A Memory of the Wrong Choice

My head throbbed like it was about to split open. It felt as if someone had cracked my skull and was kneading my pink brain with their bare hands—an utterly horrific sensation.

A mechanical voice rang out through the pain that transcended all cognition. A Wrong Choice Already Experienced. Memory.

This was supposed to be my 'first' time, so why was it showing me a memory I'd 'already experienced'?

"Ugh! What the hell is this bullsh—huh?"

Suddenly the headache vanished. No, it was more than that. Every sensation in my entire body disappeared. Like an out-of-body experience, the moment I realized the pain that had been turning my brain to mush was gone, 'I' was watching 'me'.

"Seulgi oppa, wake up!"

"Whoa?! You scared me!"

"S-s-s...!"

"J-just a second...!"

"I'm sorry, oppa! I didn't mean to look, but that doesn't mean I didn't want to see your beautiful body... wait, that's not what I meant?! Anyway, I'm sorry! I didn't know you weren't wearing clothes!"

This... was this my memory from just moments ago?

It was replaying the scene after I'd received a hundred million won from that mysterious rich guy, excitedly downloaded a dating sim, and then got transported into a world that might or might not be a game.

Yes, literally 'replaying'.

"Even the last page of the diary only had weird text that couldn't even be called an explanation?"

"...That's what it says, but I can't even understand the normal letters. Is the rest of it bugged? What is this?"

"Well, let's put that minor(?) issue aside. So once I leave this room, the real thing starts, right?"

Now that the headache was gone and I had some breathing room, I started to piece together what kind of situation this was. First, this was clearly replaying events from just before, down to the last syllable, completely independent of my will.

The two keywords: A Wrong Choice Already Experienced and Memory.

Based on those, it seemed like this was showing me a bad ending.

'But this is my first time playing...?'

The problem was that I was experiencing this game for the first time. If I interpreted it differently, maybe another player had reached a bad ending, and this was showing me their memory under the name Memory...

'I thought it might show me something I didn't know about since it said "already experienced," but it's exactly the same as before... hmm?'

The scene shifted to me opening the door and encountering Kim Arin.

'Right. That's where I greeted Kim Arin, spotted the rope and the sharp spike in her hand, and freaked out.'

Up to this point, it ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠matched what I remembered. But then...

"What the hell?! What is that in your hand?! The rope I can understand, but why the hell are you holding a spike?!"

Huh? I never reacted like that...?

The appearance and voice were different, but after thirty years of life, there was no way I wouldn't recognize my own unique speech patterns. It was unmistakably 'me,' yet the lines coming out were completely different from what I remembered.

"...? What's wrong, oppa? Didn't you come out because you wanted to see me?"

"What kind of nonsense is that?! I came out to play the game! Hoo... Fine. First, put down that spike in your hand. Damn it, I heard this world was full of yanderes, but this right from the start?"

The me in the memory frowned irritably, muttering about games and whatever, then ran a hand through my hair.

Hey... you idiot, this is not the time to be touching your hair! Look at the woman's eyes right in front of you! No matter how you look at it, she's not normal!

I wanted to scream "No, no, no!!!" like a scene from an old movie, but the me inside the memory couldn't see me.

"Ah, no Retry? There are system messages, so it must be some kind of VR game. Since it's gone completely wrong from the beginning, Retry seems like the answer... Hey~ Mr. Developer. You're ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠watching, right? Sorry, but can we start over? I really don't want my first heroine to be my cousin..."

"You don't want your cousin? You don't want... me?"

Both the current me and the me in the memory seemed to believe without a doubt that this was inside a game. Kim Arin stared at me with hollow eyes, her hand holding the spike trembling as if she'd been shocked. Ignoring her, the memory-me shouted toward what I assumed was the developer watching the situation.

And then, after about ten seconds of standoff...

"Whoa? Arin, what are you doing? You're not seriously trying to stab me with that, are you? Come on, this is a game, right? Even if you stab me, it'll just take away some HP. It won't actually hurt m—"

Shunk!

The sharp spike plunged straight into my defenseless abdomen.

Sigh~ I knew it would end up like this. Stupidly provoking a yandere heroine to her face and getting the instant-stab ending? Looking at the size of that spike, it didn't seem like instant death, and it didn't look like an RPG either, so maybe a bad ending message would pop up and then restart...

"Ugh! Cough?! I-it hurts...?"

...It hurts?

'Ah~ It must be some kind of tactile suit or something~'

I'd heard internet streamers used them a lot for punishment games. When the hell did the developers put something like that on me?

'Anyone watching would think I actually got stabbed with a real spi—'

"It hurts! It hurts, damn it?! Wasn't this supposed to be a game?! Logout! Quit! ...Why won't it let me out?! It hurts so much!!!"

W-what the hell is this? The spike was buried deep in the abdomen, and the face twisted in pain and shock, eyes bloodshot. No matter how you looked at it, that was 'real.'

There was no way a basement-dwelling dating-sim addict like me could act that well, and no way a simple tactile suit would produce a reaction like that?!

'L-lies... This has to be a lie!!!'

Until now, I'd thought this place was inside a game. No matter how unrealistically realistic it felt, even though I'd jokingly said things like "This isn't like getting possessed in a novel, right? Lol," deep down I'd believed it was just a 'game' with really advanced technology.

But what if this wasn't a game?

What if, just like those words I'd thrown out as a joke, I'd actually been possessed as the game character itself, like the protagonist of a novel?

Suddenly, the last message that rich bastard had sent right before I lost consciousness flashed through my mind.

Don't break while playing the dating sim? It was just a game where you laughed and had fun with pixel girls, right?

'That guy already knew... Who the hell was he? What the hell was he?!'

I wondered if he was some transcendent being like a god or demon, but then immediately rejected the idea, thinking that a thirty-year-old man shouldn't believe in such unrealistic crap.

'Right, drugs! He must have fed me some dangerous drug that causes hallucinations. Otherwise there's no way a game avatar would be screaming in pain after getting stabbed with a spike...'

"It hurts? I'm hurting too, oppa... Oh? Now that I think about it, we're feeling the same emotions right now, aren't we?"

"Ugh! Cough! What the hell are you babbling about? I need to get out of here... This can't be reality, right? There has to be a way to disconnect..."

Shunk!

"Aaaaaaaaagh!!!"

"What have you been saying this whole time, oppa? This isn't reality? This is 'reality,' okay? And..."

Shunk. Shunk. Shunk!!!

"We're feeling the same emotions right now, aren't we♡ You need to focus♡ Haa~♡ I should have done this from the beginning♡ It feels like oppa and I have become one♡ Hehehet~"

Blood flowed. The red droplets, so realistic they felt unreal, were being scattered everywhere by the cute young woman's gestures.

'Ugh?!'

The sticky metallic smell of blood hitting my nose. The 'me' on the floor screaming in agony as the spike dug into soft flesh across my abdomen and chest. But even though I wanted to close my eyes, turn my head, or throw up, my body that had lost all sensation refused to let me. It forced me to watch the other version of myself writhing on the floor, covered in blood.

'That's not me! This is my first time, right? That has to be someone else's memory! ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠There's no way this could be reality?!'

I denied it. This couldn't be real. There was no way I'd experienced something this horrific...

"I'm... not your oppa... I'm just a user... called YourHeroineIsAwesome... that's... all..."

The figure, eyes losing focus and no longer able to even twitch, stuttered out his identity word by word. This couldn't be happening. Was the person in that memory really me?

'I'm really dying this pathetically?!'

The scenery changed instantly. Instead of an afterlife, I was back in the same room where I'd been sleeping when the game first started. And there I was, the me who had just been pathetically stabbed to death, sitting and holding the diary.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck... I don't want to die. I don't want to die like this again... One sentence? I can only write one sentence? What should I write? What do I need to write so that 'I' won't make the same mistake? Okay, 'Don't answer.' That's it!"

Scribble scribble scribble.

"Damn it! It really won't let me write more than one sentence?!"

Ah... so the text on the later pages of the diary that I'd seen was distorted like a bug.

'Wait, the last page of the diary I saw wasn't just that...?'

The last page I'd ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠seen clearly had:

'No way.'

The worst-case scenario flashed through my mind.

The hint left by the me in the memory was just one thing: [Don't answer.]

But the diary I saw had four things: [Don't answer. Don't smile. Don't stay in the room too long. Don't look at other women.]

Which meant...

'I've died a total of three more times besides this memory...?'

'W-wait!'

You're going to show me something that traumatic and then just send me back?

"I'm not mentally prepared yet... Huh? My voice is com—"

"Mentally prepared? What kind of preparation are we talking about? O.ppa♡"

My eyes met Kim Arin's as she held up a pure white spike that hadn't been stained with blood yet...