Teach Me About Love. (2)
Teach Me About Love. (2)
"...Maybe it's because you're wearing a collar, but you look like a harmless cat."
"..."
"Live in my house for the time being."
Seo Arin informed me of that while staring straight at me.
It felt like she was pressuring me, as if she wouldn't accept any further objections.
Then, she looked at me with an expression that said I should obediently follow her decision.
If I were a normal person, I would have rejected this proposal.
Yeah. At least, if I were a regular person, I would have refused.
"...Okay."
The answer that came out of my mouth was extremely simple.
A life as a cat that doesn't even get treated like a human—that was me agreeing to it.
The collar around my neck was subtly bothering me; it would be more accurate to say it was on my mind rather than it feeling tight around my throat.
The feeling of being tied up, yet for some reason, it felt stable. Was it because of the aura radiating from her confidence, as if asking what else I could possibly do if I rejected this offer?
She was already taller than me, but Seo Arin, standing right in front of me, looked like an even bigger person.
"..."
Extremely thin wrists, a small and unfamiliar body.
Cat ears and a tail that couldn't possibly belong to a human.
There are cases where one's physique changes upon becoming an Awakened, but never one's species.
Thanks to that, my appearance left not a single trace of my former self, and I had an unverified identity, having been found at a Gate.
If I went outside in this state, would there be even a single way to prove my former identity?
"...That's impossible."
If I went outside looking like this, it wouldn't be something that could be explained away.
I'd probably be caught by some government agency, dragged off somewhere, and experimented on.
I muttered in a voice too quiet for Seo Arin to hear.
If I were under her management, all those troublesome things would be resolved.
Because she said she would 'manage' me.
And, one more thing—I lifted my gaze to look at Seo Arin.
Perhaps because of the height difference, as I tilted my head all the way back, her face came into view—it was, as expected, the same face I had seen on TV.
Reporters, cameras, people—I think I had seen the expression she wore while smiling over and over again, surrounded by them.
In the dark room, the expression of a person being loved, on the screen.
Seeing it again, I wasn't wrong; it was the face that had been smiling while surrounded by large crowds.
There was no doubt that such a Seo Arin was a person loved by everyone.
If I were by this person's side, wouldn't I be able to receive at least a little bit of that thing called Love?
As I thought that and looked at her, she looked at the collar around my neck and spoke.
"That thing, if you leave here, an alarm will go off."
"..."
"It gets annoying if you go outside."
So don't even think about leaving my house. She said that and left the room.
My thoughts were no different anyway, so I didn't ask any more questions and just listened to her words quietly.
As she left the room, I was left alone again.
It felt as if the warmth I had felt filling the room because the two of us were there just a moment ago had drained away.
I stood still in the quiet room and slowly looked around for a moment.
A clean space, organized furniture—it was a room decorated perfectly without a single flaw.
I wondered if there was something I could do.
"Because the book said that if you help, you can be loved."
As I kept looking around, I saw a desk.
A mug containing the coffee Seo Arin had just been drinking when she came in.
Seeing that, a good idea came to mind.
"The cup..., if I help, she'll like it, right?"
There was no basis for it; Seo Arin had just told me to stay still.
In her eyes, I was just a stranger, an unidentified Other Species under her management.
But if I helped, she would definitely like it.
I'll say it again, there was no basis for it; I just felt like I had to do it.
After that, I picked up the cup and carefully left the room.
When I came out of the room I was in, a living room with a large TV greeted me.
On the TV, news of Seo Arin's interview was playing.
"Protecting the citizens is my job."
Many people cheered at her concise, clipped words.
People laughed at every single word she said.
Everyone called her name.
Why do people like Seo Arin so much?
Why..., is Seo Arin able to live while being loved by everyone?
I always lived thinking it would have been nice if even one person had taught me what Love was.
I felt a throbbing sensation in my chest, but I brushed it off as just a feeling.
It was a different feeling from when Seo Arin touched my hair a little while ago.
I don't know why, but I think I'm feeling a bit under the weather.
Putting those things aside, I walked to the sink.
Swaaaa.
The water temperature was exceptionally cold.
I'm sure I didn't feel things like this before.
Is it because my senses have become sensitive? It felt a bit strange that I felt cold now.
Cold water splashed everywhere with a powerful sound, but I didn't care.
It's fine if I get wet, but her cup is precious.
"..."
I carefully washed the cup.
I was clumsy because I couldn't control my strength, but there were no problems.
The moment I tried to shake the water off the washed cup.
Jjaeng-geurang!
"Ah..."
My hand slipped.
Once the noise stopped, I felt that something had gone wrong with the scene before my eyes.
The broken cup and shattered glass shards.
"...I was trying to help."
Why is this? I stared blankly at the floor for a moment, then slowly bent down.
As I reached out and started picking up the broken glass shards, I felt a stinging sensation at my fingertips.
"..."
The feeling of being cut by something sharp, the sensation of skin tearing filled my hands.
Even so.
"This much..."
It hurts, but it's no reason to stop.
And there's no reason to stop, either.
I muttered "It's fine" nonchalantly and moved my hands again.
That's how I started picking up the pieces one by one.
I picked up the pieces with my right hand and transferred them to my left.
Because she might dislike it if I carelessly used newspaper or a bag.
Drip, drip.
Blood flowed from my fingertips and dripped onto the floor, but I didn't care.
What's more important than that is cleaning up.
I diligently collected the glass shards that had fallen on the floor.
By the time I had picked up almost all the glass shards on the floor.
Click.
Along with the sound of the front door opening with a singing sound, I heard footsteps.
I hesitated for a moment, but started picking up the few remaining glass shards again.
This time, quietly, very quietly, so as not to be caught by Seo Arin.
"What is this."
A calm voice; a cold voice that could be mistaken for anger if heard at a glance.
When I lifted my head, Seo Arin was standing in front of me.
She looked at my face for a moment, then lowered her gaze.
The broken cup, the blood soaking the floor—she held her forehead for a moment, then continued speaking.
"...Your hand."
"...?"
The words that came after a brief silence were unexpected.
As I stood there blankly, as if I didn't understand Seo Arin's words, she seemed frustrated and snatched my wrist.
"...Hah."
A very small sigh, a sigh so small that the old me wouldn't even have heard it.
But to my ears, which had become much sharper, it pierced right through.
It was just like the sound of my parents sighing whenever they didn't like something I did.
"...Why are you touching this?"
"To clean it up."
When I answered her question immediately, Seo Arin made a pained expression.
"Then..."
But even if I made a mistake, this much would surely have been a little helpful.
I showed Seo Arin the cup shards gathered in my blood-stained hand and asked.
"...Was I helpful?"
Brightly, like the people I saw on TV who were loved.
I wanted her to smile at me fully, praise me, and love me too.
However, the words that came back were a completely different answer from my expectations.
"...No, not at all."
"I see..."
What did I do wrong...
As I muttered that quietly, a brief silence flowed.
"...Then is there anything else I can help with?"
I said that and looked at Seo Arin.
Then, for a moment, just for a moment.
"No."
I felt her voice drop.
"Okay..."
"...Not yet."
She said that, and the touch on my head, just like in the room, made me feel strange.
That touch made my heart start beating strangely again, and it gave me that pleasant sensation I had felt in the morning.
With the touch slowly stroking my protruding ears and hair.
"Stay like this, this isn't bad."
My heart pounded hard.
As if it were shaking my body with a thumping sound.
Unlike when she saw me picking up the cup, Seo Arin said that with a faint smile.
I didn't understand.
I couldn't help, so why?
Sending me goodwill even when I'm just staying still—is it because I wasn't wrong?
"...I don't really know."
I muttered quietly and looked down at the floor again.
The broken glass shards and blood still remaining.
Was the method wrong?
"But if I keep doing it..."
I thought quietly while looking at the floor.
Wouldn't I be able to figure it out, the proper way, someday?
Holding my head, which had become lighter as she had let go at some point.
I watched the spot where Seo Arin had left for a long time.