134. Dependence (3)
134. Dependence (3)
[Episode 134] - Dependence (3)
"How is it? I know how to drink now, don't I?"
Titania, wearing a relaxed smile, gulped down the wine in her mouth, then opened her mouth to show her tongue. Vivian frowned, as if asking if she really had the nerve to joke in this situation, and glared at Titania.
"...Do you think I'll accept your feelings just because you do this?"
Vivian wiped her mouth with the sleeve of her negligee, which had gotten wet from the spilled wine, and growled. Titania smirked at the sight and kicked a wine bottle rolling on the floor.
"...Alcohol is a kind of escape."
"...What?"
"I heard from the Minister of Foreign Affairs that adults drink to escape reality, to forget bad things, and to run away from negative emotions like depression, loneliness, anxiety, fear, and so on."
Vivian frowned at the sudden story. She couldn't understand what Titania was trying to say. Titania, looking at the wine bottles scattered on the floor, let out a smirk.
"Was being here so painful that you had to drown yourself in alcohol?"
Titania glanced up and glared at Vivian. Just as Vivian tried to avoid her gaze, Titania approached and cupped Vivian's chin with one hand, as if telling her not to look away.
"...Let go of this."
"How have you been spending your time? Well, it's obvious without even looking. You must have spent the whole day drinking, falling asleep drunk, and just passing the time like that. To forget this situation."
"...Are you mocking me right now?"
"Not at all. I just thought you might finally understand the pain I felt to some extent... but I guess it's still not enough? I should have come later."
"What...?"
Titania smirked and brushed Vivian's cheek with the hand that had been holding her chin. At Titania's last words, Vivian felt like her head was spinning for a moment.
So, the reason Titania came late was...
"You, didn't you tell me you were busy...? That's why it was hard to see your face..."
"...I wasn't particularly busy? Did I say that?"
Vivian gritted her teeth at Titania's giggling.
She clenched her jaw so hard to suppress her anger that it bulged. This had happened before. Titania had definitely begged her to wait "just a little bit," saying she was too busy to think.
This time was the same as last time. She had clearly said she couldn't come because she was busy, and that she would come a little earlier next time. She had come late on purpose and showed her face after a week. This, too, was a "lie."
She had believed that if she just waited, Titania would come to unlock these shackles. She had believed that if she gave her time when she asked for time to think, she would realize that the feelings she felt for her foster mother were a mistake. But...
"You lied to me again...!"
Just as Vivian was about to explode in anger.
"You were the one who lied to me first, Mother. Surely you aren't going to say you forgot, are you?"
Vivian couldn't say anything to Titania's words.
"You 'promised' to stay with me for the rest of your life, yet who was it that disappeared without a word, leaving behind only a flimsy piece of paper? Oh, right, the reason you left me was also because of that 'promise,' wasn't it?"
Titania giggled and looked at Vivian. Is this what they call the pot calling the kettle black? She wondered if the day would ever come when her mother would understand who lied first and how she had crumbled because of it.
Titania just wanted to let Vivian know.
How miserable she was while her mother was gone. How painful it was to be hurt by her mother's lies. How painful it is to be betrayed countless times by the person you have trusted your whole life.
That was why she put shackles on her mother.
With the desire to keep her from running away from her side, and with the feeling of wanting her to feel at least a fraction of the pain she felt from being deceived by her. She gave her the punishment of being made to believe endlessly by being deceived by a flimsy "lie."
Her mother, left alone by the "lie" that she needed time to think, must have kept believing and waiting. She must have believed without a doubt that the shackles on her ankles would be unlocked soon. Like a fool, naively.
Her mother must have been anxious but believed and waited because of the "lie" that she would come sooner than next time. The empty wine bottles scattered on the floor proved it. She must have been anxious, believing that flimsy lie.
Even while anxious about those lies, all her mother could do was wait in the empty room, unable to talk to anyone, hollowly believing in the "lie."
Could it be that Titania lied?
Why is she coming so late?
Could it be that she has no intention of unlocking the shackles?
Will I end up living here for the rest of my life?
Anxiety and nervousness. And the relief she felt after seeing the face of the person who made the promise, thinking, 'It wasn't a lie. She's just a little late.' That was the emotion reflected on the face of the mother she met after four days.
Titania felt quite good looking at that expression on Vivian's face. Her mother, who was this anxious after just four days, was cute, and also hateful. She herself had suffered like that for years.
"Why are you looking at me with those eyes? Did you really believe that I wouldn't lie to you, Mother? After you told me such lies?"
Titania giggled, looking down at Vivian with a sneer. A foolish mother. A mother who was nothing but naive. The expression on her mother's face, looking as if she didn't know she would be deceived by her daughter, was truly foolish.
"Mother, I don't know if I should say you're naive, or if you just don't have any sense of guilt toward me. In your eyes, do I still look like the naive 'little child' from the past?"
At that moment, thick tears welled up in Vivian's eyes. The expression of a child who looked like she was about to burst into tears at any moment. Vivian's shoulders trembled as if she were forcing herself to hold back her tears.
However, no matter how much Vivian cried, Titania had no intention of stopping. Because she had cried every single night for years. Missing her mother, suffering from her lies, she had cried every single day.
"After you abandoned me and left, while you were living happily with someone else, every day was hell for me. I cried, calling out for you, waiting for you to return from that hell. But you..."
You forgot about someone like me and lived really happily. Titania muttered with a hollow laugh and smiled bitterly. Titania reached out and wiped the tears from Vivian's eyes with her finger.
"I, I just... wanted you to be independent..."
"Wasn't the 'independence' you speak of, this? Being betrayed by the person you trusted, being left alone and suffering—wasn't that the 'independence' you talked about?"
"N-no... I wanted you to..."
"...You say it isn't, but that is the pain I felt."
Titania chewed over the reason Vivian had left her side. That she was all grown up so she had to leave her side and be independent. That a fully grown baby bird must leave the nest. Her mother had believed that without a doubt.
However, the act her mother committed was an act of pushing the baby bird out of the nest without any sense of responsibility. Without even asking for the baby bird's opinion, she pushed the baby bird, which couldn't even flap its wings properly, straight out of the nest.
The baby bird that fell out of the nest crashed to the ground. It cried out for its mother at the base of the tree, begging for help. However, the mother bird left that baby bird behind and flew far away.
"Do you understand now? You just abandoned me."
"Ah..."
Drip, drip. Tears flowed down Vivian's cheeks. Thick teardrops flowed down her cheeks without rest. Titania just looked down at Vivian's face.
The teardrops that crossed her cheeks and wet her face soaked Titania's hand, which was caressing Vivian's cheek. Every time the hot tears touched her skin, Titania only smiled bitterly.
"Do you still think you need to leave my side?"
Vivian said nothing.
She didn't even nod. As if she didn't know yet, she just stood there blankly, shedding tears silently. She was a little annoyed at her mother, who wouldn't give an immediate answer even after she had gone this far.
Titania took a small key out of her pocket and placed it in Vivian's hand. Vivian knew what kind of key it was, even without Titania saying it.
"If you still think you need to leave my side, leave this place by tomorrow."
"......"
"If you leave, I will cry every day. I will live the rest of my life feeling pain even greater than the pain you felt over the past month. If you think that's fine, you can leave my side."
Titania smiled brightly and placed the key in Vivian's hand. She made her close her hand around it, forcing her to choose for herself. Titania, who took a step back, walked out of the room just like that.
Without a word, without looking back, coldly.
As the door closed, Vivian looked blankly at the small key in her hand. Even though she had been given the freedom to leave this place immediately if she unlocked the shackles with this key, her feet wouldn't move.
"......"
Vivian chewed over the past month.
The time she had spent trapped alone in this large room, anxious about whether Titania would keep her promise, and nervous about when she would be able to leave. It was only a month, but it was a time that felt like a year.
It was a month spent being swayed by Titania's every word. To her, it was only a month, but Titania says it's a lifetime. She says she has lived with these feelings for the years she had been gone.
Furthermore, she says that if she leaves, she will live in these feelings for the rest of her life. Titania said that and put the key in her hand. A key that could make her free and leave this place immediately.
"......"
Vivian bent down, inserted the key into the lock on the shackle, and turned it. With a cheerful click, the lock opened, and the shackle that had bound her for a month came off too easily.
It felt unfamiliar that there was no clinking sound under her feet every time she walked. As expected, humans are animals of adaptation, Vivian thought, walking in place and smiling bitterly.
Vivian looked up at the firmly closed door. If she took a few more steps forward, she could open that door and go outside. Escape this place, and go out.
*
Click.
She heard the sound of the door opening, and Titania entered the room where Vivian had been trapped. The first thing she saw upon entering the room was the shackles neatly organized under the bed.
The shackles that no longer bound her mother's ankles were under the bed, waiting for their turn to come again someday. Titania turned her head and scanned the room. The room looked cleaner than yesterday.
The wine bottles that had been rolling around no longer dirtied the room, and unlike yesterday, there was no musty smell of alcohol, perhaps because she had ventilated it. Titania smiled brightly at the sight of the room and approached the bed.
"Why are you still here?"
On the bed, her mother, dressed in a negligee, was sitting demurely and reading a novel. Vivian, who had only rolled her eyes to look at Titania, let out a small sigh and closed the book.
"......Well? Why would I have stayed?"
Vivian smirked and looked up at Titania. Titania also smiled and looked down at Vivian. As they looked at each other and smiled like that, the room began to fill with the sound of each other's laughter.
The laughter subsided, and Vivian, who had let out a sigh, got up from the bed and approached Titania. Vivian, who had come right up to Titania's nose, raised her hand and stroked the hair of her daughter, who was taller than her.
Titania didn't like that Vivian still treated her like a "little child." Titania, frowning as if slightly annoyed, gently brushed away Vivian's hand that had been on her head.
"Honestly, I don't really know about the feelings you have for me as a lover... but still, I think staying by your side right now is the right choice."
"...Did you only just realize that?"
"Yeah, foolishly."
Vivian, who let out a chuckle, looked up at Titania's face for a moment, then made a sad expression and stroked Titania's cheek. Was it because she had tried to push her away too much until now?
It felt like it had been a long time since she had looked at Titania's face in such detail.
"...You cut your hair."
"...It's been a while."
"I knew, but I don't think I said anything."
The hand that had been running down Titania's cheek moved to the hair that fell to her shoulders. At the hairstyle that was half as short as it used to be, Vivian smiled and stroked Titania's hair.
"It suits you."
"Do you know that cutting my hair was also your fault, Mother?"
"...I thought it might be."
Like that, Titania and Vivian exchanged small stories. How she had lived during the days when her mother wasn't there, and how Vivian had spent her time in the hut.
They bloomed a conversation, filling the room. Unraveling the stories they hadn't been able to share until now. As if narrowing the distance as much as they had pushed it away, they continued each other's stories.
While they were talking for a while, Vivian overlapped her hand on the back of Titania's hand and met her gaze. In the slightly serious atmosphere, Titania also quietly met Vivian's gaze and listened to her story.
"...I promise to stay by your side from now on. As long as you don't push me away first, I won't leave your side."
"......"
Vivian smiled brightly and held out her pinky finger to Titania. When Titania didn't hold out her pinky finger as if it were hard to believe, Vivian forcibly grabbed Titania's hand and hooked their pinky fingers together.
Titania looked at their forcibly intertwined pinky fingers and let out a smirk.
"Ha... If I only think about the promises you've broken to me, a thousand needles wouldn't be enough... Since it's come to this, shall I bring some needles? I'm curious how many needles you'd be able to swallow, Mother."
"T-this time, it's for real. I'll really keep it..."
At Vivian's flustered appearance, Titania let out a chuckle and looked at their intertwined pinky fingers. Her mother's pinky finger, demurely hooked onto her own.
Watching their intertwined hands shaking up and down as if urging for a promise, Titania let out a hollow laugh. She wondered what she should really do with her mother if she were to be deceived again this time.
"...I'll trust you just one last time."
At Titania's answer of "I trust you," a flower of a smile bloomed on Vivian's face. In the atmosphere that seemed to have reconciled, Vivian squeezed their intertwined pinky fingers tightly and looked at Titania.
Vivian looked at her with an expression as if she wanted something. She just slightly raised her eyes and asked Titania. As if she were acting cute. Titania smirked at that attitude and looked at Vivian.
"T-then, now that we've made up... can I go out of here?"
"....."
A short silence flowed. Titania groaned, as if asking, 'You don't mean you're going to keep me locked up here, do you?' Titania, who opened her mouth as if her deliberation was over-
"...I'll allow you as far as the garden."
"Wha...?"
She still had no intention of letting Vivian go.
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Thank you sincerely for reading today as well!