A Soothing Touch
The voice on the other end dripped with fury. It sounded like she was convinced I’d been driving all day. While my niece packed her things, I called Min-a, and the scolding hit me like a thunderclap right away.
“What do you mean, all day?”
“I’ve called you several times and you never picked up. And why are you shoving our calls off onto Yerin? Do you think I call you just to hear some other woman’s voice?”
“Anyway, wouldn’t you feel bad if it were you? If another woman’s voice answered the phone instead of yours?”
“Yeah… I got it. I won’t say anything more now. When are you planning to head out?”
“Then let me know when you leave. I’ll come to your place. Let’s have a meal with our niece. I really want to treat you.”
“What do you mean, all day?” She must have been itching to let it out. She loses her mind if I don’t answer for even a minute, and with a niece who already grates on her nerves, it only gets worse.
“Hey… what are you even talking about? Let’s ease up, seriously. Is my niece even a woman to you?”
“She’s not a man, is she? No matter how you see her. Why are you always so quick to corner people who are already struggling? A child who’s already heartbreaking enough, and you just twist her into whatever you want in that head of yours.”
It was an endless cycle of bickering. In the end, I decided to respond by smoothing over her mood just enough.
“What else was I supposed to do? Later, if we have a daughter, are you going to yell at her too for answering her dad’s phone?”
“A daughter?”
“I don’t know if it’ll be a son or a daughter, but you and I will have one eventually. As the years go by.”
“Hoo, hoo. Look at you, saying such embarrassing things.”
“Then who else would have my child if not you?”
“Yeah… Of course. After all, I’m your woman. There’s no one but me.”
My words must have stroked her ego; the sharpness in her voice gradually melted into something softer.
“If you’re going to keep ranting about our niece, I’m hanging up. I need to go rest now too.”
“Where are you right now?”
“At Yerin’s house. Picking up her luggage.”
“Did her mother not say anything?”
“I’ll have to tell her now. Mom’s probably going to lose it too.”
“Lose it? Why would she? I didn’t lose it, did I? After all those calls, and you say I didn’t lose it? If I hadn’t held back, that woman would have grabbed our niece by the hair. But now that her mood’s improved…”
“You’d understand if you came over. Leaving a girl who’s all alone now in a place like this… it’s too big. This house.”
The family’s belongings filled every corner. When three people lived here, the house must have been crowded, noisy, and bursting with life. But now everyone had left. They had all gone, leaving only my young niece behind. Until she could stand on her own, I had to protect her.
“Yeah… I understand. I won’t say anything else. When are you planning to leave?”
“Leave? I don’t know. Probably as soon as Yerin finishes packing.”
“Then tell me when you set off. I’ll head to your place. Let’s eat with our niece. I really want to treat you both.”
“All right. Okay. Drive safely. I’ll call when we get there.”
Just a few words over the phone, yet I felt completely drained. I was already dreading how she would come home, look around everywhere, and start nagging again. Why doesn’t oppa ever listen to me? I told him I hated this color. If it gets dirty, just throw it out and buy a new one instead of acting so pathetic about it.
“Haah.”
The sigh had become a habit before I even realized it. My head was pounding, so I dug through my pocket for some headache pills. That’s when—
“Ah, are you done packing?”
“……Yes.”
I don’t know when she had come out, but there stood Yerin, hesitating and carefully watching my expression.
“Sungmo… must have called. I didn’t mean to listen in. It just sounded like it.”
“You’re quick to catch on. She says she wants to buy you a meal. If you don’t want to go, you don’t have to.”
I had no idea what kind of looks they would exchange or how they would torment my niece when they met. She couldn’t tolerate any woman near me—not even family. She had once begged me not to give my mother the new apartment’s passcode.
“No, it’s fine. We’re family, so we should meet. We’ll be seeing a lot of each other from now on anyway.”
“Yeah… We’re family. Family, right. I don’t know why your Sungmo acts that way.”
“What did Sungmo say?”
“She’s always just a nagging old bag. Is there any water in the fridge?”
“Are you thirsty? There’s more than just water.”
“Water’s enough.”
Now that I thought about it, what were we going to do with the refrigerator in this house? Any food left inside would spoil. But I couldn’t just tell her to throw away the side dishes my sister had made. To my niece, they were all memories.
How should I handle this?
When I really considered it, the entire house was filled with my niece’s memories. It felt ridiculous for me to stand beside her and tell her what to do with any of it. I had no right to say anything in the first place. What was this suddenly appearing Samchon doing, ordering his niece around?
As I leaned against the dining table, my niece handed me a cup. I tossed the pill into my mouth and drained every drop of water.
“Are you sick somewhere?”
My niece looked at me with genuine worry.
“You don’t have to worry about it. It’s just a headache pill.”
It had been trailing me like a chronic condition for some time now. Even after getting checked, nothing particular showed up. Just stress—the convenient excuse everyone liked to slap on whenever someone said they weren’t feeling well.
It was a ridiculous story. That my heart was weak. That I was complaining even though I had married the daughter of a rich family and lived an easy life.
I never let it show in front of my mother or Min-a… But strangely, whenever I looked at my niece, thoughts of my sister surfaced, and I ended up revealing my weak side without meaning to.
“Headache medicine? You don’t have a fever, do you?”
My niece pressed her hand to my forehead. She even touched her own head afterward, as if she had seen someone do it before.
“Can you really tell that way?”
Grateful for her thoughtfulness, a smile crept across my lips before I could stop it.
“Tsk, I can tell roughly. My senses are pretty sharp, you know.”
But it seemed my niece thought I was making fun of her. She felt around my forehead thoroughly and declared there was no fever.
“Come over here for a second.”
When I sat on the sofa as instructed, she pointed at the floor.
“Not the sofa—the floor.”
“What are you trying to do?”
“Don’t ask questions. Just hurry.”
In the end, I did as she wanted. She began firmly kneading the back of my neck.
“If you rub this spot like this… the headache gets better.”
Not too hard, not too soft. The warmth from her palms seeped through, soothing and gentle.
“Someone around you must get headaches often? To know a trick like this.”
“Mom says she gets them sometimes. Maybe everyone in Samchon’s family is a bit frail.”
“I’m perfectly healthy, though.”
“Having lots of muscles doesn’t mean you’re completely healthy. Aigoo, Samchon, what’s with this neck? It’s so stiff.”
“Well… I’ve had a lot of work lately.”
Softly, softly. It felt like a little puppy padding across my nape. Listening to her chatter while she massaged me, I suddenly realized how peaceful the moment felt.
If I had a daughter… would this be what it feels like?
If she took after Min-a, I wasn’t sure. I’d probably worry more that she would torment everyone around her exactly like her mother.
“Thanks to my niece, I feel all better now.”
I wasn’t just saying it. The throbbing headache had vanished completely, as if it had never been there.
“See? I was right.”
“But later when I meet Min-a… the headache will probably come right back.”
“Then I’ll just massage it away for you again.”
“The massage is nice, but don’t do it in front of Min-a.”
“Why? Is she jealous?”
“Extremely.”
“Sungmo’s kind of cute, isn’t she?”
“It’s not that kind of cute. Not even close.”
“Still. She thinks her own niece is going to steal her man. If she’s jealous of me.”
“I wouldn’t know. What goes on in her head.”
Even though she already had everything, it seemed she needed even more to feel satisfied. The fact that she wouldn’t even allow simple sympathy for a niece who had lost her parents proved it. In her mind, there was room for only one person—herself. Only the woman named Choi Min-a could firmly hold that spot.
“Is there anything you want to eat?”
“Not really. What about Samchon?”
“Nothing for me either. But we can’t just show up without deciding on something.”
“Samchon, you really are scared of Sungmo, aren’t you?”
“It’s not so much scared as… yeah. I’m scared.”
Strangely, I couldn’t lie in front of my niece. Maybe it was because of those sparkling eyes that looked so much like her mother’s. They made a person turn honest without meaning to.
I have nowhere to pour out my true feelings.
Who could I talk to about my woman? My mother? Friends? Coworkers? It was better to swallow it all alone.
“Don’t worry. I’ll protect you, Samchon.”
“Ha. You will?”
“What? I can protect you just fine.”
The girl, whose head barely reached my shoulder, thumped her chest as if making a solemn vow.
“If Sungmo bothers you, just tell me. I’ll stop her and tell her not to harass Samchon.”
“Then she’ll just bother you instead.”
“Hmph. Let her try. If it comes to it, I’ll bite her for real.”
“I don’t have the money to hire a lawyer for you.”
The casual chatter was over. It was time to leave this house.
I carried my niece’s bag for her as we stepped outside, but the way she kept glancing back tore at my heart. While we were inside, both of us had pretended to be cheerful and talked nonstop. But the moment we stepped out…
“Or we could stay a little longer? We can come back tomorrow if you want.”
“It’s okay. No matter how long I stay… even if I come again tomorrow… in the end, there’s no one left in this house.”
She tried to act strong. Tried to act like it didn’t matter. My niece said she was fine, but the redness around her eyes gave her away.
It was the same for me. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. No matter how many times I told myself that, the Samchon and his niece were tearing up again.
“Still… because I have Samchon. Because Samchon is here, I’ll come again. By myself… I really can’t do it. But if Samchon is with me, I’ll come. I can come. As long as it’s with Samchon.”
“Yeah. If you want to come, we’ll come anytime you like.”
Just say the word. Samchon is always here. For you, anything.