Chapter 130
Chapter 130
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 130
Chapter Title: Hey! What the Hell is This Bitch?! She Shits Out Eggs the Second She Meets Me! What Kind of Egg Machine is She?!!!
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Have you ever imagined being stranded alone on an alien planet?
It's a terrifying thought.
No help from anyone, no way back to your original world.
Complete social isolation.
The fear of being cut off.
The terror felt by heroes thrown into dungeons must be on par with becoming lost in space.
In situations where they think they're done for, only to be revived, heroes often say things like this.
-I was reborn.
Park Hee-yeon must be feeling something similar.
"Kim Taeyang...!"
She hugged me tight.
She seemed to be sobbing in my arms.
Life and death.
How many times had she crossed that boundary?
Thinking about it, Park Hee-yeon had probably undergone the biggest change in mindset in this dungeon.
I decided to comfort her.
"Hey, hey! You bitch, are you seriously crying?! A grown-ass woman bawling her eyes out is fucking pathetic!! This is hilarious!!!"
...My own brand of comfort, anyway.
"Excuse me. Guild Master. I get that you're happy to be alive, but clinging to the Master like that is a huge breach of etiquette, you know?"
Seol Harin snapped, hand on her hip.
"Shouldn't you reflect on whether constantly meddling in Taeyang's affairs is overstepping your bounds?"
Lena followed up with a sharp retort.
Their eyes clashed, sparks flying.
Were these two just incompatible like different species...?
Still, I couldn't give up just like that.
I'd have to use the upcoming vacation to foster some camaraderie among the heroines.
"Taeyang. Sorry. That was rude of me... "
Park Hee-yeon no longer spoke down to me.
"Could you come with me for a moment?"
"Huh? What for?"
"There's someone you absolutely have to meet."
Her eyes were strangely clear.
Too clear, almost unsettling...
Well, she wouldn't do anything weird to her lifesaver.
The place she led me to was none other than the guild master's office.
By then, I had a pretty good idea who I'd be meeting.
"Hey! What the hell is this super cute ant?!"
Inside the guild master's office was an ant farm.
Just like Cloé had mentioned before.
"These are the Antus. Unique Constellations that form contracts with stocks."
Antus.
Gods of stocks.
Constellations in the form of ants, where their stock prices directly represent their power.
There are apparently multiple colonies, each sharing the fate of their stocks.
Delisting must be like the death of an entire Antus kingdom.
"When I saw you in the dungeon, Taeyang, I was certain. You're the true leader who can guide our Justice."
"Hey. Aren't you the guild master?"
"Yes. But I need your help, Taeyang. Same for these Antus right now."
Park Hee-yeon nodded toward the ant farm.
As if telling me to greet the ants.
I peered into the ant farm.
"Whoa~ This queen ant's got a solid head, chest, and ass—perfect for popping out eggs like crazy-☆"
"Kit...?!"
Queen Antus.
She definitely looked like an ant.
The regular Antus next to her did too.
The key differences from real ants were their behavior and language.
"Lord Taeyang...!"
"Taeyang...? That Taeyang messing with the stock prices?!"
"Dieeeee!!!"
Were these tiny ants looking up news about me or something?
The Antus seemed to recognize me.
The real chaos came next.
"Everyone! We overcame the guild dungeon incident!"
"Good news?"
"Jackpot good news! Zero casualties! Led by Kim Taeyang!!"
I had no idea what mechanism it was, but the Antus had their own info network.
Yammering about good news and bad news in real-time—they weren't much different from your typical stock bros on the internet.
And I had become their Elon Musk.
"Bro Taeyang!! Now's the time?! Should I buy now?!!!"
"Kim Taeyang's printing money!!!"
"All-in buy!!! Go go gooo!!!"
The ants suddenly went berserk.
The ones that looked half-dead all sprang up, chanting "Heave-ho!" as they marched in formation.
The biggest change was in the queen Antus.
"Ongot...! Stock price shooting up too fast...! Wallet's bulging, feels so goooood-!"
She flipped onto her back and strained with a "Nngh!"
Popopopopopopong-!
Eggs started pouring out from under her belly...!
"L-Laying eggs!"
Park Hee-yeon, watching from the side, covered her mouth.
I didn't know why she was so shocked, but it wasn't a bad sign anyway.
"Hey! What the hell is this bitch?! She shits out a ton of eggs the second she meets me! What a riot! What kind of egg machine is she?!! Hey!!!"
Pongpongpongpongpongpongpong!
"Oguk! Ongooo-♡"
The queen Antus's laying didn't stop.
"The Antus's last laying was five years ago! Thanks to you, Taeyang, our guild's unity will only grow stronger!"
As stock-parasite Constellations, they couldn't grant me a Stigma.
Still helpful, though.
Justice was basically the Church of Taeyang!
Stronger bonds among the faithful meant the same for the church.
Plus, it would help retain those unruly rankers.
"Taeyang! Reporters are swarming outside!"
Cloé burst in, panting.
"Why the panic?"
"What if the rankers say something stupid!"
"Nah, don't worry. I 'educated' all those bitches...!"
Rankers who nearly lost their Constellations.
They'd be giving nice, obedient interviews out of sheer terror.
But settling for that wouldn't be Kim Taeyang.
What does a blond tanning thug do?
Steals the opponent's woman!
Molds her to his tastes!
And shows her off to everyone!
"Hey. Sow. Bring it."
"Yes."
Seol Harin took out the item she'd prepared and placed it in my hand.
"Th-That’s...!"
Park Hee-yeon's pupils shook at the sight.
"Kukuku. Don't tremble? I'll pierce you nice and painless!"
Park Hee-yeon.
Time to etch into your body that this guild is mine!
*
Not long after Justice overcame the dungeon crisis.
Reporters flooded in.
Heroes' well-being? Not a priority.
"Interview, please!"
"Spare a moment!"
Top priority for interviews: the rankers, naturally.
"Jeong I-sol!"
"...!"
Reporters bombarded Jeong I-sol.
"The entire guild building turning into a dungeon was unprecedented! How do you feel?"
"Great!"
"We hear non-awakened were caught up too. Are they okay?"
"Great!"
"Is it true there were zero deaths?"
"Great...!"
"?"
Jeong I-sol had only one thought.
'If I piss off Kim Taeyang, I'm fucked!'
She'd lost her Constellation, Immortal Sage Zhang.
In exchange, Kim Taeyang promised a new 9-star match.
Whether he could deliver, who knew—but for now, she had to trust him.
The other rankers were in the same boat.
"Who shone brightest in the dungeon?"
"Kim Taeyang! Kim Taeyang!!"
"?"
Kim Taeyang was a dictator.
One slip-up, offending him?
'He'll take my Constellation!'
Ruthless payback awaited.
Of course, he'd never said he'd retaliate.
They were just scaring themselves...
Among the groveling rankers, competition sparked.
"Hero Kim Taeyang flashed east, dashed west! Grasping the world, shrinking a thousand li with a step, saving us all...!"
"Wait... does that even make sense? He's a first-year cadet."
"How dare you insult our Leader! Apologize!!"
"Leader? See? You've all been brainwashed by Kim Taeyang!"
Rumors were already swirling.
The Justice Human Ranch theory.
Kim Taeyang brainwashing heroes into livestock with his massive cock—a conspiracy theory.
"Justice Ranch theory is real!!!"
"All brainwashed!! Marinated in mega-dick pleasure!!!"
"Justice is fucked!!!"
In that shocking atmosphere.
One brave reporter stepped up.
"I'm Byeon Gi-yuna from Women's Times."
"Byeon Gi...? Pardon?"
"Byeon Gi-yuna. 'Byeon' is my mom's surname, 'Gi' is dad's."
"A name like toilet...?"
"Problem?"
"N-No... Ask away, Reporter Byeon Gi-yuna."
After declaring her surname "Toilet," she cleared her throat awkwardly and continued.
"Kim Taeyang is known as a misogynist. Did he continue sexist remarks and actions in the dungeon?"
"Absolutely not, Reporter Byeon Gi-yuna. Hero Kim Taeyang was fair and just, our pillar with his leadership and power."
"No way! He must've called women sows and trash! Answer properly! Women worldwide are watching!"
"I said no sexism! Sow Byeon!"
"Toilet's the surname, Yuna's the name! Unacceptable! I need to see for myself what's happening in the guild!!"
"H-Hey? Stop her!"
The guild lobby turned into pandemonium.
"Everyone, stop!"
High heels clicked.
Justice's guild master—and the one responsible for this mess—had arrived.
"Guild Master Park Hee-yeon...!"
"Camera on her!"
Cameras chase the story.
All eyes on Park Hee-yeon was inevitable.
"Calm down, everyone. I'll explain."
Click-click-
Flashes exploded nonstop.
In the chaos, she'd changed into a crisp suit.
Her looks matched the former guild master's dignity.
Her refined aura overwhelmed the reporters.
"It's true Kim Taeyang saved us all. And there was no sexism in the dungeon."
The same words carry different weight depending on who's saying them.
Park Hee-yeon was the one responsible.
Her words had gravitas.
Which made the shock even greater.
"Furthermore, from this moment, I declare full delegation of all operations to Kim Taeyang."
"What?"
"Meaning...?"
"Isn't Kim Taeyang no professional manager?!"
Stunned reporters questioned.
Park Hee-yeon smiled happily.
"He's not a manager. He's a god."
"?"
"I've received his blessing to become his servant. Behold!"
Park Hee-yeon undressed.
Not fully.
She opened her jacket and unbuttoned her shirt just at the navel.
Revealing a piercing.
Jingle-jangle-
The tacky navel piercing dangled, reflecting light, flaunting its holy grace.
"I am now Kim Taeyang's sow...♡"
Clickclickclickclickclickclick-!
Reporters fell silent.
Too busy snapping her navel to make a sound.
'Justice is fucked!'
They swallowed their shock.
*
Justice's stock price skyrocketed.
The whole guild wrapped in conspiracy theories.
Justice Human Ranch...?
Who the hell spread that nonsense?!
"Hey, hey! Guild Master Sow!! No cheating—pull without swinging!!!"
"Nngooo...!"
"After workout, chug all the sticky protein shakes I made!!! No human food for a while—just eat the feed I give you!!! Gotta wreck your dry-fat ass with diet management!!!!"
"Y-Yes, my looord...! I wiill...!!"
A man caring for every guild member's health.
Human ranch? More like paradise on earth.
Anyway.
The Church of Taeyang's grip on the guild was overwhelmingly stronger.
99% of members converted.
Dungeon crisis turned heroes and staff alike into devotees.
For that reason.
The Church of Taeyang prepared for another leap.
"Leader! Everything's ready! Please attend the Sun Festival with us lowly sows!"
It was Abigail.
She'd decreed some Sun Festival and notified me of the first event.
I'd told her it was budget waste, don't do it—but she ignored me.
Saw my refusal as humble virtue, got 200% moved, and prepared even grander.
Well... not bad, really.
Unity is my weapon.
If Justice becomes a unified powerhouse, that's a massive cheat for me.
Ignore the "cult" label.
Results will skyrocket stocks anyway.
"To commemorate the 1st Sun Festival, a gift from us sows!"
Guild gym.
A massive something stood in the center.
"A Leader statue, extra-large size!!!"
The tarp dropped, revealing it.
A gigantic 'Kim Taeyang Statue,' easily over 10m tall.
The packed gym of heroes erupted in cheers.
"Waaaaah!!!"
"Kim Taeyang! Kim Taeyang!"
"Leeeeader...! I love youuuu!!!"
"......"
What the fuck is this.
Scary. Stop.
"Look here, please! Please!!"
"Kyaaa! I'm dying!!"
"I really love you. Thank you. For being born... "
Why the hysteria?
Thinking it over, probably the Antus.
They used some Stigma to boost unity to insane levels.
Well, if the core is healthy despite the culty exterior, it's fine?
"Now, let the 1st Leader Cup Pull-Up Contest begin-!"
"Waaaaaaaah!!!"
Idolization budget ends with the statue.
Now, time to train the shit out of Justice heroes.
Turning them into Korea's #1, no—world's #1 guild!!!
"Kukuku. Pulling those pull-ups tight and clean, huh? Pull-up geniuses? Gold in pull-up Olympics easy.... We're holding the Olympics here!!! Hey!!!! Pull till you're soaked in sweat!!! 1st place sow gets dungeon priority, artifacts, vet training—I'll make her the guild's star!!! Got it?!!!"
Justice and the Church of Taeyang.
The legend starts with gym...!