Puberty? Menopause?
“Give up… on the hostage?”
It was an answer I hadn’t expected. Because it was so obvious.
“That’s right, nyang. If the hostage is too weak to escape and gets captured, shouldn’t you give up? Where’s the way to win without giving up?”
Mohanya’s usual playful tone was completely gone. The pressure she gave off was on an entirely different level from when Eris got serious.
“A hostage should never have been taken in the first place, nyang. The moment they’re captured, the match is already over—that’s how you have to think, nyang.”
“B-but you always have a solution. Even if a hostage is taken, there must be a way to overcome it…”
“Well, there probably is, nyang.”
Mohanya’s voice came from beside me. She had definitely been in front of me a second ago—yet I hadn’t seen her move at all.
“If you can kill the enemy faster than they can kill the hostage, nyang.”
Mohanya slowly walked back into view and continued.
“Or… there’s the psychological warfare route. You could take a hostage of your own and shout for them to release theirs, nyang.”
She stopped right in front of me and met my eyes. Seeing Mohanya, who was always full of mischief, looking so grave made it hard to breathe.
“The moment a hostage is taken, the situation turns against you, nyang. If you can’t save them, giving up is the best option, nyang. Mohanya has lost quite a few people that way, nyang.”
Her pupils had always been heart-shaped. But now they weren’t. They were vertical slits, like a real cat’s eyes.
“You live in a world where you never know when you’ll die, yet you’re scared of people dying? You’ve killed so many without batting an eye, but you can’t even imagine your precious ones dying?”
It was chilling. The most fantastical person I’d ever met was speaking in such realistic terms.
“Get a grip, nyang. If you don’t want hostages taken, become strong enough that no one can touch anyone, nyang. Or eliminate every possible threat so no one can be captured in the first place, nyang. If even that’s impossible, then strengthen the people you care about, nyang.”
—Because being so obsessed with fantasy that you ignore reality is foolish, nyang.
“You have to understand reality before you can create and enjoy fantasy, nyang. Think hard about why Fantasia ultimately fell, and how cold and merciless this reality really is, nyang.”
—Then I’m off. Next time we meet, I hope you’re no longer a foolish mutt asking stupid questions, nyang.
And Mohanya vanished. The crushing weight that had been pressing down on me disappeared. My legs gave out and I sank to the floor without meaning to.
“Haa…”
I hadn’t even been able to breathe properly under that atmosphere. No matter how much of a lunatic Mohanya seemed, she was a monster with a base combat power of ten thousand. With a sashimi knife in hand, that number jumped to a hundred thousand—her upper limit was unknowable. When a monster like that spoke seriously about reality, there was nothing I could say.
Yeah. Mohanya was right. It was an absurdly obvious answer. A hostage should never be taken in the first place, and if they are, it’s basically defeat. I wasn’t as strong as Mohanya, after all.
“What an idiotic question.”
Because Mohanya only showed up occasionally and acted ridiculous, and because spending time with Eris, Siz, and Yu Jin-ri was so enjoyable, I sometimes forgot. Even though the Leni Siss incident had been burned into my trauma, I still forgot whenever I was happy or feared losing that happiness. That this world was a noir world. That brutal gangsters ruled the city through cartels, and that victims were still shedding bloody tears at this very moment.
“…Mom.”
And that Mom was still fighting painful memories in the psychiatric hospital.
“No time to whine.”
Just like Mohanya always said, I couldn’t afford to complain. I took a deep breath, stood up, and scanned my surroundings again. I had to eliminate every possible risk of someone being taken hostage. That meant keeping suspicious people from entering the house.
“As long as it’s not one of the three major syndicates, I can handle anyone.”
The three major syndicates wouldn’t attack without justification. So it wasn’t my own life I was worried about—it was the organization members’.
That’s how I spent the night with my eyes wide open. The sun rose and morning came, but nothing happened. Thank goodness. Today would probably pass without incident. Thinking that, I headed into the workshop, only to see Yu Jin-ri stepping out of the lab with hollow eyes.
“A masterpiece… A true masterpiece has been born! This is a great discovery!”
What Yu Jin-ri was holding was Eris’s coat and a small staff. The staff had a tiny skull attached to the end—probably a compressed goblin shaman’s skull.
“Uungh… What’s that?”
Eris was still half-asleep, yawning and rubbing her eyes. Siz handed Eris a glass of water and explained.
“It’s the staff and coat Yu Jin-ri made overnight.”
“Wow! A staff?! Does that mean I can use magic now?”
“Probably! This is a great discovery, after all!”
Yu Jin-ri had dark circles under her eyes, but she was beaming, clearly delighted that she’d created something.
“Hurry, hurry! I want to try it!”
When Eris bounced over and demanded it, Yu Jin-ri handed over the staff, telling her to look forward to it. Eris grabbed it by the skull end and lifted it up.
“Ah, you’re not supposed to hold the staff like that.”
“Huh? I’m not supposed to hold it this way?”
“No. You have to hold it with the skull pointing upward. That skull acts as a vessel to compress magi.”
“What?! Then it’s not cool at all! A small staff like this is supposed to have a pointy end to look awesome!”
Oh, Eris. I completely agreed with that. A staff needed a pointed tip to look cool.
“But there was no helping it…”
Still, I doubted Yu Jin-ri didn’t know that. Theoretically, it couldn’t be helped. Whether Eris would accept that was another matter.
“Phew—since you stayed up all night making it, I’ll let it slide.”
Wow, Eris was letting it go? She’d grown up a little, hadn’t she? Though she’d always been an adult.
“Thank you for understanding! Next time, I’ll research even harder and make an even cooler staff. I’ll aim for a super great discovery!”
Yu Jin-ri nodded enthusiastically, fired up. Yeah, yeah, both of them were doing great. Still, petting Yu Jin-ri on the head felt awkward, so I’d just pat Eris instead.
“Good for you, hyung-nim agassi.”
“W-wah?!”
Eris’s reaction was strange. When I patted her head, she turned bright red and jumped in surprise. What was going on?
“What’s wrong? Are you sick?”
“N-no, I’m not…”
Eris glanced at me with flushed cheeks, then shook her head and cleared her throat.
“It’s nothing, so you don’t have to worry, hyung-nim!”
What the heck? Normally she’d just smile brightly like a little kid when I patted her head. No matter how I looked at it, that reaction was pure puberty. Could someone get puberty at twenty? Or was it already menopause…
“Hyung-nim agassi, are you already going through menopause?”
“M-menopause? There’s no way that’s happening yet.”
“Your face turned red, so…”
“T-this is because it’s hot! It’s just hot, so don’t worry about it!”
Watching Eris’s odd reaction, Yu Jin-ri blinked blankly with her sleep-deprived eyes.
“Why is she acting like that? Don’t tell me it’s because of the dryad branch? No, that can’t be it…”
“What do you mean?”
Yu Jin-ri glanced at Eris, then whispered in my ear.
“As you know, the dryad branch turns people into perverts. So it wouldn’t be strange if it made the boss, who used to be as pure as a child, start being conscious of you, Hyun-woo.”
“But you processed it and removed the effects, didn’t you?”
“Yes, I proved that myself. The whole time I was researching, I felt aroused, but now that it’s been turned into a staff, I don’t feel that way at all. Especially with the skull attached, it’s even less likely.”
“Then why is hyung-nim agassi acting like that?”
“Who knows… Maybe it’s because variables always exist in this world? Still, Eris didn’t really receive the branch’s effects to begin with, so she should be fine. It’s probably just a temporary symptom.”
What if it wasn’t temporary? Was my precious daughter-boss going to turn into a middle-school girl in puberty mode? If going through that process made her more mature, it wouldn’t be a problem. Though it would be a shame.
“So how do I use magic with this?”
“Normally, you’d use the magi mixed in the atmosphere. But since the boss has magi poisoning, she has an enormous amount of magi accumulated in her body.”
According to Yu Jin-ri, if you could actually use magic, magi poisoning was basically a genius-level talent. Normally, magi didn’t accumulate in a person’s body.
“People with magi poisoning can store massive amounts of magi in their bodies in an instant. They’re literally walking magi tanks!”
“As a scholar, could you please stop using such crude terms?”
I clicked my tongue, but Yu Jin-ri paid no attention and kept explaining.
“So hold the staff and try concentrating for a moment. Feel the magi accumulated in your body. It’s not concentrated in one spot—it’s spread evenly throughout your entire body, you know?”
If you can feel it, keep imagining moving all of it into the skull on the magic staff. Then it’ll really move.
“Okay! I’ll try!”
Eris narrowed her eyes sharply and shouted,
“Wingardium Leviosa!”
But nothing happened.
“Avada Kedavra!”
She kept going.
“Stupefy!”
“Crucio!”
She earnestly recited Harry Potter spells, but—
“Expecto Patronum!”
Nothing happened at all.
“Those aren’t Harry Potter spells. That’s basically Magikarp’s Splash level.”
“What?! Did you just call me a Magikarp, hyung-nim?!”
“N-no…”
“Whether I’m a Magikarp or not, just watch! This time I’m really going to do it properly!”
Did this world call Magikarp “Magikarp the useless” or something? Both names had similar meanings anyway.
“Boss, if you can’t feel the magi well, you might want to try using the magi poisoning treatment. You know that cool sensation you get when you use the medicine? That’s the feeling of suppressing the accumulated magi so it doesn’t run wild. The parts without magi won’t feel cool.”
That meant the places that felt cool were where the magi was, so it would be easier to approach.
“Really? Then I should give it a try!”
Eris pulled a cigar from her pocket, snipped the tip with a cutter, lit it with a lighter, and put it in her mouth. Smoke spread thickly. Eris grinned around the cigar like she’d figured something out.
“Alright, I get it! I don’t need any spells!”
She didn’t need spells? Was it non-verbal magic? That was impressive.
“That’s right! Magic doesn’t actually need spells. Spells are just something the media adds to make it look cool.”
That couldn’t be right. If all magic was non-verbal, how unromantic was this world? Chanting spells was part of the magic fantasy.
“Exactly, exactly. Only the knights who used simgi ever used spells. They’d chant spells to dramatically draw out their aura blades!”
At this point, the author who created this world had to be some kind of idiot. I watched Eris, hoping her words were just a joke. She seemed to have gotten the hang of it—the skull on the staff began to vibrate. Then a massive glowing sphere formed.
“H-huh? Why is this so big?”
“Whoa! This is bad—I can’t control it!”
“You can’t control it? Aaaah! Everyone run! It’s going to explode!”
“Even if I die, I’ll die by Eris’s side…”
“Hwaaaah, Siz! Don’t say that and run away!”
Eris burst into tears and told everyone to run, but it was already too late. The enormous sphere had engulfed the entire workshop.
“Aah… Let there be light—”
God, please let us survive this explosion.