Heat (2)
Lately, I've been thinking about something.
In a relationship between a man and a woman, how exactly are you supposed to set the right amount of distance?
The reason this question kept circling through my head needed no explanation — it was because of the cat currently living under my roof.
A beastkin. Cecilia.
By her own account, her species was feline.
In other words: a cat.
It didn't feel like all that long since I'd first met her, but looking back, several days had already slipped by. Only a few days, sure. But still — a few days. We couldn't claim to know each other deeply, yet it was more than enough time to grow somewhat close.
At least from where I stood, Cecilia seemed comfortable living in my place. That same cat who was so fearful and so heavily guarded had, since around yesterday, started showing me a flicker of trust.
Landlord and housemate. And yet the two of us had become reasonably close. Only recently had I realized that closeness itself could become a problem.
"Haa…"
I couldn't hold back a sigh under the weight of all that swirling doubt.
I was at my part-time job — the convenience store. Quite a while had passed since I'd left a sleeping Cecilia behind and come in for my shift, and I had roughly ten minutes left until I could clock out.
"…"
I lifted my hand and held it still, spreading the fingers, staring down at the palm.
The sensation of kneading Cecilia's body still lingered there. At the same time, those sweet little sounds of hers kept circling my ears.
Cecilia, under my hands, being touched, letting out those honeyed sighs. How was I supposed to take that?
"…What do you think, hyung?"
"You sit there stewing in your own head and then just spit something out at me — what am I supposed to say? What is it this time?"
Jaeseop-hyung was sitting beside the counter the same way he had yesterday, chair dragged over, and his tone was a little crooked. I nodded.
"…There's this girl I know."
"Uh-huh."
"We were talking, and she mentioned she was more tired than usual today, so I gave her a massage."
"Smooth operator. And?"
The casual "smooth operator" pulled a bitter smile out of me before I could stop it. I searched for the next words, hesitated, then opened my mouth.
"And then, partway through, she started making these… kind of lewd sounds…"
"That's a green light."
He said it with a face that asked what there was even to worry about. Watching me flinch, he started ticking points off on his fingers one by one.
"First. Unless you already trust each other pretty well, most people don't let someone of the opposite sex give them a massage."
"…"
"Second. I don't know how good your hands are, but most people don't make lewd noises while getting a massage. And where was this?"
"Where… ah. My place."
The moment I answered, hyung flung open the fingers he'd been counting on.
"Case closed. She goes to a guy's house, gets a massage, and makes lewd noises on top of it? That's a green light. What are you even fretting over?"
I sat with that for a moment.
He had a point. No — realistically, he was right. Going over to someone of the opposite sex's place for a massage (even if, in our case, we already lived together) was already outside the ordinary. Add those sounds on top of it, and there wasn't much room left for doubt.
Green light. The perfect phrase for it.
If the other person hadn't been a beastkin — and if her condition hadn't been so strange — I probably would have thought the same thing.
"Can I change the subject for a second?"
"To what?"
"You know, beastkin. The ones all over the news lately."
"Ahh~. Yeah. Those are…"
He pressed a finger to his chin and squinted, fishing through his memory.
"Ears and a tail… and otherwise just look like regular people. That right?"
"Yeah."
I nodded, then went on.
"If a beastkin had a heat cycle…"
"…Huh? Uh, uh-huh."
"What would that even feel like? The things they say during heat, the things they do — can you take any of that at face value…?"
A short silence settled. I glanced sideways and found hyung tilting his head with a thoroughly dazed expression.
"…Let me ask you one thing. Was this person of yours a beastkin?"
I hesitated a beat, then nodded.
"Wow."
The soft exclamation hung there. Before I could say anything back, he pressed on.
"…What about the law? Didn't they just pass some kind of protection act or whatever?"
"I got a little lucky…. The legal side of it's already sorted out."
"Well, that's good then. Hmm. Heat, huh…?"
Still looking half-stunned, he crossed his arms and leaned all the way back into the chair.
"…I don't know. I've never actually met a beastkin."
"Yeah…"
"But I can give you the ordinary version of the talk, at least."
My head snapped up toward him. Meeting my eyes, he went on with a serious face.
"Pets, right? Why do you think people get them spayed or neutered?"
"Uh… to prevent unwanted pregnancy and breeding?"
"That's part of it, sure, but a big piece is just so they don't have to suffer. You ever kept an animal?"
"No…"
He nodded at that.
"Usually, the second heat hits, those little guys get absolutely wrecked with stress. They struggle, they get sick more easily. People who know, know — and people who don't, don't."
I nodded blankly. I'd never paid much attention to animals, so I hadn't known heat came with drawbacks like that. I'd vaguely thought of it as nothing more than "the period for getting pregnant"…
"Of course there's a pretty big gap between a beastkin and a regular animal. But still — wouldn't it be pretty similar?"
"…So…"
"She might be hurting a lot more than she looks. Anyway."
He stood up from the chair in one smooth motion and kept talking.
"Do what she asks for, and don't go doing anything she doesn't. She's a girl, right? Treat her carefully."
As he said it, he pointed a finger toward the convenience store door. Beyond it, the next shift's worker was scrambling toward us at a dead run.
The clock had somehow already hit eleven on the dot.
The very first thing I felt the moment I opened the door was heat.
The room was dark, the lights still off the way I'd left them. I could barely see inside. But on the bed, a faintly twitching silhouette caught my eye.
"…Cecilia?"
I asked it as I took a single step into the room.
Right after the heat, the next thing that hit me was the smell.
A dense, instinct-stirring scent of skin. The scent of a female calling to a male.
The thick, strange fragrance filling the room shook my head for a single dizzying second. My fingertips went numb. My breath shortened. It was dizzying.
"Huuu—…♥ Nn……?♥"
And then came the sound.
Cecilia's breathing, her soft moans, thick with heat and ragged with need. Beneath them, almost drowned out, a sticky wet sound faintly echoing through the room.
With a soft click, the door shut itself behind me. At that sound, the silhouette panting on the bed lifted her head and looked at me.
"Eunhyuk……?♥"
Her voice was hot enough to burn. Sky-blue eyes, wet and pleading, locked straight onto mine.
"Ceci…"
I hadn't expected it to be this bad. From everything I'd seen so far, I'd been sure she was in heat — but I never imagined the state would be this severe.
Half on autopilot, I started toward the bed, and something caught under my foot. Looking down, I found the shirt she'd been wearing. A little farther off lay her underwear, and nearer the bed, her pants as well.
I carefully raised my eyes. By then they'd adjusted to the dark enough to take in Cecilia's bare body.
"Eunhyuuuk………♥"
Wearing nothing but a single pair of panties, nearly naked, she clutched a pillow tight against her mouth and her chest.
She slipped down from the bed and came toward me little by little, and I could only stand there staring, unable to manage any real reaction at all.
"Ce-Ceci…"
"Mm…♥"
Softly, she rested her head against my stomach.
I could see her legs fidgeting. A hot breath spilled out of her — haa — and it blanked my mind.
"Eunhyuk…. Eunhyuuuk……."
She kept nuzzling her head against my stomach, calling my name in that aching voice. I needed to do something. I knew that, and still my body wouldn't move.
"Eunhyuk……."
Slowly — so slowly — she lifted her face and met my eyes.
I saw her lower lip trembling. Felt the ragged breath slipping between parted lips. Even in the dark, her skin, flushed a deep red, stood out clearly. Sweat-damp hair clung to her forehead. Up close, the scent of a female in heat shook my head all over again.
And then.
"Don't look at me……."
In complete contrast to the coquettish body language and the voice, her eyes were on the verge of tears.
They were brimming, about to spill.
And deeper than desire, deeper than longing, what I saw in them was a shame and a fear so fierce it left nowhere to hide.
"This isn't me…. Please, I— I…♥"
Looking at her like that, I drew a slow, careful breath. Once I was sure my hands would move when I told them to, I set them on her shoulders.
"…Cecilia."
"Hyaat?!♥"
"Cecilia? Can you hear me?"
"Huu…. Y-yeah…?"
There's a saying that a man who can't eat the meal set in front of him is a disgrace. But at the very least—
"Focus. Look at me properly. What do you want me to do for you? What would make this even a little easier on you?"
—at the very least, I was not going to treat a Cecilia like this as some free meal laid out on a table.
"Eunhyuuuk……."
"I'm right here. Tell me anything. Okay?"
For this moment, at least, I would do anything for the girl suffering in front of me. As that thought settled in me, Cecilia stretched a hand out toward something.
"There… that…"
I turned my head in the direction she was pointing.
There sat the dresser where, a few days ago, I had put away Cecilia's medicine.