133. Dependence (2)
133. Dependence (2)
[Episode 133] - Dependency (2)
"...I'm sorry. I was so busy with work. I'm very late, aren't I?"
"N-not really? Actually, being alone gave me plenty of time to think, so it was fine."
Titania lowered her head slightly, looking down at Vivian. Despite what she said about being fine alone, her face—unlike her words—was clearly washed in relief.
The way she had noticed her arrival and come all the way to the door to greet her. The comfortable expression she wore as she let out a sigh of relief. Her fingers twitching, not knowing where to put them. It was definitely a different side of Mother than four days ago.
Watching that, Titania smiled, her eyes curving into crescents. She took Vivian's hand, which was at a loss, and led her into the room. She could feel Mother's hand trembling slightly where they touched.
"I'm sorry. I tried to visit as much as I could, but I just couldn't find the time."
"A-ah, no, it's fine. Whew..."
Titania couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of Vivian letting out another sigh of relief. Right now, Mother looked exactly like a puppy that thought it had been abandoned by its owner.
'Did she understand my feelings a little?'
The loneliness of being left alone. That pain was something you couldn't know unless you experienced it yourself. That was why Titania intended to make Vivian, who had pushed her away, experience it firsthand.
Just how painful and lonely she had been while Mother was gone.
'I'm sorry, but it's all Mother's fault.'
Had four days been too long? Seeing her look so anxious made her feel sorry, but also adorable. Titania couldn't help but smile at the change in Mother, who finally seemed to understand her feelings a little.
Vivian, who had been fidgeting with her fingers, sighed once more and looked up at Titania. Then, as if she wanted to end this situation quickly, she urged Titania.
"So, have you thought about it now?"
"...Thought about what?"
For a moment, a surge of emotion welled up in Vivian. Titania was looking at her, tilting her head with an attitude and expression as if she had completely forgotten, and Vivian raised her voice in anger.
"You...! You said you needed time to sort out your thoughts! You asked me to wait...! So...!"
"I'm sorry. I've been so busy that I haven't had time for personal thoughts. You know, right? What position I'm in now. Being Queen isn't exactly a comfortable seat."
Vivian's shoulders flinched. Even if she wanted to get angry, Titania's answer made it impossible to do so. Vivian bit her lower lip and swallowed her anger as best she could.
Titania knelt on one knee, covering Vivian's hand with hers, wearing an expression that looked truly sorry and apologetic. Then, she looked up at Vivian with a gentle smile.
"I'm truly sorry. Honestly, how could I decide? The only reason I can endure such difficult and hard work is because you, Mother, are by my side."
"......"
"So, couldn't you give me a little more time to think? I don't know when I'll have my thoughts sorted out, but... I 'promise' I'll sort them out as 'quickly' as possible. When that time comes..."
Titania glanced at Vivian's shackles. It was a gaze that made it seem as if she would release them once she finished thinking. It was a gaze that made such a 'misunderstanding' possible. In the end, Vivian nodded silently.
"Thank you so much, Mother. Truly, I think I can endure it all because of you. It's been so hard since I became Queen. So, please stay by my side for a little longer. Okay?"
"...Okay."
In the end, Vivian answered, gritting her teeth.
Titania's voice saying 'a little longer' seemed to linger in her ears. How could she refuse when she was begging like this? Besides, she had promised it would only be a little longer. She thought a little bit would be fine.
"Really... just a little."
Vivian narrowed her eyes and glared at Titania. Titania smiled as if she were truly happy and nodded. And as soon as Vivian's permission was given—
"Then, I'll be heading back now."
"W-wait? Already...?"
"Yes. I only made time to see Mother's face, after all. I have to go back right away."
Titania said coldly and stood up from her spot. How many minutes had passed? Seeing Titania about to leave in less than ten minutes, Vivian's pupils shook as if hit by an earthquake.
"I'll visit sooner next time than I did today."
"Ah..."
Titania offered a brief farewell. As she turned around and tried to leave the room in an instant, Vivian subconsciously reached out, then flinched and quickly pulled her hand back to its place.
'What was I going to do by holding onto her? She said she'd be back soon anyway.'
Vivian smiled awkwardly and just watched Titania walk out of the room. She didn't even say goodbye; she just watched. In the room that had become silent once again, Vivian took a deep breath in and out.
Only the sound of her own breathing lingered in the room, where even the air felt silent. As if it were a lie that a voice had been heard just a moment ago, the room left alone was terribly quiet.
'...Let's wait.'
Vivian sighed softly and collapsed onto the bed. She shook the shackles tied to her ankles under the bed, filling the room with the clinking sound of iron chains. Just to make this silence disappear, even a little.
'...She promised.'
That she would come back sooner next time. She was sure she would visit within two days at the latest. With the sole thought of waiting for Titania, Vivian quietly closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.
However, the day Vivian would meet Titania again after this.
It was exactly one week later.
*
Vivian began ordering alcohol from the maids rather than things like books. If she drank, her depressed mood would disappear, and she could fall asleep quickly. She started drinking to make time pass faster.
The first two days after drinking went by really fast. She fell asleep as soon as she got drunk, and fell asleep again as soon as she got drunk. However, as time passed, her tolerance increased, and she had to drink a lot to get drunk.
As empty liquor bottles piled up in the room day by day, another day, two days, three days, four days passed. On the fourth day, exactly four days after Titania had visited the room, Vivian finally made a ridiculous mistake.
Vivian, who woke up clutching her head from a hangover, looked at a note on her desk and twisted her expression. The short message written on the note was this:
[It would be better to drink only a little. You wouldn't wake up no matter how much I tried to wake you, so I'm leaving this note. I want to see your face awake next time.]
"Ah...!"
Realizing that Titania had come and gone while she was asleep, Vivian scrunched up her face in annoyance. She was irritated that she hadn't been able to meet Titania, who visited every four days, because she was drunk.
"You said you'd visit often! You said you'd visit faster than last time! Then why on earth...!"
Just as she was about to say, 'Why are you coming so late?', her throat choked up, and no words came out. When on earth would Titania's thinking be finished? She wanted to break these damn shackles and run away right now.
The surging anger wasn't limited to Titania. Veronica, Ainsel, and even Katarina were targets of her rage. Vivian screamed, asking why they weren't coming to find her.
In a fit of burning annoyance, Vivian picked up a liquor bottle lying randomly on the floor, popped the cap, and started pouring it into her mouth. Titania wouldn't be visiting for four days anyway. So...
Drip, drip, tears flowed silently down Vivian's cheeks.
Thick tears that she couldn't control flowed down her cheeks and fell to the floor. Was it because she couldn't overcome the alcohol, or because she couldn't overcome the agitation? Perhaps it was both.
"Haa... you said just a little..."
Wiping her tears with the back of her hand, Vivian let out a deep sigh and slumped onto the bed. She had thought she would just drink until Titania came, but after this day, Vivian began to reduce the amount she drank.
After all, it would be troublesome if she got drunk again and couldn't meet Titania. Vivian resolved to only drink enough so that she wouldn't get completely drunk, just enough to keep her wits about her.
*
Three more days passed, and it was exactly one week since she had last seen Titania's face. As she sat on the bed, drinking alcohol with the sound of clinking chains as her snack—
"Have you been drinking all day again?"
The door opened softly, and Titania walked into the room with a smile. Seeing Titania's face for the first time in a week, indescribable emotions boiled up from deep within her chest.
She wanted to scream and ask why she had come now, but she also felt happy to see her face after so long. She wanted to say something to Titania, but she didn't know what to say, so Vivian just moved her lips.
In the end, Vivian turned her head away and avoided Titania's gaze. She had missed her so much that she was angry, but now that she saw her, for some reason, she felt like she didn't want to meet her. It was a contradictory emotion.
"I said you could do whatever you wanted in this room, but it's troublesome if you only drink like this. Or are you protesting against me like this?"
Vivian, who had downed her drink, chuckled and glared at Titania. 'Why would I protest?' It was she herself who had agreed to wait because Titania had asked for 'a little' time to think.
She was just angry that the 'little' had dragged on; she told herself that the emotion she was feeling now was nothing more or less than that, and downed the alcohol in her hand in one go to soothe her stinging insides.
Titania chuckled as she watched Vivian, who looked furious. Then, she picked up a wine bottle rolling on the floor and approached where Vivian was looking.
"It would have been better if you had called me instead of drinking all this... alone."
"Me? You? Ha!"
Vivian, who burst into a scoff as if it were ridiculous, glared at Titania with annoyance. However, Titania ignored Vivian's gaze and looked at her, shaking the liquor bottle in her hand.
The moment their eyes met, Vivian felt an inexplicable nausea and became even more annoyed. That child, who was looking only at her with her eyes curved charmingly, was a child she couldn't hate after all.
How could she hate that child? She was a child she had raised with sincerity and love for over ten years. No matter what she did to her, Titania was a child she couldn't truly hate.
In the end, Vivian turned her head away to avoid Titania's gaze, clicked her tongue, and replied in a sarcastic tone. It was a tone that seemed to mock the 'childish' behavior of a 'little kid,' while swirling her glass.
"Do you even know how to drink? You're just an adult, what kind of alcohol..."
At that moment, the cork popped out of the bottle in Titania's hand with a pong sound, and it fell to the floor. Titania, who had approached Vivian with a gentle smile while holding the bottle—
"......"
"Why, why...?"
She just curled the corners of her lips and smiled. A heavy silence flowed for a moment, and Titania brought the mouth of the bottle to her own lips and began to pour it into her mouth as if drinking water.
Had she known Titania could drink like that? With a gulping sound, Titania's Adam's apple bobbed a few times, and the wine bottle began to tilt upward. Titania drank half of it in an instant.
Vivian, surprised to see Titania holding wine in her mouth, just stared at her blankly. Even so, if she drank like that, her stomach would hurt, and she was worried.
The moment she was staring blankly like that.
"Ugh—?!"
It really happened in an instant. For a moment, she felt a sense of déjà vu, and Vivian's eyes widened, thinking she had experienced this once before. No, she had already been caught by Titania once.
Titania, who had suddenly lowered her head and invaded Vivian's lips, supported Vivian's face with both hands as if holding a cup. She twisted, rubbed, and crushed her lips strongly to force them open.
She pushed her away, hitting Titania's shoulders, telling her to go away and not to do this, but it was useless. In the end, Titania pressed on Vivian's chin and forced her lips open.
She had been caught by Titania again.
The wine Titania had been holding flowed through Vivian's slightly parted lips and filled her mouth. Glug, glug, the wine went down Vivian's esophagus, making air sounds.
Just like a mother bird feeding a baby bird, her mouth was instantly filled with the wine Titania had passed to her. Vivian, coming to her senses, tried to spit out the wine, but Titania didn't allow it.
The tongue that had entered between her lips in an instant thoroughly stirred the wine in Vivian's mouth. The moment she realized Titania's tongue was in her mouth, Vivian jumped in her seat.
"Ugh! Ughh!!"
No matter how much she screamed, Titania wouldn't let her go. Their tongues were forcibly intertwined, and saliva and wine flowed out from between Vivian's lips, running down her chin.
The white negligee she was wearing was stained red in an instant. Her mind grew hazy, as if her mouth had become a wine glass. She felt like she was going to lose her breath at any moment.
The terribly coercive kiss continued until Vivian came to her senses and bit Titania's lip. At the same time as a crunch sound came from her mouth, Titania pulled away from Vivian.
"Haa, haa....! You, really... again...!!"
Titania, who had stepped back one pace, laughed wildly, and licked the 'something' that was a mix of saliva and wine flowing down her lips, looking down at Vivian. Truly, a wickedly seductive smile.
Vivian hated that Titania was looking at her and wearing that smile. Because she now knew the meaning of that smile when Titania looked at her. That smile was...
"How is it? Do you see that I know how to drink now too?"
It was the smile she wore when she saw her not as 'Mother,' but as a 'woman.'