Bandit Subjugation (2)
The sound of hooves echoed rapidly—clop, clop, clop!
How should I handle this?
I glanced back. The bandits were still galloping after us on horseback. There were about thirty of them. Not an overwhelming number, but not exactly a small one either. Since when did a bunch of mountain bandits have access to so many horses? They weren’t even proper cavalry.
“W-what do we do?! Lord Black Death God!!”
“I’m thinking,” I replied.
The fact that they were all mounted was the real problem. Our side consisted of a woman in full plate armor and me—a living suit of armor. On the other hand, even if the bandits were armed, they were still just lightly equipped men. In terms of weight, we were at a massive disadvantage. To make things worse, our horse was exhausted from the forced march we’d done last night. If we kept going like this, it was only a matter of time before they caught up to us before we even reached the capital.
But on the flip side, this was also an opportunity.
If I kill them all, those horses will all belong to me.
In this world, horses were expensive. They were livestock, sure, but they were difficult to manage and cost a fortune to maintain. In other words, each one of those horses was basically a walking pile of money.
“I-I could try knocking them off with magic…”
“Do you really think you can take on dozens of mounted bandits all by yourself?”
“……”
“Yeah, I didn’t think so.”
Magic wasn’t all-powerful. There was a limit to how much mana a person could use, and beginner spells didn’t pack much punch. Taking on dozens of bandits in that state was impossible.
That left only one option.
“Hold on tight.”
“Huh? …Eek?!”
With a sharp whinny, I yanked the reins and veered hard to the right.
“L-Lord Black Death God?! This isn’t the direction to the capital…”
“I know that.”
It would take several hours of hard riding to reach the capital. The bandits were closing in fast. If we tried to outrun them at full speed, we’d all end up dead. The only thing I could rely on was my knowledge of the geography near the capital.
“Get them!”
“The bastard’s running away!”
“Kill him!!”
The bandits’ voices grew louder as they drew closer. The sharp drift had taken a heavy toll on the horse’s stamina. At this rate, we’d be caught for sure.
“Lord Black Death God, why are we going this way…?”
“Have you ever heard of the Dragon Hole?”
“The Dragon Hole? You mean… that thing in the mountain over there?”
Her finger pointed straight ahead. It was a mountain a bit taller than your average hill behind a village. A massive hole was clearly visible in its side—wide enough to fit a two-lane road.
Who the hell named this thing the Dragon Hole?
According to legend, a dragon had carved it long ago, which was how it got its name. In simpler terms, it was a naturally formed tunnel. A perfectly circular hole punched straight through the mountain, as clean as if someone had driven a giant awl through it.
A tunnel like that gave me a fighting chance.
By eliminating their rear and side angles, I can make this work.
I’d considered hiding inside a cave, but if the enemy just lit a fire at the entrance, that would be the end of it. But a tunnel? I could just run out the other side. With an escape route available, they’d have no choice but to follow me in.
“You go on ahead from here.”
“What?”
“I’ll hold them off. You head to the capital first.”
Once we reached the Dragon Hole, I dismounted and slung my greatsword over my shoulder. I handed her the reins, and our eyes met. She looked utterly confused.
“Y-you’re going to fight all of them by yourself…? No, you’ll die!”
“I won’t die.”
“The Anus Bandit Group is different! Their scale is one thing, but their equipment…”
“I know.”
A bandit group that traveled with dozens of horses. It made sense that their weapons, physiques, gear, and organization would all be top-notch. I knew all of that.
“Have you ever seen a god lose to humans?”
“…Huh? N-no, I haven’t.”
“Then there you go.”
Slap! I gave the horse a firm smack on the rump. It let out a loud whinny and bolted forward with renewed energy.
“L-Lord Black Death God!!”
Her shrill scream grew fainter by the second. I waved at her as she looked back at me, shouting. To think a noble lady would worry about me this much… it really was something you only saw after living a long time.
“Done playing hero already?”
When I turned around, the bandits had dismounted and were waiting. A few quick-witted ones seemed to have circled around the tunnel to chase after Leira, but… given the size of the mountain, they wouldn’t catch her before she reached the capital.
“Well, well. If it isn’t the great and mighty Black Death God himself.”
“That’s the Black Death God? Looks like just another idiot to me.”
“How does he plan to take on all of us? Hahaha!”
“Idiot… This Dragon Hole is gonna be your grave!”
Listening to the bandits’ declarations, I couldn’t help but laugh. They still didn’t seem to realize whose grave this was really going to be.
I leveled my greatsword at them.
“Come.”
“Kuhahaha! Fine. Boys, teach him a lesson!”
““Yes, Boss!””
Thud-thud-thud!! The moment their leader gave the order, the bandits charged. I slowly spun my greatsword, building up centrifugal force. When facing this many enemies, momentum was key. Using the overwhelming mass of the greatsword was the best approach.
“Then I’ll make my move too.”
“What the hell are you—”
Swoosh—!!
The head of the bandit at the front flew off cleanly. I didn’t stop swinging. I twisted at the knee in a motion no normal human could ever perform.
But I’m not human.
My knees and waist bent at impossible angles before whipping back around. It was a continuous spinning attack, like watching a top. My greatsword began carving through the surrounding bandits in an instant.
This was the combat style I had devised as a Living Armor.
“W-what the—this crazy monster…!”
“Look for an opening!”
“He keeps spinning so fast I can’t even see the gaps in his armor… glurk!”
“It’s the Black Death God… It’s really him!!”
The spinning top charged straight into the heart of their formation. Even so, the bandits couldn’t find their rhythm. They simply fell before the blade of the top. Their long spears couldn’t reach the gaps in my armor, and their short swords and sickles were nothing but prey for my greatsword.
In a situation where they could neither advance nor retreat, their leader finally barked an order.
“F-from a distance! Attack from range!”
“Loose the arrows!”
Thwip-thwip-thwip!
The ones who had been watching from afar fired a volley. Against full plate armor, it was no different from shooting blunt arrowheads, but the impact still carried through.
So what?
I wasn’t a person. I was a Living Armor. My body was made of armor and mana. I had no organs or muscles. As long as mana was supplied, I wouldn’t tire. Their arrows were nothing more than annoying mosquitoes.
Swoosh—!
“H-he’s a monster…”
“You idiots! Just rush him in close combat! Stop being afraid of the greatsword and swarm him!”
The frustrated leader issued new commands. He wanted them to stop the spinning at all costs. But the terrified bandits hesitated, and their heads were promptly sliced off. Even if they knew the eye of the storm was safe, none of them were willing to charge through the gale at the risk of death. Especially not bandits who lived hand-to-mouth.
In the end, the bandits fell like leaves in the autumn wind.
“Whew… Looks like you’re the only one left now, huh?”
Splatter. I flicked the blood off my greatsword. By now, all the bandits had become corpses scattered across the Dragon Hole. The only ones remaining were the trembling small fry who couldn’t even stand and their leader.
“Black Death God… I’d heard the name, but I never imagined you’d be this strong.”
“Are you the Anus of Lightning?”
“What if I am?”
The man spread both arms wide and laughed.
“I’ll admit you’re an impressive swordsman. But I am a lightning mage. One strike from me, and you’ll be completely paralyzed—unable to do a thing.”
“Hmm.”
“No matter how skilled a knight you are, you can’t dodge lightning, can you?”
He was right. Where in the world would you find a madman who could see lightning coming and dodge it? I was confident with a sword, but dodging lightning was impossible.
“So here’s my generous offer. Become my subordinate!”
“What?”
“The Anus of Lightning and the Black Death God… If we combine our strength, we could gather all the bandits and build our own nation!”
A crazed laugh—kuhuhuhu—burst from Anus’s mouth. This guy was completely insane. Well, I suppose only a lunatic would kidnap a count’s daughter and demand a ransom.
“And if I refuse?”
“If you refuse… then I have no choice. You’ll just have to die here.”
“What a funny joke.”
Clink. I pointed my greatsword at him.
“I’ll just cut your head off before you can even finish your incantation.”
“Oh? You’re worried about me?”
“Just stating facts.”
Step. I took one step closer.
“You’ll regret coming any closer.”
“Aren’t you going to cast your spell?”
“I’ll give you one last chance to become my subordinate.”
“I decline.”
Step. I closed the distance again. We were now about five meters apart. I tightened my grip on the greatsword.
“I don’t have any hobbies that involve serving under others.”
Whoosh! I took a large stride forward, preparing to swing—
“Too bad.”
“…!”
He thrust his palm toward me. In it was some kind of handle. When he pressed the button, a long yellow object shot out from the end.
Crackle!
It was a whip covered in lightning.
“You actually thought I was a mage!”
“This is…!”
Crackle! The whip struck me, forcing me to stagger back. Only now did I understand why he had been so confident. He wasn’t a mage—he was a user of a magic tool?
Whip! He immediately wrapped the whip around my armor.
“Not a bad look on you. You should’ve listened to me! Die!!”
Crackle! Sparks of lightning erupted from the whip coiled around my body. It was a power worthy of the title Anus of Lightning. Any normal person would’ve been fried like a Pikachu cutlet by now.
“Electric massage isn’t really my thing.”
“W-what?! How are you still alive…?!”
“How am I still alive? Simple.”
“Aaargh!!”
Yank! I pulled the whip hard, dragging him toward me. The man holding the handle flew straight into my face. I drove my fist squarely into his jaw.
“Guh…!”
His eyes rolled back, and he collapsed unconscious.
“Electricity doesn’t work on me, you see.”
It’s common knowledge that Steel-types halve Electric-type damage, isn’t it?