The Clumsy Bishop and the Aegis Active Defense System

"Minister of Justice. I wanted to ask if there's any precedent for an automaton receiving a title."

"...Your Grace. What on earth are you talking about..."

The Grand Chamber of the Imperial Capital.

The Minister of Justice scowled at the utterly out-of-left-field question.

The Empire's Supreme Council was infamous for dragging on ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠forever as it was. And this case involved a legion commander's rebellion—no time to waste on chit-chat.

Just as a sweet recess finally arrived amid the soul-draining marathon...

Has the old man finally lost it? A title for an automaton?

Does he want to dress a tin can in knight's armor or something?

"Minister of Justice. I hope you're well."

"Ah, Lady Karstein. It's been too long."

Her noble poise and the warm smile that put everyone at ease. Winter-pale hair just like her mother's.

A fatherly grin spread across his face unbidden.

The Minister decided to let it slide just this once for Freira's sake.

"Your Grace. We'll review your inquiry and respond accordingly."

"...Mm. Thank you."

A polite way of saying no. The Grand Duke had to know that much.

The Minister leaned back leisurely, reclining his chair. This time, the entire chamber rose to their feet.

Come on, let me rest already.

"His Excellency the Minister of National Defense enters."

"All rise! You too!"

Snow-white hair, a frame twice the size of most men. The man entered with a dryness more barbarian than imperial.

The murmuring chamber fell deathly silent in an instant.

Minister of National Defense, Eld.

Ulrich Karstein's master—and the Empire's last Swordmaster.

Swordmaster this, Swordmaster that—just don't come my way, please.

Those emotionless footsteps headed straight for the Minister.

Why me again? Stop!

The man, who seemed to have forgotten how to smile, approached the Grand Duke.

"Minister."

"Karstein."

It went beyond stiff—straight-up emotionless. The Minister cut right to the chase.

"Food."

"Eaten."

"Heard what you told the Minister of Justice."

"You have, then."

A conversation with massive chunks omitted.

"Approved?"

"Approved."

With that, the Minister turned on his heel. The Minister of Justice suppressed the urge to smack the back of his head.

At least now he could rest a bit—

"The Supreme Council resumes. Please be seated."

Ha... you bastards...

The Minister of Justice silently wept as he opened his mouth once more.

A week had passed since the Grand Duke and Freira left for the capital. A rare stretch of free time.

I blankly replayed audio ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠out the window of the Grand Duke's residence.

"If the machine is bizarre? Machine-bizarre-weird-machine—"

They said it had a joke function, so I tried it. Never again.

Feeling a bit bored. The title Ulrich mentioned was a no-go anyway.

Couldn't even snag a vocal module.

Monster stirrings were ramping up... Maybe I should get stronger?

Oh?

A familiar silhouette at the Grand Duke's main gate. The one lugging around two face-sized orbs—

Not that.

For some reason, Alsanna had come calling. With two paladins in tow. No way she was just now delivering that letter.

Alsanna pulled a letter from her bosom and waved it at the gate knight.

What to do with this precious little gold nugget...

It'd been over ten days since I fetched that letter for her. Probably molding by now.

I descended the stairs and slipped behind the wall.

"Your Excellency? The Grand Duke and Lady have gone to the capital."

"Wha!? Really? Oh n-no, what do I d-do—"

I knew that. Alsanna kept rolling her eyes like she was searching for someone.

Bored, I decided to butt in.

I poked my head out from behind the wall.

"Your Excellency?"

"W-Wah..."

"What did you see to make you like that? ...Ah."

The knight captain spotted me and scowled hard. The opposite of Alsanna, who stared all spaced out.

"K-Knight Captain. My legs are a bit sore... Could I rest here a bit?"

"Pardon? Ah, of course."

"Yay! ...Ahem, ahem!"

A bright smile bloomed on Alsanna's face. Such an easy-to-read girl.

The Grand Duke's drawing room.

Alsanna was eyeing the letter she'd brought.

"Tin Can. What's inside, I wonder."

"Response. I advise against opening it."

In this day and age, why send a letter? Communications can be tapped.

"Shall I? ...No one's around anyway."

I'm right here, you blockhead.

Alsanna pondered, then tore it open anyway.

The contents were brutally simple: signs of betrayal in the Grand Duchy, Gaius under suspicion. That was it.

"Ahh!? The Holy Kingdom warned us ahead of time. Inquisitors really are something!"

Sanna Sanna.

Why send this to Karstein specifically from the Holy Kingdom? Obviously to gain political leverage.

The Pope's will is probably mixed in there.

If Alsanna had delivered it on time, the Grand Duke would owe the Holy Kingdom big.

She just grinned innocently, though.

"I was a bit late, huh? But you held them off, Tin Can—so lucky!"

Sanna Sanna. Looks like the Holy Kingdom's political ploy turned to toilet paper thanks to you.

Alsanna leaned back in her chair, kicking her feet idly.

"So, what should we do?"

?

Did this girl seriously come to play? Don't bishops have packed schedules?

"Oh right! Couldn't come empty-handed, so I brought a gift."

Alsanna pulled something out.

Probably cookies or some snack. Too bad a tin can doesn't need to eat. Though it could.

I stepped back nonchalantly.

"From the cathedral's seized goods vault. Took it with bishop authority. Some module, it said."

"Thank you! Thank you!"

I snapped to attention and took the gift with both hands.

A cathedral seized goods vault is like a dragon's lair for automatons. Full of treasures, but enter and die.

I opened my abdomen and slotted in the rectangular module. The system log began scanning.

Feels like pulling a gacha.

Dud and I'd flick her forehead.

Finally, the manufacturer's name appeared.

Mi—fucking insane. Gacha terms, that's at least 3-star. Minimum.

Mirkelhauer was a state-owned firm. They didn't sell modules to civilian models like me. Performance was always above average, naturally.

Snagging this early was stupidly lucky.

Alright, what module is it?

Fuck.

My mind blanked out—I nearly passed out.

What 3-star? This was a 5-star legendary.

Growth-type module. Endgame gear.

My civilian small core limited functions now, but higher core grades would unlock more.

"T-Tin Can? ...B-Broken?"

Ah, my lovable clumsy bishop.

I gazed soulfully at her, and Alsanna gasped.

Too pure for her own good. Sweet kid, really is.

This time, even the system pieced together the perfect line.

"Alsanna, do whatever."

"Y-Yes!? D-Do whatever!?"

I meant what do you wanna do? Anything all day.

Regrettably, this world lacked dopamine compared to modern times.

I played chess with Alsanna. Naturally, I crushed her utterly.

"A-Again!!"

Again. Won three in a row.

"Uwoong..."

Alsanna pouted, arms crossed. Her already violent bust mashed even bigger.

"Question! Can I use bishop powers?"

"Response. Yes, miss."

"...Get ready!"

Heh heh heh.

Alsanna smirked triumphantly, clasping her hands.

"We pray to the Lord: look upon us and guide our path."

Holy power gathered, flowing from her hands into the chessboard.

"Holy Path".

Alsanna's white pieces lit up with their optimal paths.

No miracles on a chessboard, damn it.

"Last loss makes you officially clumsy, got it?"

Alsanna's smug face crumbled into tears.

"Wh-Why...? The Lord helped me...?"

"Clumsy clumsy."

Your pieces' paths? I saw them too.

"N-Not clumsy!! ...Huh?"

Holy power scattering on the board coalesced into a beam. Pointing outside the residence, north.

Alsanna's face darkened as she traced the beam.

"...Something's coming from beyond the wall. Gotta tell the knights."

"Your Excellency! Monsters sighted!"

The knight captain burst in. Alsanna hesitated, then slapped her cheeks.

"I'll go too. In case someone gets hurt."

"But..."

"Field duty is a priest's right and obligation. No Grand Duke here, so we ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠go together."

Her words were bold, but her hands shook. Scared, obviously.

"...Hey. Tin Can."

Alsanna glanced my way.

She wanted me to come along, clearly.

The wall's gates opened, knights arrayed. Behind them, one automaton, the Holy Kingdom's bishop, and two paladins followed.

Two-legged boulders approached from the horizon.

Golems.

Monsters formed from mana clumps binding natural matter.

They wandered aimlessly, occasionally heading south toward the wall. Motives unknown.

But left alone, they'd crumple gates and tear down outer walls with raw power.

The sortieing knights chatted casually to block them.

"Newbies? Watch close."

"Aim for the core. Blades won't cut elsewhere—careful."

The knight captain scanned from the vanguard.

Acting separately, as expected.

Monsters were beast-like at core. Near-zero intellect, no tactics.

If golems formed ranks with that overwhelming physique...

Hell.

The knights here might scatter like leaves.

"Your Excellency, stay back. Heal any wounded, please."

"Y-Yes."

"...Automaton. Protect the bishop."

"Response. Yes, miss."

The knight captain flashed a grin at rearguard Alsanna and dropped his visor.

"Eh...?"

Then, anomaly.

The scattered golems synchronized. They raised left arms in unison, shielding their sole weak point: the core.

The golems had formed ranks.

"K-Knight Captain?"

"Those things, could it be..."

Mouth dry as bone. Someone was commanding mindless monsters.

A humanoid rose atop a golem's head.

Tiny horns sprouting from its skull. Ripped maw, crimson eyes.

Demonkin.

"Orders, sir! Retreat?"

"No Grand Duke, and now this...!"

The knight captain gulped as the demonkin drew a crude staff.

"Magitech rifle confirmed! Looks like..."

"A sniper!"

Knights panicked at the unforeseen. Too late to cover. Shields up, but everyone knew.

Aim on you meant death.

"Friendly snipers?"

"Out of range! Too far from the wall!"

And Alsanna couldn't keep up.

Wh-What's happening?

Her combat experience? Academy drills only. Field duty a few times, but rear-guard healing.

Never frontline raw like this.

"Your Excellency! I'll protect you!"

Thwack.

The paladin shielding her lost an arm. Heavy gunshot followed.

"Leopold!"

"Your Excellency! It's targeting you!"

Alsanna froze mid-run to the paladin.

What? Me? Why!?

I-I'm a priest. Can't even fight properly.

Beyond shock, the demonkin's barrel glinted. Unmistakably aimed at her.

Alsanna froze solid.

She'd fantasized saving people on the battlefield countless times. All pointless.

...Gonna die. This is it.

So much left undone. More innocents to help. Freira's health... Should've tried dating at least.

In her final silly thought.

A shadow fell over her teary face.

"Tin Can...?"

"Step back."

The black-haired man extended his right arm without a flicker of hesitation. A mechanical tell.

His arm deformed, revealing an electric saw.

"Y-You'll die! Can't block that!"

"..."

Alsanna realized she was clutching Hamel.

Automatons existed to die for humans.

The Holy Kingdom drilled it in: no souls in tin cans.

Yet she kept thinking: Don't die.

Of course, she didn't know.

That her gift would turn the tide.

Hamel readied his electric saw—Limb Severance.

Form 1 was plenty. Hell, Form 1 was romantic.

System logs raced across my vision. Someone screamed, but sound was gone.

Flash from the demonkin's barrel.

The moment Alsanna squeezed her eyes shut.

Ting-!

A crisp, clean metallic ring echoed across the snowfield.

The white tracer streaking straight from the barrel twisted upward like it hit a mirror.

"..."

Hamel turned to Alsanna, mouth agape.

"Deflected."