Teach me about love. (3)
Teach me about love. (3)
"...Come here."
The next day, as I lay buried in the fluffy bed, savoring the sunlight streaming through the window, Seo Arin appeared out of nowhere and called me.
"..."
I hesitated for a moment before looking toward the doorway where Seo Arin was standing.
Her voice was cold, but it didn't feel cruel.
Since there was no particular reason to refuse, I obediently moved my feet and headed toward the doorway where she was.
"Here."
She pointed to the floor in front of her with a gesture, and I went over and sat down without a word.
Perhaps she hadn't expected me to sit, as Seo Arin stared at me silently for a moment before scanning me from head to toe and opening her mouth.
"I'll tell you a few things."
"...Okay."
With that, Seo Arin told me the rules she had decided on.
"Don't wander around carelessly."
"And don't touch anything dangerous."
Short, punchy rules.
The words were brief, but the intention behind them was clearly conveyed.
"And don't even think about going outside without permission."
"...I understand."
I didn't argue.
Actually, I liked that she defined what I shouldn't do.
I suppose you could say it put my mind at ease; if I just followed these, I wouldn't be kicked out or abandoned.
"..."
Giving instructions.
Clearly defining what I could and couldn't do.
That's something that only applies to people living in the same group.
Does that mean I am someone she needs, someone Seo Arin needs?
"...Good."
I muttered it to myself, but Seo Arin didn't seem to hear, showing no particular reaction.
After a brief silence, she looked at me and then turned around.
"Follow me."
She was giving me a task again.
Feeling strangely happy, I followed behind her.
I followed her and arrived in the living room.
There was some simple food on the table in the living room.
A sandwich and warm milk were set out, looking quite appetizing.
Seo Arin walked to the end of the table, sat in a chair, and gestured with her chin toward where I was.
"Sit."
"...Okay."
Remembering that I had broken the cup she used yesterday, I sat in the chair carefully.
It was an unfamiliar posture, and perhaps because my body had become smaller, my feet didn't reach the floor.
"..."
"..."
Another moment of silence passed as I looked back and forth between the food in front of me and Seo Arin.
I wondered if I was allowed to eat this.
So, I reached my hand toward the food for a moment, then stopped.
"...?"
Perhaps it was because of my actions.
Seo Arin tilted her head and asked me.
"Why aren't you eating?"
"Am I allowed to eat this...?"
I said it myself, but it felt strange to say it out loud.
But I couldn't not ask.
Was I allowed to do something without permission?
What if she got upset because of my actions?
I wasn't sure if I was allowed to do anything without permission.
Seo Arin looked at me silently for a moment before opening her mouth.
"...I brought it for you."
"...Ah."
My cheeks flushed for a moment, though I didn't know why.
Perhaps it was because it was kindness that didn't require a price in return for the first time in a while.
Kung-kung.
My heart swelled again, pumping through my body.
Since Seo Arin was watching me, I took a deep breath and reached out.
I picked up the bread in front of me and took a bite.
It was soft, warm, and...
"...Delicious."
I muttered quietly.
I kept reaching out and started devouring the food.
One bite, then the next; my speed was getting faster, and Seo Arin opened her mouth.
"...Eat slowly."
Her voice sounded like she was just tossing the words out.
"...Okay."
I answered, but my speed didn't decrease much.
There was warm food in front of me for the first time in a while.
I could eat without worrying about anything, so there was no reason to stop.
The food was right in front of me, she said I could eat it, and I was satisfied that my stomach was filling up in real-time, so I didn't slow down.
"..."
Perhaps because I felt good after eating real food for the first time in a while, my tail was wagging vigorously from side to side.
She told me to eat slowly a few more times, but my speed didn't decrease.
Seo Arin just watched me quietly.
After the meal was over, I stood up and started looking around.
Is there anything I can help with? Is there anything I can do for her?
That thought came first, so that's what I did.
Because she likes it when I help, and although I haven't really provided any proper help yet, that's what I thought.
My gaze naturally turned toward Seo Arin; she was sitting on the sofa looking at something.
A stack of papers that looked like documents.
"...Um."
I approached her while thinking about whether there was anything I could do to help Seo Arin.
The deliberation in my head wasn't long; my body had moved before I even finished thinking.
I walked slowly toward her.
"...What are you doing?"
"Organizing."
A short answer, as always.
I nodded and reached for the stack of papers piled up next to her.
Documents filled with difficult words.
"..."
The moment I touched the documents, wanting to help her.
"Don't touch that."
"...?"
My hand stopped at her words.
"Why...?"
"I don't need it."
The words "I don't need it."
They were definitely directed at me.
"...But wasn't it supposed to be helpful?"
At those words, Seo Arin looked at me and the documents for a moment, then sighed.
A brief silence passed, and her mouth opened.
"I don't need it."
A firm refusal.
I couldn't do anything more here; I didn't want to be hated, and punishment was even scarier.
It was only natural to be punished if I disobeyed the house owner's orders.
"...I see."
With those words, I withdrew my hand from the documents.
Was I wrong again this time?
I had no idea what I was supposed to do.
Seo Arin looked angry, but I didn't want to be useless and abandoned.
It wasn't because of reasons like not being able to go outside because of this body.
"..."
Tears, which I hadn't shed even once since I awakened, were threatening to blur my vision.
I felt like I was finally starting to understand something, and it was the first time I had felt my heart race in such a pleasant way.
I just wanted to help, but I couldn't think positively at all.
Just as negative thoughts were filling my head.
Tuk.
A hand touched the top of my head.
"...Stay still."
"...Stay still."
A familiar voice I had been hearing a lot lately.
It was a little lower than usual, but this time I didn't flinch.
Maybe it's because I know now that I don't need to run away.
Seu-euk seu-euk.
A hand touching the top of my head.
A touch that gently brushed my ears and hair, slowly moving along.
The sensation of it slowly following my hair down.
Kung-kung kung-kung.
My heart was beating like it was going to burst.
It was similar to when she fed me, but it felt a bit different.
It wasn't a heart racing because of danger.
The strange sensation I had felt since I first met Seo Arin.
What is this, my heart pounding like this?
"...This is."
It was a sensation I kept feeling but couldn't understand, and it kept tickling my body.
But this wasn't a bad feeling.
"...I don't hate it."
It was okay even if I didn't understand it.
It didn't hurt, and it wasn't a punishment, so I didn't hate it.
Rather.
"...It's nice."
Those words slipped out of my mouth without me realizing it.
Perhaps she heard me, as her hand stopped for a moment.
"Is it?"
Another short reaction.
After showing a brief reaction, her hand started moving again.
"..."
This is different from before.
This good feeling was different from before.
Even though I couldn't help, even though I only made mistakes.
Even though I did nothing, she makes me feel this strange sensation.
"..."
Then, what is different about this?
Or.
"..."
My thoughts started to continue slowly.
If I help, she seems to like it.
But she likes it even when I don't help and just stay still.
Then...
"Both..."
That must be okay, right?
She doesn't abandon me if I make a mistake.
She doesn't hit me just because I'm useless.
"..."
The hand that had been ruffling my hair stopped.
My head felt light, without any pressure.
I kept looking at her while I sat there.
"That's enough."
Seo Arin stood up, perhaps finished with organizing the documents.
While I was deep in thought, the pile of documents had become neat at some point.
"Okay."
I nodded, confirming that she had disappeared.
And I looked down at the floor again.
The things that hadn't been organized yet.
The sensation remaining on my hand, my stomach filled to the brim, the warmth still lingering on top of my head.
"...I think I get it."
How to be loved.
I think I understand a little bit about what I need to do.
"..."
If I help, she likes it.
And even if I can't help, if I stay still, she touches me.
If I just do this...
"...I'll be able to know, right?"
Love. A little more clearly.
A little more.
Perhaps because of those thoughts, I felt good, and my tail started wagging salang-salang.
"..."
I didn't say anything and looked up again.
I looked at the spot where Seo Arin had been for a long time.
Blinking slowly, I moved away from the spot where the warmth had faded.