The Miracle of On-Demand Semen
"W-With my hand... you want me to shake your dick...?"
"Huh? You don't even know what masturbation is?"
"Is it some trend from that place you mentioned, Korea?"
"No, it's not like our country is that promiscuous..."
Her claim of not knowing about masturbation struck me as odd, but Ellie's expression seemed utterly genuine. If anything, it felt like something she'd never even heard of. Of course, compared to everything else I'd experienced so far, it wasn't that unbelievable...
"...Still, don't kids learn this stuff in elementary school?"
Back home, they'd just vaguely say something like, "Babies come from this and that," and call it a day. Maybe Ellie was some kind of girl who never got to finish elementary school, head of her family or something. At this point, the thought actually brought a tear to my eye.
Bonk.
"Ow!"
"You're imagining something weird again, aren't you?"
"Ah, no, I'm not..."
"It's all over your face."
My cheeks flushed hot at that. "...But it is kinda surprising."
"What's so surprising about it?"
"W-Well..."
Wiggle.
"An adult like you, Ellie, not knowing about masturbation or how babies are made..."
"I do know."
"Huh? But just now you said you didn't..."
"I never said I didn't know how babies are made. That's just common sense to begin with."
"Eek."
Come to think of it, she hadn't said that. But usually, it's the other way around, right?
She doesn't know masturbation but somehow knows about baby-making? How?
"Don't you know?"
"Huh?"
"You act like you know all sorts of things, but maybe you're the one clueless and just fishing for info."
"Wh-What? I'm not that dumb!"
"You fall for provocations pretty easily too."
She shrugged and continued. "Well, there's no way you wouldn't know how babies are made. You just pour semen on a life flower and that's it."
"...Huh?"
And then I heard something even stranger.
"What does that even...?"
"Everyone's born from flowers to begin with, right?"
Only after hearing that did it finally hit me. This world was even more upside-down than I'd imagined. Not a single scrap of common sense matched what I knew.
"Hm, looks like Melia's stepped out for a bit."
In the meantime, she'd just gotten word from a subordinate that the investigator wasn't in. Maybe that's why—this moment felt like an opportunity.
To be more precise, this bizarre setting and backstory were igniting my info-gathering instincts, honed from years of devouring fantasy novels. So, while waiting with Ellie, I decided to probe for more details.
"B-But, it's still pretty amazing all the same."
"What's amazing this time?"
"Pouring semen on a flower to make a baby. I was born that way too, but it's still wild."
I was testing the "act like I know while fishing" strategy.
"Fair enough. Semen gets used for all sorts of other things too."
And sure enough, Ellie started spilling info, right on cue for my genius ploy.
"W-Wow, so for an amazing group like the Gray Mane, where do they mainly use semen?"
"Why ask something like that out of nowhere? Obviously for farming or crafting equipment."
"...Huh?"
Semen for farming? And crafting?
"Well, around here it's used kind of like currency too."
"E-Even as money?!"
"You seemed to know a bit about us, but I guess not this."
I couldn't argue with that. I was just pretending to know stuff to begin with, but I never imagined semen was this versatile. Babies, harvests, even as money... it was insane.
Isn't this way too OP...?
It almost sounded like she was messing with me.
"I'm not so bored I'd lie to a kid like you."
And then I got called a kid on top of it.
"B-But if that's true, then everyone's rich, right?"
"What are you on about now?"
"Well..."
Semen comes out just from masturbating. Super easy to produce.
"So, with that much semen around, everyone's loaded, aren't they?"
"You're saying the weirdest things. It's not wrong, but our country's semen reserves are scraping the bottom right now."
"Scraping the bottom?"
"Yeah. In other words, production is low, so it's precious."
Ellie eyed my body as she went on. "Someone without a dick like you might not get it. Bottom line: semen only comes out once a week, and even then, just sometimes when you wake up from a wet dream. Hard to get."
"So why is that hard..."
Oh, right—she doesn't know how to masturbate.
"Well, if you could extract it easily like you say, we'd all be rich quick."
Hearing that made me regret turning into a girl. No dick meant no riches for me now, just these plump tits. Depressing.
...Wait a sec.
But do I need to produce it myself? As long as it's semen, it counts, right?
And from what she said earlier, wet dreams happen reliably.
Meaning her dick looks big but performs average. Add in not knowing how to make semen yourself...
"...Why are you grinning like that?"
I might just become the richest person here?
The thought had my shoulders shaking with laughter.
"Ellie!!"
I ended up calling out to her without thinking.
"Wh-What? Suddenly?"
"I-I think I figured out a way to get super rich!"
"A way to get rich...?"
"Yeah! With this method, you can make semen without waiting."
"What?"
She jumped at the idea of producing semen on demand.
"Is that for real? A way to extract semen whenever you want? How?!"
"Uh, well..."
But actually explaining it was embarrassing.
"If it's true, you could be a hero. With enough semen, no one worries about food or shelter."
Ellie grabbed my shoulders, urging me to spill the method already.
"......"
Even though I'd brought it up, the words stuck in my throat. Simple reason.
To a near-stranger...
And a woman, no less—I had to teach her how to jerk off a dick.
But backing out now wasn't an option. So, I curled my fingers a bit and started shaking my hand lightly.
"J-Just kinda like this..."
Ellie watched with a puzzled look. For obvious reasons.
"That's how you make semen?"
"Y-Yeah..."
"So, you're saying you just grab the dick and shake it?"
"Y-Yeah..."
...What's her deal? She'd gotten the method, but she clearly didn't buy it. When I asked why, she said there was no way that worked.
"Huh? N-No, it's not a lie..."
"No idea where you heard it, but we've done tons of research on semen production."
Thud.
"Of course we've tried grabbing and shaking dicks plenty of times."
"...And no semen came out?"
"Not just semen—we can't even control erections."
So, they knew the concepts but not the practice? They'd tried touching, at least. But then...
"It's standing up right now, though?"
"That's why it's weird. It got erect just from you barely touching it."
"......"
A bad premonition hit me, so I mentally sorted what I'd learned so far.
First off, this definitely wasn't my old world. Seemed medieval, mostly women, all packing huge dicks.
And...
They didn't know much about sex—or at least this one didn't—and semen was used everywhere.
...That about summed it up. Still no clue why my body changed, but whatever.
"Anyway, it still sounds like a lie."
"Don't believe me? Watch."
"Huh?"
"...Watch closely."
Slap, slap, slap, slap.
"?????"
Question marks exploded in my head. Ellie was suddenly jerking her dick right in front of me.
"Ah, no, what are you doing...!"
"You didn't believe me, right? You can get closer."
"No, that's not...!"
Slap, slap, slap, slap.
Soon, the slapping sounds filled the space around the castle walls. Ellie jerked off for a solid five more minutes, stubbornly proving her point. I didn't want to watch, but yeah—no semen, not even precum.
"See?"
"......"
"Your touch even made the erection go down."
Swoosh.
"Want more proof?"
"Th-That's enough..."
In the end, against my will, I had to admit she wasn't lying.
"......"
So, my dreams of riches were dashed forever? I could barely afford living expenses without a job back home.
To end up having to work even here...
Felt like my shot at easy money had flown away.
"...I see. It's a simple problem, then."
But just then, Ellie stepped closer and thrust her dick toward me.
"Huh? No, wh-what's this all of a sudden...?"
"I want you to do that masturbation thing—with your hand."
And then she said the most absurd thing: let her touch her dick.
"Eh...?"
"No idea why, but it erected just from your brief touch earlier."
"W-Wait..."
"So maybe it'll be different if you do it."
"No..."
Even so...
"W-With my hand... you want me to shake your dick...?"