Teach me about love. (1)
Teach me about love. (1)
"...."
My eyes opened to the light streaming through the window.
Thump. Thump.
My heart was beating, and I was still alive.
Why? I was supposed to have died.
The memories before I closed my eyes were vivid.
The dark, rainy alleyway, soaked clothes, a body losing its vitality due to a curse.
The moment I collapsed onto the ground, my strength exhausted.
The sound of my heartbeat slowly sinking, like power being cut off.
"...Why?"
As I questioned being alive, I muttered unconsciously.
However, the voice that flowed out of my mouth was incredibly unfamiliar.
Not the low, raspy voice I was used to.
A thin, high-pitched voice, like... a young girl's.
"...What the."
Looking around, it wasn't the studio apartment I'd lived in for years, but someone else's house.
A house I'd never been to, belonging to someone I didn't remember.
Not the fluorescent light that had reached the end of its lifespan because I hadn't changed it in years, but a cleanly shining LED bulb.
Not the bedding that smelled musty from the mold on the floor, but a clean bed like the ones I only saw on TV.
"...?"
It was a scene I had never seen once in my life.
"Where is this..."
It was strange.
Even though I was talking to myself, quiet enough that no one else could hear, I could hear it better than ever before.
Even the sound of the blanket brushing against me was bothersome, but there were more important things.
Questions about this incomprehensible situation filling my head.
The moment I stepped down from the somewhat high bed to check, placing my feet on the floor.
"...It's light."
My steps felt awkward; I had just walked as usual, but the sensation was completely different.
There hadn't been just one or two strange things since earlier.
My cleared head and my high, pleasantly clear voice.
My unusually heightened senses were filling my head with anxiety.
The body that always felt crushed and heavy right after an incomplete awakening was no longer felt.
Did they say humans feel fear toward things they can't understand?
"..."
No words came out, as if my breath had stopped.
A full-length mirror in the room I happened to see while getting off the bed.
My heightened senses instinctively told me.
That if I looked at that, I would face the fact I had been trying so hard to ignore.
Yet, my feet didn't stop.
Slowly, very slowly, I took steps, and in front of me was...
"...Ah."
I had guessed as much, but a cute young girl was standing there.
My original appearance, like a middle-aged man with patchy gray hair and a scruffy beard, was gone.
Dark navy hair like the night sky, reflecting light and sparkling.
And what was attached on top of it was clearly...
"Ears...?"
On my head, which wasn't even a cat's, there were cat ears that had no business being there.
I groped the top of my head with an incredulous expression, but nothing changed.
Instead, there was a soft texture, an unfamiliar feeling, and the ears moved slightly as if reacting to that ticklish sensation.
"......."
Putting aside the fact that I looked pretty but had a somewhat sharp impression, I lowered my gaze.
A thin neckline, small shoulders, an unfamiliar physique, and crucially.
"A tail..."
As soon as I became conscious of the tail, it swayed slightly as if reacting to it.
"...What is this."
I absolutely cannot understand this.
I was supposed to have died there; that was normal.
If that feeling back then wasn't my breath stopping, then what is death?
And even if I was lucky enough to survive, why this appearance?
Ding.
Before I knew it, something familiar appeared before my eyes.
"...Status Window."
Something I checked every day before I became like this.
If I could fully awaken and be of help to someone.
The few hopes I had that kept me from giving up on life, making me think, "Couldn't I be loved too?"
However, the contents inside had never changed until the end, but this...
[Status Window]
Name: Yang Ha-yul
Race: Beastkin (Cat)
Skills: [Affection Deficiency A], [Sixth Sense B], [Mana Manipulation (Beast) E] (Incomplete → Complete), [Cat's Gratitude EX] (Deactivated)
"...Complete?"
Several skills had been added, but my eyes were fixed on only one place.
[Mana Manipulation (Beast) E] (Incomplete → Complete).
I had never once seen the word "Complete."
Perhaps other people had never seen the word "Incomplete."
I had awakened similarly to others, although it was a half-baked, incomplete awakening.
Carrying the burden on my body because Mana Manipulation wasn't complete, but the fact that such an ability was completed meant...
"...It's completed?"
Does this mean I can move freely like other people now?
Seeing as my body felt lighter than usual, it didn't seem like a lie.
After looking at the word "Complete" several times, my gaze shifted to the side.
[Affection Deficiency A]
It was a skill that wasn't there originally.
Didn't "deficiency" mean a state of lacking something?
No matter how much I thought about it, the question didn't disappear.
I checked my body's condition several times, but there was nothing different about me.
If anything, I had more than enough strength compared to before.
In the first place, is affection that necessary for living?
Thinking about it again, I don't really know, because I've never felt the need for it while living until now.
"...I had no problems without it."
Yes, no matter how much I thought about it, I had never felt the need for affection in my life.
Then it seems like a skill I don't really need to worry about...
"What a strange skill..."
Is there a need to force myself to understand something I don't understand?
As I had always done, I just moved on from things I didn't understand; it was more comfortable that way.
Moving my gaze to the side, I saw other skills.
[Cat's Gratitude EX] (Deactivated)
"Gratitude..."
I remember it means repaying a kindness.
But I don't really know about this either; seeing that it's deactivated, it doesn't seem that important.
I can just skip it, right?
The conclusion came quickly: if I don't understand it or can't use it, I just skip it.
Thinking that, the status window gradually blurred and disappeared.
"..."
I clenched and unclenched my empty hand again.
It moves without a problem.
No matter how many times I clench and unclench it, it moves without a problem.
So this is what it feels like to have my body move the way I want it to.
An unfamiliar space, an unfamiliar body.
Although it's different from before, it's better than then.
"......I can be loved now, too."
I muttered that quietly.
It was at that moment.
Click.
My body reflexively stiffened at the sound of the door opening.
Even though my body is different from before, I guess I can't fix the habits I've formed.
Footsteps at a steady interval.
Slow but unhesitating footsteps filled the room.
What entered my vision as I turned slowly was...
A woman I had seen somewhere.
Well-maintained blonde long straight hair, neat attire wearing a suit, and sky-blue eyes.
And lastly, a cold gaze where almost no emotion could be felt.
"You're awake."
She, who had entered the room, spoke to me in a calm voice.
I looked at her, unable to say anything.
The woman looked at me for a moment and then quietly gave me a chance to speak.
By the way, this face, I feel like I've seen it somewhere.
I searched my memory and remembered it quickly.
TV screen, news, crowds, and her smiling within them.
"..Ah"
The person who made me curious about love.
It was Seo Arin, one of the few S-Rank Hunters in the country.
'Loved by many people...'
Before I died, I wanted to be loved.
Because I wanted to know the reason why people are so desperate for a feeling I had never felt before.
In that respect, she was a person sufficient to say she possessed what I was curious about and wanted.
Yes, she is a person who has received the love I had never received in my entire life.
Then, if I am near this person, will I be able to know?
The affection received from someone, and love.
As that thought passed through my head, she spoke to me again.
"I found you inside a Gate."
"...Gate."
Why? Wasn't I definitely collapsed in that alleyway?
Before that question could even fade, Seo Arin continued.
"At first, I thought you were a Monster."
Her gaze brushed past my ears and tail.
"...But it didn't seem like it, so I brought you here for now."
Monster.
At that word, my body flinched slightly.
"...I am."
I tried to speak.
That I'm not a Monster, but...
"...."
Strangely, the words didn't come out.
There's so much to say.
And so much to ask.
Am I afraid of being hated by someone I haven't even known for long?
The sentences won't come out properly.
Seo Arin looked at me quietly, then sighed and said briefly.
"Communication... is in a difficult state, it seems."
"...."
I wanted to deny it, but.
It felt like I couldn't even refute it in my current state.
The woman took a step closer.
At that moment.
My heart pounded loudly.
Thump..., thump-thump.
"...?"
What is it? Did I do something wrong?
Is that why she's approaching to punish me?
Before all sorts of thoughts could even connect.
Seo Arin's hand touched the top of my head.
"...!"
My body stiffened at her action.
I thought I had to run away.
But my body wouldn't move.
And then, the sensation of being petted softly and gently on the head came.
"...."
It didn't seem like she intended to harm me.
Then, why?
"......."
I don't understand.
She petted my head quite diligently.
Then, at some point, when she seemed satisfied and took her hand off my head, only then did my breath return a little.
The woman said as if nothing had happened.
"For now, it seems there's no danger."
"...."
"Still."
After thinking for a moment, she opened her mouth again.
"I can't let you out in this state."
She scanned my body from tail to ears and met my gaze.
"Since I brought you, I'll have to manage you for the time being."
Manage, that word strangely bothered me.
The woman picked up something that had been on the desk.
A thin necklace; it was closer to a choker than a collar, but...
"Don't move."
That collar, before I could speak or even hear her words.
Was quickly fastened around my neck.
"...."
It's strange.
I definitely felt resistance, but I didn't refuse.
Seo Arin looked down at me one last time and said.
"...You're like a cat."
"...."
"Yes."
She nodded and continued.
"For the time being."
A moment of silence, and then.
"Let's have you be my house cat."
"...."
I couldn't say anything to the sentence passed on me.
Only a single scene was lingering in my head.
The face smiling inside the faded TV and the appearance of being loved by many people.
"..."
I must admit what I must admit.
This person is someone who knows what love is.
She is the person who knows the love I wanted to know better than anyone else.
If so, if I help her by Seo Arin's side during the time I am in this house.
Wouldn't she share a little love with me too?