What the Hell Is Missing in This World?
Let me cut to the chase: we survived.
Not a single scratch on any of us. We were all perfectly, ridiculously fine. Except for Eris.
“Huu… hueee…”
Even though that massive sphere of light had crashed down on us, nobody was hurt. Hell, not even a single object was broken. Everything was intact. Meanwhile, Eris staggered around like she was drunk, spinning in a dizzy dance before collapsing to the floor.
“Lady Eris!”
Since everyone else was fine and only Eris was acting strange, I rushed over to check on her. She was drenched in cold sweat, gasping for breath.
“Hyu… Hyun-woo… I feel like I’m gonna die…”
“Yu Jin-ri! Why is Lady Eris like this?”
“Y-yes?”
Yu Jin-ri had still been cowering in fear, but when she heard my perfectly normal voice, she finally snapped out of it and assessed the situation. After examining Eris’s condition from every angle, she nodded as if she understood.
“It’s because a massive amount of magi was released all at once. It’s similar to anemia.”
“Similar to anemia? Magi is bad for the body, so why would it cause symptoms when it leaves?”
“People suffering from magi poisoning have bodies that crave magi. Their constitutions are built to accumulate it. We haven’t figured out exactly why they crave it, but having a huge amount expelled in one go is definitely not good.”
“So does this happen every time Lady Eris uses magic?”
“If she could use magic properly, nothing like this would happen. The problem is that our boss isn’t used to casting spells yet.”
“So that’s what it was…”
With Eris’s condition explained, Siz brought over some water and began nursing her, carefully helping her drink.
“Next question. Why did Eris’s magi explode, yet the rest of us are completely fine?”
“That puzzled me too, so I’ve been running hypotheses. I’ve come up with one that seems to fit all the evidence perfectly.”
“And that is?”
“The magi that Boss’s body accepts and accumulates loses its aggressive properties and instead gains healing power.”
“What…?”
“Look at my eyes as proof. The dark circles are gone, right?”
Now that she mentioned it, Yu Jin-ri’s eyes—which had been sunken and ringed with exhaustion from all-nighters—were now bright and clear. They were so sparkling that I actually felt the urge to smack her.
“You’re right. I feel wide awake too.”
I’d been exhausted from staying on guard all night, but now I felt completely refreshed.
“Wide awake, you say?”
Yu Jin-ri’s gaze dropped straight to my lower body.
“I’d love to see just how wide awake you are. Purely out of scientific curiosity, of course.”
This crazy bitch. I told her to do it with the person she loves, but she’s just obsessing over me and trying to satisfy her own perverted curiosity. I’m never sleeping with her, so she can go fuck herself.
“Stop talking nonsense and figure out how to help Lady Eris control her magi.”
“There’s no shortcut. The only way is practice.”
“So you’re saying I should just let her keep passing out every day?”
“What else can we do? That magi originally couldn’t even be used without a staff. This is the best we can manage right now. If we focus only on solvable problems through practice and neglect more important research, that would be the real loss.”
“More important research, huh. So what’s your next research topic?”
“There are many things to study, but the biggest issue is that Boss’s magi lacks any aggressive properties.”
“Can’t that be fixed by using the magi in the atmosphere?”
“No. Atmospheric magi still passes through the user’s body once before being cast, so it will be affected by Boss’s influence.”
“Then what should we do?”
“The advanced theories of magic were erased by the God of War, so at present, the best option is to research magi circuits, refine them, and then implant them.”
“Magi circuits?”
“Yes, magi circuits. Remember how I said atmospheric magi passes through the body once before use? That pathway is called a magi circuit. Magi must pass through a magi circuit to become magic. The reason Boss’s magic has healing properties is also due to the shape of his magi circuit.”
“Can you actually research something like that?”
“It would be possible if we used patients with magi poisoning. If only I had that staff…”
“Explain in detail.”
“The methodology for using atmospheric magi has been lost. If it still existed, anyone could practice magic with a staff.”
But as I’ve said repeatedly, that methodology is gone.
“Therefore, the only option is to practice using one’s own bodily magi, then use that foundation to guide the use of atmospheric magi. The only beings capable of that are those with magi poisoning.”
In other words, we’d have to support magi poisoning patients in learning magic in order to research their magi circuits.
“You’re smart, Mr. Hyun-woo, so I’m sure you can see the problem that arises here.”
“Yeah, I think I get it. Since the magi circuit is inside the body, we’d have to dissect them to study it, right?”
“Correct. If we dissected them, we could replicate and refine it as much as we wanted.”
Teach magic to a magi poisoning patient, then dissect them. Wasn’t that something no decent human being should ever do? And if the patient resisted and refused, who knew what kind of crisis that might trigger.
“But you brought this up anyway, which means you already have a solution, don’t you?”
“Exactly. Have you ever seen me suggest something without a plan?”
Yu Jin-ri smiled confidently and pushed up her glasses. I really wanted to smash those glasses.
“Humans have forgotten how to use magic, but monsters still use it. And among those monsters, some possess multiple magi circuits in a single body.”
“So if we research those monsters, we can create and implant magi circuits?”
“Precisely!”
“Then who the hell is supposed to catch those monsters, you crazy bitch?”
When I stared at her in disbelief, Yu Jin-ri looked back at me with sparkling eyes.
“I nearly died catching a single goblin, and now you want me to catch a magic-using monster?”
“Yes!”
“I can’t just throw this problem at the monsters either.”
“Hmm, so you’re not going to do it? It’s absolutely necessary for Boss’s magic, though.”
“The problem isn’t killing them, you idiot. It’s that you’re telling me to capture them alive. If I just had to kill them, I’d find a way somehow.”
“Don’t worry about that! The Esper Hunters have developed and are selling tools specifically for live capture!”
“The Esper Hunters…?”
Scientific research was usually handled by Carpediem, so hearing the Esper Hunters’ name suddenly thrown in was surprising.
“Yes! The Black Tortoise Guild possesses quite advanced scientific capabilities. Their guild master, Min Ga-yeon, is a scientist I deeply admire. She’s truly an amazing person!”
I took out my phone and searched for Min Ga-yeon. Her face appeared immediately—Master of the Black Tortoise Guild among the Esper Hunters. She was a woman wearing a black choker and glasses. Her sharp eyes held purple pupils that gave her a piercing look, though the half-rim glasses softened it somewhat. Her bangs slightly revealed her forehead while covering one eye, and her hair had soft waves. The result was a perfect coexistence of a cold, intellectual image and a relaxed, leisurely one.
What was the Black Tortoise, after all? A creature that was a mix of snake and turtle. If Choi Ji-ah of the Vermilion Bird Guild only resembled her namesake in color, Min Ga-yeon of the Black Tortoise Guild truly embodied the image of the Black Tortoise itself.
But those purple eyes meant she was definitely a possessor. What trash.
“Hey, stop admiring her. Her eyes are purple. She’s a possessor.”
“I admire her brain, not her humanity. Is that a problem?”
“Then it’s fine.”
If it was her ability that was admirable, I couldn’t really argue. No matter how rotten someone was, if there was something worth respecting, it made sense to respect it.
“So what do I search to find this live-capture device for monsters?”
“Oh! Just search for Monomusuhwa Collar!”
“Monomusuhwa…?”
What the fuck kind of name is that? Back when I was an orphan, I’d done a lot of otaku shit to escape reality. That’s why I knew what “monmusu” meant. Monster Musume—monster girls. It referred to fictional characters that mixed monster and human traits to create female forms.
But Monomusuhwa Collar? It sounded exactly like if you put it on that goblin shaman I killed, it would instantly turn her into a shrine maiden goblin girl.
“No way, right?”
“What?”
If I said it out loud, I might get treated like a degenerate otaku. I had to watch my words until it was revealed that this world itself was degenerate.
So I searched for Monomusuhwa Collar.
“Why… why do the prices range from one million won all the way up to a billion?”
There were countless varieties of collars, and their prices were spread across an absurd range. I decided to read the description.
◈ Basic forms include choker-style accessories and traditional collar designs.
◈ Simply put it on a monster and it will transform into a beautiful young lady!
◈ All monstrous powers are completely sealed, turning them into ordinary humans.
◈ Want pure, wholesome romance with an adorable monster girl? Buy the choker!
◈ Want to train, ravish, dominate, and then enjoy pure love with an adorable monster girl? Buy the collar!
◈ Higher prices result in greater similarity to human form. For example, on a cat-type monster:
◈ Cheap collars produce fluffy-furred beastkin that satisfy only niche tastes.
◈ A 1 billion won collar creates an adorable cat-eared girl! She’ll look like a human wearing cosplay.
◈ If you have niche tastes, a cheaper model is fine~
◈ However, if you don’t want to be socially crucified as a pervert, keep her locked up at home.
◈ Note: Even if they look human, their intelligence does not increase. We do not recommend using these on low-intelligence monsters unless you have very specific tastes.
◈ These items have no effect on humans, so please do not use them on humans! They are meaningless!
◈ ※Warning: If the choker comes off during particularly intense “wholesome romance,” the monster will revert. Please be careful.
“This… seems like it would have a very limited customer base.”
“It is a bit disturbing, isn’t it? There are plenty of normal human women. Why catch monsters and turn them into girls?”
“Still, it’s a relief there’s a one-million-won option. It won’t be too much of a burden.”
“What are you talking about? We have to buy the one billion won version.”
“Why? Why on earth?”
“Because if the form isn’t close enough to human, we won’t be able to research the magi circuit through dissection and implantation. The magi circuits of humans and monsters are fundamentally different in structure.”
“Where the hell are we supposed to get a billion won…?”
“That’s why we have to earn it somehow!”
Easy for her to say, damn it. I wanted to take the IOU and shake down every bastard I could find, but I couldn’t risk Eris getting ambushed in the meantime.
“We didn’t bring spare clothes anyway, so let’s just head home.”
“Sounds good! Thanks to Boss’s magic, I feel completely refreshed!”
Though thanks to that same magic, Eris looked like she was about to die. Still, since I felt perfectly fine now, I scooped Eris up in my arms. Her body was so light that even carrying her in a princess hold felt like nothing.
“Let’s think about it once we get home. For breakfast… I guess we’ll just order some black bean noodles.”
And so we returned home, where we were able to pick up our third Red-Eyed Mad Dog.
It was an obvious warning message. I wondered if it was okay to order black bean noodles, but since it was broad daylight and there was no justification for them to cause trouble, they probably wouldn’t. Besides, Eris wasn’t in any condition to eat outside, so eating at home was better.
Soon after, there was a knock at the door. Thinking the noodles had arrived, I opened it.
“P-please… save me…”
There stood Baekgom, his pure white body drenched in red blood. Even the title above his head was gone.