The Empty House
If you looked at them, the two were exactly alike, yet there were people who turned dead serious at the mere suggestion that they resembled each other. No need to look far—my mother and Min-a were perfect examples. When I checked my phone, it was flooded with messages from both of them. Had I left yet? How was I going to handle the paperwork? Especially what kind of conversation I’d had with Yerin about how we would move forward. If they were that curious, they could have stayed a little longer after the funeral procession instead of bolting the moment it ended. The two women simply held out their hands, demanding results and nothing more.
‘Seriously, they’re carbon copies of each other.’
Mom was washing all the bedding because her granddaughter might come over, running the dryer in the meantime. Min-a said she was stopping to buy fruit before heading to Mother’s house. Everyone was bustling around busily, yet not one of them had asked the person actually involved for his opinion. They simply assumed their own conclusions were obvious fact. This was the right way to do things, and any objection from me was nonsense—they showed not the slightest hesitation.
‘Whether it’s me or my niece, they think we’re both sitting right in the palms of their hands.’
I slipped the phone back into my pocket without reading their replies. I didn’t want to hear it. I could already picture exactly what they would say.
“Yerin. Shall we head out now?”
“......Yes.”
Yerin was staring at her parents’ memorial portrait with sorrowful eyes. Only when I called her name did she flinch and turn toward me.
“We can stay longer if you want. It’s not like anyone’s chasing us out.”
“You said the bank was coming after you. That Samchon’s a debtor, after all.”
“I’ll pretend I don’t know when the time comes. You run first.”
“I’m joking. But if I say I’m going to Samchon’s house… Sungmo will definitely come to drag me back. Especially me.”
Yerin apologized, saying it was her fault for being so stubborn.
“I told you she’s not a problem.”
She had already begun teaching her niece all the wrong lessons. It was enough that I was the one tiptoeing around Min-a.
“Still…”
“She’s not the kind of person who can’t show that much consideration.”
‘Yeah, right.’ Truthfully, I couldn’t be certain. I could vaguely predict how she would react. Whether she would pester Mother to intervene or come at me directly. No matter which method she chose, she wouldn’t stop until she got the outcome she wanted.
‘I don’t know.’ I didn’t want to think about it anymore. For now, we would stop by Yerin’s house first. She needed to pack the things she would bring.
“After all, if she’s family, we should treat her well. Not just call her Sungmo in name only.”
“Even if you say that, Samchon, I doubt Sungmo will see it that way. Some stranger moving into her boyfriend’s house.”
“What if she doesn’t like it?”
“Huh? Isn’t that too much, Samchon? No matter what, she’s your girlfriend. Sungmo seemed like such a nice person, too.”
“You’re still young and don’t know how to read people yet. Just fasten your seatbelt.”
A nice person… Yes. She was a nice person. In many different ways.
I reached over and buckled the seatbelt for my niece, who was too busy chattering away.
“Your Sungmo… to be precise, she isn’t quite your Sungmo yet… Um… Well. You’ll be seeing her often from now on, so you can judge what kind of person she is for yourself.”
“Is she so nice that even Samchon has trouble saying it out loud?”
“She’s a… nice… person… Yes. She’s a good woman.”
Except for the part where she only felt satisfied once she had me in the palm of her hand, moving me exactly as she pleased. And the part where I could never tell whether she acted that way because she loved me or because of her possessive desire to own me—those two things were the same.
“How did you two meet, anyway? Oh, right—my friends keep asking about Samchon. They say all their uncles have beer bellies, so why is my uncle so young and handsome? It’s unfair, they keep complaining.”
“Those kids are funny. What would girls their age want with an old man like me?”
I had no idea how girls that age thought.
“I’m not lying! Look.”
As we stopped at a red light, my niece held out her phone. Samchon this, Samchon that. They were all busy talking about someone else’s uncle.
“They’re probably just teasing you.”
“They’re not. Anyway, can I tell them how old you are?”
“I’m… thirty-two… No. Thirty-one, I think.”
“Wow, you don’t even know your own age.”
“You’ll understand when you reach my age. There’s hardly any occasion to say it.”
When I was her age, I never understood why adults referred to age by birth year.
“Wait a minute… Then you and I are a full zodiac cycle apart.”
“Your mother and I are the same age. I was a late-born child.”
“Ah. Did you tell them your age, Samchon? One of the friends who came yesterday said she could handle up to twelve years older. She told me to start calling her Sungmo from today.”
“Who’s trying to get sent to prison?”
My phone kept vibrating in my pocket. Whoever it was, she was clearly furious. At the very least, I should have told her in advance that I was driving and would talk later. It might become truly difficult to handle otherwise.
“Yerin, Samchon is driving right now. Could you take my phone and send one quick message? Tell her I’ll call later because I’m behind the wheel.”
“Who—Sungmo?”
“Yeah. She’ll probably pop right up without you having to search.”
I unlocked the screen and handed her the phone.
“You even have her saved as Sungmo on your screen.”
“I didn’t do that. She set it herself.”
Now that I thought about it, aside from photos taken for work, nearly every picture was of my girlfriend. Half willingly, half by force. Even in random landscape shots, she would insert herself as the main subject. In the wide-open sky, the wide-open sea. As if it were only right that she should always be in my field of vision.
“Oh—phone’s ringing. Hello?”
"Huh? Who is this… Yerin?"
“Yes. Samchon is driving, so I answered for him.”
She didn’t have to pick up. And even if she did, there was no way she would hear anything pleasant. Yerin clutched the phone awkwardly, stealing glances at me.
“What is it? It’s on speaker. Go ahead and talk.”
I told Yerin it was fine to put it on speakerphone.
"No, I have something I need to say."
Normally she would have grilled me in detail about why I hadn’t answered earlier, but her niece was sitting right beside me. She probably didn’t want to be heard nagging her boyfriend.
“I’m telling you to say it.”
"Never mind. I’ll call back later."
In the end, Min-a hung up.
“See? Sungmo’s angry. Samchon, you really should have answered the phone. Aren’t you going to get in huge trouble now?”
“I was driving. What was I supposed to do?”
My niece was gradually learning my girlfriend’s personality.
“Don’t worry about it. You don’t need to be that concerned.”
Or perhaps this was the perfect chance to ask Min-a exactly what I was to her. She couldn’t even stand the sight of me looking after one crying niece, yet she still wanted to live with me?
We arrived near the address Yerin had given me.
“It’s that way.”
“Got it.”
“......”
“......”
An apartment complex slid past our windows.
“Turn right here?”
“......Yes.”
The closer we drew to our destination, the more Yerin’s expression darkened. She fidgeted with her hands and kept turning her eyes away from the window as if the sight was too painful. The familiar scenery seemed to make her uncomfortable; her lips moved silently.
“......Are you okay?”
“It’s… hard.”
All this time she had pretended to be fine. She had acted strong in front of her friends and bravely chatted with her uncle, but now that she stood before her own house, she could no longer hide her grief. There was no one left in that house but her. The home where her beloved family had always waited for her…
“Samchon.”
“Yeah.”
“You… have to go in with me. I really… I don’t think I can do it alone.”
“Don’t worry. If it’s too difficult right now, we can come back later. Or would you rather go to Grandma’s?”
“We are family, but we haven’t known each other very long, so it feels even harder.”
“Then what about me?”
“You’re Samchon. Um… Even though we haven’t known each other long, you’re comfortable. No, I’ll say you’re easy to be with.”
“Thanks a lot.”
“Anyway.”
Yerin grabbed the hem of my shirt.
“Otherwise I’ll go in alone. You can wait in the car for a bit.”
“I need to get my underwear too. Just… please stay right beside me.”
We entered after punching in the passcode. Even I would have found the space overwhelming if I had come alone. So this was where my sister had lived. A place saturated with her moments. Her breath, her life. I could easily imagine her walking through these rooms. But no matter how thoroughly I searched now, I would never find her again.
“I feel… strange too.”
As I walked through the living room, a family photo caught my eye. My brother-in-law, my sister, and Yerin smiled warmly toward me.
‘Sister. Brother-in-law. Don’t worry.’ I’ll protect your daughter well. I’ll make sure she becomes the happiest person in the world even without the two of you.
“Samchon… are you crying?”
“Look who’s talking.”
She was the one with tear tracks continuously staining her cheeks.
“I can’t help it. The tears just keep coming.”
“Same for me.”
“But you’re a man.”
“You sound exactly like your grandmother. When tears fall, what does it matter whether you’re a man or a woman?”
“It does here. Even if it’s you, Samchon, don’t cry. If you keep crying, Mom in heaven will only cry along with you.”
“Then… let’s only cry inside this house… and outside… we’ll try to hold back our tears at least a little.”
“How?”
“Just. So my sister in heaven doesn’t see and cry along with us. Just think of things that would make her happy.”
I wasn’t sure exactly what those things were. The future I could imagine was Yerin doing what she wanted to do, succeeding at it, living a happy life because of that success. Meeting a good person, getting married. Then I would walk her down the aisle in her father’s place. I would watch over her as she lived well. Then… wouldn’t that be enough? Just that. Happily.