The End and the Beginning (4)
‘It’s my second time here, but damn, this place is impressive.’
I stepped into the director’s private room and let out a dry laugh.
Even I, who didn’t know much about liquor, recognized more than a few bottles at a glance. There were years-old brands, fancy brandies, all sorts of alcohol neatly lined up, and the sight of it made me snort again.
“First, grab two bottles worth using.”
Since I didn’t really know what was what, I picked out the two most carefully stored bottles of liquor and set them aside. Thirty-year and thirty-five-year stuff. I didn’t know the market, but they were probably worth hundreds of thousands, maybe millions of won. Even if they weren’t, it didn’t matter. It wasn’t like I was going to drink them.
Pop!
Shhhlosh—!!
“Damn, how much money is this, anyway?”
I opened every bottle I could see and splashed the contents everywhere around the room.
The feeling that I could turn the director’s money into trash with a single flick of my hand was so intoxicating it practically flooded my brain with dopamine.
From the sofa to the wooden table, the floor, even the clothes scattered around—it went everywhere, until the stink of alcohol rose so sharply it was almost choking.
‘That should do it.’
I tucked the two expensive bottles I’d set aside into a shopping bag I’d found nearby, along with some pricey-looking snacks—cheese, crackers, or whatever the hell they were.
Beep—
Shhhhh!
Wrinkling my nose at the stench, I opened the door and splashed alcohol far down the hallway too.
No one would be coming here at this hour. The director might return once the banquet ended, but… whatever. She wouldn’t be coming back to enjoy it, anyway.
‘I don’t need to burn the place down all the way, though.’
Holding the strongest bottle at a slant, I slowly soaked the floor from the second basement all the way up to the ground floor, as if I were pouring oil.
The banquet hall on the fourth floor, the story rooms on the second and third—I intended to make sure that no matter how anyone escaped the banquet hall, they would never be able to leave the building.
Whoosh!
‘Now for the next step.’
After tossing the empty bottle aside, I headed straight for the management office. I was carrying a gift those bastards could never in their lives imagine stealing, all so I could get the means to open and close the orphanage’s iron gate.
* * * * *
Knock, knock.
How long had I walked from the banquet hall, buried deepest inside the building, to the entrance?
At last, I stood before the iron gate and knocked on the door of the container-made management office.
Creak.
“……What the hell do you want? How are you here? Hey, what time do you think it is?”
“It’s not started yet, but…”
‘Jesus, do you people ever air this place out?’
I forced my expression still as the manager opened the door. The stench of cigarettes, then stale body odor—compared to that, the alcohol smell from earlier felt like perfume.
“The director sent me.”
“……What?”
I smiled at the two men, who scratched their heads and blinked in confusion, making myself look as innocent as possible, with not a trace of suspicion.
“She told me to bring this over…”
I handed them the bottles of liquor and snacks I’d brought, smiling stupidly.
“……This?”
“What is it?”
The two of them glanced at the contents and frowned. Anyone watching might have thought they were suspicious, but I knew better.
These idiots were just as useless in real life, which was why I’d gotten away from them in the first place.
“She had you bring this to us?”
“Yes.”
“……Hey, this is insanely expensive. Look, it’s a ten-million-won bottle!!”
Watching one of them search the liquor online on his phone, I smiled inwardly.
In a backwater country orphanage like this, there was no way the guys smoking cigarettes in the management office were sane.
Together, they probably had dozens of criminal records.
They were the kind of trash who kept working here even though they knew exactly what went on in the orphanage.
‘There’s no way they have anything like pride in their work.’
Back in the day, I’d handed them liquor the same way, and they’d gotten so drunk they’d spent the whole time passed out.
“……Why?”
“I’m not sure about that part. I think it might have something to do with a guest who gave something to the director earlier?”
“Hey, there was someone who came by with a gift earlier, right?”
“It was probably Chairman Jeong.”
“She said everyone could rest, since nobody’s allowed to leave during the friendship party anyway.”
“……”
The two of them seemed to piece things together and grinned.
It wasn’t just ordinary soju or beer, and on the day of the friendship party, nobody was allowed to leave the building in the first place.
The event was about to start, and one of the key performers was standing right here?
And carrying some expensive liquor no one could even verify the source of?
‘They’ll just assume it’s real, or fake, and not care either way.’
If they got caught, or if anything happened, they could always pin it on me.
They didn’t care in the slightest what happened to the kids here. They were just selfish bastards who cared only about whatever amused them in the moment.
‘That stupid way of thinking is gonna get you killed, too.’
“Damn… fuck. The stuff next to it’s even more expensive?!”
“……Thanks, kid.”
With a broad grin, they accepted the shopping bag, and I bowed politely.
Before long, the two of them were swapping curses and starting their drinking session, and I turned away, reaching up to the key ring hanging beside the doorknob.
‘Just as I thought—it’s still in the same place it used to be.’
I’d been ready to make a scene and launch a group assault if I had to, but it was a relief that it was exactly where I remembered it being.
* * * * *
After hiding the key where I’d planned, I went back to the dormitory, grabbed the vodka and lighter I’d prepared in advance, stuffed them into a small bag, and sprinted all the way back to the banquet hall.
“Han Seol…!”
“Phew… I’m not late, am I?”
“The director was looking for you, but… I think you’ll be okay.”
“Take care of it for me, friend.”
“…Okay.”
Park Do-jun, who’d been fidgeting nervously as the moment drew near, finally managed a bright smile.
At that awkward, naïve look, I smiled bitterly and waited for the friendship party to begin.
Click—
Then, after another ten or so minutes passed, and the moon and stars had risen high in the late-night sky—
“Today, for our Love Orphanage—”
The director, dressed up in a way that suited her poorly, climbed onto the stage.
She was gripping the microphone and showering the audience with thank-yous, and I watched her coldly, waiting for my turn to be mentioned.
“We’ve prepared a special performance for everyone who joined us today.”
“Go on. Move to the front.”
I nodded, tightened my grip on the bag, and slowly headed toward the stage.
My introduction went on and on.
Adults’ eyes turned toward me at the news that I, the one Yu Hye-in treasured, had been brought to the stage.
“Please give him a big round of applause.”
She lowered the mic with a pleasant smile, and I climbed onto the stage and took it from her hand.
“What’s in the bag?”
“Props. Want to check?”
“……Tch. Fine. Just don’t screw this up. I’ll make sure you regret it for the rest of your life if you do.”
I lifted my shoulders with a confident shrug and smiled.
After the director stepped down and I was left alone on the stage, I looked over the faces in the banquet hall.
Nervous children. Adults full of expectation. The director, scowling at me, and Park Do-jun, who was taking deep breaths to steady himself.
‘I didn’t think I’d get trapped in the Mind Tower for a whole month.’
I’d barely made it this far. I’d never imagined I’d end up seeing those disgusting faces again.
My heart was already pounding at the thought of showing these people, who were looking forward to my performance, hell itself.
“Thank you sincerely for taking the time to visit our Love Orphanage again today.”
I gave the same polite greeting I always did, smiling as I stood straight and tall.
The director glared at me, but I didn’t care in the slightest; I just flashed her a grin.
“Tonight, I’d like to present our guests with a performance they’ll never forget for the rest of their lives—something they’ll only see once.”
Then, beaming like a child, I lifted the bag I’d brought just a little.
“I need a little time to prepare. Would you mind waiting just one minute?”
I watched as everyone exchanged uncertain looks at my question, then turned toward the space beside the stage. A back door connected to the emergency stairs, and a small area behind the stage where the lights could be adjusted.
Drip, drip, drip….
“Ugh….”
I opened the bag, shoved the lighter into my pocket, and doused the clothes I was wearing with vodka until they were soaked through.
Vodka alone wouldn’t make this place go up instantly. For a more dramatic effect—something that would look like part of the performance—I drenched both my top and bottom in alcohol as much as I could.
‘What exactly it is probably won’t matter.’
Lotion, oil—whatever.
Those perverted bastards below the stage would probably put on their own filters and see whatever they wanted to see, anyway.
Step.
“First, let me show you how sincere I am.”
Everyone’s eyes widened at the sight of me, soaked through in an instant.
Seeing the director tilt her head in confusion, I smiled sweetly.
Rustle.
I took off all my drenched clothes in full view of everyone and folded them neatly beside me.
As I knelt there, I muttered curses at the grinning director in my head and picked up the microphone.
She must have thought this sudden wetness, and me laying my clothes to the side, were all part of the act.
“Would it be all right if I adjusted the lighting a little?”
Another question that was awkward to answer.
When the adults turned to the director, she nodded as if to say it was fine—do whatever you want.
“I can’t get up from where I am, so my friend will help me.”
Park Do-jun, who’d been standing near the stage, slowly climbed up.
We exchanged a brief look, brushed past one another, and adjusted the lights exactly as we’d planned.
Thud—
“……”
“……What was that?”
Blackout.
Amid the rising murmur, I quietly closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
‘They even covered the windows that were already here with false walls, and then blocked those with blackout curtains.’
Did they at least know they were doing something shameful?
Right now, this place was swallowed in perfect darkness.
For adults who couldn’t even bring a single phone in here for security reasons, there was no way to light up the room.
The murmuring grew louder and louder, and the faint scraps of vision that remained vanished completely.
“Ahh—”
Holding the microphone, I let out a loud test note.
From here on out, I had to buy the children time to escape.
In this darkness, the only voice in the room would pull everyone’s attention to me. The moment they heard me, everyone here would assume this was all part of the “performance.” That it was just one more piece of the special show I’d prepared.
And because I’d just taken my clothes off in front of everyone, no one would suspect a thing.
They’d think the lights would come back on any second, and keep staring only at the stage where the voice came from.
“……A little airplane, a little airplane in the sky.”
I sang the children’s song with all the innocence of a kid, filling the banquet hall with my voice.
It was the first time I’d ever sung in front of this many people, and for some reason my chest kept fluttering with nerves.
“Fly, fly—”
The moment I started singing was the signal to escape.
Even in the dark, I’d arranged them so they could stand close enough to reach one another if they stretched out a hand. So they could make it to the door together. We’d practiced every night in the dormitory for days.
‘Take it slow, guys.’
If they trusted one another and leaned on each other, they could get out even without seeing a thing.
These were kids who’d swallowed tears and screams more times than I could count. Even now, they would clamp hands over their mouths and move silently, without making a single sound.
“Fly our airplane high, high into the sky—”
The reason I chose this lullaby was simple.
I picked it because I wanted Park Do-jun to hear it.
It would have been weird for a kid to sing some strange pop song, and this seemed like it would feel more like a proper event.
“The airplane I made—”
Boom…!
At the faint sound from where the door stood far away, I smiled.
“Fly, fly—”
Feeling around in the dark, I took a lighter from the neatly folded clothes’ pocket.
“Fly high, high—”
Then, on the stage, I struck a tiny flame with it.
“Our airplane—”
I stood up, holding the alcohol-soaked shirt in my hand.
Whoosh—!!!
I set the edge of the cloth on fire and hurled it straight onto the nearest table below the stage.
“……!!”
As the tablecloth caught, the darkness around us flashed bright in an instant.
Once I saw everyone’s attention shift from me to the flames, I picked up the pants I’d left behind.
“Aaaahhh!!”
Crash!!
The woman sitting at that table shot up in a panic.
The liquor bottles I’d opened in advance rolled off the table from the impact and spilled all over the floor.
“Park Do-jun!!”
“I left the door open!!”
I sprinted toward the back door connected to the emergency stairs.
After I lit the remaining pants with the lighter and threw them at the entrance, I ran straight for the emergency stairwell.
Bang—!!
After blocking the door, I bolted for the first floor without looking back.
“Are you sure this is okay, Han Seol?!”
“Ah…! That’s not all I prepared!!”
-Aaaahhh!!
-Uwaaaahh!!
-Save me!! Somebody help meee!!
I shouted back, hearing the banquet hall’s screams come through in ragged, frantic bursts.
There were countless bottles of liquor on the tables.
Under normal circumstances, their caps would have been on and they’d have sat in the center of the table—but not tonight.
I’d told them to open all the caps ahead of time. I’d also told them to place the bottles right at the table’s edge so even a small impact would knock them to the floor.
I’d let the blackout curtains hang longer than usual, too, to help the fire spread.
‘A sealed room, and no lights coming back on.’
In a space where the only light was flame, screams would pile on top of each other and send everyone into panic almost instantly.
Even if someone barely bumped a table in the dark, the tablecloth and bottles would tumble to the floor and become fresh fuel.
“What about the door on the other side?!”
“We can only trust it and hope!!”
The kids who’d already escaped through the front door would have barricaded it with the brooms and mops we’d worked hard to use earlier.
It might eventually break open, but that didn’t matter. In a room without windows, flames that spread this fast would swallow everyone before long.
Even if someone managed to get out, all I needed was time.
Buying the children enough time to escape was enough.
Tap!
“That way…!!”
“Did you get the key?!”
“I think so!!”
By the time I’d run downstairs and circled around the building, I saw the children gathered there, panting hard.
Just as planned, they were paired off two or three at a time by age, clinging tightly to one another’s hands. Even the two who’d refused to cooperate had made it out without any problems.
“Don’t just stand there—move, all of you!!”
“What about the managers, Han Seol?!”
“That side will be fine!!”
If it wasn’t, I’d deal with it somehow. They didn’t need to worry.
We looked up at the upper floors of the building, where the banquet hall sat sealed with no hint of the smoke escaping, let alone any sign that the fire had started, and I broke into a run.
“You only need to use these two keys!! Got it?!”
“Y-yeah!!”
Leading everyone forward, I took back the key I’d prepared in advance and gave Park Do-jun a quick explanation.
Tap…!
At last we reached the first iron gate, in front of the management office.
“Han Seol…!!”
‘So even with a high enough proof, they still can’t be trusted to stay asleep, huh…!’
My face twisted at the sight of the managers, their faces beet-red as they drank.
“……What are you doing?! Run, now!!”
“What about you, Han Seol?!”
“I’ll buy you time, so you go open the door first!!”
After shouting at the kids who hesitated, I dashed straight toward the management office.
Bang—!
“Hic! W-what the hell, what are you doing here?!”
“Urp… this fucking—!!”
I clenched my fist and looked around at the manager as he turned, hiccupping.
The room was filthy with all kinds of paperwork and furniture, leaving little room to move. Empty liquor bottles were scattered across the floor, as if they’d been drinking there all along.
One man was groping around for a club, while the other, grimacing and swaying, stumbled toward me.
Smack—!!
“Ghk!?”
I shoved the rolling chair in front of me with all my strength.
Thrown off by the sudden object, the bastard landed on his ass like an idiot, and when I saw the other man charge in after him, I swallowed hard.
Flash—!
‘Thanks, Wiki…!’
“You little shit!!!”
Seeing him roar with a face full of red blotches, I widened my eyes.
That kind of attack didn’t scare me in the slightest.
My body was only twelve years old, but dodging at the right moment was nothing.
Whoosh!
“Huh?!”
When his full-force strike missed, the bastard staggered forward.
Thud!
“Go to sleep and stay quiet…!!”
As he toppled forward, unable to control his momentum, I snatched the club away and smashed it down on the back of his head with all my strength.
Clack!
“Guhhh….”
“You bastard…!!”
Since I was only a child, the sound wasn’t as satisfying as it could have been.
The man who’d fallen against the chair tried to come at me again, so I tossed the club away and threw myself at the cabinet beside him with all my might.
‘Please, please…!!’
For a moment, I ground my teeth and pulled, watching the man who’d crouched down in fear of the club come closing in again—
“Han Seol!!!”
Park Do-jun came running back and grabbed the cabinet with me.
“Ah… ah…!?”
Crash—!!
The man who’d reached out to grab me was flattened beneath a steel cabinet far heavier than his own body, and—
“Aaaaghhh!!”
“Park Do-jun, run!!”
—with one arm pinned under it, he screamed while I grabbed Park Do-jun by the arm and sprinted away.
The first door stood open.
Beyond it, kids were turning the key at the second iron gate.
“Haa… haa…!”
I looked at Park Do-jun, who was gasping beside me, and slowly stopped in place.
“Han Seol?”
“……”
That should be enough. There wouldn’t be any more variables from here on out.
Even if I didn’t follow them, they should be able to get away on foot just fine.
In fact, if I wanted to help a little more, it would be better to call the police.
“Go on ahead. I’m going to make a call and come back.”
“What?! What are you talking about!!”
“Ordinary police might not be enough. The director or the other adults might have planned something.”
“Then…!!”
“Once the fire gets bigger, the police alone won’t be able to handle it, right? This whole area is mountains. We need to make the blaze as big as possible.”
We needed to make as much of a stir as possible.
I wasn’t saying I didn’t trust the police, exactly, but when I’d been rescued before, it had been thanks to the firefighters.
I just wanted to be as certain as possible.
‘And I need to settle things with Yu Hye-in, too.’
I didn’t know whether that crazy bitch was still in the story room or whether she’d slipped out leisurely on her own.
“We said we’d run away together, so why—”
“Do-jun.”
“……!”
“Thanks. For being my friend.”
“What do you mean….”
“You were my only friend. My first and last friend.”
“……”
Seeing him clamp his mouth shut, I gave a small snort of a smile.
It was the first time I’d called him by name without attaching his surname.
Yu Hye-in always called me “Seol-ah,” using my name alone, so whenever someone called to me—or whenever I called someone else—I’d make sure to include the surname too.
“Thank you. Really. I made it through because you were there.”
“Han Seol….”
“I’ll probably regret not being able to protect you for the rest of my life… and I know very well that standing here like this means nothing at all…”
“……”
“I’m sorry. For not being able to help. For being the only one who survived.”
Damn it. My emotions were getting away from me for no reason.
Like I was really some child again, my nose went hot at the sight of the friend who had left me behind.
My pure-hearted friend, who’d dreamed of becoming a pilot, had tried to leave this world by his own hand.
And after he was gone, I hadn’t even been able to take proper revenge, or say sorry, and had lived my whole life alone like trash.
“I’m really… sorry, Do-jun.”
“……”
I was filled with regrets far too late.
I hated the version of myself who’d just stayed silent and told himself there was nothing he could do, that it meant nothing.
“I’m coming back, so don’t worry. Go on ahead.”
“……”
“See? They’re all waiting over there. And it turned out just like I said it would, didn’t it? I’m the kind of guy who gets things done.”
So I forced a smile.
What would be the point of crying and apologizing now? I only hoped that, in this dreamlike world, he would at least be able to live out his dream and smile.
Tap.
“I’ll be right back, so go on first.”
I gave his chest a light push and turned away, taking a step forward.
‘God, this is so fucking miserable.’
I didn’t even know what kind of feeling this was.
I just knew everything was fucked.
I was happy and sad, irritated and relieved.
The fact that I’d done it this time overlapped with the reality that I hadn’t been able to do it before, and that contradiction hurt.
“Seol-ah!!”
“……”
“Thank you!!”
I wasn’t really twelve anymore. I’d lived through enough to die several times over, and yet—
“You have to live happily!!”
“……”
“I’m definitely going to become a pilot, so you have to get rich too!!”
Why was he talking like this was a farewell?
Did he think I was going to die? Or did he somehow know the scenario was about to end?
I didn’t know. I really didn’t know.
Rustle—
At the sight of my dead friend smiling brightly and waving, a smile slipped onto my own face without me even realizing it.
‘Goodbye, my friend.’
If there was a next time, I hoped then we could be friends who laughed together in an ordinary place.
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