Have You Grown to Like Me a Little? (2)
Have You Grown to Like Me a Little? (2)
"...Do it a little more."
Only after the words left my mouth did my heart start pounding for no reason.
It was already over, she'd already done it once earlier.
But the words were already out; there was no taking them back.
"Hey."
"...Yeah."
"I just did it once."
"...That's right."
"Then why are you asking me to do it again?"
"Because I like it."
I hesitated a bit with other answers, but I didn't hesitate at all with that last one.
"...Hah."
A short breath escaped her; it didn't seem like she was annoyed.
Just... like she was at a loss for words? It felt like that.
"You shouldn't throw around words like 'like' so carelessly."
"...Okay. So, just do it one more time."
"...Hey."
"It's really the last time..."
I whispered to her one more time, from a distance so close that if I leaned in any further, we'd bump into each other.
"Here..."
I jutted my chin out a little more.
To show Seo Arin, so she could see clearly and pet me.
"It feels good when you touch here."
"...I think it's even better because it's you."
Saying that, I waited for her touch.
"No."
"...Just one more time..."
"No, I already did it once—"
Seo Arin saw the look in my eyes and stopped mid-sentence.
It felt like she was angry, and while it was faint before, this time it was certain.
I saw a faint flush adding itself to her snow-white skin.
"...Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Why?"
This time I really didn't know, so I asked. How was I looking at Seo Arin?
"...Hah."
This time she took a deep breath, then sighed and looked at me.
I could see the tips of her ears turning a little red at the edges of her face.
"Why are you avoiding it?"
"...I didn't avoid it."
"You did avoid it."
"...I didn't."
"Then look at me."
At my words, Seo Arin, seemingly at a loss for what to say, stayed quiet for a moment before throwing a question at me.
A question I never thought Seo Arin would ask.
"Why are you going this far?"
"...I told you earlier, because it feels good."
"No, not that, properly."
"...Properly?"
"Yeah."
I fell into thought for a moment at that question.
Why do I trust her this much? The contemplation didn't last long.
Yeah, that's probably because.
"...Because you."
"You said you wouldn't abandon me."
"I did."
"So."
"I want to confirm it."
"Confirm?"
"...Yeah."
"And because you."
"Are the person who likes me the most in the world."
"..."
I held back from saying she was different from other people.
I didn't want to lump Seo Arin in with other people anymore; she's a special person.
Seo Arin's question helped clear up my own feelings a little.
"So..."
"Is it okay for me to get close like this?"
"...It's okay."
"If you don't like it, I won't get any closer."
"If you don't like it, I don't like it either."
"I told you it's okay."
"...But can I ask you one thing too?"
"Ask."
Between the immediate answers, I got curious about something and wanted to ask.
"...If I cling to you like this."
"Do you think you'll get sick of me someday?"
I tried my best not to associate Seo Arin with other people, but I had seen a situation like this once before.
Father spent more time with other women than with Mother.
The reason was nothing special; he said he got sick of Mother because she clung to him too much.
So, wouldn't I be abandoned too if she got sick of me? That was so scary.
"I... I didn't want to ask because I was scared, but I asked."
Only after saying it did my breathing start to get a little ragged.
Did I say it for no reason? Still, now, not asking was scarier.
I wanted an answer; I was curious about what she would say.
"..."
Seo Arin didn't answer right away.
But she didn't avoid me like she did when she was blushing earlier either.
She was looking at me with a quite serious expression.
"Who said that?"
"...Huh?"
I opened my mouth to speak, then paused for a moment.
"..."
"You're saying that because of something that happened to you in the past."
"...What?"
"That I'd abandon you if I got sick of you."
"...Father."
I answered shortly.
"...He said it to Mother."
"And?"
"...So..., I just thought it was like that."
My gaze dropped slightly.
I liked her, but I didn't want her to come to dislike me.
Because I approached her. I really hated the idea of being abandoned because she got sick of me or started to dislike me.
"...Getting sick of someone means you dislike them."
"..."
"I was afraid you'd be like that too."
Seo Arin said nothing.
Her expression crumpled slightly, but it wasn't scary. No, maybe it was a little scary.
"Hey."
"..Yeah."
"It's weird to treat a precious person like that."
In a low voice, Seo Arin continued calmly.
"Hah..."
"Have I ever done that to you?"
"...N-no."
As I lifted my lowered head, our eyes met.
"So, don't think things like that for no reason."
"...Yeah."
Hearing those short but confident words made me feel a bit more at ease.
And I felt relieved; I was just a nuisance, and we hadn't even met formally.
Being in the position of someone who was picked up and raised, she told me I was precious.
I was so grateful for that.
"...Thank you."
"For saying I'm a precious person."
"I won't abandon you, and I won't get sick of you either."
Won't abandon.
Those words sounded clearer this time. It was such a good thing to hear.
"..."
"..Really?"
"How many times do you want me to say it?"
"Can't you just say it one more time?"
"..Hey."
"...Confirmation."
"...I want to be confirmed."
"....I won't abandon you."
"Yeah!"
At that answer, at her giving me the certainty I wanted confirmed, I moved a little closer to her.
Wanting to touch more deeply, I pushed my body in a bit more. This time, not the hem of her clothes, but her fingers.
I held onto her fingertips and asked.
"...Then, is this much okay?"
"Yeah."
At those words, I pulled my body and got closer to Seo Arin.
I didn't stop like before, but I was being a little cautious.
"Is it okay...?"
"It's okay."
So a little more, this time by interlacing my fingers with hers.
"How about this?"
"That too."
A short answer.
It must mean it's okay, so I got a little closer.
Slowly, really slowly.
"..."
This time, our shoulders touched.
I felt like my breath would stop, but I didn't want to run away.
"..You know."
"...Why."
"How about this?"
"..."
Can I assume that silence means consent?
Seeing as she didn't push me away, I thought it was safe to assume so.
So I leaned in more. Enough that I could say I was in Seo Arin's embrace.
"..It's strange."
"What is?"
"You told me not to stick to you earlier."
"That was because you stuck to me on your own."
"..Yeah."
At the same time as that answer, I carefully lifted my arm and draped it over her waist.
"Th-this."
"...Can I do this?"
"Are you trying to hug me?"
"..Yeah."
"Why."
"..Because I like it."
"I heard that earlier."
"...Hmm."
I thought for a moment and then nestled into her embrace.
Since I'm much smaller, it felt like I fit right in.
"Here..."
"It's warm, so I like it."
"...Hah, just for a moment."
"..Okay."
At that, I moved the arm I had draped over her waist and hugged Seo Arin.
Carefully, like I was holding a doll. I wasn't used to this kind of thing.
I was afraid I'd make a mistake. Even if she said she didn't mind, I minded.
"..."
"..."
The sound of breathing was close; I felt like my heart was going to burst.
A feeling I'd never felt before. I felt like I was going to get drunk on that feeling.
"...It's nice."
"Is it?"
"...Yeah, thank you."
"...That's a relief."
"...Still, I'm a little curious."
"Even being this close, it's okay, right?"
"You've been asking that since earlier."
"...Because I can't get it wrong."
"...If you do anything weird, I'll tell you right away."
"...Then that's fine."
Only after hearing that did I hug her a little tighter.
Because it felt like I finally had a little bit of certainty that I didn't have to let go.
I answered quietly, and then lifted my head slightly.
I saw her neck, with skin that looked well-cared for.
"..."
An unfamiliar sensation, but strangely, there was a peculiar pull.
So I carefully brought my face close.
"..Sniff."
"Hey.., what are you doing?"
"Your scent, I like it."
"What..? Hah.."
Seo Arin let out a short breath as if she were dumbfounded, but she didn't push me away.
So I brought my head closer and pressed my body against hers.
And by pressing my body against her, I left my scent on her as if marking my territory.
"..Now it's done, you're mine."
"Even if you run away.., it's no use."
"..What is?"
"Now you smell like me."
"So you're mine."
"...No."
"No?"
"How do you distinguish something as yours by smell?"
Seo Arin said that, then calmly and silently listened to my story.
"Then.."
"Just for now.., let's just make you mine for now."
Hearing that, Seo Arin made a troubled expression this time, but she didn't seem to be in a bad mood.
"..But.., you know."
"Yeah."
"..I'm a little sleepy."
"Now?"
"...Yeah."
"Hah.., don't fall asleep in this position."
"...Why."
"It's uncomfortable."
"Just a little."
"How many minutes is that?"
"..Because you're mine right now."
"I'll just sleep for that long."
Not a few seconds after saying that, I fell asleep in Seo Arin's arms, basking in the warm sunlight.
"Sigh.."
Seo Arin looked at me, sighed, and raised her hand to stroke my hair.
"...Sleep well."