Someone Who Always Returns to Me #9
The night was quiet.
Even at this late hour, the castle remained faintly lit, but Emil had not slept a single wink since returning to his room. He sat by the window, staring out into the darkness.
He gazed down at the shadowed garden.
The leaves rustled softly, and even the distant chirping of tiny insects weaving through the dry grass sounded far away.
Damn it, what the hell do I want? Getting lost in these ridiculous sentiments…
Emil thought of her once more.
Elaine’s face. Her eyes. Her voice.
For a fleeting moment, he had the absurd feeling that she might be standing somewhere out there in the darkness.
It was a ridiculous notion.
But emotions, sometimes, deceived people far more quietly and cunningly than reason ever could.
“…Shit.”
Emil rose carefully from his seat.
As if someone were calling him, his feet moved naturally toward the door.
With every step, his heart beat faster, and his mind felt as though it were being pulled into some unreal dream.
There’ll be guards at the main gate…
He slipped outside, avoiding watchful eyes.
The castle was silent. In the stillness of night, everything seemed frozen in time.
“Hoo…”
Emil walked toward the empty rear garden.
Passing through the garden path, he came upon a small, circular clearing.
Ivy-covered walls. A central fountain gently releasing the faint scent of violets.
And beside that fountain stood someone.
The moment he realized it, Emil felt his heart drop.
“Elaine?”
When Emil called her name with difficulty, a woman emerged from the shadows and answered.
“Unfortunately, no. Foolish Emil.”
A teasing, scolding voice rang out.
Of course, Emil knew her.
“…Pidea.”
“Yes. Are you disappointed?”
Pidea spoke with clear mockery.
The demon girl who shared Emil’s body had returned to the youthful form she’d worn back in Iredain.
The corner of her mouth twitched in a sneer.
“Oh, Emil. What’s with that face? You look exactly like a man who got caught waiting for a secret rendezvous.”
“…I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You don’t? Then why did you call out for Elaine in such an eager, longing voice? I’m starting to feel jealous.”
Pidea began to laugh at him, just as she had in Iredain, her giggles full of ridicule.
“Emil, have you fallen for someone new already?”
“Stop talking nonsense, Pidea. Love? Don’t make me laugh…”
“Oh? But that voice just now sounded exactly like the one I heard from you long ago.”
She grinned wickedly.
“Yes. Back when you used to whisper words of love to me. Mm, I miss those days. Though it hasn’t really been that long.”
“Pidea, did you come out just to mock me?”
Ah, for heaven’s sake.
He had no idea what kind of expression he was supposed to wear.
Back on Tisos Island, Pidea had said she would follow him, and Emil had accepted it, but facing her still felt awkward.
Even if she had lost her memories, Pidea had been his lover for years, and those feelings still lingered.
Emil, who had never experienced a truly serious romantic relationship before, had no clue how to treat this “ex-lover.”
Pidea seemed to see right through him. She smiled mischievously and spoke in a playful tone.
“Ah, Emil. Just because we broke up doesn’t mean you have to be so cold. Or what? Have I become an annoyance to you now?”
“You know that’s not true.”
“My, that’s rather nice to hear. Hmm.”
Pidea circled around him before stepping close from behind.
Then she whispered into his ear.
“Well, never mind. Honestly, I do feel a bit jealous… Not just of that Elaine person, but even more so of Princess Leni. Because she’s the one you truly love.”
“Yes.”
Emil offered no further comment.
Because it was the truth.
Even if Emil were to fall deeply in love with someone else one day… even if he wanted to marry that woman, he would never love her more than Leni.
Because to Emil, his own life was more precious than anything, and Leni was more precious than even that life.
“At first, it made me jealous. Being by your side was painful. But then I changed my mind.”
“Changed your mind?”
“Yes, Emil. Don’t you think it’s the most foolish thing in the world for a demon to be jealous of a human? They say love is synonymous with foolishness, and they’re right. After all, I’ve fallen into that very foolishness.”
“So you’re saying you’re not jealous anymore?”
Pidea gave an enigmatic smile.
Then she drew closer once more and spoke.
“I wouldn’t say I’m not jealous at all… But I realized something important. Emil, think about it. How much longer can Leni possibly live?”
“…What do you mean by that?”
Emil’s voice grew harsh.
If those words implied she would harm Leni, he would not stand by idly.
But Pidea shook her head.
“Ah, impatient Emil. Don’t make that scary face. That’s not what I meant. What I’m saying is, Leni is human. How long can a human live? Seventy years? Eighty? At most, that’s about it.”
“I suppose so.”
“But I will remain by your side forever.”
Pidea smiled slowly.
“Because I am eternal.”
Emil said nothing.
He didn’t know what to say.
She was right.
Leni was human.
One day, she would die. No one understood that better than Emil.
“I will remain beautiful forever, and I can be your eternal lover. So eventually, you will return to me… and you will love me again.”
Pidea slowly reached out.
Her fingertips brushed ever so lightly against Emil’s cheek. He closed his eyes.
“It’s getting late… Sleep well, Emil.”
Pidea whispered.
When Emil turned his head,
she was already gone.
Without leaving a single trace, as if she had never existed.
“Pidea.”
Yet at the same time, Emil could still feel her presence beside him.
Just as he was about to follow the path back to the castle—
In that moment, he heard a very faint sound.
The snap of a twig.
And an even quieter presence.
Emil turned his head without thinking.
And froze.
From beyond the ivy-draped wall on one side of the garden, someone quietly stepped into view.
Her face was bathed in faint moonlight.
“…Elaine?”
“Father Emil… We meet again.”
She looked surprised,
yet also seemed pleased by the unexpected encounter.
“I didn’t think we’d run into each other again so soon.”
“Neither did I. But… who were you talking to? I definitely heard voices, yet I don’t see anyone.”
“Well, it’s not strange for a priest to talk to himself, is it?”
“I suppose that’s true. Hehe.”
When she covered her mouth and laughed, Emil’s heart beat strangely.
There it was again.
He was going crazy.
Elaine approached Emil cautiously.
The hem of her skirt brushed against the grass with a faint rustle, blending with the sound of the fountain until she seemed to move as quietly as the night itself.
“Why aren’t you sleeping, Father Emil?”
“I couldn’t fall asleep. And I should ask you the same thing. Why aren’t you sleeping?”
“Probably the same reason. I just can’t seem to fall asleep either.”
They both laughed at the same time.
Feeling lighter, Emil continued.
“By the way, do fairies need sleep too?”
“Fairies… Oh, right. That’s what I said.”
“You forgot what you told me before.”
“Oh dear, my lie’s been exposed. In that case, let’s say I was actually an angel.”
“Lying to a priest is not a good idea.”
“How frightening. Are you going to punish me?”
When she let out a soft laugh, Emil’s insides twisted again.
His heart felt so light it might fly away, yet at the same time, something heavy pressed down on him until he could barely breathe.
“Haha… Anyway. Elaine, I thought about it alone earlier. I think you might have been right.”
“My words? What exactly did I say?”
“We talked about the queen, didn’t we?”
Elaine flinched slightly.
“Yes… we did.”
“At first, I thought you were wrong. The queen I met seemed… cold and calculating, someone who didn’t understand affection at all.”
“But now you think differently?”
Elaine asked, almost as if pressing him.
Emil thought for a moment before answering.
“I still don’t think well of her… but I realized something. There’s nothing more foolish than judging something by seeing only one side of it.”
“So what other side did you discover?”
“I thought about my princess—kind-hearted Princess Leni. She truly loved her older sister and called her a good person… So perhaps, just as you said, the queen’s words were simply…”
“Not entirely sincere.”
Emil nodded.
“Yes, I started to think it might be something like that. Of course, it’s possible Princess Leni was simply too kind and therefore believed her sister was kind as well.”
Elaine looked at him with what seemed like genuine joy and smiled.
“I’m glad to hear that.”
“Glad? About what?”
“Well… because you seriously considered what I said. The things you heard about Her Majesty through your perspective… honestly, even I can see how they could easily be misunderstood.”
“Right? Even if she didn’t mean it, the queen has a terrible way with words. Tsk, to treat the priest who saved her little sister’s life that way is just too much.”
Elaine responded with a bitter smile.
“Then what should Her Majesty have done?”
“At the very least, she should have been kinder.”
Wait, what the hell am I even saying right now?
Emil found himself strange.
Why was it that whenever he stood before her, his mouth opened on its own, unable to hold anything back?
Yet even as he questioned his own behavior, his mouth continued to move.
“That’s right. She saved her sister’s life. The least she could have done was take off her helmet and kiss me on the cheek.”
Elaine looked startled.
“Would that really have been enough?”
It had been a joke, but Emil chuckled and answered.
“Ah, I didn’t mean it that seriously… Honestly, I’d rather have gold coins than a kiss. But at least then I would have known she cared for her sister.”
“A kiss… I see.”
Elaine murmured the words quietly, as if savoring them.
Her voice was so low it was like a passing breeze.
Feeling somewhat embarrassed, Emil turned his head away.
“It was just an example.”
But Elaine said nothing.
Instead, she slowly, very carefully, stepped closer to him.
“…Elaine?”
When Emil looked at her with uneasy eyes,
she quietly raised her hand and touched his cheek.
Her thin, soft fingertips brushed past the side of his forehead.
And in the next moment—
She gently pressed her lips to his cheek.
It was neither cold nor heavy. Just a light kiss.
For an instant, Emil thought his breath had stopped.
Time truly seemed to freeze for that brief second.
His heart pounded wildly,
and his mind went completely blank.
The only thing that remained vivid was the sensation of her lips against his cheek.
After the kiss, Elaine looked into his eyes and whispered in the smallest voice.
“…Is this enough?”
Elaine smiled and whispered again.
“…Yeah.”
“Ah, you’re embarrassed, so don’t answer.”
Emil tried to say something, but she simply gave him a faint smile, turned around, and ran off into the misty night.
Emil could not move a single step.
As if his feet had been rooted to the ground, he stood there in a daze.