Bandit Subjugation (3)
I rode one of the horses I’d stolen from the bandits, heading back toward the capital with Anus of Lightning tied up tightly behind me. I’d used the very whip he’d been carrying since I didn’t have any rope on hand. It worked out nicely.
How much bounty are they offering for this guy?
Considering the hassle of dragging him all the way back, chopping off his head and carrying just that would be more efficient. But usually, bringing them in alive paid better. I could also sell that lightning whip of his for a decent price on the side.
And above all else, the real jackpot was…
Srrrng!
“Didn’t expect this bastard to be carrying a Mandium dagger.”
I pulled the dagger from my pocket and turned it over in my hand. It was a pitch-black blade I’d found while searching through his belongings. Strangely, it didn’t reflect any light at all—it was pure black, like a hole punched straight through reality. That was the unique property of Mandium, a mineral that existed only in this world.
They say it’s the hardest metal in existence, right?
A blade made of Mandium would never break. Armor made from it would never shatter. That was why people desperately sought it out. The problem was that demand far outstripped supply, and most of the deposits were located in the Demon Realm. That scarcity had sparked an ongoing war between the Demon Realm that possessed the metal and the Empire trying to monopolize it. That conflict was part of the backstory of the world I’d been thrown into.
But none of that mattered right now.
Time to absorb it.
Shunk.
I jammed the dagger into the gap in my elbow guard. Being a Living Armor meant I barely felt any pain. In fact, it was the complete opposite.
“Ahhh… That’s the stuff.”
The euphoric rush of Mandium spreading through my entire body. It was the only pleasure left to me after I’d lost my appetite, need for sleep, and sex drive. A few moments later, I pulled out the hilt. The blade had vanished completely, as if it had never existed. I had absorbed the Mandium and made it part of my armor.
Absorbing minerals to strengthen my armor… It’s still amazing no matter how many times I do it.
It was a reinforcement method only a Living Armor could use, and no one else knew about it. Honestly, even I didn’t understand why it worked, but since it did, I wasn’t about to complain. This was exactly why I gritted my teeth and earned every last coin I could.
A Living Armor isn’t truly invincible.
There were only two ways for one to die. Either the helmet and body separated, or the armor itself shattered beyond the point of maintaining its form.
So I have to keep reinforcing my armor.
To survive, I needed money. With that money, I had to buy as much Mandium as possible. That was why I worked as an adventurer.
“I-it’s the Black Death God!”
When I came back to my senses, I was already at the capital’s main gate. In the distance, I could see the guards scrambling around in a panic. Thanks to my growing fame, just seeing my face was enough for an automatic pass these days.
“The Black Death God has returned!”
“He really caught Anus of Lightning?”
“Open the gate, quick!”
Rumble—
The massive gate swung open with a thunderous groan before I even reached it. This kind of special treatment was always welcome. I waved at the guards, and one of them—who happened to be a drinking buddy of mine—came running over barefoot. It was Rohans.
“Berk! You… you actually took down the Anus bandit group?”
“Who do you think that is tied up behind me?”
“Whoa… insane.”
Rohans spotted Anus bound by the whip and nearly jumped out of his skin.
“You crazy bastard… I knew you’d pull it off!”
“Of course. Who do you think I am?”
“You lucky son of a—hurry up and get inside already.”
“What about the young lady?”
“Oh, right. Lady Layla made it back safely too.”
I nodded. The original goal of this request had been to safely return Layla Schwartz to the capital. I’d been a little nervous that the underlings might have recaptured her.
“Why’d you send her ahead to the capital first?”
“Even I can’t fight an entire bandit group while protecting someone at the same time.”
“…You’re probably the only lunatic in this entire capital who’d say something like that and mean it.”
“I mean it too. Let’s catch up over drinks later…”
“Ah, sorry. I’ve held you up too long. Go on in!”
I chuckled and rode through the open gate.
“Man, this place really feels like home now.”
The streets were packed with people. This was the imperial capital, Heimach. The outer districts were full of commoners and adventurers, but once you reached the center, you’d start seeing high-ranking nobles and members of the imperial family. Not that I’d ever have any reason to go that deep.
“It’s the Black Death God!”
“Wow… first time seeing him in person.”
“No way.”
“I heard he took a request from some noble this time.”
“Then the guy tied up behind him is… gasp!”
“It’s Anus! Anus of Lightning!”
“He really wiped out the Anus bandit group?”
As I leisurely rode through the streets, my ears burned from all the whispers. Whether it was because of my black armor or my growing fame, people’s attention was intense. It was embarrassing, but I couldn’t deny it felt pretty good. I deliberately slowed my horse even more as I made my way to the adventurer guild.
The half-collapsed signboard proudly displayed the words Adventurer Guild — Heimach Branch. I’d told them a hundred times to fix that damn sign, but they never listened. The guild master really was the laziest person alive.
“Watch my horse for me.”
“Y-yes, sir!”
I handed the reins to the stable hand and walked straight into the guild.
Bang!
The moment I opened the door, every eye in the room turned toward me. I hoisted Anus over my shoulder and approached the receptionist. Her eyes widened the second she saw me.
“Sir Berk! You’ve returned…!”
“Is the guild master inside?”
“Yes!”
“Thanks for your work.”
With Anus still slung over my shoulder, I climbed the creaky staircase. For big jobs like this, it was better to go straight to the top instead of dealing with the receptionist.
I threw open the second-floor door without knocking. There, sprawled lazily across the sofa and fast asleep, was a woman with her belly exposed. Her messy lime-green hair was splayed out across the cushions. Don’t let that pretty face fool you.
“Just as I expected.”
Thump!
I drew my greatsword and rapped her on the head with the flat of the blade.
“Kyaa!”
“You dumped a shit-tier request on me and then took a nap?”
“Ugh… What the—Berk? You’re back already?”
This woman’s name was Aurelia. She used to be a famous adventurer before becoming guild master, but I didn’t care about her past. To me, she was just a lazy, crude, late-twenties spinster who loved making dirty jokes and slacking off as my boss.
“I brought Anus. Give me the bounty.”
“Wow, you actually caught him?”
“Of course. I’m me, after all.”
“Yes, yes, all thanks to the great Black Death God. So, as a token of my gratitude, should I give you a handjob?”
Creak.
She made a vulgar piston motion with her wooden prosthetic arm, smirking wickedly. That’s right—her left arm was a magical prosthetic she’d gotten after losing the real one during her adventuring days. It moved thanks to magic, but its functionality was limited.
“Got anything you want me to break? What are you gonna do with that wooden toy?”
“Who knows? Maybe something like this is more stimulating.”
“Save the prosthetic arm sex jokes for someone who’ll appreciate them. Pay me first.”
“Fine, fine.”
Clink. Clink. Clink.
She immediately pulled out three pouches of gold coins and dropped them on the desk. One was the quest reward, another was Anus’s bounty… but what was the third one for?
Before I could ask, she grinned and explained.
“Ah… this one? About an hour before you got here, Lady Layla stopped by.”
“Lady Layla?”
The noble girl I’d rescued had come to the adventurer guild? I was curious what for. It probably wasn’t a complaint about me not escorting her all the way to the capital myself.
“She put in a request saying she was worried you might die and asked us to help. She left this money with the request.”
“Huh. So what did you tell her?”
“What do you think I told her?”
Thud.
She tossed the pouch against my chest. I caught it reflexively, and Aurelia smirked again.
“If it’s that guy, he’ll come back in one piece… so I told her I’d give him the money when he showed up.”
“……”
“She threw a fit asking what I meant, but I just ignored her. How’d I do? Pretty good, right?”
I silently collected all three pouches. She was a lazy, foul-mouthed, perverted old maid who only ever slept and made dirty jokes… but if there was one person in this world who truly understood me, it was Aurelia.
“I’m not going to thank you.”
“What? I even got you free money.”
“What if I had actually died?”
“The Black Death God I know wouldn’t die to some measly bandit group.”
“Cut the lip service. I’ve got my money, so if you’re done talking, I’m leaving.”
“Ah, wait!”
She grabbed my arm with her prosthetic hand.
“Before you go, hear me out. It’s a request.”
“You know my rule is to rest for a few days after finishing a job, right?”
“I know. And I also know you’re completely obsessed with Mandium.”
“…Mandium?”
My ears perked up at those two syllables. I could ignore almost anything else, but not Mandium. It was the one thing you couldn’t buy even if you had the money.
She slapped the guest table a couple of times.
“Come sit down. This request might just let you get your hands on some Mandium.”
“…What kind of request would make you this excited?”
“Arkemen… You’ve heard of them at least once while living in the capital, right?”
“Obviously.”
Arkemen. A crazy heretical cult that had been growing rapidly lately. They were a gathering of lunatics who claimed they could turn stones into gold.
“What about them?”
“Looks like they’re about to cause some real trouble this time. We got a request from the Alchemy Guild. Apparently Arkemen’s been running wild in the capital and it’s hurting their reputation.”
“……And what does that have to do with Mandium?”
“Will you just listen till the end?”
She stood on her tiptoes, leaned in close to my ear, and whispered.
“Word is, Arkemen isn’t making gold—they’re making Mandium.”
“…!!”
She looked at me with a sly, knowing smile.
“You like Mandium, don’t you?”
…As expected, Aurelia knew me far too well.