Nobody Gets Ugly from Smoking

"Thanks for the seven-dollar donation. I'll buy myself a slice of cake with this."

"Because what I actually receive is seven dollars. The platform takes a thirty percent cut, you know."

"It's Asel."

"Hmm. This is my stream, so why does nobody have my back?"

"Oh. I'll give you a compliment."

I stroked the computer.

"I just patted your head. You don't have to thank me too much."

"Alright, the game we're playing today is—"

"Ah, I was thinking of playing something else for a change, but if you're all going to be like this, should I just boot up Dark Souls?"

"Pfft. Ugh, my pride. I actually laughed. You dared to make me laugh, so I'm just going to play Dark Souls."

"I'm kidding. I was going to play something other than Dark Souls today anyway."

"Today's game is one where you become a CEO."

"Please don't slander me. If a CEO offer ever came my way, I am fully confident I would rank number one among every CEO currently walking this earth."

"Someone might."

"That's not what I meant. I meant I would use my brilliant mind to fix the inefficiencies of whatever company made me the offer and drive their revenue up."

"Should I play Dark Souls?"

"Then behave."

"That feels sarcastic...?"

"Hmph. Fine. I'll let it slide. Just this once."

"Alright, can we play the game now? I haven't even been able to start because of you people."

"You all should have cut me off at a reasonable point."

"Please abandon the prejudice that the streamer has to be the one to wrap things up. With a brain that calcified, when exactly do you plan on succeeding in life?"

"Yes."

"The truth is, I've been running a social experiment. I wanted to see just how unsuccessful I could be if I deliberately tried not to succeed. I was hoping to last at least a year, but my face shone so brightly that I succeeded before the year was even up."

"Ah, see, we're off on another tangent. Let's just play the game already."

"I couldn't start because you all kept talking to me."

"How could I? As a broadcaster, I am only here today because of all of you."

"Honestly, I'm a little hurt. I've shown you all so much through my actions this whole time."

"I feel so wronged."

"Okay, now I'm actually going to play the game."

I clicked the mouse and logged into MY CEO, the game where you become a CEO.

If I had to describe this one, it was a climbing game like we the sky, which I'd played last time. You climbed and climbed, and once you reached the top you became a CEO and the game ended. In other words, it was basically a mirror of my own life.

"Honestly, I don't think there's a better example of a human triumph story than me. I was a nobody streamer for close to a year, but I never gave up, and look — here I am, shining. If any of you ever feel like giving up on something, just hang in there a little longer and don't quit. Then a day will come when you shine, just like me."

"Looks don't matter. What matters is not giving up."

"Well, what can you do? I can't exactly remodel your faces. I'm speaking within the bounds of reality here. Your looks are already a lost cause, so at least don't give up on effort and keep going until you shine. I'm sure you can do it. I'll be cheering you on."

"You don't even know where I live, so don't act tough."

Talking with the viewers had given me a craving.

"I'm going to have a cigarette."

The moment I drew on the e-cigarette, I envied no one. In that instant, I could say with certainty that I was the happiest person in the world.

"Nobody gets ugly from smoking. If someone does, they were ugly to begin with."

"Do you guys like mint chocolate?"

"Honestly, I'm the kind of person who finds mint chocolate tteokbokki and mint chocolate fried chicken repulsive. But I think I like mint chocolate ice cream."

"We're on the same page for once. As expected, my viewers know how to eat."

"Ah. And I recently suffered a bit of an injustice — want to hear about it?"

"Since everyone agreed, let me tell you. I went to a Chinese restaurant not too long ago."

"I was craving sweet and sour pork, so I ordered sweet and sour pork, and—"

"The sauce came already poured over it."

"Look, honestly I don't care whether you pour the sauce on or dip it. But them bringing it out already drowned made me so angry. If the person who ordered it was like me and didn't care either way, fine. But what if it had been someone who only eats it dipped?"

"So if any of you ever become the owner of a Chinese restaurant, please serve the sweet and sour pork and the sauce separately. That way people can choose. Dip or pour."

"Ah. It's already been three hours since the stream started. Another productive broadcast. Let's just do the game tomorrow. I'm clocking out. Good night, everyone."