Catch This Bomb!
And so the expedition began.
Though calling it an expedition was generous. We were basically wandering a dungeon so thoroughly mapped that someone had already drawn up floor plans for it—which made the whole thing feel a lot closer to patrol duty or guard work than any real exploration.
In other words, a pre-check before they started using the place for practical training.
"Gulp, gulp."
"Hey, you've been chugging water nonstop since earlier. What's with that?"
"I sweated a lot, so… wait, no—I told you to keep proper watch, didn't I? Are you turning your ears somewhere else? Completely checked out…!"
Then drink quietly enough that I can't hear it.
I clicked my tongue at the elf's nonsense as she jabbed the muzzle of her revolver into my back with one hand while clutching a water bottle in the other, and kept walking.
"Still, maybe because this is the Underground Waterway, it looks like the Coalition's been managing it separately. Not so much as a single ant down here."
"Don't let your guard down. There's a reason they used this place for training. Just because it's a labyrinth doesn't mean there aren't any Walkers…"
Twitch—
The elf's long ears flicked up and down a few times.
Had she picked up on something? I pressed myself against the wall, then carefully peeked my head around the corner she'd warned me about.
"Yeah, there really are Walkers."
"Compared to the ones in other dungeons or out in the wild, these are total small fry. Think of them more like a 'I've got escort troops, so stay away!' kind of thing—purely for show."
"I've heard of training for show, but that's a new one."
Which was probably exactly why they used them for Academy cadet exercises.
You couldn't exactly throw green students straight at wild Walkers—much less something like a Juggernaut. For getting real combat experience without getting anyone hurt, these were perfect.
"I just hit one with a rock and it barely even reacted. Really is like a scarecrow stuck out in a field."
"That doesn't mean you should drop your guard completely. Every so often you get ones that aren't like that mixed in. And we still need them for the trainees later, so let's take the long way around."
There was something I'd been wanting to try out.
I smacked my lips in disappointment and changed course as the elf directed.
But then something caught my eye.
I stopped dead in my tracks on the spot—and two springy volleyballs squashed hard into my back before bouncing off with full force.
The elf, knocked flat by the rebound off her own chest, kicked me in the ass and snapped,
"Kyah! Don't just stop walking out of nowhere?!"
You're the one who wasn't paying attention. Why are you yelling at me?
Grumbling, the elf picked up the map she'd dropped. An X-mark I hadn't seen before was now drawn on it—probably from marking the Walker's location when we collided. So she hadn't just been goofing off after all. I explained why I'd stopped.
"There's something weird over there."
"Something weird?"
"Yeah. I thought I saw something glint. I'm going to ease over and check it out. Just stay put for a second."
"What could possibly be there? Are you sure you didn't just imagine it?"
Ignoring the elf, I slowly started walking.
The closer I got, the less there seemed to be anything at all. I was tilting my head, wondering if I really had imagined it, when—
"A bell?"
"A bell?"
Something glinted at my feet again. I crouched down for a closer look—and what I found was a bell. Not just any bell, either: one hanging from a wire stretched all the way across to the far side of the waterway.
I shared the thought that surfaced from memory with the puzzled elf.
"This was set up as a perimeter alarm. It's a bell trap—I've seen them during local provocation drills."
"A perimeter against who? Against what?"
"That's what we're about to find out."
Carefully, I took the cutter the elf handed me, snipped the wire, set the bell down without a sound, and went on alert.
Even if this was the heart of Coalition territory, it was still a nasty world crawling with every kind of bastard imaginable—and something about this was already setting off alarms in my head.
"I hate to say it, but… what if these are heretics?"
"Heretics?"
"I heard about it in the Saintess Village. Apparently some heretics have shown up recently. The crackdowns got so heavy that the village's been taking the hit for no reason."
"…That's entirely possible. We can't rule out that they've set up a hideout here."
The elf's eyes narrowed to slits as she realized this was no time to be watching scarecrow Walkers. Honestly, given her marksmanship, those narrowed eyes made me more anxious than reassured—but it was still better than nothing. Back to back, we slowly advanced.
"Judging by the size of that bell earlier, it wouldn't have made that loud a sound. They might be close."
"That corner up ahead looks suspicious. Don't let your guard down."
Glued to the wall, we took turns peeking around the bend and staring down the passage for a good ten seconds at a time.
And then—another bell trap.
I signaled the elf and was just easing forward to cut the wire again when, from somewhere nearby, soft voices drifted over.
—Glory to the Light of Destruction.
—We pray to the Light of Annihilation, who shall lead us back to the beginning.
"Holy shit. They're actually here."
I crept toward the corner the voices were coming from and, same as before, carefully poked just my head out to look.
"See that light over there?"
"Yeah. Looks like they carved a hole in the wall and built some kind of chapel inside."
Through a hole cut beneath one of the lanterns hanging throughout the Underground Waterway, a soft lamplight was spilling out.
"The Academy hasn't been managing this place for years. Since the Academy usually handles the waterway maintenance themselves, these guys must have slipped in during the gap."
"Do you think they even know they dug their hideout right under Academy grounds?"
Maybe they trusted the bell traps, because there wasn't any real watch posted by the hole in the wall. The elf and I crept up to the large opening and peered inside.
"It really is a chapel."
"Let's wipe them out. Heretics are nothing if not obsessive about prayer time—so while they're all neatly clustered in one place like this, we take them."
"Isn't that a little hasty? They look way too undefended. What if there are stragglers still out there…"
"I told you. They keep prayer time religiously. Odds are everyone they've got is in there."
No sentries posted—just bell traps—while they sat there praying.
Of course we couldn't completely rule out other hideouts, but like the elf said, we couldn't pass up a chance this good: dozens of them huddled together like they were begging to be killed.
—Serve the Light of Destruction and return to purity. Offer sacrifice unto the Light of Destruction.
—Offer the blood and flesh of this vessel…
"Uh… they've got some weird magic circle drawn on the floor. Looks like they might be doing some kind of summoning ritual…?"
"Then hurry up and throw these!"
Faced with a chapel suddenly radiating a deeply sinister, dangerous atmosphere, the elf hurriedly dug through her magic poncho, pulled out grenades, and shoved them at me. I frantically yanked the safety clips and pins and lobbed them inside like a man possessed.
Clink, ting-ting—
The elf and I immediately clapped our hands over our ears and pressed flat against the wall, bracing for the blasts.
BOOM— KA-BOOM— BA-BOOM—!
—Aaaagh?!
—M-my arm, my aaarm?!
—Apostates! The apostates are here!
—The ritual must not stop! Stop them!
"Catch this bomb!"
The elf spun grenades in her hands like she was juggling and tossed them my way; I yanked the clips and pins same as before and chucked them inside like a kid throwing rocks.
More blasts followed in rapid succession, and with a wet shraaak, shrapnel, shockwaves, and chunks of flesh came flying out toward the hole where we stood. At the elf's signal, I opened up with the Tommy gun she'd handed me right before we approached the opening.
TOGAGAGAGAGAGA—!!
—Aaaagh!
—What is that?! What in the world is that thing!
—The Light of Annihilation spoke of the huma—
"Die! Die!"
"You worthless bastards! Stay home and jerk off scratching your dicks instead!"
True to its reputation as a Chicago Typewriter—a trench sweeper—the Tommy gun turned the already grenade-ravaged chapel and the heretics mid-ritual into a heap of bloody pulp.
Even with arms blown off, legs broken or severed, the heretics kept stubbornly charging our way.
—O Light of Destruction, look upon me! For you I offer this body—ghk!
"Ugh, I can't hit a damn thing! Why are you all so good at dodging for a bunch of heretics?!"
Of course, the elf was wasting bullets as usual today—hurling her revolver at the heretics like it was a throwing dagger—so practically all the real work was falling on me alone.
"Try hitting something! How come you can land every throw but can't shoot for shit!"
"I-it's not my fault! They're just way too fast—ah, fuck! Hold still already, you miserable sons of bitches!"
Thwack—!
—Gaaahk!
With one furious shout from the elf, the revolver she'd flung spun through the air like a boomerang and shattered the skull of a heretic who'd been stretching out an arm toward her, as if about to cast a spell.