Have You Started to Like Me a Little? (1)
Have You Started to Like Me a Little? (1)
I opened my eyes to the sunlight streaming in from the window.
I saw an unfamiliar ceiling—something that felt familiar, yet different from the room I used to stay in.
"..."
Even after closing my eyes and opening them again, it was still the same.
The sunlight gently shining on my face—not enough to be unpleasant—wasn't bad at all, and the fluffy blanket felt nice, too.
So, I just turned my head to look to the side.
The side, yes, right next to me.
"..."
Seo Arin was there. In the same room, on the same bed, she was lying right next to me.
"...Uh."
A small sound leaked out of my mouth.
Seeing her eyes closed and hearing her steady breathing, it looked like she was asleep.
As I counted her slightly messy hair, my brain slowly started to function.
"..."
Wondering if this was right, I started racking my brain to figure out how this happened.
...Yesterday, in front of the door. My wrist being grabbed in that cold air.
'Don't run away.'
Remembering the words Seo Arin spat out at me made my body feel itchy for some reason.
And.
'Teach me... ...love.'
As I remembered what I said, my breath hitched.
Why did I say that?
I gripped the pillow tightly; I was so embarrassed that my hands were trembling slightly.
That embarrassment was only for a moment, and I started to think a little more. ...So, why am I here?
Thinking about it slowly, it seemed like my memory cut off in the middle, perhaps because I had collapsed from exhaustion.
"..."
Since I wasn't fully awake, my brain wasn't working well, so I just looked to the side and there was Seo Arin.
In the place I looked while forcing my eyes open, which were trying to close because I was sleepy.
She was at a distance that felt close, maybe even too close.
Calming my heart at a distance where I could reach her if I just stretched out my arm a little, I heard Seo Arin's breathing.
The warm air coming from Seo Arin's body touching me felt nice, too.
"..."
I debated whether to reach out; it was a distance I could touch if I just stretched my hand out a little.
But, would it be okay if I approached her?
But unlike those thoughts, my body moved little by little.
Instinctively, just a tiny bit.
"..."
I still didn't know how far was okay, or where she would start to dislike it.
So I moved with an even more cautious heart, then stopped.
Is this okay? Is this much okay?
As if reading the room, I perked up my ears and focused on Seo Arin's breathing.
Steady breathing; thankfully, it didn't seem like she had woken up.
So a little more, just a tiny bit more. I approached quietly, as if sliding my body in.
Just enough so that it wouldn't be noticeable, not even making the sound of the blanket brushing against us.
Persuading myself with the excuse that "this much is probably fine," I missed the timing to stop.
While I was moving forward like that, our eyes met.
"... You're awake."
A low voice that sounded like she hadn't fully woken up.
"...Yeah."
My body, which had been moving sideways, stopped—the movement, and my breath, too.
"..."
Seo Arin looked at me; she didn't say anything, she was just looking.
"..."
So I just looked back; my eyes, which usually avoided hers on their own, were looking straight ahead this time.
"... Why are you looking at me like that?"
"... I don't know."
I said it honestly. It wasn't a statement I had really thought through, because there was no need to lie.
"... Hah."
Seeing me like that, she let out a small sigh and raised her hand.
Then. Her hand came up over my head.
"..."
My face turned slightly red.
Since Seo Arin wasn't a dangerous person anymore, there was no reason to avoid her.
"No fever."
".. Uh, yeah."
I stuttered for a moment because I was flustered, but she didn't seem to care.
Seo Arin, who had said that in a nonchalant way, moved her hand further up as if she were relieved.
My bangs being slowly swept away felt good. Enough to make my eyes gently close.
Like that, she slowly swept my hair upward.
"..."
My eyes closed naturally, and then.
I stayed still, I didn't do anything.
Because if I moved, it felt like this would stop, like this moment would end, so I just stayed still.
"Stay still."
"...Yeah."
I answered immediately, even though I was already doing that.
Every time her hand moved over my head, my body felt itchy, but I tried not to move.
Her hand kept moving.
The same spot, the same speed, even the gaze looking at me—everything was the same.
I liked that so much; I don't know what emotion this is, but I wanted this moment to last forever.
"..."
But I got a little greedy.
As much as my body felt itchy, no, twice as much, my chest felt itchy.
The unfamiliar feeling I was experiencing for the first time was strange, but I still liked it. So I moved my head more, moved my body more.
With that hand, a little more.
"Hey."
"...Mm."
"... Stop moving, it's already cramped."
"Okay."
I stopped my moving body.
It was a little disappointing, but since Seo Arin didn't like it, I didn't want to do it, but it was still a little disappointing.
So I stayed still for a little bit, then moved again.
Wiggle, wiggle. Like a bug moving, just a little bit more to the side.
"Hey."
"Uh.., yeah."
"... I'm telling you, it's really cramped."
"Okay."
I said that, but my body didn't stop.
A little more, just a little more. As if craving the space next to her. I kept wiggling forward to the side.
My arm, my body.
They were closer to her body; the warm heat felt good.
"..."
She looked at me for a moment.
Still, her hand didn't stop.
It was strange; clearly, until yesterday, Seo Arin was a scary person I disliked.
Now, it felt like being apart was scarier.
"..."
So I stuck closer; I don't know the reason, but it made me feel more at ease.
I could definitely feel myself feeling better; I wanted to get closer to Seo Arin little by little.
The person who was scary until yesterday wasn't scary anymore.
A little, a little closer. I wiggled and moved, pretending I didn't know.
"You."
"Why?"
"You're doing this on purpose right now, aren't you?"
"... No."
I lied, but I was confident. It felt like lying to her was bad, but thinking about it again, it didn't seem like it.
I feel better now that I'm even slightly closer than before, so why does she keep stopping me?
Even though she even hugged me yesterday.
"... Hah."
This time, she let out a slightly deeper sigh.
It was a different feeling than before, but she looked at me for a moment with a gaze that seemed to contain the worry of "What do I do with this?" and stopped her hand.
But no matter how she breathes, or what kind of look she gives me, I'm trying not to care too much now.
Since she told me for the first time that she wouldn't abandon me. I wanted to trust Seo Arin a little more.
But her hand stopping was a bit...
"... Hmph."
Perhaps because of that, I tried to express the maximum amount of dissatisfaction I could, as if letting air out of my body.
Even so, it was just snorting, but that was the maximum protest I could make.
I wanted her to do more; it was some kind of indescribable itchiness.
"Why."
"... It's nothing."
I shook my head, but I should have just been a little honest and said I wanted her to stroke me more.
So, full of spite, I moved closer to her.
"You really..."
"... Why."
It was a little lacking, but I could have been satisfied with this much, but I tried to be a little more greedy.
I also thought, "What if she hates it?" fearing that maybe the reason her hand stopped was because she suddenly started to dislike me.
So I paused for a moment, but because I wanted to go further, I ignored her words about it being cramped and tilted my head up slightly to show her.
Seo Arin seemed to just be staring, wondering what I was trying to do this time.
"..."
"... Here."
Because it was a close distance, I whispered softly.
"What."
"Here too..."
This time, I stuck my head out a little more, gesturing with my chin to Seo Arin to emphasize it even more.
I also moved my body closer.
"Will you stroke me...?"
"..."
A moment of silence, it wasn't very long.
Because after that, Seo Arin broke the silence by swallowing deeply.
"... You really."
At her slightly troubled words, I thought "That's a shame" and tried to move on.
Seo Arin's hand moved gently, under my chin.
"..."
Neither of us said anything.
My breath stopped; I was so nervous that I even paused breathing for a moment.
After that short moment that felt like an eternity, Seo Arin's hand touched my chin and slowly stroked it.
.. Mm.
"Like that."
That tension melted away like snow as soon as her hand touched my chin.
I felt like she was cherishing me, so a strange sound leaked out; the sensation of the itchy feeling slowly disappearing was really nice.
Every time she stroked my chin, it was like electricity passed through me, and my body twitched.
While I was engrossed in the sensation of her touching my chin, I didn't even notice her hand slipping out from under my chin.
"...Ah."
Is she really only doing this much? It would be nice if she did a little more.
I pressed my body closer to Seo Arin, to the distance where her lowered hand was just about to touch me.
"Really..., is this the end...?"
With a slightly disappointed heart, I grabbed her collar and moved closer.
And looking at Seo Arin's face, which seemed slightly flushed as if flustered by the close distance, I whispered softly.
"... Do a little more."