Chapter 85
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 85
Chapter Title: The Mayor and the Gondola
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It's morning. The time all office workers hate, all the unemployed crave, and for me, just another chance to confirm my failure.
The view outside the window wasn't the Neo Incheon I knew.
Instead of gray asphalt, azure waterways meandered lazily between buildings, and the blare of car horns had given way to the gentle lapping of waves.
People look at that scenery and praise it as the "Venice of the East" or the "Miracle Waterfront City."
It's just the pathetic panorama of a disaster born from my lame mutter of "Can't we just leave the water in? It's a waste to drain it."
How can the same phenomenon be interpreted so differently?
Nyaah-
Nero, perched on the windowsill swishing her tail, looks at me like I'm pathetic. How happy she must be, knowing nothing.
A creature for whom the world flooding or burning doesn't matter as long as there's tasty treats and a fluffy cushion. A life that's the perfect happy ending. I'm so envious.
Right, today I'm going to be late.
I'm definitely going to be late. I've been working too hard lately. I'm one step away from collapsing from overwork.
No, I've already collapsed mentally. My body is just forcing itself to move.
I moved deliberately, oh so deliberately slowly.
I looped my tie around my neck, then untied it again, claiming the color didn't match my mood today.
And my shoelaces? I tied them with artisan precision, perfectly symmetrical, calculating the tension of the knots, lacing each one with care.
This isn't just dawdling. It's the desperate, tear-jerking nonviolent resistance of one little citizen, Lee Garam, against an unjust fate.
Knock knock knock.
"Mayor, time to..."
The driver's voice from outside the door.
Ah, already 30 minutes late? Why does happy time fly by so fast?
"Ah, Driver Kim. I'm not taking the official car today. Yeah, I'll commute by gondola."
"Pardon? But... taking the gondola will add at least an hour to get to City Hall."
Exactly! That's what I want! I cheered inwardly but kept an affable smile on my face.
"Driver Kim, think about it. Experiencing the transportation that serves as the citizens' feet, at their eye level, and hearing their real voices firsthand! Isn't that the true duty of a mayor?"
I delivered the cringeworthy line with utmost confidence.
The driver looked moved, tearing up with a "Mayor...!" Of course, my real thoughts were elsewhere.
'Official car: 15 minutes. Gondola: 1 hour. That's nearly an hour of free time. Kuhuhu!'
My steps toward the pier were lighter than ever.
Boarding the gondola, the gondolier started rowing vigorously.
With the creak of the oars, the gondola smoothly cut through the water.
Yes, this leisure. This laid-back pace. The sinful pleasure of getting paid without working. Perfection.
"Mayor! Morning apples are golden apples! Have one! On the house!"
We were passing the Guwol-dong floating market.
A fruit vendor lady shouted from the gondola beside us, beaming.
There was a pretty wide waterway between me and the fruit stand.
How am I supposed to catch that? Is she messing with me?
Nerorong-
Just then, Nero, who had been dozing on my lap, stretched.
Shooo-
Her front paw stretched like rubber. Nero snatched two red apples precisely from the lady's hand, at least 10 meters away.
Back to normal size in an instant, she tossed one to me like nothing happened and devoured hers.
...Just how far does your bizarre ability go?
I casually bit into the apple, pretending to be unfazed.
Crunch.
The bursting juice was sweet.
"Whoa! It's the mayor!"
"Nero's here too!"
"Mayor rocks! Long live the water city!"
But my heart sank. The floating market I created was so vibrant.
I hated myself. Why did I make such a livable city?
Draining residential areas - done by the staff.
Converting commercial districts to waterways - staff.
Turning it into a tourist attraction - staff.
Me? I just grumbled "Can't we leave the water?"
And the result? A huge success. How?
They drained most residential areas to minimize disruption, converted narrow commercial alleys and old downtown to waterways, capturing both tourism and convenience. Anyone would call this a competent mayor's achievement.
The city buzzed with life.
The Guwol-dong floating market teemed with morning shoppers. People bought and sold from gondola to gondola.
"Mom, do I have to go by kayak again today?"
"Yes, it's good exercise."
"If it's so great, you take it."
Kids paddled kayaks to school, couples sipped coffee on amphibious buses admiring the views.
Those in a hurry took the subway or jet-powered water taxis zipping like bullets.
At one building entrance, land taxi and water taxi drivers competed for passengers—a sight to behold.
Pedestrians crossing sidewalks and kayaks passing below had become Neo Incheon's daily norm.
Then, the gondolier behind me cleared his throat and started singing.
"Ooooh~ Solemio~~"
What the hell? Read the room.
Glancing back, he was a middle-aged man with tanned skin and a mustache—classic Mediterranean type.
"Sir, beautiful weather today, eh? Perfect for lovers... Eh?"
His eyes widened. He'd recognized me.
"Mamma mia! You're... O Solemio! The sun of Neo Incheon! Mayor Lee Garam!"
Busted. I nodded with an awkward smile.
His face lit up as he introduced himself as Antonio.
"My God! My Signore! Honored to have the mayor on my gondola! The greatest glory of Antonio's life!"
Not even an Ahn surname, but full Italian flair. A man committed to the concept.
"Ah, haha. No need for that."
"This honor! This joy! I'll pour it all into my rowing! Hold on tight!"
Boom-
Antonio's shirt burst open.
Fabric tore, buttons flew everywhere.
Revealed beneath: muscles like Michelangelo's sculptures.
Physical enhancement ability user?
He roared and rowed furiously.
"Uooooh!"
The gondola shot forward. This wasn't a gondola—it was a motorboat.
"No! Antonio! Stop! Slow! Sloooow! Andante andante!"
Scenery blurred past like bullets.
We arrived at City Hall pier 30 minutes early.
My sweet hour. My precious free time. My cherished tardiness plan—shattered.
"Mayor! The best ride of my life!"
I forced a smile at the sweating, proud Antonio.
"Haha... yes. Very impressive."
'Antonio, you bastard... I'll never forget your name or face.'
I trudged to the mayor's office door.
Whew-
It's fine. It'll work out somehow. I'll survive today too.
I opened the door.
And saw my desk perfectly set up, with the elegant Chief Secretary Seria Park standing beside it, waiting.
"Mayor, the gondola arrived earlier than expected."
Her expressionless words carried a faint whiff of mockery.
"Please sit. Briefing starts now."
I sat in resignation. Nero was already atop the document pile, blissfully asleep. Lucky cat.
"Today's morning agenda for review: 17 new ordinances on waterfront city matters, 23 revisions to gondola safety regulations, draft special law on waterway usage fees and collection..."
"Haa..."
Seria's voice scrambled my brain. Dizziness hit. She handed me a tablet.
"And a report on the issue you were concerned about."
"My concern?"
"Subway operations status."
'Subway? Oh right, the subway!'
Incompetent mayor causing massive transit chaos! At least approval ratings drop 5%!
"Neo Incheon Lines 1 and 2 are operating normally."
...Huh?
"Neo Incheon Lines 1 and 2 are fully operational. The waterways using the Haeryong Church's Leviathan system are designed only to basement level 1 depth, not conflicting with deeper subway tunnels."
"Oh, really?"
I replied indifferently. Truth: I hadn't thought of it at all.
"Commuter traffic dispersed across water, land, and underground reduced chronic subway and road congestion by 34%. Citizens are highly satisfied. Was this your calculation too, Mayor?"
I stared blankly at Seria.
Me? Me doing such profound planning?
No, I just whined about not draining the water! The Leviathan system handled it all!
"Ahem, something like that."
My voice came out casually knowing, all-seeing.
...Succeeded again.
Half land, half water.
Neo Incheon's like an amphibian. If I'd flooded the whole city, at least I'd get hate...
I clutched my confused head and looked out the window. Citizens happily gondola-ing flickered by.
Morning hell called "work" ended, ushering in a ray of light. Lunchtime.
Forget the sanctity of labor—humanity advanced solely for this liberation. I believe that.
"You've worked hard these days, so I'll treat you specially today."
Seria Park, walking beside me, said.
No warmth in her voice, but the offer was sweet as rain in drought.
"Though I highly doubt your efforts actually helped the city."
That thorny tongue. But fine. All forgiven—it's lunchtime.
We headed to a floating restaurant docked at City Hall pier.
"Aqua Vita," a renovated 3-story cruise ship. Neo Incheon's new landmark, circling waterways slowly, serving gourmet amid stunning cityscapes.
"Oh, booking this place? You're full of surprises."
Impressed inwardly, I boarded. Minimum 2-hour course—the loop takes that long.
Two hours of legit slacking. My mouth waters at the thought.
"I booked the express course."
"Express?"
"Yes. Ultra-fast business lunch—all done in 30 minutes."
Seria severed my joy instantly.
She was already seated by the window, napkin on lap.
Sat down, and the restaurant glided off.
Neo Incheon's scenery flowed like a painting.
Flower-laden gondolas wafted scents; gondoliers chatted repairing oars.
A young man strummed guitar on a stage boat, crowd applauding.
Peaceful. So peaceful it's despairing.
"Mayor?"
A mouthwatering handmade burger appeared. Thick patty, fresh veggies, melting cheese. Perfect.
I grabbed it with both hands, chomping wide.
Chomp chomp. Crunch crunch.
Sauce on lips? Lettuce falling? Who cares.
Burgers are meant to be devoured like this.
Why humans have hands. Walk upright. Evolved thumbs.
All for gripping burgers. Science, history, truth.
Across from me, she dissected hers elegantly with fork and knife.
Slice by slice, like a surgeon.
What is she doing?
"Miss Seria, burgers aren't eaten like that. With hands! Grip with these two hands! Bite savagely! That's the essence! Fork and knife? Blasphemy against burgers!"
Speech done.
This is the commoner's way. Raw, unrefined charm.
Chance to school the noble lady.
Seria glanced at me.
Her teal eyes scanned top to bottom, left to right.
Clink.
She set down utensils.
Oh, did I win?
Her slender white fingers gently gripped the burger.
She ate.
But the moment she bit, I realized.
Some unfairness defies words.
No sauce dropped.
No veggie bits fell.
Lips moved small and graceful; even chewing silent.
Holding with hands, yet like a princess savoring canapés at a royal banquet.
What? This defeat?
Can't win. Never against her.
Seria indeed.
"Hey! Real mayor!"
"Whoa, handsomer than TV."
Whispers from nearby tables.
They recognized me, eyes full of respect and thanks.
Damn. I'm the villain plotting to embezzle taxes and flee!
Then, a toddler waddled over, tugging my pant leg.
"Mayor!"
Big sparkling eyes looking up.
"Flood our school! Then no school!"
Genius? Kumon worksheets?
Admired the kid's pure malice.
Yeah, great idea. Sink an elementary school, tank my ratings?
I patted his head with max affable smile.
"Haha, little friend. Great idea. I'll consider positively."
Kid beamed like he owned the world, ran to mom.
"Mom! Mayor said he'll flood school!"
"Kid! Don't say that!"
"Why? Mayor said yes?"
Satisfied. Mayor planting dreams in kids. How cool.
Finished eating, left restaurant.
"Still, waterways made lunchtime leisurely. This is welfare."
I said loud enough for her.
"Yes. So I advanced afternoon schedule 30 minutes. Waterway safety inspection and site visit."
Seria's reply smacked my head.
She took another bite casually.
"Oh? Site visit by gondola then. Leisurely, hear citizens, right?"
Last hope. Desperate time-drag attempt.
"Jet boat ready. 5 minutes."
Resignation. Yes, resignation's all I can do. Silently stuffed remaining burger.
Sleek jet boat idling at pier, waiting.
Pushed aboard by Seria.
Rooooar-
Jet boat surged, spraying water.
Fast. Too fast. Water missile, not boat.
"Gyaaaah!"
My scream shredded by wind, scattered into Neo Incheon's waterways.
Splashhh-!
Spray hit face. Assault by H2O. Water so violent?
Redefine water: life source or destruction tool?
"Mayor, duck."
"What?"
Clang!
Passed under bridge. Nearly brained myself.
"Warn me!"
"I just did."
"0.5 seconds isn't warning!"
Protest drowned in spray.
Soaked. Utterly drenched.
Expensive suit clung; hair plastered to forehead.
Spray mercilessly soaked face and suit.
This is my life. Flailing in waves of so-called success.
'Water city, huh. Only I'm drowning.'
Drowned rat.
Is that apt?
Rats swim well. Don't underestimate rat survival.
Then what am I, pathetic mayor turned dripping sponge?
Drowned cat.
Ah, cats. Cats hate water.
Yes, I'm a drowned cat.
Pathetic thing panicking in cold reality's deluge, thrashing regardless of will.
"Mayor. Next: Catopia inspection. Get inside before you catch cold."
Immaculate Seria urges tonelessly beside me.
Wait.
I'm drenched misery; why is she fine?
Not a drop on her? Invisible shield during ride?
World's unfairness focused on me alone.
Catopia. My cat paradise.
Shaking wet suit, opened Catopia door.
Warm air and dozens of cats' lazy scents welcomed me.
Yes, always peaceful here. Flood or fire, only treats and naps matter.
Cat towers like skyscrapers, skywalks connecting. Cats napped in hammocks, hunted auto-fishing toys, groomed on cushions. Air scented premium kibble and catnip.
And at the pinnacle...
Meow-
Far atop cat tower, Nero spotted me, meowed regally.
My sole comrade. Soulmate.
Only one grasping non-work greatness.
Staggered to Nero.
"Nero... only you. Who gets this world's absurdity, labor's futility..."
Nero, oblivious or not, just rubbed cheeks, purring on my wet face.
Warm soft fur infused tiny heat into my damp heart.
Then, lightbulb—or dam burst fitting this flooded city.
"Seria!"
Hugging Nero tighter, turned shouting. Eyes burning hope.
"New project!"
Seria eyes unmoving. Her cold gaze fueled me.
"Neo Incheon Amphibious Cat Rescue Force! Codename: Cat Rescue Force!"
Silence.
All Catopia cats glared as one.
"Cats' agility and flexibility! Perfect for rescues in narrow waterways, debris! Imagine! Cute cats in tiny life vests swimming, saving citizens! Beyond rescue—city mascot, global PR!"
"Mayor. You lack basic cat knowledge."
"Nonsense! I'm a cat expert! Don't underestimate Nero and my bond!"
Confidently shouted, filled basin nearby. Picked gentlest-looking Ragdoll carefully.
"See. This one's bravery."
As cat neared water.
Hiiiik-!
Demonic screech from Ragdoll.
Pummeled my arm with kitty punches.
Pow! Pow! Pow!
Soft paw pads only. No claws.
Not painful. Not at all.
But humiliating. Mortifying.
Signal flare.
All Catopia cats bristled, contempt stares.
"Wh... why..."
Trembled in betrayal. What am I to you? Gave treats, food, this paradise!
"I understand your noble intent, Mayor, but unrealistic."
"But Nero..."
"Nero's special. Avoid generalization fallacy."
Only Nero yawned in my arms. Truly thoughtless.
Cat Rescue Force. Dead before start.
"To next site. Sugar Girl from Insimdang awaits anxiously."
Left Catopia engulfed in defeat. Mocking meows from behind.
Insimdang bustled as always.
New: small pier out front, gondola drive-thru.
"Mayooooor-!"
Sugar Girl dashed out, signature nasal welcome.
"You came! Perfect timing! Made something amazing for you!"
Unable to hide excitement, dragged me to kitchen.
Giant tank center.
Inside... bread.
Croissants, red bean buns, soboro. All kinds swimming leisurely.
"Wh-what is this?"
"Ta-da! Waterproof Bread! Aqua-Proof Bread! For Neo Incheon's water city!"
What?
Tongs-fished a soaked croissant.
"Hehe. Special waterproof sugar coating! Seals every pore, blocks water molecules! Melts in mouth, unleashing true bread flavor!"
Do we need water-resistant bread? Just keep dry!
Proudly halved, handed it.
Crispy outside, moist inside. Trembling, bit in.
...Delicious.
Crispy sugar melted sweetly; chewy-soft bread filled mouth. Insane. Sell in Bikini City too.
"Good? All made thinking of you. Full of love. Now shower and eat my bread! Bathtub together?"
Sugar Girl gushed proudly.
"Heroes at sea, water workers—easy nutrition! Disaster relief perfect! Tourist hit: 'Magic non-wetting bread'—foreigners buy tons!"
This yandere has business sense.
Recall: Catopia terror, instant paw-print bread bestseller.
Before Nero merch. Still sells 1,000 daily.
"Ha, haha. Revolutionary... Miss Sugar Girl. Your talent's incredible."
"Hehe. Praised by Mayor!"
Bounced like kid.
Stop bouncing. Sugar spilling.
Her sparkling eyes. Worshipful gaze.
Overwhelming. Too much.
Turned to window.
Citizens smiling.
On gondolas, waterfront terraces, shops—all enjoying city's vibrancy happily.
Catopia cats napped in sun; Insimdang bread flew off shelves.
All adapted.
All advanced.
All succeeded.
Everyone lives so diligently.
Except me.
All racing full speed to future; only I stuck in past, desperate to backpedal.