, he was going to keep doing this until he won.
What a pain in the ass.
Why did he act like winning was the obvious outcome?
Well, that was because every game this guy brought out was...
"Trap card activated! Blood Vengeance! Activates when a monster on the field is destroyed! The opponent draws one card from their deck! If the drawn card is not a trap card, they must send the monster with the highest attack power on their field to the graveyard along with it! If a trap card is drawn, one monster card on my field is removed!"
'Oh... Blood Vengeance, huh? For this guy, that's actually pretty thoughtful. My deck doesn't have many traps, so it's a pretty efficient choice.'
If his opponent wasn't me, that is.
"There! Draw already, Oh Sung-woon!"
"You draw it yourself."
I pushed my deck toward him.
"Heh heh! I already figured out that your deck has few trap cards! Plus you've already used four of them! The odds of drawing a trap this time are extremely low!"
"Yeah, sure."
Sorry, but no matter how much you try to intimidate me, I don't feel any tension at all.
There's no need to even look.
The card that would come out of my deck was already decided.
"I'll destroy that Masked Dragon Knight you summoned with so much effort! Draw! Huuuh...!!"
His entire body froze the moment he saw the card he'd drawn.
I didn't bother asking what it was.
I simply silently sent one of the monsters on his field to the graveyard.
"T-this can't be...!!"
"Yeah, it can."
"Ughhhhh...!!! Damn it!"
That's right.
Every single game Jo Kwang-hoon suggested was some kind of luck-based bullshit game that relied heavily on RNG, big or small.
If I'd still been my old self from the previous life, I probably wouldn't have beaten him even once.
No matter what I did, I wouldn't have been able to overcome that overwhelming bad luck.
But not anymore.
Now I wasn't the one getting screwed by bad luck. I was the one dishing it out.
"You suck, Jo Gong-heon."
"Aaaargh!! Damn it! Rematch! And it's Jo Kwang-hoon!"
I know, you idiot.
If you don't want to hear it, you shouldn't react so perfectly every time.
Even though this guy kept bothering me, watching his juicy reactions was pretty fun.
Once "I have to win" turned into "just click," it became so easy.
It had already been five years since I became an elementary school student.
I was now in sixth grade.
One thing I'd realized during that time was that elementary school kids were seriously loud.
Honestly, though, it was bearable.
Because the quality of life compared to my previous existence had changed so drastically.
"S-Sung-woon...! I've liked you ever since I first saw you...!! P-please go out with me!"
Was this what an alpha male's life was like? My heart felt so full it could burst.
Was it because of how pathetic my previous life had been?
Even though this wasn't the first or second time, it still felt fresh every single time.
Mom, Dad, thank you so much.
However, as sorry as I felt for the girl who confessed, I didn't feel any fluttering in my heart.
"Sorry. I'm not interested in little kids."
"...?? B-but Sung-woon, you're a kid too..."
"Ah, sorry. Actually, there's someone I've liked for a while."
Oops. I almost forgot I was a kid myself.
"W-who is it...?"
"That's... a secret. Sorry."
"I-I see... Sob... Waaah..."
Watching the girl walk away crying made my chest ache.
She was in the same class too. How was I supposed to face her now that it'd be awkward...
"You made another girl cry, you piece of trash."
"Stop watching from the shadows, Jo Gong-heon."
"It's Jo Kwang-hoon, you bastard. I know you're doing it on purpose. And you're supposed to be smart."
Jo Kwang-hoon, who ended up in the same class as me this time.
Somehow the connection that started in kindergarten was still going strong.
He didn't challenge me as often as before, but he still came at me from time to time.
Of course, my win rate was still a perfect 100 percent.
I had no idea why he kept bringing games that relied on luck.
"I just turned her down. Why does that make me trash?"
"Shut up. You're just trash, period."
"Don't be jealous. It's ugly."
"Jealous my ass... But why don't you date any girls?"
"What's the point of dating kids?"
"You're a kid too, you crazy bastard."
"Don't be too envious. Turning them all down one by one is pretty tiring."
"You fucking son of a—"
Look at him losing control of his expression after taking such a heavy bitik.
'Heh heh, this is what you call alpha male-style bitik. Can't handle it, can you?'
In my previous life, I'd seen a pretty handsome guy talk like this.
I'd wanted to kill him.
"What's with that face? You look like someone who's never received a confession from a girl."
"......"
"Just kidding. Haha, as if someone like that could exist."
"......"
"Wait, you don't mean...? No way? You get confessed to at least once a month, right?"
"Aaaaargh!!! I'm gonna kill you, Oh Sung-woon!!!"
"Heh heh heh heh."
"There it is!!"
You demonic bastards who loved dishing out bitik.
I was finally starting to understand why you did it.
The more you do this, the more addictive it becomes.
It's so fun I can't stop.