I Still Can't Forget the Moment My Master Died
I still can't forget the moment my master died. Back when I was young, immature, and utterly foolish. I had trusted an enemy who approached me disguised as a friend, and I even fought with my master when he warned me to stay away from that person.
"I told you countless times that I had a bad feeling about her! I said don't get close!"
"Who are you to badmouth my friend like that? I hope a stupid master like you cracks his head open and just dies!"
I had spat those words and stormed out of the house. There were more times than I could count that I wanted to rip the mouth off my past self for saying such things.
"Oh, you came?"
"To come find me after abandoning even your master... How foolish."
After a long period of running away, the friend I sought out betrayed me. When the shadow of death enveloped my body, I was ready to give up on everything. Regretting that I had ignored my master's words.
"Light, become a shield."
⟨ Light Shield ⟩
My master, who appeared out of nowhere, lifted the shadow of death that had fallen over me. But the trap designed to kill me was too intricate, and even he could not escape its influence.
He eliminated every enemy, but exhausted as he was, he let his guard down just enough for a surprise attack to land. Bleeding from his forehead as he lay dying, my master stroked my head with his final strength.
"Why are you crying... you foolish disciple... I'm the terrible master who always bossed you around and tormented you, aren't I?"
What are you saying? You were the one who always stayed by my side, always saved me, and filled the empty space my parents left behind. Why won't you blame me? Why won't you at least curse me for causing this?
"Aah... Master... please don't speak... we need to get you treatment...!"
"It's fine. You're badly hurt too, so don't waste your mana. Cough..."
"Please stop talking! I'll carry you to the healing ward myself!"
I hoisted my master onto my back. The body that had always radiated sun-like warmth was now trembling. The once warm form was turning cold.
"Looks like I'm finished, Airi..."
"I was wrong! I was wrong! Please don't leave me alone!"
The tears came pouring out on their own. It was my fault. All my fault. I despised myself for being such an idiot. I could not accept that my master would die for someone as worthless as me.
"Airi... you've grown so much..."
"Master, please..."
Those words sounded like a final farewell, and I didn't want to hear any more. I couldn't bear the fact that my master's once powerful voice was now shaking weakly.
"You're a good child... Go find your parents now... Your brother will surely cherish you..."
"Please, Master, please..."
"Become a wonderful adult, different from me... Airi, I have always loved you..."
With those final words, my master's breath stopped.
Because of my stupid actions, because of my immaturity, my master had died. It was all because of me. It felt as if some unknown voice was whispering that every single outcome was something I had created.
I wanted to deny it, but I couldn't.
"This is a joke, right, Master...? You're just teasing me, aren't you...?"
I kept asking the master whose breathing had ceased. But he gave no answer.
"Are you sulking? Your cute little disciple is begging like this, so please say something..."
Master's body had gone cold. For a long, long time, until I eventually fainted, I simply cried without end.
I kept slapping my own lips for having uttered those words. As if they had become a curse, Master really did die from a wound to his forehead.
For a while afterward, I even hated the act of speaking and stayed silent.
The father who had searched for me for so long looked at me with cold eyes when he finally found me.
"So you've returned. I left you in Werner's care. Where is he?"
But when he learned of my master's death, my father's pupils trembled violently.
"Werner... our youngest... is dead...?"
Father refused to believe Master's death. And all of my master's comrades who heard the news came to despise me.
"You got our youngest killed and still have the nerve to show your face? Leader's daughter or not, I will never acknowledge you."
"Get out of my sight. You were nothing but a burden to poor Werner until the very end. Now you want to burden us too?"
"...Step aside. Who do you plan to get killed after Werner?"
"My daughter will be heartbroken... I won't hold you directly responsible, but it's still uncomfortable. Let us not meet outside of official duties."
"To think our youngest died like that..."
They either mourned my master's death or condemned me. Some, overwhelmed by grief, even tried to attack me. Father stopped them all, but even he couldn't look at me with warmth.
"...I only feel regret toward our youngest. I should never have left you with him."
In the end, I had to work twice as hard as anyone else to earn even the slightest acknowledgment. Only then did they begin to accept me, little by little.
Yet the empty space in my heart remained unfilled.
Without my master, every sound felt like noise, every living thing seemed like a pest, and every scent smelled like rot.
After the wars finally ended, I was given a palace-like mansion. I could live with both my father and mother. But even then, I longed for that shabby old house where I had lived with my master.
More than my mother's cooking, I missed the single piece of rye bread I used to share with him. More than my parents' embrace, I missed my master's arms.
Then one day, I read a story in an ancient magic tome about a person who had turned back time.
It was the kind of absurd tale people usually laughed off as nonsense, but to me, even a lie was better than no hope at all.
I left home, secluded myself in hiding, and devoted everything to researching time-reversal magic. I skipped meals and sleep, pouring every ounce of my being into the work.
I gathered everything I needed. But they said that even if time was reversed, my master's soul had already departed to another world. An ordinary soul might be different, but his was special. It had already crossed into another dimension.
Still, I wasn't about to give up over something like that. My master was not the kind of person who would surrender to a mere wall between dimensions. If he had reincarnated into another world, I simply needed to summon that reincarnated soul.
"O Time... I beg you, grant me a second chance."
My plan succeeded.
An eternity that lasted only an instant of darkness descended. When I forced open my heavy eyelids, a familiar ceiling came into view. The worn wooden beams and the old magic lantern I had dreamed of every single night.
As I stared at that familiar ceiling, a familiar voice reached my ears.
"The sun's already high in the sky and you're still lying there? What are you doing, you foolish disciple?"
The familiar impact of a knuckle to my head rang out. The moment I saw that dearly missed face, tears sprang to my eyes.
"Hey, why are you crying...? You aren't planning to send a letter to your father, are you? This much is just a harmless prank, Airi..."
Ah, Master... my one and only Master.
This soul belonged to him. Even if the memories were different, the essence was the same. I had adjusted it so that he would possess some knowledge of me and the common sense of this world.
"Hitting your cute disciple on the head... I really hate you."
I hated you for abandoning me and leaving. I hated you so much for making me lonely.
I pulled Master into a tight embrace.
"Hey, breath! I can't breathe! You inherited your father's ridiculous strength...!"
"This is your punishment for hitting your cute disciple's head!"
This is your punishment for leaving me behind, so accept it without complaint.
"Alright, alright, I'm sorry. What do you want me to do to make it up to you?"
Please stay by my side for the rest of your life.
"Then please teach me swordsmanship!"
I had already reached the pinnacle of both sword and magic. But simply spending time with Master was the greatest reward of all. That was why, in front of him, I had to remain a weak, foolish disciple.
The adventurer guild's measuring device? Manipulating a piece of junk like that was child's play.
"Fine, I understand."
Master stroked my head just like always. The warmth of that hand alone made every hardship I had endured feel worth it.
"Slowpoke disciple, what are you dawdling for? Hurry up and come out!"
"Yes, I'm coming right now!"
Moving in perfect sync with Master made me feel as if I could fly.
Late that night, after drinking, Master fell into a deep sleep. He probably wouldn't wake no matter what I did. I had infused the alcohol with powerful sleeping magic, after all.
As I caressed the cheek I had longed to touch so badly, the memory of stroking his cold, lifeless face resurfaced.
"Master, the truth is... I committed a terrible sin against you."
I pressed my lips to his cheek.
"So this time, I will protect you."
This time, I will never let you die. And you must stay only by my side. Your attention must be given only to me. Your heart must belong only to me.
I love you, my Master.