The End and the Beginning (3)
“Han Seol, one more stupid stunt like that, and you’ll regret it.”
“……”
The day after the social gathering, I nodded along as the director called me in alone and gave me a little talk.
Was that supposed to be a warning? Maybe. Yu Hye-in and I had both come out of the story room bleeding, so there was no way she was going to let it slide.
Honestly, I’d kind of baited it myself, so I’d been prepared for some of it.
He’s the one who allowed it, so don’t lay a hand on him.
What a relief. I’m practically tearing up with gratitude.
Thanks to Yu Hye-in casually telling the director not to use violence on me, it looked like I’d dodged the beating altogether.
Instead, I’d have to do every miserable chore under the sun and prepare next month’s “performance,” too.
Well, that was the point to begin with.
I’d basically injured myself on purpose so I could be punished for it. I had no intention of doing some stiff, formulaic little performance anyway.
“If you understand, get out. Starting tomorrow, come up to the director’s office.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I bowed politely and stepped out of the office.
Creaaak…
“……What the hell.”
“Han Seol, are you okay? Nothing happened to you, right?”
“Yeah.”
“I heard you got in trouble for something….”
“It’s nothing.”
I blinked at Park Do-jun, who was standing right outside the door for some reason. He’d probably already heard from the others that I was going to put on a performance next month.
“You don’t need to worry about it. More importantly, let’s talk for a second.”
“Ah, okay. Got it.”
Back then, I didn’t have even the faintest shred of closeness with anyone except Park Do-jun.
If I wanted to save the other kids, if I wanted even a little cooperation, I needed his influence.
……So it wasn’t just this period where I had no friends?
Well, that was news to me.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
“Damn it, still none….”
More than two weeks passed as I cleaned every corner of the orphanage under the guise of punishment.
I had a hazy memory of seeing the director smoking a cigar. I’d also cleaned up the story room after the kids ended up with burns from cigarettes, and I’d dealt with the lingering stench of tobacco there, too.
There had to be a lighter somewhere.
This place had been running for years. There was no way a tiny lost lighter had never turned up.
Especially since I remembered finding one myself when I was younger and handing it over to the director.
I can’t pull the same stunt as before.
Back when I set the fire in my past life, I’d swiped it while pretending to straighten the clothes of a drunk adult.
That cigarette-stinking bastard didn’t even go to this orphanage during this time.
At the earliest, he wouldn’t show up here for another year or two.
If I still can’t find it, I’ll have to somehow identify a smoker on the day itself…
For now, finding it in advance was the smartest option.
“…Looks like I’m out of luck today.”
Maybe tonight, during free time, I should make a mess of the warehouse or something and steer tomorrow’s cleaning assignment over there.
The director didn’t suspect me.
Since she couldn’t physically punish me herself, the only thing she could really make me do was hard labor like this.
She’d never imagine a twelve-year-old was planning to start a fire.
They’re all kids being gaslit into obedience, anyway.
Tap, tap—
“Ah… Han Seol…!”
“How’d it go? Did you talk to them okay?”
“Yeah. Nobody’s saying it out loud, but everyone wants to run away.”
On my way back after finishing the cleaning, I ran into Park Do-jun.
I nodded at his quiet whisper as he glanced around nervously.
There wasn’t anyone here who actually wanted to stay.
They only stayed because leaving was realistically impossible, because they’d been brainwashed into believing it was impossible, because they could only think they were supposed to be here.
“So what exactly are we supposed to do?”
“I’ll tell you the details as late as I can. If people start blabbing carelessly, we’re screwed.”
“Ah… right.”
The oldest kids here were fifteen.
Once they got to high-school age, they were sold off outside the orphanage.
In a place full of nothing but children, if I spread the plan too early, it might just tie us all down.
“What I can tell you now is… hmm. Can you pair them up?”
“Pair them up?”
“Take the older brothers and sisters and the younger kids, and make pairs—about two per person.”
“Why?”
“So when we need to run or move, we can save time. It’s going to get really chaotic, and the little ones will panic first. It’ll be cleaner if the older ones guide them directly.”
“Ah, got it. I’ll pair them up according to age…!”
We had two weeks left.
All I needed was the lighter. After that, there wouldn’t be much difficulty left.
I’d already worked out the fuel and the escape route in my head.
Since I’d done this once before, the path became obvious the moment I looked at the situation, even if the details had changed.
“Park Do-jun.”
“Yeah?”
“You having fun?”
“……Yeah. Ever since you changed, Han Seol, you’ve just been weirdly reliable, I guess.”
“Changed, huh….”
I let out a bitter smile at the sight of Park Do-jun grinning at me.
In the end, maybe all of this was nothing more than my own self-satisfaction.
Every so often, when I felt how unreal this place was, a sour bitterness would rise up in me.
“Han Seol?”
“Do you study at all?”
“Study?”
“You’ve gotta be smart if you want to fly a plane.”
“……Really?”
“Your big bro will teach you a bit.”
“You?”
Yeah, well. I was still probably better than him.
I’d lived more than ten years longer than he had, after all.
“Come on.”
“……Okay!”
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
Got the lighter, and the escape route is fully checked.
There were only two places with landline phones: the director’s office and the admin office.
I’d merged my past experience with all the information I’d gathered while cleaning the place over the last month and made a perfect map in my head.
Yu Hye-in’s influence was apparently pretty serious, because none of the troubles I’d been worried about happened. I was able to move around and dig up all kinds of things without any real interference.
Of course. I’d cleaned so thoroughly they couldn’t even complain about the state of the place.
I’d made everything so immaculate it was practically worthy of daily praise, just so they couldn’t pin anything on me.
Anyway, I’d been a runaway orphan before, then I’d gone and served in the army, so what was this level of cleaning supposed to be?
“Han Seol, I’m done.”
“……Okay.”
The day before the social gathering.
Late at night, after I’d finished setting up the banquet hall and the story room, I spoke quietly with Park Do-jun.
“But are you sure this is really okay? What if we get caught…?”
“Even if we do, we’ll find a way. Don’t worry.”
“……”
He looked uneasy about the expensive liquor bottle in my hand.
It was a pricey vodka that looked like it had cost at least a few hundred bucks.
I’d found it in the director’s private storage and pocketed it, along with the lighter I’d discovered there for the cigarettes.
It was the strongest alcohol among the things I’d found.
It wasn’t the most expensive, so the director probably wouldn’t notice right away.
Thank God I’m twelve.
She must have liked how flawlessly I’d cleaned everything, because under the guise of punishment, she’d even handed over her private spaces to me.
If I’d been just a little older, she would never have let me into a room like that.
“How’s the banquet hall setup?”
“I did it the way you said. Not everyone agreed, but… they said they won’t interfere.”
“That’s enough.”
Out of the twenty kids, including me and Park Do-jun, two refused to cooperate.
They were scared. Frightened.
They didn’t know what might happen to them.
I’d told them I’d take full responsibility, but that apparently wasn’t enough.
Still, they promised not to interfere, so that was the best I could ask for.
“Their partners know too, right?”
“Yeah. I took age into account and grouped together the people who were already close.”
“And the older brothers and sisters know when and where to move?”
“I’ve passed it on perfectly.”
“Good work.”
“This secret-operation feeling is kind of exciting.”
“Heh, is it?”
I hadn’t given the other kids in the orphanage anything too heavy to do.
Just a few bits of prep work, and an explanation of when and where to run.
The actual operation was basically just me and Park Do-jun.
I don’t want to leave behind some stupid trauma or something.
All I could do was take every sin onto myself and give everyone else freedom.
“……Do you really think we can get out of here?”
“Absolutely.”
“……How can you be so sure?”
“Been there, done that.”
“……You’ve done it?”
At the sight of Park Do-jun blinking at me, I let out a snort.
I had no intention of explaining it in detail. He wouldn’t believe me anyway.
I just brushed it off, telling him it wasn’t something he needed to worry about.
He figured out I was different right away.
A few weeks ago, I’d bluntly told him I’d changed.
He seemed to think it was just some kind of change in my state of mind, but he was the sort of kid who could spot things like that instantly, just like the only friend I had.
“Feels a little late to ask now, but… don’t you feel guilty or anything?”
“Guilty?”
“I won’t have to see it directly, but… you know exactly what I’m trying to do, right?”
“Yeah, not at all.”
“……Is that so.”
I gave a bitter smile at how calmly he said it, his face showing no emotion at all.
Right. He might not say it, might not show it, but inside, he’d probably screamed for them to die a hundred times over.
The other kids, too—some too nervous to sleep, some already lost in dreamland.
They all hated the adults, hated anyone who stepped foot inside this place.
What a stupid question.
Maybe because I’d come back after so long, my emotions had gone a little flat for no reason.
“Park Do-jun.”
“Yeah?”
Thud.
“Count on me tomorrow.”
“Leave it to me.”
We exchanged a light fist bump and smiled.
Tomorrow, when darkness descended on the sky and the end of it burned red.
And when the blue sky returned to us again,
you and the other kids would all get your freedom back.
I’d make sure of it, no matter what it took.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
Click—
“It’s been a while since our Seol-ie came out to greet me like this, hasn’t it?”
“……”
The day of the social gathering.
Early evening, when the guests were beginning to arrive one by one.
I stood in front of Yu Hye-in just as she was about to enter the banquet hall and greeted her with a slight bow.
People around us glanced at her as they passed, eyeing the mask on her face, and I gritted my teeth before stepping closer to her.
Squeeze.
“You told me to look forward to it, but I didn’t expect you to come on so boldly right from the start.”
“……Go tell the director to wait in the room instead of coming to the banquet hall.”
I wrapped my arms around her waist like a child and spoke in a voice only she could hear.
“Hmm… and why would that be? Is there something I’m not supposed to see?”
“You’re not interested in anything except me, anyway.”
“But Big Sis wants to see our Seol-ie’s performance, too.”
So she knew.
Of course she did. The director must have told Yu Hye-in in advance.
In fact, she’d probably gotten permission from her first instead of from me.
Whether I was allowed to perform, whether it was okay to have me perform at all.
Since I was basically treated like Yu Hye-in’s property, they’d probably checked with her before making any decisions.
And she’d have given the okay exactly the way I told her to stay still and say yes.
Rustle.
“Didn’t I say I’d make this fun? It’s Seol-ie’s performance, so if Big Sis is the only one who can’t watch it, wouldn’t that be a little unfair?”
“……”
“Just thinking about showing Seol-ie to other people already makes me angry, but Big Sis is holding it in for Seol-ie’s sake.”
I squeezed my eyes shut as her hand crawled like a snake from the back of my neck to my waist.
The stench of her heavy perfume filled my nose, making me want to gag, and I clutched the hem of her clothes as I forced my mouth open.
“……I’ll give Big Sis a special performance, so go wait inside.”
“You know even Seol-ie finds that hard to believe, right? That you suddenly changed your personality like this… or what on earth you’re hiding… I really don’t know anything at all, but….”
Clutch.
“Big Sis loves Seol-ie for real, so I’ll believe you this once, okay?”
“……”
“Then let’s see you entertain Big Sis for today.”
She pulled me into a tight hug and kissed the top of my head before taking a step back.
After glancing around casually, she turned toward the director, who had already been watching us, and I clenched my teeth hard.
If you die the same way, it won’t be fun.
Since I’d been given a second chance, saving Park Do-jun and the other kids was my top priority, but erasing everything about you completely was one of my goals too.
“……”
Yu Hye-in walked up to the director and said something while pointing at me, and I quietly turned my gaze away.
She’d handle it herself. There was no need for me to stick my nose in.
All I had to do was be the reason I moved at the right moment.
Tap, tap—
“Han Seol.”
“……Yeah.”
“Ready.”
“……Right.”
When I entered the kids’ dressing room, Park Do-jun quietly called out to me.
I glanced at the children getting dolled up in ways that didn’t suit their age at all, and they swallowed nervously before meeting my eyes one by one.
I’ll get every single one of you out of here, so don’t worry.
After meeting each gaze with calm assurance, I turned slowly toward Park Do-jun and spoke.
“I’ve got one last thing to do. Wait for me.”
“……Okay.”
“If I’m late, can you buy me some time?”
“Leave it to me.”
Even though he was obviously tense, he forced a smile, and I lightly tapped his chest with my fist before turning away.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
“……Director.”
“What are you doing here? The performance prep is all done, so—”
“The person I’m supposed to thank said she didn’t like the alcohol.”
“That can’t be…. I arranged each one to suit her tastes. Don’t tell me you brought something different from what I told you to bring?!”
“No, I did exactly as instructed. She only said she was in a different mood than usual.”
“……”
“That crazy bitch Yu Hye-in….”
At the director’s frown, I swallowed quietly.
The director would buy it. She couldn’t go against Yu Hye-in.
She knew perfectly well how much Yu Hye-in doted on me, and she probably already knew that Yu Hye-in had said she’d wait in the room earlier.
She’d be suspicious, sure, but she wouldn’t have the nerve to ask directly.
She wouldn’t want to sour Yu Hye-in’s mood for no reason, and even if she did decide to check, it wouldn’t matter.
That woman would just smile and agree, thinking I was up to something.
“Director, it’s been a while.”
“Ah…. Y-yes! Yes! It has been a long time. Thank you sincerely for honoring our Love Orphanage with your precious presence.”
At the voice from behind us, the director spun around in a hurry and answered brightly.
She flashed a grin at the shopping bag from a famous luxury brand, and I bowed slightly from the side with a faint smile of my own.
“It’s just a small token. Please accept it. I’ll be waiting inside, then.”
“Yes, yes, of course. Please enjoy your day.”
The director kept bowing over and over until the middle-aged man had passed us by, then twisted her face in a scowl and looked back at me.
As more and more guests kept arriving, she bit her lip and leaned in close to my ear.
“……You remember the place you cleaned before?”
“Which place?”
“The one in the basement level two. The one you get into by entering a password.”
“The place you unlocked for me, you mean?”
“Yeah…. Haah… I don’t have time now, so go by yourself and fetch the liquor I’m about to tell you.”
Nod.
“And for the love of God, don’t piss that bitch off, understand? If you pull a stunt like last time, I don’t care whose orders she’s giving, you’ll really be dead.”
Okay.
I nodded while hiding my expression, exactly as expected.
The director was busy serving the other VIPs. She’d probably think it was a waste of time to go fetch it herself.
“Director! Good to see you, man. Everything all right?”
“Chairman Kim…! It’s been a while!!”
She saw everyone who came here as nothing but a money tree, so she couldn’t exactly ignore the VIPs waiting behind her.
And I did come here on purpose, at this exact timing.
“The password is—”
With an awkward smile fixed on her face as she turned back to the guest, she quickly whispered into my ear.
I grinned.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇