I Don't Read Chats Over Three Lines

"I don't read chats longer than three lines."

"Huh? I need this to take down Malphite."

"Later on Malphite has way more health, that's why. Unbelievable. I'm a lock for the Dark Cup the second I go pro, and you're giving me item advice…"

Yet another day of me playing Dark, and yet another backseat comment that left me speechless.

Offering item tips to a fully prepared talent who could debut as a pro whenever she felt like it.

This was the downside of anonymity right here.

Hide behind the shadow of a screen name and people will say absolutely anything.

"Hmm. I'm ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠just gonna play the game."

Forget it. My mistake for even caring.

A streamer's basic job was to ignore the chat, and I had failed at the basics.

"Hmm. My HP is 3000, Malphite's is 5000, and you're saying armor-pen Last Whisper."

"Now that you mention it, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠yeah. We've got an Ornn on the team, so I don't really need to rush Dominik's first. Oh. I thought that was complete nonsense, but you were actually right."

Clap clap.

"There. I clapped for you."

"Excuse me? Why would I apologize?"

"If you're a person, misspeaking is inevitable. The moment you're born human, it's already decided. If I apologized for every little slip of the tongue, I wouldn't be able to stream at all. Please try to understand. Let's all build a healthy internet culture together."

"Haa. Why are there so many haters today? Where did all my ride-or-die fans go…"

"Ah… I'm sleepy. Sorry. What did you say?"

"I don't read chats longer than three lines. It hurts my eyes."

"Ah, there's the real you. One harsh word and you flip sides immediately — really shows you what the world is like these days. Back in the day, when an adult gave you a scolding, you just took it. People don't do that anymore. What a cold world."

"We won."

"Ugh, this is so boring. I'm starting to want to lose, but I can't even throw hard enough to drop a game. Games are only fun when you lose sometimes, you know?"

"Uh… did I?"

"I'm kidding. Of course I remember. Don't worry. I'll just play a little more Dark and then hop straight into the become-a-CEO game."

"Ahem. Please call me a romance one-trick."

"Since the moment I started playing Dark."

"I know. Everything I say is correct."

"Don't twist this. I'm simply trying to save this miserable soul from hell."

"It's fine. When Ornn and Yasuo are on the same team, the synergy kicks in and they get twice as strong. And that's a bot lane duo? That's a proven combo — no explanation needed."

I spotted a miserable soul stubbornly trying to take CS against my instructions.

So I delivered judgment.

"I told him not to take CS and he keeps trying anyway. Well, nothing I can do about that. Guess I'll just keep sniping the last hits."

"I'm not that heartless. If he'd said he was going Blade of the Ruined King, I was prepared to allow him maybe ten CS."

"Have you people spent your whole lives getting lied to? When a person says something, try believing them."

"I've always been giving you reasons to trust me. You've just been interpreting my trust in weird ways."

"I've never once broken a stream schedule, have I?"

"'No-show' is a Japanese word. If you were born Korean, use Korean."

"No."

"Only my mom has."

"Hmm. That'd be tough. Lately my mom's been lamenting how much she's aging, and if she streamed with me, people would compare our looks and she'd age even faster for sure."

"Even by international age she's in her forties. But she's a brand-new, fresh-out-the-oven forty. My mom is."

"And just like that, I've successfully pulled another miserable soul up out of hell."

"And with that, I've redeemed one more miserable soul. That should be a pretty long stream for today, so I'm signing off. Good night, everyone."