Caught Being Possessed
Alsanna repeated it to herself inwardly.
What did I just see? Bouncing bullets? ...Is that even possible?
She had once watched the Holy Kingdom's elite paladins fight from afar. They could twist bullet trajectories too, but she'd heard it was with holy power.
"H-how did you even do that...?"
To Alsanna, who lacked combat experience, Hamel's movements looked nothing short of miraculous.
The knight captain, who had been shouting for them to hold the line, was just as stunned.
At least Sword Expert level. That's the minimum to pull something like that off.
Even he, in perfect condition, couldn't guarantee he'd parry every bullet.
It was tough for a human to begin with. Only possible because he was an automaton.
...Not a civilian module. Something the Imperial Central Army would use. What the hell does he have equipped?
Even amid his strange suspicions, the knight captain rallied his knights. At least now they had a shot, so they had to fight.
Hamel, meanwhile, started advancing without any particular reaction.
"T-tin can sir?"
"Target: numerous beasts and demons. Commencing cleaning."
"What should I do...?"
"Response: assist with cleaning."
Alsanna gasped. The demons, perhaps sensing easy prey, targeted her relentlessly.
Not a single shot even grazed her hair. Metallic clangs rang out as every bullet was deflected.
A stoic man walked steadily in front of her, emotionlessly continuing his parries.
What can I do? Besides healing! What else?
Alsanna bit her lip hard as she followed behind. It was embarrassing enough to be saved by a machine—she couldn't become dead weight.
"I-I'll try a miracle! M-my purification miracle was a total flop, though...!"
No time to be picky. Alsanna clasped her hands and began chanting.
"I pray to the Lord God: envelop the innocent and smite evil. Let me, whom You placed in the priestly ranks, uphold Your law."
A long prayer. Without the tin can deflecting bullets in front of her right now, she'd be dead already.
So this prayer was just a little bit for You too—
"Upon those who defy Your providence, unleash the Lord's wrath."
Divine Punishment.
A bolt of lightning tore through the cloudless sky and struck down.
The bolt narrowly missed the golem's core that the demon was riding. Some outer plating chipped off, but the golem kept stomping away.
"A-a miss?"
"Warning: core output insufficient. Active Defense System offline."
"Eek!? S-sorryyy...!"
To make matters worse, Hamel declared he was retiring from parrying. Alsanna mulled over her incompetence, tears streaming down.
"B-because of me—"
"Resuming cleaning."
Thud. Thud.
Hamel just casually walked up and jammed his left arm straight into the golem's exposed plating.
The magitech rifle in his left arm unleashed mana rounds, injecting a massive dose of etiquette.
Magitech Rifle Unavailable
This time, he revved up the electric saw in his right arm and shredded the core.
"Ah?"
A cheerful explosion rang out, and the golem shattered to pieces. The demon on top burst like fireworks, limbs flying.
Rock fragments and flesh rained down like a storm.
"I-I survived..."
Hamel approached the collapsed Alsanna. No panting, no joy—just extending a hand.
"Do you require assistance?"
Thump.
Her heart pounded.
Wh-what? Why?
She was an ordained priest, after all. No way she'd catch feelings for a tin can after a few saves.
Yeah. Must be combat aftershock. We almost died, right!
Repeating that to herself, she grabbed his hand—and her heart thumped even harder.
Jet-black hair contrasting snow-white skin. Gloomy eyes. And a smile so human-like.
"Are you alright?"
"...Y-yeah."
Alsanna's head heated up; she bowed it.
...He is seriously handsome.
A sidelong glance confirmed his face was just a bit to her taste.
The knights reformed their lines. The rampaging golems exploded one by one soon after.
After turning the demon into biological fireworks, I was waiting in an appropriate spot at the Grand Duke's residence.
1-Form: Parry
[ACTIVATED]
Crunch.
This ain't it. This feeling's all wrong.
Tossing an apple up and self-parrying.
Why no-lifer users turn into parry addicts.
Half for the romance of bullet deflection, half for the handfeel. Heard some got ED from parry addiction.
"Bishop, our thanks for the healing miracle."
"No deaths—truly a blessing."
Footsteps approached. I cleared the apple. The knight captain and Alsanna entered.
"...You. What are you?"
The knight captain shot me a sharp glare. Not a Holy Kingdom priest, yet wary of me.
"B-but still... without tin can sir..."
"...Hmph. True. Many would've died. I'll keep watch—no funny business, automaton."
With Alsanna defending me, the knight captain grumbled and left.
Hm. Alone with Alsanna now.
"I thought it over carefully, and you're definitely weird, tin can sir."
Alsanna stared at me intently.
"I don't know much about fighting, but your moves... and that oddly human vibe. You don't seem like just a machine."
Eh? Hold up.
She didn't figure it out, right? No way our klutz bishop noticed.
Alsanna put hands on hips and stood on tiptoes.
"Tin can sir. You're possessed, aren't you?"
Wait, shit. Busted.
I'd planned to reveal there was a person in here eventually, but...
Never let the Holy Kingdom bastards find out!!
The Holy Kingdom's the original player's strongest backer. But I'm a tin can.
To them, automaton 'possession' means one thing.
- Possession detected!
- Demon-possessed!
- Melt it in lava! The Lord shall judge!
Tin can witch hunt incoming.
Time to silence her. A conk on the head might erase the memory?
"Shh! ...I know my actions were wrong. But you've helped me so many times, so..."
Alsanna lowered her voice like it was our secret.
"I won't tell the Holy Kingdom. I'll exorcise you myself!"
Almost hugged her. Too damn cute.
"W-wait. But if you exorcise the demon... you'll turn tin can sir back to normal, right!?"
Predictable misunderstanding. I'm no demon anyway. Exorcism'll fail.
"Then our chess memories... even when I soul-searched you and turned you into a klutz tin can... all gone!?"
Bullshit. You got soul-searched.
More importantly, enough with tin can. I got a name!
I shoved my face in hers.
"Eep!?"
"Recommendation: entity's name, Hamel."
"E-even so, I can't call you tin can as a name..."
Stared harder. Her cheeks flushed redder.
"Entity's name, Hamel."
"...Stop staring."
"Hamel Hamel Hamel."
"O-okayyy!"
Alsanna opened her mouth in a trembling voice.
"...Hamel."
Priest called the automaton by name.
Faith decreases.
Wait, why this again?
Does 0% mean she falls and gets excommunicated?
From klutz bishop to just klutz? Or unemployed?
Definitely bad news.
Alsanna puffed up seeing my silent scream.
"Already getting exorcised? I am kinda holy, huh!"
No, you klutz skull! You're being blasphemous!
No way to tell her, so I clutched my face—then good news.
"His Grace the Grand Duke has returned!"
Here comes my gift basket.
"Alsanna! You're not hurt? Demons appeared?!"
"Y-yes! I'm fine. ...Lady Karstein, walls have ears."
"Thank goodness. Really..."
Freira hugged Alsanna without decorum. Warm to her people, just like canon.
Freira rushed to me next. Looked worried.
"Hamel? You okay?"
"AGT-B04-259, butler flagship, Love Doll model, Hamel."
"Oh no! Must be broken!"
Not broken. Minor glitch where system logs yap randomly.
Gestures and recordings proved I was fine; Freira gripped my hand tight.
"I heard everything. You parried bullets? No idea how, but..."
The lady looked up at me.
"...Hamel. What are you, exactly?"
What? Possessed guy.
Here! Person inside!! Someone's trapped in the tin can!!
Didn't hear, apparently.
"Hamel feels alive. Impossible, but, ngh."
Squish.
The lady fiddled with my hand. Such slender, soft fingers.
Never thought that.
System logs invading my private thoughts now.
Behind, Ulrich and the knight captain talked gravely.
"Demons controlling beasts... Like ten years ago. But zero casualties?"
"That's... correct."
Knight captain eyed me distastefully but reported straight.
"Thanks to that automaton."
"Again. We owe it much."
"...Not normal moves. I'd say comparable to Imperial Central Army automatons."
"Good. His Majesty approved."
What? Some medal? Don't need it...
Ulrich raised his voice for all to hear.
"I bestow knighthood upon the automaton."
Brief silence, then murmurs. Mostly knights.
Even I dismissed it as a joke.
What bullshit.
But Ulrich's eyes welled like oceans.
This is real?
As expected, knight captain stepped forward. Looked ready to obstruct.
"...Your Grace."
"Adelheit. Your thoughts?"
The captain paused, then spoke.
"I think nothing. I follow my lord's will."
Ulrich's loyal hound Adelheit. Didn't expect instant buy-in.
But things don't go as planned. Two paladins pushed through—Alsanna's escorts.
"Grand Duke Karstein. Surely not serious."
"Noble blood is the Lord's gift. Bestowing titles at will is fitting, but not on soulless tin."
"...Ahem."
Here come the Holy Kingdom hardliners.
A cute cough slipped in.
"The Holy Kingdom won't approve. Reconsider."
"Ahem! Ahehem!!"
Our klutz bishop. Alsanna lowered her voice gently.
"Your Grace, I apologize for their rudeness."
"Bishop?"
"This is Your Grace's domain. Not even cathedral grounds. Holy Kingdom matters belong there."
Alsanna defended me with flowery words. This is why they call her a mama fan.
She got cocky defending me, face smug.
"It's soulless tin, true—but it saved many lives. Me included, many times. Oh, but tin can sir sucks at chess..."
Brainfart strikes again.
Alsanna thought she was killing it, then foot-in-mouth.
Freira watched from a step away, head tilting slowly, hair flowing like thin ice.
Smile.
Emerald eyes icily cold.
"Hamel sucks at chess...? Didn't know. Bishop Alsanna, getting friendly with my automaton?"
I know canon Freira well.
Infinitely kind to her people, mercilessly cold to enemies.
And that icy rage when someone takes what's hers.
"F-Freira? Not like that—"
"Bishop. Let me be clear."
The Grand Duke's lady leaned on me.
"This one's mine."
Employer displays possessiveness.
Relation changes.