Double-Checking (2)
Kim Hyewon was thinking.
Something about Baek Seojun's story of unrequited love felt off.
No — more precisely, something about Chaeeun within that story felt off.
"What do you… mean by that?"
"Chaeeun doesn't see you as a man, Baek Seojun — but that's not the whole story."
"…?"
Baek Seojun shot her a puzzled look, one that plainly asked her to explain what on earth that was supposed to mean.
Understandable, really. From where he stood, Chaeeun had never seen him as a man — which was why he'd confessed and gotten shot down, and why they'd never grown close again afterward.
So it was only natural that Hyewon, who hadn't witnessed any of it firsthand, would sound strange.
"This is my gut feeling. Can I tell you?"
And so, before laying out what she'd sensed, she asked for his permission. Impulsive as she could be — prone to the occasional unreadable word or action — she still knew where the line was.
And then.
"…Yeah. Go ahead."
Fortunately, Baek Seojun said he'd listen without getting angry.
"Okay, first — you said she doesn't see you as a man, right?"
"Right."
"And on top of that, she likes some other guy named Yang Jinhyeok."
Worse, she'd told him she liked the guy while knowing he was in love with her. A real piece of work.
"Am I right?"
"You are."
"Well, from where I'm standing — neither one's true."
"…Which one?"
"Both."
That Chaeeun didn't see the Baek Seojun in front of her as a man. That she liked a boy named Yang Jinhyeok. In Kim Hyewon's own judgment, both of those were wrong.
The reason was simple. They'd barely exchanged a handful of words before, but she had spent all this time watching the two of them as desk neighbors.
The closeness between them, the way they talked — anyone would have assumed they were a couple.
What she'd seen, from any angle, was the dynamic between a man and a woman.
"…Can't that happen even between close friends? Besides, up until now I'm the one who liked Chaeeun."
"It's possible."
She liked observing interesting things. She was also the type whose curiosity got the better of her, prompting her to ask pointed questions outright — and built on that habit, she had observed a great many people over the years. And by her measure, the boundary between Baek Seojun and Chaeeun was far too blurry for them to be just friends.
Of course, it wasn't impossible that he was right — that his own one-sided love had shown through all this time, and that was what had misled her.
But still.
"Her eyes this morning. Those were strange."
"…Chaeeun's eyes?"
"Yeah."
She couldn't be certain, but her suspicion ran deeper than she'd expected.
"Think about it. This morning, after you and I walked into the classroom together and started talking — what was the vibe when she joined in?"
Baek Seojun paused for a moment.
"…Pretty cold, I guess?"
"Exactly. Cold."
But why would that have been?
"…Hmm. If I'm being conservative — maybe because her closest friend was sitting with a friend she wasn't close to?"
"No."
The atmosphere had been far too frigid to be explained by the mere presence of an unfamiliar classmate. In that situation, the feeling would have been awkwardness, not coldness.
"And when I asked her if you two were close, and she said yes and looped her arm through yours? You remember that too, right?"
"I remember it, yeah."
"Did you see her eyes then?"
"Hmm. She seemed flustered, I'd say."
"Right."
Chaeeun had clearly been flustered. But.
"That wasn't the end of it."
There had been one more emotion underneath the fluster — and that was—
"Vigilance."
A look that seemed to be watching Kim Hyewon herself.
"When I looped my arm through yours, Baek Seojun — she was on guard against me."
Baek Seojun might not have noticed it, but Kim Hyewon was not the sort to miss it. Born with a face that drew envy from others since childhood, she'd endured more than her share of ugliness at people's hands — and that particular look was very, very familiar to her.
"Why on earth would she be wary of me?"
She'd said it before: if a childhood friend simply found herself next to someone she wasn't close with, the natural feeling would be awkwardness. So why vigilance?
As if a woman had latched onto her man and put her in a foul mood.
"…Maybe she just thought some weird girl had latched onto her childhood friend?"
…Huh. Come to think of it, that did seem possible.
…
"…I guess that could be it. I'm not right about everything, you know. But isn't it at least worth raising the question?"
"It is… yeah."
Baek Seojun agreed that her claim at least warranted the question. The more he listened to her, the more of it actually persuaded him.
"And there was the cafeteria earlier, too. When you spotted her eating with Yang Jinhyeok, you looked over for a moment, didn't you?"
"I did."
"Did you notice that after you looked, she kept glancing back at us? Over and over?"
"…She was watching us?"
"Yeah."
Mostly, she'd been watching the back of Baek Seojun's head. For a moment, her gaze had swung toward Kim Hyewon herself, sitting in front of him. And every time it did, for some reason, her eyes looked… dimmed. Sunken.
"Of course, short of reading her mind, we can't actually know what she's thinking."
But it was too strange to square with the idea that she didn't see Baek Seojun as a man. And if that gaze really wasn't romantic — if it was truly just the way you'd look at a childhood friend you'd grown up with — then Hyewon was fairly sure Chaeeun was not a good person.
Because that would mean treating a childhood friend like a possession. Like an accessory.
If a friend fell for another friend, you were supposed to cheer them on — why on earth would you wear a look that bordered on obsession?
And if she did genuinely see Baek Seojun as a man, that was a problem too.
'She sees Baek Seojun as a man — and she still tells him she likes Yang Jinhyeok?'
What possible reason could there be to deliberately hammer a nail into the chest of a childhood friend who loved her?
Granted, there was a way all of it could still hang together. She could recognize her lovestruck childhood friend as a man, and still like another guy, and still choose — choose — to drive that nail in. Two scenarios for that. One: she was simply a girl who kept men on the hook. Two: she genuinely hadn't recognized her own feelings yet.
Hyewon leaned toward the first. Unfortunate for Baek Seojun, but girls who kept admirers dangling were an abundantly common species.
But then—
'What if it's the second one?'
That was somehow even worse than the first. A girl who couldn't even recognize her own heart, and mistook herself for being in love with some other guy.
'That's actually more purely nasty.'
Purely the worst. Genuinely, purely rotten.
Meanwhile, Baek Seojun, having heard the whole story out, found himself unable to speak.
"…I'm honestly confused."
"So what are you going to do now?"
She'd said her piece. It was all talk of possibilities, sure — but she'd had her reasons.
So what would he do? Would he keep doing what he'd already chosen, quietly drifting away? Or would he choose to build a new kind of relationship with Chaeeun?
"…I—"
At last, Baek Seojun opened his mouth, gazing up at the blue sky.
"…My choice hasn't changed. My heart's already been torn to shreds — I can't keep this relationship going with her."
She thought to herself: poor guy. That this gentle man, caught in a situation like this, would choose quiet distance even over properly severing the tie.
"So you're going to keep drifting away, then."
At the same time, when he still chose to pull away, she felt a strange wash of relief. And at the fact that she'd felt relief at all, she tilted her head inwardly.
'…Why?'
Tilt.
Why had she felt relieved?
"Thank you for telling me all that."
I was genuinely grateful to Hyewon for opening up to me. Whatever else was true, her story had let me settle my heart that much more firmly. My chest still squeezed and ached when I thought of Chaeeun — but anything beyond this would only wound me further. So for now, quietly drifting apart like this was the right answer.
Before long, I turned to Kim Hyewon and smiled.
"Heavy talk's done, so should we switch to something lighter?"
"Like what?"
"Hmm… let's see."
What do normal friends even talk about?
"Oh — how about hobbies?"
"Hobbies?"
"Yeah."
What would Kim Hyewon's hobby be?
"Mine is watching cats."
"Cats? Like that butterfly we saw this morning?"
"Yeah. The butterfly you stole from me."
I could see her gaze darken just a touch. Had the cat slipping out of her arms really rattled her that much?
I let out an awkward little laugh. Probably better not to push the cat topic any further.
"Want to walk home together after school today?"
This time, I was the one making the offer. She'd been the one to suggest commuting to school together this morning, so it was only fair I be the one to suggest heading home together.
But then—
"I don't think I can."
"Huh?"
Unexpectedly, refusal was the first thing out of her mouth.
"I have to go pick up my little brother from kindergarten."
"Hyeseong?"
"Yeah. I don't pick him up every day, but sometimes I do. Today's one of those days."
"Ah, got it."
Kindergarten pickup, huh.
"Then I'll just come along."
"…You? Baek Seojun?"
"Yep."
"…Why?"
She looked genuinely baffled. As if to say, what reason could there possibly be to tag along while a total stranger picked up his little brother?
And maybe that was why the words slipped out of her.
"Do you… like me or something?"
Kim Hyewon seemed to have gotten the wrong idea.
"No, it's not that."
"It's not?"
"Nope, it's not."
"Then why?"
"Because friends do this kind of thing. If we lived in different directions, maybe — but we live in the exact same building."
Pure, simple goodwill. Besides, in a way, Kim Hyewon was something like my new first friend.
"That's fine with you, right?"
"…Yeah."