My Disciple's Questionable Taste
As I walked through the shabby alleyways of the slum, an unpleasant stench assaulted my nose. There was definitely a rotting corpse somewhere in the corner. Peeking through the gap between two abandoned buildings, I saw a body that had been beaten and slashed apart, now decaying. From the maggots and flies swarming over it and the dried bloodstains on the ground, it looked like its organs had been harvested too. He probably racked up gambling debts somewhere and couldn't pay them back, which is how he ended up like this. Some might call it cruel, but this was the standard for the kind of people living in slums like this. It wasn't prejudice; it was a reasonable deduction.
"Airi."
"Yes, Master. Why are you calling your cute disciple?"
"Don't look."
"At what?"
"Your handsome master's face."
I covered Airi's face with the long sleeve of my robe. It wouldn't be good for her education to see a corpse just yet. Besides, this wasn't an ordinary corpse. It was half-rotted, crawling with maggots and flies. It was in such a wretched state that an average person might faint at the sight. How could I possibly show her something like that?
"But I see it every day. That face of yours that looks like the whole world is a hassle, Master."
"Are you insulting your master by calling him ugly right now? You foolish disciple."
"I said it looks like you're tired of the whole world. I never said it was ugly."
"What?"
I was surprised by the unexpected answer. Certainly, Werner in the Dragnity Fantasy 1 era had been a beautiful boy, and in Dragnity Fantasy 2 he was a bit gloomy but still a sufficiently handsome young man. That was why he had so many female fans. Whenever people searched for Dragnity Fantasy series comics on Hitomi, they would pair Werner with the protagonist of Dragnity Fantasy 1 in all sorts of fucked-up scenarios. Why the hell would they ship him with a married man who had a wife and kids? Just thinking about it made me want to puke.
And it wasn't just that. There were countless comics pairing him with numerous female characters. Of course, the ones with Airi or Camellia were overwhelmingly the most common. Especially the kind where Airi completely dominated him instead. The communities were no exception either...
"Master, what's wrong?"
"Nothing. I was just lost in thought for a moment."
"What were you thinking about? Did you finally realize how cute your disciple is?"
"No. This master was thinking that you're genuinely annoying."
Airi puffed out her cheeks and started pounding my chest with her fists. She must have inherited her father's strength because each blow was ridiculously powerful. My ribs ached and my organs felt like they were rattling with every hit. If I took a few more of these, I might die from internal rupture before my forehead even cracked.
"Sigh... My disciple... Your master is in a lot of pain right now."
"I hit you because I wanted it to hurt!"
I patted Airi's head a couple of times, and only then did she stop hitting me. But damn, it really hurt. Maybe instead of magic or swordsmanship, I should teach this girl how to wear heavy plate armor and swing a giant hammer. This gorilla of a girl.
"So what did you say? Your master was distracted by complicated thoughts and couldn't hear properly."
"Oh, that?"
Airi suddenly broke into a mischievous giggle and started poking my cheek repeatedly.
"I said a face like yours is my type, Master."
"Wh...what?"
"Doesn't that make you happy? Right?"
It had to be a joke. At this point in time, Airi still had a mischievous streak. There was no way she was serious. Of course, what man wouldn't be happy hearing that a girl this pretty considered him her type? But if she actually liked me and we started dating, it would be a disaster. No matter how recently she had become an adult, the ethical problems remained. And if I considered how Werner's companions from the Dragnity Fantasy 1 era would react, it would be even worse. Based on their personalities, if I announced that I was dating a girl twelve years younger than me whom I'd raised since she was five, they would probably respond like this.
Most of them would react like that. I could bet my entire life on it. Even in the fan comics that paired Airi and Werner, the surrounding characters mostly reacted that way. It was basically tradition to get beaten up first before gaining approval from those around you. But unlike those fan comics, reality wouldn't end with a simple beating. It would end with me being physically torn apart. And if her father—the protagonist of Dragnity Fantasy 1—ever found out, the story would become far more brutal.
Yeah... No matter how I thought about it, this was pure destruction. There was no escape route in sight. Which meant I had to do whatever it took to shut Airi's mouth.
"Airi, would it be alright if your master asked you for one favor?"
"If it's a perverted request, that's going to be a problem, Master."
As if I'd do that. I still wanted to live. If I asked you something like that, your father would dismember me.
"It's not that kind of request, you stupid disciple. Could you refrain from saying things like that in front of Camellia or the other adults?"
"Why?"
"If you want your master to live even one more day, then do as I say. Especially never write anything like that in the letters you send to your father."
That daughter-obsessed monster would definitely come to dismember me. Well, if his beloved youngest begged desperately for my life, he might stop at chopping off my limbs and gouging out my eyes.
"Then it's already too late."
"What?"
"Actually, when I sent Father a letter yesterday, I wrote that a face like Master's is my type."
"Airi, you little fucking..."
I swallowed the curse that nearly slipped out and tried to assess the situation as calmly as possible. Airi's father might not show it, but he was still a massive daughter-con. And I was twelve years older than Airi. On top of that, I'd been raising her since she was five. The equation of "that child told her dad that my face is her type" equaled "the perverted kidnapper gets executed." It was a simple, clear conclusion.
"No, wait..."
The protagonist of Dragnity Fantasy 1 cherished Werner as his youngest brother, so if I explained the circumstances properly, it might end with just losing one arm. It would definitely end there. Surely.
"Airi... My dear disciple."
"Yes, Master?"
"If I had to choose between losing my left arm or my right arm, which one do you think would be better? I'm ambidextrous, you see."
I needed to seriously consider which arm to lose before her father arrived.
"The left arm would be better."
"Why the left?"
"I've seen it a few times. At night, Master secretly uses his right hand to—"
"Yeah, let's stop right there."
Fuck. So she knew about that too. Wait, that means...
"Did you write that part in the letter too?"
"Yes, I wrote it yesterday!"
"Airi, it looks like I don't need to worry about which arm to lose anymore."
"Why not?"
"Because it looks like both are going to get cut off."
Airi had solved my dilemma. If both were going to be cut off, there was no need to worry about which one. When in doubt, cut it off—Alexander the Great style. As we walked while talking about this, we soon arrived in front of the pawn shop. Airi grabbed the door handle and said,
"Then if both of Master's arms get cut off, I'll feed you myself!"
"Yeah, that's truly touching. Thank you so much it brings tears to my eyes."
Since I couldn't hit Airi, I needed to properly vent my frustration today. And I had to carefully consider how to negotiate with her father to at least spare one arm. While I was at it, I should probably say my goodbyes to my arms with a kiss too.