I Think I Like Him, For Real (2)
"Let's start getting ready. The sun's starting to set now."
The once-red sun was slowly shifting into shades of orange. As evening deepened, the sky was beginning to glow with sunset hues. At Garam's words, the group members who had been sitting and resting all rose to their feet.
"It's nice we even get breaks because Taeo and Chae-ryeong are doing so well."
"Yeah. Honestly, I wasn't expecting much from Yoon Taeo."
"What the hell did you just say?"
"Oops, my bad."
While Ha-min and Yoon Gang-hu—who had grown pretty close through filming—chatted, I jumped into the conversation. I simply couldn't ignore what I'd just heard. Garam must have caught it too, because she laughed and chimed in.
"I was surprised as well. I thought from the first rehearsal that it felt special, but we've already shot more than eight scenes and not even half a day has passed, right?"
"True."
"And the quality isn't half bad. No—it's not just decent, it's actually good. It looks like something you'd believe came from borrowing real actors from the Theater and Film department."
I'd heard that upperclassmen sometimes collaborated with the Theater and Film department for their classes. After all, Media and Video students weren't professional actors; they were just learning how to film, so there had always been a limit to the quality of their projects.
During the earlier break, I'd reviewed the scenes we'd shot with Garam and the rest of the group, and even I had to admit they looked pretty solid. For amateurs, they were genuinely impressive. Maybe it was thanks to all the acting practice from vlogging. The thought made me see Yoo Chae-ryeong in a new, almost admirable light.
"Alright, enough chatting. The last scene is incredibly important, so we might not nail it in just a few takes like before."
Watching the sky gradually soak up the light of the setting sun, Garam hurried the group along. We'd decided the final scene had to be filmed against a real sunset. Since this wasn't a drama set, creating artificial sunset lighting was difficult, and using CG would feel too artificial. In the end, our conclusion was simple: we had to finish filming that last scene within the actual sunset window, no matter what.
"About an hour, right?"
"Yeah. At most, it'll wrap up in an hour and a half."
"Then it's going to be pretty tight, huh?"
"If we keep performing like we have so far, we might actually finish in thirty minutes. Hehe."
When I asked Garam roughly about the sunset timing, she answered with a laugh. The limit was at most an hour. Within that window, we had to complete filming the sixteenth scene—the highlight of our entire project.
We moved to the school backyard, the spot we'd already scouted as ideal for filming. Unlike the bright atmosphere of the morning, the area had grown quiet as filming wound down.
"......"
Everyone was smiling, but the exhaustion was obvious. None of them likely had much experience shooting for this long. Whatever their individual backgrounds, every person here was a freshman in the Media department. And what remained was the most crucial scene, with tight time pressure on top of that. Even though it was just a group assignment, the air felt thick with seriousness.
As I unconsciously scanned their faces, my gaze naturally drifted toward Chae-ryeong. Before I knew it, I was always following her face.
....Hoo... The kiss scene... Yeah... I can do it... Chae-ryeong.
Her face was etched with tension. Given how poorly Chae-ryeong hid her expressions, her nervousness stood out clearly. She didn't seem to realize I could hear her; she muttered to herself while clenching her fists tight. Her lips looked dry, and a small bead of sweat—whether from heat or nerves—had formed near her temple.
......Of everything I've seen today, this is the most nervous she's looked. Throughout the shoot, Chae-ryeong had maintained a relaxed attitude the whole time. If anything, she'd seemed more at ease than me. But now she looked like a theater actor stepping onto the stage for the very first time.
Was her body tired? Or was it because she'd always been the pessimistic type? I found myself wondering as I watched her.
.......It must be that the kiss scene feels burdensome after all.
Of course the current scene was important, but her reaction seemed extreme. Maybe that was exactly why she was showing such a drastic difference. Even though she'd clearly said it was fine before, kissing me might not actually be pleasant for her. Since she'd been the one to suggest it first, it might have been hard for her to admit it felt like a burden.
"Are you that nervous?" I asked her quietly. Chae-ryeong flinched in surprise before answering. Her cheeks were faintly flushed, and her body language seemed to shy away from me. For some reason, her eyes kept drifting to my lips. It was obvious—she was conscious of the kiss.
Now that I thought about it, she'd always been with me and had never dated anyone. This might be her first kiss. No, it definitely was. The fact that she had to do it as mere acting—with me, someone she didn't even like—made me feel a little sorry.
"Ah, yeah. Because it's the kiss scene coming up. Why am I shaking so much? Aren't you nervous?"
"You're trembling so hard it's actually calming me down. Hey."
"......Really? I see."
Why did she look disappointed when I said I wasn't nervous? After all these years, I still couldn't read what was going on inside her. It felt like she was shrouded in pure white fog—no matter how hard I tried to see through it, I couldn't.
In the end, I decided to be considerate and spoke up.
"Yoo Chae-ryeong."
"Yeah?"
"If the kiss scene is that burdensome, we don't have to film it."
"Huh?"
Chae-ryeong looked flustered. Was it because I'd seen through her feelings? She'd been so obvious—how could I not notice?
"We can tell Gang-hu and the others to adjust the framing to give a similar vibe, or change it from a kiss to a close approach scene. It's fine to modify the direction like that."
"...Uh... There's no need to go that far..."
Her wavering eyes met mine. That inner turmoil had to be because I'd caught onto her true feelings. Yeah, no matter how much you imagine something, standing in front of it in reality changes everything. Imagining a kiss scene in your head and actually performing it were two completely different things. Even I felt a fresh wave of emotion now that it was right in front of me.
Feeling a faint bitterness, I spoke for her sake.
"If it's hard to say out loud, I'll tell them for you. You can be honest with me."
"Ah, no! I can do it! I already said I could!"
"You don't have to be so stubborn about it."
"I'm not being stubborn! I really can do it. Let's do it. We've come this far—why give up now?"
Her pride was as strong as ever. Even with her voice trembling, she insisted. In the end, I couldn't keep pushing and gave up on being considerate. Since she was this determined, it would be strange for me to keep trying to talk her out of it.
"Fine, I got it. Do what you want. But if you change your mind midway, tell me anytime. I'm okay with it."
I left her the tiniest possible escape route.
"I'll check the script once and we'll jump straight into rehearsal, okay? Ready?"
"Yes~!"
I answered Garam loudly, then pretended to read the script while sneaking a glance at Taeo's face beside me. He looked completely indifferent. Not even a trace of tension about kissing me.
......So it really had been my imagination. I must have just heard what I wanted to hear.
Taeo had spoken in a considerate tone, but now it seemed like he was the one who disliked the kiss scene more than I did. Unlike me, who was extremely nervous, he didn't seem tense at all.
-Yeah, I got it. Do what you want. But if you change your mind midway, tell me anytime. I'm fine with it.
Seeing him leave me an opening to refuse until the very end confirmed that my thoughts had been mistaken. Of course he didn't like me. It really had just been the script. He'd simply layered an emotional story onto a scene from the past to make it sound believable. And I'd fallen for it completely.
Plus, watching him act made me realize Yoon Taeo was genuinely good at it. The gaze I'd thought I'd seen back then, that tender expression, the loving look in his eyes—it was convincing enough to believe he'd simply performed it all. Maybe he hadn't dreamed of becoming an actor for nothing.
If that wasn't the case, there would have been no need for him to refuse the kiss scene when I'd already said with my own mouth that it was fine. He probably felt bad saying he didn't want to do it, so he was trying to end it by using me as an excuse.
Somehow, thinking that way made his handsome face look irritating. The expectations that had soared sky-high came crashing straight down. And the more they did, the deeper my suspicions grew.
......So that means I like him?
He had no such intention at all, yet I'd been the only one hoping he would like me back. At this point, I might not be able to deny it anymore.
I couldn't stop the strange emptiness that washed over me.
......Whatever. Yoo Chae-ryeong. Why are you getting so dejected? You didn't come here today to confirm that, did you? Whether it was a misunderstanding or not didn't matter. What I needed to focus on right now wasn't how Yoon Taeo felt about me. It was how I felt about him. How I thought of Yoon Taeo. And filming the kiss scene would tell me that. At least if what my sister said was true, I would find out. So I'd focus only on that. No useless disappointment or empty feelings—just concentrate on the shoot.
"Roll! Camera's rolling~! Fighting for the last scene!"
Hearing Garam's encouraging voice, I gently took Taeo's hand. Since we were acting as lovers right before breaking up, we had to enter the scene holding hands. Whatever else was going on, filming came first right now.
I pushed my messy thoughts down and tried my hardest to summon every emotion I could.
"Ready~ Action!"
For a moment, I walked silently beside Taeo, our hands linked. Then we sat on the bench, and I whispered to him in a low voice. The orange sky reflected beautifully in his deep eyes.
"Sunbae. Do you remember? The day we had our first date here?"
"Yeah. I remember. That was the first time we had lunch together. After eating, we walked around here pretending it was a casual stroll, right?"
Both of us, deeply immersed in our roles, wore faint, bittersweet smiles. As if we understood each other's feelings perfectly. As if we already knew exactly what the other would say next. But neither of us could bring those words out first; we only moved our lips silently.
In a strangely hollow voice, I murmured.
"......Back then it was nice. Fresh and exciting. I liked you the most, Sunbae. Just being together made me happy. I couldn't stop smiling."
"I know."
It's not like that anymore. I swallowed the line I was supposed to say. That, too, had been a detail Ha-min and I had carefully written into the script.
"Sunbae. Let's break up."
I finally spoke the words. The line one of us had to say first—the words both of us had been planning to say.
And Taeo answered without any visible emotion, as if he felt nothing at all.
"Okay. Let's break up."
Almost as if he was relieved I'd said it first.
We turned our heads to look at each other. Both of us were smiling, but inside, everything was burning black. The pain of letting go of a lover who could no longer love you. I imagined that feeling with everything I had.
"Sunbae. Hey."
"Yeah."
"I loved you, Sunbae. Really. With all my heart."
As I stared straight into his face, Taeo slowly opened his lips as well.
"Me too, Ah-jeong. I really loved you."
Emotions surged up, and tears naturally gathered at the corners of my eyes. This was the end. We were really breaking up. Then just once, at the very end. Just once, to leave it as a memory.
"Thank you, Sunbae. For loving me."
I wanted to press my lips to his. Carrying that intention, I closed my eyes and leaned forward.
Taeo closed his eyes without a word, and beneath the sunset glow, our lips met.
Thump.
The moment our moist lips touched, it felt like something inside my chest dropped. Then slowly, something rose up. Thump thump thump. My heart began to race wildly. Thump thump thump thump thump thump.
The sensation of our lips meeting. So this... is a kiss...
When I opened my eyes after our lips touched and looked at his face, I finally understood what my sister had meant.
"Cut! Guys~! That was seriously perfect? Should we just use this take?"
My heart was pounding so hard that Garam's cut call barely registered. It was telling me I didn't need to worry anymore.
Even though filming had ended, our lips still hadn't parted. And in that moment, I realized it.
........Looks like you really do like me. Yoon Taeo, you.