Kissing My Way Out of a Bad End
Mental preparation? What kind of mental preparation are you even talking about? O-ppa♡
Stay calm, Kim Seulgi. I might not know how to handle real life, but when it comes to dating sims, I was the guy they called the Capture King, an emperor who ruled supreme. Crisis is opportunity. They say even if a tiger bites you, you can survive if you keep your head straight. That past version of me I just saw in the memory? The past is the past—what matters is the present. I might be one person, but the human mind houses multiple spirits. Time to show the power of collective intelligence.
Alright, all you minds in my head, assemble!
Reason: We're fucked we're fucked we're fucked!!!
Libido: Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her!
Survival Instinct: Eeeeek~ Run for your life, you idiot!
...Guys? The reactions from Reason and Survival Instinct are ridiculous enough, but what the hell is wrong with Libido, this bastard?
"Why aren't you answering, oppa? Is talking about mental preparation something embarrassing?♡"
The aspiring lunatic holding the awl takes another step closer. Actually, her eyes already look completely unhinged. Is she just a full-blown maniac now?
"St-stop! Don't come any closer."
"...?"
I urgently thrust out my hand and activate the nationally recognized Stop skill, freezing Kim Arin in place. The distance between us was now close enough that I could reach her with one stretch of my arm. In other words, just like the me in that memory, a spectacular, stormy night of passion with Awl-chan was right in front of me. Of course, I was the one getting stabbed, and the holes would be randomly generated in this deadly night of passion!
Think, Kim Seulgi! I can't just hand over my virginity to Awl-chan like this!
The hint the past me in the memory had sent was 'Don't answer.' But I had already spoken, and to avoid getting a stabbed-to-death ending here...
Screw it, let's go!
Reason: Hey, hey, is this guy serious right now?!
Libido: Huh? This guy's actually telling me to do it?!
Survival Instinct: Eeeeek! Stop, you crazy bastard!
I squeezed my eyes shut and thrust my head forward.
"Uh...? O-opp... mmph?!"
At first it was a moist, jelly-like softness. Then our lips met, different body temperatures blending together in a tickling sensation.
It's sweet...
It was hard to believe this sweetness came from the same girl who had just turned the past me in that memory into a human pincushion with that sharp awl.
"Haa... huff... chu... chuu..."
Kim Arin's breath, thrown into confusion by the sudden situation, tickled the inside of my mouth. I couldn't see with my eyes closed, but I could feel the fresh innocence of the petite girl as her small body trembled shyly.
Chuu!
"Pwah~"
It wasn't deep enough to call a real kiss, but too mature to call a simple peck. In reality it had lasted less than three seconds, but it felt like over ten minutes had passed before our lips finally parted.
"O-oppa. Wh-what was that... hueeeu...♡"
As I mentioned earlier, the distance between Kim Arin and me was short enough that an outstretched hand could bridge it. Thrusting my head forward from that range had naturally led to the kiss. Kim Arin's face had turned bright red, looking like she might explode any second from my completely unexpected extreme choice. She was babbling incoherently.
Of course the dangerous awl and rope were still gripped in her hands, so I couldn't let my guard down!
Yandere special trait: Exceeding their tolerance with stimulation causes overload and puts them in a groggy state!
What is a yandere? Isn't it a character who feels extreme affection toward the object of their love, obsesses over them, and displays pathologically insane behavior?
Beginners in dating sims are advised against targeting characters with such extreme traits. But for a dating sim veteran like me?
For pure love, respond with pure love. For extreme things, respond extremely!
You might call it wordplay, but the simplest yet hardest method is to counter a circle with a circle and a square with a square.
Let me explain with an easy example. Suppose there's a girl you're in a situationship with. One day after drinking together and walking her home, she says, 'Ah, I didn't order enough side dishes with the drinks. I'm feeling peckish. You're hungry too, right? Want to come to my place for some jjajangmyeon?♡'
You'd probably think, 'Oh, reeeally~? Today I'm the jjajangmyeon chef~☆' and instead of actually eating the noodles, you'd be huffing and puffing on each other's curly black strands while getting busy.
What? You'd hold back because you cherish her and just go home? Bullshit. Since it'd be better for the world if you just went home to jerk off, I'll ignore you and continue.
Now another example. Same situationship girl. Same night of drinking, same walk home. She says, 'Ah, I didn't order enough side dishes. I'm feeling peckish. You're hungry too, right? Want to come eat jjajangmyeon at my place?'
You'd say the same thing—'Oh, reeeally~? Today I'm the jjajangmyeon chef~☆'—but instead of boiling water, you'd go straight for those other curly black strands. Then you'd hear 'Hey! Are you crazy?!' followed by sirens, and end up living an unwise life behind bars.
Hmm? Same example, different results? Sigh... this is exactly why dating sim newbies never make it.
Look closely at the girl's line. The first one ends with 'Want to come for jjajangmyeon?♡' The second ends with 'Want to come eat jjajangmyeon?'
Quick-witted people would have caught the difference by now, but for those dense enough to go home and cultivate their spirit through steamy videos, I'll spell it out.
'Want to eat and go?♡' versus 'Want to eat and go?'
Completely different, right? If you're thinking 'What the fuck, are you playing word games with me?' then romance is already hopeless for you in this life. I recommend heading straight to an adult store and picking up a high-end doll. The technology these days is supposedly better than the real thing.
Anyway, enough tangents. What I'm trying to say is this: Just like how a heart versus a question mark at the end of a girl's line can completely change the outcome, blindly picking pure love options for a pure love character won't get you the happy ending. Conversely, even with an extreme yandere who says 'I'm only looking at you♡', choosing only loving options might lead to confinement or, like the past me, a grotesquely twisted resolution of that love.
In short: Character reactions, surrounding environment, progress level—everything. You have to match pure love with pure love and respond to extreme situations with extreme measures based on the exact circumstances.
If you ram a circle just because the other person is a circle, you might end up a dented square. If you ram a square because they're a square, you might get stabbed by their sharp corners.
Therefore, the choice I just made was like dropping a near-ending-level bomb event on a heroine whose progress was at zero—something you'd normally do to a heroine already at ninety.
It was an extreme bomb event that would earn you a slap from any other type of heroine, but because Kim Arin has yandere tendencies, it was the perfect way to push her into a panic state.
Thanks to that, I had successfully avoided the 'stabbed, kueh!' bad ending for now. But the problem was...
Reason: Hey, so what are you planning to do next? Are you actually targeting Kim Arin now? Weren't you the one saying the cousin little sister position is hard to get a happy ending with, so you'd put it off for later!
Libido: Hehehe... Saying no with your mouth but your body's being honest~♡ Did you fall for the taste of Arin-chan's long, hard rod (it's the awl, don't misunderstand)?
Survival Instinct: Whatever, just do what you want~
Yes. Even though Libido was spouting nonsense that made my head spin, the truly dizzying part was exactly what Reason said—this extreme choice of kissing had no follow-up move!
That doesn't mean I can fully savor the taste of Awl-chan's hard rod right now...
The kiss itself had been sweet, but even with my eyes closed, the scene of past me getting turned into a honeycomb by that awl flashed vividly in my mind. The landscape stained with painful screams and sticky blood. The memory of the pain had been erased, but if the same situation repeated, could I really stay sane?
Impossible. No way!
While I was contemplating whether I should make the cute girl who owned that long, hard, extreme awl my first capture target...
"Oh my~ I came over because it sounded noisy. What's going on here? Seulgi coming out of his room? More importantly, Arin! What if you hurt Seulgi with something so dangerous? Hand it over."
"M-mom. This is—ah!"
The reassuring sight of her easily disarming Kim Arin, who had just been threatening my life and chastity. And that jiggle, jiggle~ What sin did my daughter commit in her past life? Ah, she stabbed me to death, didn't she?
Anyway, unlike Kim Arin—whose appearance held a cute charm somewhere between girl and woman but whose bust-mounted charm pouch was somewhat lacking...
"Coming out of your room after a whole year... That's impressive, our Seulgi~"
Boing~ It wasn't my crotch becoming majestic... it was my breath getting cut off.
A beautiful woman who seemed like she could embrace anything and everything, with a majestic charm pouch so bountiful that the girls in this house would never have to worry about starving. She pressed both my cheeks into that warmth and gave me a hug full of affection.